Dear Obnoxious Phone Users of the World:

While I will never deny that my cell phone has allowed me the opportunity to amuse myself during a boring class, I understand that there is a time and a place for texting.  Please learn when it is appropriate to have a relationship solely with your keyboard.  In case you need some help, I have given some strict guidelines below.  Adhere to them or you will end up friendless. For real.

During a Broadway show: Whoever says that the little light from a cell phone in a darkened theater is not distracting to other people around them is LYING. Broadway tickets cost over $100, and it is never okay to distract an audience from someone’s beautiful voice with your clicky texting sounds. Furthermore, in small theaters the actors can see you texting. You can’t get much ruder than that.

During a movie: While significantly less expensive than most live theater, the continuous “click click click” sound and the cell phone light make me want to take my $12 Diet Coke and dump it all over you.

As an excuse not to call: While a couple of text messages are always appreciated, they do not replace a conversation. If you have a story to tell, don’t text it; pick up the phone and call.  It’s not that loving texts and cute stories are not appreciated, but it shows a lot more effort and care to have a ten minute phone conversation than to exchange 30 texts and have everyone around cringe at the endless vibrations. Read More »

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note! Read More »

As July creeps closer in my archaic paper day planner (no, I don’t have a Blackberry, okay!?), I am getting ever more excited for one glorious event: The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Nothing beats watching a ripped hottie (Japanese hottie, no less) scarfing dogs like he’s on death row.  I, unfortunately, can only handle a maximum of three hot dogs (and that was on a bet…which I lost) and have no six pack.

Apparently, there is another awesome summer competition that I might actually have a chance at: the National Texting Championships.  Tasks include texting while blindfolded (uh, sleep/drunk texting basically – done deal) and texting while maneuvering through a moving obstacle course (texting while walking – done deal).  The most awesome part about this competition is the winner gets a free phone AND $50,000!  If only I had known about this before! Read More »

I’m addicted to technology. If I’m not at my computer something is very, very wrong with me then I’m checking my Facebook/email/Twitter/stock updates on my iPhone. I text when I drive, when I work, and even when I’m in the same house as my roommates. I can’t even fight with a friend face to face anymore.

Yes, I have a problem.

But there are some things about technology that drive me crazy. Mostly, the things other people do (because I’m perfect). Things that make me truly hate the person enough to un-friend them. And not just on Facebook. And I’m not just talking about sending me invites to awful Facebook applications (“Send me a drink!”) or people who confuse “your” and “you’re” in a status update; I’m talking about real technology offenders.

So here is my personal list of 5 technological straws that break this tech camel’s back: Read More »

We all know that texting while drunk is a horrible idea (can we say misspelled embarrassment, much?), just as much as drunk dialing.  However, texting while doing other things can prove to be even more dangerous.

Recently there have been incidents throughout the country involving transit workers texting while on the job and then, from lack of attention, having accidents.  The most current example of this happened in Boston, where a trolley operator had been texting his girlfriend and subsequently rear-ended another trolley at a red light.  This event has triggered one of the strictest bans seen on mobile phones since my mom wouldn’t let me have mine at the dinner table.  If it goes through, transit operators in Massachusetts will no longer be able to even have a cell phone on them at work.

This policy of zero-tolerance on texting and calling for transit workers is a great idea.  Who wants to be responsible and call a cab home from the bar if your cab driver is just going to text the entire time and probably cause an accident anyway?  Nobody!  That’s why I think there are a fair few other occupations where this ban would also be helpful: Read More »

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

I hadn’t known John* very well, so when I got a text at 11pm saying “I’m bored, come hang out” I should have immediately seen the booty call red flag. Especially because we had set up a first date for the next night, but John was hot and he cracked me up so I was excited to see him. When I got there, he answered the door and immediately shushed me. You see, his parents were sleeping and John wasn’t allowed to have girls over past a certain hour.

Dating a guy who lives with his parents isn’t so awesome, but we’re all broke college students so I tried to understand as he hurried me through the pitch black living room scattered with baby pictures and Precious Moments figurines. I was a little less understanding when he led me straight into an ottoman. I fell, and not a small fall either. I fell down, on the ground, wincing in pain. But again, I was crushing so I picked myself up grabbed his hand and tried not to think about my scraped knee.

Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Long Lost Friends: You know the best friend who truly defined the term BFF for you? Well you can scribble out that last F now that you two have drifted apart. You never thought you’d see the day when it had been 2 years since your last sleepover/margarita marathon/ trip to Forever 21 together, but that day has sadly arrived.

You catch yourself reminiscing over long forgotten Facebook albums; some of the pictures are even—gasp—detagged! You find yourself determined to reunite and catch up, what with you both returning home from different schools on Spring Break. What a coincidence, you’re not going to Mexico, and she won’t be joining the Senor Frog with all of her schoolmates. With nothing else to do in the boring suburbs, you assume that you two will def hang out (mostly because you texted her “we will def hang out”). But sure enough, you and homegirl don’t get together. You don’t even hang out. Not even a Starbucks run together…and the worst part is? She lives a block away from you. Read More »

Let’s talk about Twitter: To have a Twitter, or not to have one? To use it, or not to use it? And most importantly, how do you use a Twitter?

It seems like everyone’s all atwitter about, well, Twitter these days.  Started in 2006, Twitter is a “micro-blogging” service where users post status updates (called Tweets) that are limited to 140 characters, which answer the question, “What are you doing?” You can also add friends on Twitter by “following” their feeds.

But while you may be thinking, “only status updates? Just 140 characters? Why would people care what I’m doing 400 times a day? I already have a Facebook, thanks,” don’t dismiss Twitter just yet.  As a matter of fact, its beauty is in its simplicity.

People use Twitter for everything from updating their friends about their whereabouts (“at the airport- Spring Break Cancun here I come!”) to sharing breaking news and reactions to important events.  It’s actually become quite a phenomenon among journalists and media-types. Many will post links to fresh news stories or recent articles they’ve written. It’s easy because you can update Twitter from your cell phone (via text message) or instant messanger, so you can post when you’re on the go. Read More »

As a semi-live-in girlfriend, I encounter all kinds of things in my boyfriend’s boudoir that he might have previously attempted to put away or hide to create a more presentable version of himself. Well those days are long gone and I am now subject to every dirty pair of boxers, week old Taco Bell leftover and wet, mildewed towel left on the bed. But these things I’m pretty much immune to. Guys’ rooms are almost by definition a hell of a lot dirtier than girls (at least I like to pretend) and all of these little things can be fixed with a load of laundry, a huge garbage bag and a little Febreeze.

But what are the kinds of things that you would never want to find in your guy’s room? Besides the very obvious (unrecognizable panties, bras, earrings, condom wrappers) I can name a few…

1. Super Creepy Porn.

You can pretty much accept the fact that there will be some form of porn in your guy’s room at some point. You can also be fairly sure that you will accidentally intercept said pornography via mail, browser history or that shoebox under his bed. (Tip: boys don’t want you to surprise them with spring cleaning; you probably shouldn’t want to surprise them with it either.) No big deal, I say, come to terms with the fact that while your guy absolutely loves hooking up with you, he will still want to look at porn. It’s just a different outlet for their sexuality and can actually improve your sex life when seen from the right perspective. Additionally, it’s a good substitute for when your boyfriend wants to get it on (always) and you don’t (rarely, but it happens). If there were no porn there would be an abnormally high amount of blue balls or of extremely exhausted girlfriends. Read More »

   OR  

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Ex-boyfriend calls out of the blue (at 3 am).

Although it would be mighty enjoyable to deny your calls during daylight hours, I just couldn’t muster up the proper amount of excitement about ignoring you as I was attempting to sleep. At 3 am. As most (okay some) college students are doing on Wednesday nights. It was, in fact, incredibly irritating to listen to my phone vibrating violently until it buzzzzed right off my nightstand, unplugged itself from my charger and died early the next morning, preventing me from whiling away my classes with interesting texts and Facebook stalking.

It seems that you still find ways to annoy the sh*t out of me, even technologically! Your call was especially appreciated by my new (and way better) boyfriend, who happened to be sleeping next to me and was quite frankly a little pissed off for the entire next day due to sleep deprivation and extreme annoyance with you. The only consolation I got from your obnoxious ass was the touching voicemail you left me (I believe you were crying) slurring on and on about how great I am. Well, I think it’s a little too late for that, mister, and so does everyone else who listened to it (aka 48 of my sorority sisters with a tendency to gossip)–although they did get a great laugh out of listening to your blubbering for 3 minutes. Read More »