I have never really been good at the whole dating thing. Well, maybe not dating – I rock on first dates and have been told by many a-man that I am quite the kisser — more the patience part of it. I have a tendency to get super excited, super soon. A common case of falling too hard, too fast. I sit by my phone/computer willing the boy to communicate with me in some way.

An IM?

A text?

Something.

And when it doesn’t happen, I jump into action. A cute text message here. A hilariously witty email there. I am not being crazy or stalkerish; I am just being cute. Giving him something to fall in love with.

I never really questioned my actions (even though every book on earth tells you to play hard to get) until I found myself on the receiving end of the “cuteness.” I met a guy online and began IMing with him. We had some good conversations through AIM, so when he asked me for my digits a few days later I obliged.

So, he called. And he called again. And he texted. And he sent me Facebook messages, IMs, emails, more texts. They were clearly attempts at being cute (“We are in a fight”, “Did you forget about me?”), without success. They were not funny or witty; if anything, they made him look completely pathetic. Did he have nothing better to do than sit around and wait for me to call? Didn’t he have friends, or something else to occupy his time? Read More »

The Exsex was something that had been on my mind all week this week. To have great sex so easily and without any emotional cost or expectation on behalf of either person…it sounded like such a glamorous and hot way to bypass all of the bullsh*t I hate that normally has to take place on the path toward getting laid.

I eventually had to weigh the pros and cons.

PROS

The sex with Brian would be wonderful.

Brian is incredibly well-endowed (adding to the wonderfulness of it).

It would be easy. He would be leaving town the next morning.

CONS

He would be 45 miles away.

The weather got crappy.

The two of us having real privacy would be a gambling game.

And still, the biggest question lingered in my mind:

Would it really be sex without strings attached? Read More »

In college, many of my close friends were perfectly fine with booty calling a guy or being a guy’s booty call. Their attitude was if you can handle having no-strings-attached sex and are safe about it, then hey, why not go for it?!

While I admired their liberal outlook, I didn’t really have an opinion of my own as I, for the most part, wasn’t really booty calling guys or being their booty call. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as if I didn’t hook-up with guys, I did, but I always found myself in situations where no booty call was necessary. Most of the time, the guy I would be taking home with me that night was right next to me.

Really, it hadn’t been until recently, while living in New York, that I’d gotten my first foray into world of booty calls. At a Christmas party I hit it off with a blonde, blue-eyed cutie and ever since then we’ve exchanged numerous flirtatious text messages. Sure, many hinted at action between the sheets, but while risqué, nothing had ever come of them. Until Saturday night.

At around 2:30 am, just when I was about to go to bed I get a text message from him, “I want to see you.” Ah, the ever notorious booty call, or in this case, text message. Even though I wanted to have sex and knew I could have a safe, uncomplicated experience with him, I debated for a few minutes whether I should even respond. While I could hear my friends in my mind telling me to “go for it” I wondered if texting him back and inviting him over to my place would make me a slut. Read More »

This weekend I met a guy. He is cute, funny, and 6’1″ – we exchanged numbers, and things were looking good.

Then at the end of the night as I was falling asleep, my phone chirped to inform me of a new text, from my new guy, “Great 2 meet u.”

Damn. And he had so much potential.

I know, I know, it is a sweet thing to say, but my problem is not with what he said, its how. I am the first to admit that I being extremely judgmental, but as an English major and someone who thoroughly enjoys words, I really hate to see them butchered.

Yeah, I’ve had people rationalize this texting style as faster, easier, whatever, but to substitute a single letter or a number for a word completely peeves me. Every time I see ‘4‘ in place of the word ‘for‘ or ‘c‘ instead of ‘see‘ or ‘2morrow‘ where there should be a ‘tomorrow‘ I cringe, I think of a junior high student, IQ points are lost, and a person suddenly seems extremely lazy- is it really that much harder to just type the extra two or three letters?? (The answer is no.) Read More »

Deflowering a virgin is something that guys think about…and they usually think about it in one of two ways: they either are dying to do it because they love the idea of being a girl’s “first” OR they’re terrified of it because they can’t emotionally throw down and they don’t think it’d be fair to rob a girl of her innocence without being able to give her foot massages and take her out on dates.

However, when I deflowered my first and only (or so I hope to be my first and only) virgin; I wasn’t thinking about either one of these things. Because I didn’t know he was a virgin. I had just met him.

Here’s what I DID know:

-He was bangin’ hot.

-He was a few years younger than me. However, he was 19 and legal.

-He was shy around me and I thought it was cute.

-He was willing to drive two hours to meet up with me the day after he met me.

-He still lived with his parents.

-He worked at Jamba Juice.

Here’s what I found out during the act:

-He was afraid of giving oral. I taught him how. (In my defense; I believed that there was a possibility he could have been inexperienced with oral, but still experienced with intercourse.)

-He had no idea how to take charge in sex. (Yawn. I hate that.)

Here’s what happened after the act: Read More »

Sup 2nite? U wanna go 4 drinks?

It’s official. Text messaging is ruining dating.

In all honesty, I completely understand that it’s less pressure to send a text message and get a non-response than to call and have to deal with a person’s voice saying ‘yea-or-nay’, but it’s made the entire process much less personal. It feels a bit corporate, to say the least, if you’re doing more than setting a date.

In which case, let me check my Outlook calendar, I’ll get right “back 2 u.”

Don’t get me started on the lingo. I’m a chronic abbrever (see? Just abbreviated ‘abbreviator.’) and I’m a fan of acronyms, but let’s get serious. If you can’t be bothered to type out an entire word, do you really want to be bothered meeting up later? Have you seen “You Can’t Text Message Break-up“? If you must make texting part of dating, learn some ground rules: Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 135

Mood: Not so glad to be back

As I heaved the last of my suitcases onto my bed, I couldn’t help but feel like everything would be a lot better if I only had one more week at home.

January classes were supposed to be a way for me to get my math requirement over and done with without a hassle, but when I made the decision to come back to college after only two weeks at home, I hadn’t anticipated how naked and lonely everything would be. Campus felt empty and silent, the usual crowds replaced by a few duos and trios dragging heavy backpacks and even heavier expressions.

It wasn’t a really thrilling thing, to be spending the month of January doing extra work.

Slowly, I unzippered the first of three suitcases and began to unpack the loads of clothes I never ended up wearing at home. Besides a few family functions and a few meetings with high school friends, I had spent my days in fleece pajamas and sweatshirts, reveling in a no make-up, no fuss lifestyle.

“This place is gonna feel so huge with just us two!” Stacey walked into our room wearing her pink bathrobe and carrying a dripping wet shower caddy. Squeezing her wet hair on the carpet, she looked at me and spoke/shouted again. “Isn’t going to be awesome to have all this space?”

“I guess…” Read More »

Don’t you hate it when you see a hot guy at the bar and you’re too much of a wimp to strike up a conversation with him? Put your troubles at the door – Ice Brkr is here to solve all of your social problems.

Ice Brkr is a new dating application in the UK that enables wallflowers to break the ice with their budding prospect – through text-messages. Using the Ice Brkr service, all you have to do is browse through the photos of potential daters on the site, check to see if the object of your affection is available, text them “hello” and there you have it – instant L-U-V.

Yes, you read that correctly: humankind has stooped so low as to accept texting as a reasonable way to meet someone. The end is near. Read More »

I know, I know. Everyone is using their cell phone to date these days. Texting is totally 2007. It’s quick communication without the hassle of actually dealing with a voice on the other end.

But I hate it. Especially when it’s combined with dating.

Way back in the day, it was common practice for people to speak on the phone after a first date—or not. Either a duo chatted a few days later or someone decided to just “forget” to call, making it pretty obvious what the future held. A call meant “I like you, let’s go out again” no call meant “eh. You lost me at hello.”

But now, with the increased popularity of texting, people can walk the line and make everything 100 times more confusing. Sort of like the person but not sure if you really feel like going out again? Send a random, friendly text message. Cover your ass in case you bump into them on the street.

“You’re pretty cool and we should talk soon.”

That’s the gist of a text I received a few days ago after going out on a first date last weekend. But no phone call followed the text. Not even an email. Just some random, noncommittal, rated G words typed into a phone in the middle of the day. Read More »

When I don’t have my cell phone on me throughout the day, I feel naked. Truly.

During college, if I ever forgot it back at my sorority house after heading out for the day, I would somehow find a way to sprint back and get it in between classes. I was so sure I would miss the call of a lifetime during that 9 am – 10:20 am time period.

Usually, I didn’t.

Well, this addiction causes me to have frequent instances where I can swear I hear it ringing, but when I would reach into my bag and take a look, it is totally silent.

No missed calls, no new text messages, no new picture messages. What is this weird thing that I was hearing?

Am I going crazy?

Nope, just suffering from a case of Ringxiety. And yes, it is a real thing, and there has now been a study done to back it up.

According to a recent news report, “A new study found that two thirds of the people surveyed reported hearing their phone ring or feeling it vibrate when it had not actually rung. The phenomenon has been termed ringxiety…The more frequently a person uses their phone, the more often they reported hearing a phantom ring, the study found. These participants (67% of the people surveyed) had higher monthly charges, used more minutes, sent more text messages, and showed higher levels of impulsivity.” Read More »