There are two types of drinkers: The kind that can handle their liquor, and the kind that can’t. The kind of drunk who is the life of the party, and the kind the party wants to punch in the face.

What kind of person are you?

Annoying drunk people…

Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” before they reach for a bottle of Bud Lite/Jager/Windex/anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of intoxication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night.

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Dear “That Guy”,

Your ability to drink in excess and ruin 95% of pictures taken at parties gets me hot and bothered. I think it’s uhh… adorable that you maintain your appearance to the point where I question your sexual orientation. I guess I respect the fact that you tweeze, bleach and pluck more than me. The fact that you care about your “fresh kicks getting smudged” more than your future or GPA is super sexy…?

Babe, what happened to you? Before you became “that guy” you were once “just one of the guys.” You were playing Madden instead of photoshopping your Facebook pictures. You couldn’t tell Armani from Target. Your cellphone lived in your pocket instead of clipped to your ribbon belt, and for the love of God, why are you orange-r than an Oompa Loompa?! I liked you without your bromosexuality. I’m not interested in the Brody Jenners or the Gotti wannabes!

Why does your tee shirt have more sparkles on it than Limited Too’s entire Spring Collection circa 1998? These glittery numbers are worsened by being “slim fit” to show off your “killer pecs.” Maybe they work for Hulk Hogan, but they don’t work for you and they definitely don’t work in public. Do society a favor and wear clothes that fit. And if your shirt has a collar? I don’t care if you’ve been popping it ever since you can remember. Old Yeller that nonsense. Put. It. Down. Read More »

According to University of North Carolina professor Kevin Caneiro, there’s a new disease lurking on college campuses nationwide. Dubbed  “Laptop-itis,” it is the result of excessive use of laptops and cell phones with symptoms ranging from worsened posture to pain in the backs, necks, and wrists of students everywhere.

Caneiro’s concern regarding this ailment is understandable – we don’t need an entire generation of hunchbacks, after all – but in the grand scheme of things, Laptop-itis is the least of our problems. Really, there are plenty of larger issues we college students should be worrying about. Like Athlete’s Foot from the showers. Or Mono from all those frat party makeouts.

Or any of these:

Laundr-phobia:  Often striking halfway through the semester, students present with an unhealthy, all-consuming fear of the laundry room (usually stemming from an uncertainty of how to use the machines).  Symptoms include a lack of underwear, crusty stains and a less than desirable smell of mildew permeating from their overflowing hamper.  In extreme cases, Laundr-phobia’s effects can be disastrous (and foul), often leading to ridicule and friend loss.  While there is no known cure, temporary reprieve is available during long weekends at home with mom. Read More »

"I really wish you'd give a little more between the sheets..."

Girls are known for nagging. It’s not something we’re proud of, but, honestly, do we really have a choice? If we didn’t pester our boyfriends we would never get them out of their man cave and into a civilized restaurant.

But despite the fact that guys don’t whine and give us puppy dog eyes when they want us to do something, it turns out that they their own list of secret wishes when it comes to our behavior.

The dudes over at Guyism.com recently shared all the things they secretly wish their girlfriend would do. While we won’t be enjoying Fantasy Football anytime soon (seriously WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT?!), we do understand the allure of the sexy Halloween costume and promise to continue sporting it every year.

This little list was quite enlightening (guys like funny girls? Score!) and got us thinking (as usual) about the things that we secretly wish they would do.

Our boyfriends are wonderful; we love them more than anything. But if they did some (or preferably all) of the following, we’d be sending a mass text for a girls night ASAP to brag to all of our girlfriends about how absolutely amazing our guy is (and chances are they’ll be getting a little luckier then usual come bedtime…).

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Every Monday, CollegeCandy does a top ten countdown, Letterman style, about whatever everyone’s buzzing about. This week, we’ve decided to dissect the party animals we’ve all come to know and….well, just know.

We’ve all been at the sticky-floored keggers, so here’s a rundown of the ten types of dudes you’ll find at these parties. Every single party. Every single time.  Print this out and bring it to the next frat/house party to check these guys off as you see them. You can even turn it into a drinking game, taking shots as they pass. Although, on second thought, that might be a one-way ticket to alcohol poisoning. Read More »

Admit it. I’m sure most of you have met THIS guy at a party. He’s not exactly attractive (or is downright HAGGARD) and you don’t bother giving him the time of day, let alone a conversation. Then all of sudden, he picks up a guitar and it’s like a halo appears over his head.

His tangled beard is no longer gross, now it’s “rugged.” His dirty sneakers don’t reek anymore, now they’re “vintage.” It’s like there is some secret blinders installed in every single guitar on the planet that are ignited the second the boy starts strumming. And, speaking from experience, it becomes even worse when they play one of “your songs.” Unexpectedly, the ugly boy has become a guitar god in your eyes and you are smitten.

Sadly, this phenomenon isn’t exclusive to us mere mortals. It’s carried over into the world of celebrity, granting horrible to mediocre-looking fellows a chance to shine too. In fact, without their guitars, it’s doubtful whether these five men would have had a career at all because, god knows, they don’t have the looks to carry them through Hollywood. Read More »

Dear “That Guy”,

Your ability to drink in excess and ruin 95% of pictures taken at parties gets me hot and bothered. I think it’s uhh… adorable that you maintain your appearance to the point where I question your sexual orientation. I guess I respect the fact that you tweeze, bleach and pluck more than me. The fact that you care about your “fresh kicks getting smudged” more than your future or GPA is super sexy…?

Babe, what happened to you? Before you became “that guy” you were once “just one of the guys.” You were playing Madden instead of photoshopping your Facebook pictures. You couldn’t tell Armani from Target. Your cellphone lived in your pocket instead of clipped to your ribbon belt, and for the love of God, why are you orange-r than an Oompa Loompa?! I liked you without your bromosexuality. I’m not interested in the Brody Jenners or the Gotti wannabes!

Why does your tee shirt have more sparkles on it than Limited Too’s entire Spring Collection circa 1998? These glittery numbers are worsened by being “slim fit” to show off your “killer pecs.” Maybe they work for Hulk Hogan, but they don’t work for you and they definitely don’t work in public. Do society a favor and wear clothes that fit. And if your shirt has a collar? I don’t care if you’ve been popping it ever since you can remember. Old Yeller that nonsense. Put. It. Down. Read More »

DeAnna said it best, “I cannot believe that I’m going to marry the guy with the pink shoelaces.”

I can’t either.

On tonight’s season finale of The Bachelorette, once jilted contestant DeAnna Pappas chose underdog pro-snowboarder Jesse over easy-going single-dad Jason. It was shocking to say the least, especially considering this episode.

The fellas went home to Georgia to meet DeAnna’s family. Jason wowed the Pappas’ with his intellect, charm and sincerity. Papa Pappas seemed to swoon himself. Meanwhile, even with a new haircut, everyone was a little perplexed over just how Jesse got this far in the competition. Read More »

Sometimes you fall in love. And sometimes you get your heart broken because you fell in love.

You recollect the pieces of yourself that the relationship scattered all over and eventually, you become stronger and you move on. You start to like other guys and you begin to wonder what it was that possessed you to the point of tears over ‘that’ guy before…

He treated you like crap.

He made you cry.

He was the one always screwing up and then the whole thing finally ended — exploding, despite your efforts to make it work.

You get over it.

And then he comes back. Read More »

Have you ever met that guy who’s got arrogance dripping from his pores? He’s a Tommy Lee, with charm, stuck in a Brad Pitt body. And he can dance. And he is undeniably witty…always with better comebacks than your own during your flirtatious banter with him.

He can get all the girls. And the fact that he knows it sadly doesn’t make it any less of a fact because…you know you’d do him, too.

Well, Scotland’s Calvin Harris is not only this guy…but he’s written a song about it, too. As I heard his music for the first time in a video on YouTube, aptly named, “The Girls“; I was angry. The chorus of his song is simple:

“I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls”.

He dances around with American Apparel looking babes of all sorts of hair and skin color. And I’m angry because I would bet money that he DID get all of those girls after the video shoot.

And the sexiest part of all? Read More »