Whenever I tell someone I’m going on vacation, they don’t tell me to have a safe trip or take lots of pictures. No. Inevitably, they say the same thing every single time:  “Bring me back something good.” Of course they mean a souvenir. Love getting them, but hate giving them.

Well, this spring break I’m doing things a little different; I’m going to think outside the box and break the souvenir norm. Who said souvenirs had to be “fun” or “safe”?

Gone are the days of snow globes, useless thimbles, ugly t-shirts and fragile shot-glasses. Instead, I have come up with five ideas of what to bring back from those sunny spring break cities. Whether you need gifts for your friends or mementos for yourself, these ideas will keep the memory alive for years to come.

1. A new last name: Why not pull a Mariah and come back with a hyphenate? There’s a reason celebrity vacations splash the covers of tabloids, and that reason is scandal. Nothing spells gossip like spontaneous beach-side nuptials. Friends and commitment-phobes alike will enjoy this souvenir, just remember to get Britney’s annulment lawyer before you sign your new name on the dotted line. Read More »

[To ask Tuffy Luv a question (which she WILL answer), email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and leave a question at the sound of the tone.]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I recently ran into a boy i used to (and still) have a crush on, but don’t know too well. We had a really great, long, kind of flirty conversation but he eventually revealed that he’s had the same girlfriend since high school.

When the topic of relationships came up, he started talking about a serious problem he has with his girlfriend. It seemed odd, considering we aren’t really close and I don’t even know her… then he gave me his number and told me to call him if I was around this summer.

Granted, I am pretty easy to talk to, but does the fact that he brought up his relationship problems to me mean something? Or is he just so secure with the relationship that it feels comfortable to talk about it to whoever? Maybe he’s the kind of guy who stays in a relationship because it feels safe, and needs another girl to get him out of it? I’m confused!

thanks,

anna

Dear Anna,

Run from this douchebag as fast as your cute little legs will take you. Read More »

Summertime’s for lovin’, which ostensibly means that summertime’s for STDs. And this summer, a whopper of an STD is back with a vengeance: syphilis.

The only thing they ever told us about syphilis in health class is that Al Capone died from it. So, I figured if I stayed away from the mafia I’d be okay. But as the New York Post reports, there have been 260 cases in New York City alone this year.

Syphilis is no longer a thing of the past, a disease that claimed the young lives of powerful visionaries like King Edward VI and Ivan the Terrible. Nope, Syphilis has finally caught up with the times. It’s a vintage STD, back for more. But not vintage in a good way. Vintage like… leg warmers. Read More »