It all started in the whimsical land of Laguna Beach, where dreams and drama were born (if dreams included watching Steven juggle between Lauren and Kristen, and drama included which beach party to attend). Then the Laguna locals have moved to bigger boobs and better things, in Hollywood.  And now ‘The Hills’ begins it’s 7th and final run on Tuesday. Hold your caps folks, it’s going to be a wild ride! Kristen might get those star tattoos on her foot this time! Are you excited?!?

I am.

But besides the drama-jacked “reality,” there may be more to take from the extensions and unnaturally lit dinners than we think. I think it is important to learn from everything in life, even mistakes. And DVRing ‘The Hills’ is definitely a mistake…. that I keep on making. So in honor of our favorite guilty pleasure’s final season, the life lessons I took from ‘The Hills’: Read More »

God, I wish I was Gaga more. than. ever.

Sandra Bullock says sayonara to Jesse James.

Well, that’s one way to deal with rejection…

Another Twilight book coming soon??

PETA should really do something about this.

Watch The Hills trailer! SCANDALOUS!

"Am I smiling?"

After catching wind (note: different than breaking wind) that The Hills is dunzo after this season, I’ve been having a tough time making it through the day. Which is why I was jumping for joy when I read a little gossip about some drama on the set!! Apparently Heidi Montag decided to shake things up a bit and create some authentic dramz!

Over the weekend at a photo shoot for the show, Heidi and her jugs showed up with four bodyguards in tow. Yes, four.

I don’t even think Kirsti Alley totes around that many big men, and she is twice the size as Ms. Montag. Hell, even Chris Brown has less security and lord knows the world wants to beat the crap out of him.

I’m not sure why Heidi felt the need for so much muscle, but I imagine it has something to do with her new investment pieces. She needs one brawny man for each boob and the other two because, well, who wouldn’t pummel that plastic face if given the chance? So it’s simple – Heidi must have needed the protection. So why was Kristin Cavallari – ice princess with a star tattoo where her heart’s supposed to be – get all upset about it? Shouldn’t she want to protect her friend’s assets? Read More »

[The following post was written by Eli Sussman - an adorable boy who also happens to be the co-author of an awesome college cookbook, Freshman in the Kitchen.]

College can be the greatest place on earth… that is, until the cash starts running low. And since right after you read this you are going to head to Urban Outfitters “just to look around”, and you are bound to find that rug/lamp/’80s drinking game/hip wall art, and you just “absolutely have to have them all because they are all so cute and will go perfect in your room,” you might not be the most frugal shopper on campus.

College can become a pretty expensive place for a lot of different reasons. Now, we know you aren’t paying for drinks at the bar (ahhh… to be a girl in college…) but next week is your BFF’s b-day and then your MFF’s HY b-day (most favorite friend’s half year birthday) and you are way past making them a friendship collage. Also I’m pretty sure season two of Gossip Girl comes out on DVD soon so there are some big purchases in the near future you cannot avoid.

With all these costs racking up, the 300 person line to that cheap franchised burrito place isn’t looking too long anymore (even though you know it only tastes good after 7 Slippery Nipples) and the Golden Arches seem like the right option to squeeze every penny. But we are here to convince you of another option. It’s called cooking. For yourself. With real ingredients.

Wait… wait. C’mon, at least let me explain before you go check Perez and go watch The Bachelor choose the skanky girl with the tongue ring. Read More »

Why you gotta hate on Johnny Weir, Canada?

Ryan Cabrera: your career is officially over.

J.R. Celski (and some other Olympians) shirtless!!

Looking for the perfect parka?

Lady Gaga’s greatest revenge.

What you didn’t know about The Bachelor’s Ali.

So with the recent influx of Spiedi-bites and Guidette catfights on MTV, there is finally hope for our generation to be remembered for some old fashioned do-gooding.

MTV’s latest reality show, The Buried Life, chronicles the journey of four boys from Canada, (Ben, Duncan (<3), Jonnie and Dave) who realized that they didn’t want to die with unfulfilled lives, so they wrote out a list of things they wanted to do before they died, bought a bus (Penelope) and set out to accomplish their own “bucket lists.”  But in addition to every dream they crossed off on their lists,  they decided that they would do one thing for someone else, making it doubly fulfilling.

In the first episode (which I just watched thanks to 200 pages of reading on Monday night), the boys set out to accomplish their sixth list item: party at the Playboy mansion (they are guys after all).  Two of the guys dress up like Oompa Loompas and attempt to get in through a cake and Ben dressed up as soccer star Christiano Ronaldo to try and get in.  The mission was successful as far as the boys were concerned, but not just because they got to party with some scantily clad lady friends.  They also (through some serious street performing skills) got a new computer for an LA grade school in need. Read More »

It looks like those New Jersey Italians aren’t the only ones with prosciutto beef about MTV’s latest trainwreck, Jersey Shore. Another MTV “star” has his boxers in a bunch about the newest reality series to sweep America off its feet. Yes, everyone’s favorite ass-hat, Spencer Pratt, isn’t so happy with all the attention those overly tanned guidos have been getting.

“Spencer can feel the press moving away from him and on to the cast members of ‘Jersey Shore.’ He is desperate to keep his 15 minutes going. It’s all he has and blames MTV for paying more attention to the new show than to his old show,” laughs a TV executive.

And he should be mad. A tanner, stronger, 6-packier loser has taken his place as MTV’s biggest douche: the one and only Situation. Or has he? I mean, it’s really hard to tell which moron is a bigger dbag, but let’s try. Read More »

So there it was: the season finale of The Hills.

You’d think MTV would give Kristin a little more time to pack up her things and get out of the house they rented for her, but no; they pushed her out on the last day of filming. Where will she go? I mean, I know Justin offered her to “check out my spot” (which, in my Justin Bobby dictionary, translates to “crash with me”), but I imagine that isn’t up to her lavish, beachfront living standards.

I don’t know about you, but I think there’s a reason The Hills has never shot at Justin Bobby’s house. I’m picturing a dark, musty basement studio with leather and hair product everywhere. And a shower that’s never been used.

But if Kristin didn’t go there, what other options does she have? She can’t go back to her dad/yoga-stepmom’s house in Laguna – MTV was clearly paying for that one, too. And they probably packed up their protein shakes months ago. The only other person she’s got to turn to is Stacie and I’m pretty sure she lives in the backroom of that nasty bar she used to work at.

I guess Kristin better hope and pray that the ratings of this show didn’t drop low enough to end it. Homegirl needs an MTV house or she’ll be shacking up at casa de Brody and Jayde. Read More »

I’ll be honest: sometimes it’s hard to find stuff to write about from The Hills. Something new, at least. And last night’s episodes was one of the most difficult yet, due to the fact that every conversation had was just a recap of the one in the scene before it.

Take Kristin and Brody, for example. She tells him that Jayde texted her and wants to meet up. Then the next scene is Brody shooting pool and telling Frankie and that other hottie that Jayde texted Kristin and wants to meet up.

MTV expects me to work with that kind of crap?

Anyways, since there wasn’t really much to cover last night I decided to break the episode down into a fun little list. So here 10 notes/thoughts/things from last night’s episode of The Hills.

1. Heidi tells her therapist, “I think [Spencer] wants kids and he doesn’t know it yet,” then reveals her plan to trick him into being a dad. Which might be the scariest thing of all time. I don’t think Spencer wants kids. I don’t think Spencer can handle kids. And I know for sure society can’t handle a mini Speidi. Please stay on your birth control, Heidi. Please

2. Jayde should be in Twilight. Or Lord of the Rings. I’m sure the girl can’t act, but at least that black hair/pasty skin combo would fit in somewhere.

3. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I never understand why all these people meet up at bars and restaurants to have their fights. When Kristin and Jayde met up to pull each other’s hair and call each other names, Kristin ordered a perfectly delicious Gray Goose and soda but called Jayde a “huge bitch” and stormed about before it even arrived. What a waste of good vodka! Read More »

Which bitch wants him more?

The main reason any of us watch The Hills is because the lives of all those pretty people in L.A. are more exciting and dramatic than our own. They go out to fabulous clubs, they eat at the best restaurants, they drive the nicest cars and they hang out with the prettiest people.

And they get into bitch brawls at the bar.

But, to be honest, the big fight between Jayde and Kristin last night at The Playhouse was nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in real life. Not to mention, I’m getting quite sick of The Playhouse. Why is that the only bar they’re going to? What happened to Le Deux? H-Wood? That sh*thole Stacie used to work in?

Anyways, I understand fighting over Brody Jenner – he’s a fine piece of man-meat – but fight like you mean it, women. Throw some punches! Pull some hair! Break a bottle over someone’s head! (Sorry, I’ve just always wanted to see that in real life.) Do something instead of using words that you know MTV is gonna have to bleep out.

We all know that Jayde knows how to get in a real bar brawl; she did it just last month with Joe Francis. Why couldn’t she bring some of that heat last night? Seriously, what does a girl have to do to get some real drama around here? You better step up your game, Kristin Cavallari and co., or I’m gonna have to knock you out of my rotation to make room on my DVR for The Ruins. At least I’ll see some blood. Lord knows I’d rather see that than Brody’s mom’s thong hanging out of her jeans. (Didn’t notice it? Lucky…)

But it’s all OK. Despite the lack of chick fighting (and an unfortunate view of old-woman booty), there were two very key moments that made last night’s episode of The Hills worth watching: Read More »