Yes, love is worth putting your life on hold for. But is the bachelor worth putting off studying for my nutrition exam?

Well, YEAH! I can really empathize with the bachelorettes this season because I dated a guy last fall who dated another girl at the same time as me, and it totally sucked, and he never even gave me $2 million worth of diamonds that he borrowed from ABC, not even to wear around the house.

I’m a little sick of all the man – in – uniform – as – a – white – knight – who – will – rescue – you metaphors, but this season is going swimmingly (literally: why are these people always doing water sports? Are water sports a precursor to true love? If so, I need to learn to swim). Read More »

Watching The Bachelor makes me really glad I’m not on the show because I would never want to watch myself kiss anyone. People look ridiculous when they kiss. Little Amber looked way constipated. Let it go, girl! The Officer/Gentleman is kissing you in a hot tub! Give him some tongue! Live a little.

My only theory is that Amber, and all the other girls, for that matter, have crushes on one of the cameramen and feels weird kissing Andy in front of him. People never think about the cameramen on these shows, but you gotta hedge a bet that they get around. I mean, if I had the choice between a manicured, chivalrous Brooks Brothers-wearing guy driving around in ABC-rented Lamborghinis and the greasy, schlumpy dude behind the camera (who basically controls how thin I look on T.V.), well, the choice is clear.

That said, what kind of name is Bevin, and since when do 28-year-olds cry about a sprained ankle, let alone wear stilettos with one? Not sexy. Also, skiing? Not sexy. Tessa? Not sexy. I said it. I’m sorry.

Next week on The Bachelor: a comedy of extreme sports and forced altruism. Only the strong survive.

This season of The Bachelor is no disappointment. Andy, while Ken-doll cute, is just a touch dull. Luckily, as a doctor, he knows that alcohol is the cure for a lack of personality. I just hope he doesn’t drink like he does on the show before he operates. The girls, as always, are toothy, tube-topped lovelies, trying to make light of the fact that they’re participating in a televised brothel.

Anyway, I really feel for the girls, especially when the producers of the show make them go on outdoor dates at night– they always look so cold! Poor Peyton and Tessa were shrinking under their pashminas on that aircraft carrier. So much for romance– Andy’s only got two arms, and one of them has to hold the booze.

If I leared anything from last night’s episode, it is that openness and honesty are the keys to a functioning relationship with a man who is dating 12 other women on national television. My rose goes to Kate, who not only has an impressive head of hair but a sense of humor (intentional or unintentional?) about the situation. My greatest wish is for her and dandy Andy to have some “affectionate time” together. We’ll just have to wait until next week…

I usually watch TV at really odd hours, like 6 a.m. or 2 a.m., so I mostly end up watching Emeril Live (it’s always on!) or QVC.

I attempt to watch regularly scheduled popular programming, but besides a three-week flirtation with Grey’s Anatomy last semester, I really don’t have the stamina to keep up with a show.

So it might surprise you that I was totally psyched to find out that The Bachelor was back for a seventh season last Monday.

The Bachelor is the perfect show: illustrious, dumb, catty, ridiculous = completely entertaining. I’ve been hooked since season 1. In past seasons, I grew a bit dismayed because the bachelors in question were subpar. Things got weird. Read More »