Cue two naked couples, both in sexual scenarios.

Couple 1 attacks each other like wild animals, both racing to the big O.

Couple 2 takes their time, pleasing each other in various kama sutra-like positions, aiming to prolong the act of sex by channeling sexual energy and increasing intimacy, letting go of all reservations and connecting to their sexual experience spiritually before engaging in the physical.

So, which couple are you? If you’re an ordinary lover like myself, then you can probably identify with couple 1. If couple 2′s experience sounds more appealing, then the increasingly popular “tantric sex” might be of some interest to you.

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Q: I met a guy about six months ago, we hit it off and after a few weeks we started hooking up. At first we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, making out every chance we got and having sleepovers every weekend. The sex was amazing, but I never orgasmed. I still really enjoyed being with him, it just wouldn’t happen for us no matter what he did or how hard he tried. This went on for about a month and a half and then he started losing interest in messing around, now we only hook up about once a month. Could it have anything to do with the fact that he couldn’t make me orgasm? And why is that so important to guys? It’s not like he couldn’t make me feel good without that.

A: Oh, the ever-so-popular “wtf happened?” question. Without knowing every background detail of your relationship, I’d say, sure, maybe he’s distancing himself because he’s hung up on the big O. But we all know it can be pretty much anything. Guys fall off the face of the earth every day for every reason imaginable, and in my experience, it’s rarely for the reason we think.

You say you still hook up about once a month–who’s initiating these hookups? Is he still showing the same amount of enthusiasm? And most importantly, have the two of you ever talked about the (non)orgasm issue? I’ve been in your shoes–I’m not super easy to please, and it seems like some guys have trouble understanding that sex can be awesome for us without an orgasm, so I usually tend to mention it in a light-hearted way, either be saying something like “no worries, I’m hard to please, but we’ll get there” or by laughing about it if the dude is the first to make a joke about it. Read More »

The Big O. Possibly one of the most popular topics of discussion for women of all ages, but especially college age girls. Did you have one? How many times? How long did it last? How good was it? etc, etc. I’m sure that at one point or another, all of us have either been the one dispensing the questions or the one taking them on the other end.

Still, it remains a relatively touchy subject for those who are not able to experience it and figure the only way is through plain old sex. Well, a new book called, The Science of Orgasm, explores all of the research currently known about this phenomenon.

One of the book’s main authors and leading researchers, Beverly Whipple, was interviewed by Wired.com on the topic, and I have a feeling that what she says will surprise and excite you as well. (Fun fact about Whipple: she believes sex is actually good for you and those who have more sex are healthier)

Anyways, back to the Big O discussion…

Did you know orgasms are possible in many forms?

“We have documented in our laboratory that women can have orgasms from imagery alone without touching their body. The point is that women can experience orgasms and sexual pleasure from many forms of stimuli. It does have not have to be through genital stimulation.” Read More »