Have the last 7 days made anyone else crave a bubble bath and a good book? How about a Valium?

Anyway, the world kind of imploded this week. Cheerleaders were bashed for being cheerleaders, we had flashbacks to 7th grade when our sworn enemy put a dead fish in our locker, that awkward hook-up just became the top dining hall gossip, and we seriously forgot how to actually care.

To make matters worse, we found out that men cheat on us a lot, and John McCain almost didn’t make it to tonight’s debate.

A week like this makes us want to manufacture our own boyfriend, go shopping at American Apparel, find a much younger guy to toy with, eat some candy bar brownies, and eff Jeremy Piven.

At least we learned how to survive that 8 AM class. If nothing else, we’ll be early for the end of the world.

The country is getting ready for a terrible recession. Banks are folding and getting bailed out by loans from the FED (which has federal in the name but is private). Scientists are trying to rip open space and time using the Large Hadron Collider. Someone like Sarah Palin is officially close to being involved in a presidency.

The signs are there: the world is going to end. And while I’m sure no one can get a godd*mn job right now (lord knows I can’t), we can at least look forward to the post apocalyptic job market that’ll present itself once the gaping maw of darkness spreads wide, and evil once again walks our planet.

Here are some jobs you may want to start building a resume for. Read More »