I’ll be the first to admit that we females are fickle, fickle creatures. Men have a hard time (whether that be their lack of capability or common sense) figuring us out on many levels. What we really mean when we say we’re “fine,” what we really want out of a relationship, etc., are generally difficult for men to decipher.

However, one thing men should never have to figure out is what makes you ooh-la-la in bed. And ladies, we need to help them out by never faking an orgasm. Why, you ask?

By faking an orgasm when you’re in bed with a significant other (or just a hump hump booty call), you’re allowing the guy to think he’s doing everything correctly, when, in fact, he’s not pushing your, er, happy buttons. While females would always know if a guy is faking it (or so I like to believe) and it’s easier for ladies to get away with it, we need to focus on getting ours too, not just pleasing the man.

If you are impossible to please, don’t care about having an orgasm, or simply too bored to let the madness go on, faking it is still not the answer. Read More »

The other day a friend of mine counted the amount of times I used the word douche. The number was shockingly high, something like 20 times within a half an hour. This got me thinking….I was either very irrate about something and was on a ranting rampage, OR there are many types of doucheness. So, I thought I would break it down so you too can put to use this fantastic word.

Webster’s Definition of DOUCHE:

The true definition of douche is: a jet or current of water, sometimes with a dissolved medicating or cleansing agent, applied to a body part, organ, or cavity for medicinal or hygienic purposes. or; to use a douche or douches; undergo douching. Vaginal douches may consist of water, water mixed with vinegar, or even antiseptic chemicals.

Okay. FIRST OF ALL…Does that sound painful to anyone else? Have any of you actually tried this? I’d really like to know.

My Definition of a DOUCHE:

Here’s the thing, douche has its varieties and I’ll have to break them down for you.

RICH DOUCHE:

The rich douche usually will do something like order your meal for you at dinner while saying something patronizing about what color lipstick you’re wearing and how it clashes with your dress. Rich douches usually say snide things about poor douches and visa versa. He most likely has Daddy’s money or Daddy’s company, and has dated his fair share of waify blondes wearing pearls. The rich douche would never enjoy a divey pub or roll around in the grass with a Labrador, instead he’ll have a greyhound and think pubs are for Irish invalids. Take him to The Palm or he’ll just go hungry. Read More »