Has anyone else noticed that most TV shows we watch now don’t have theme songs like they did in “the old days?” I completely forgot that TV show theme songs even ever existed. I remember singing along with my sisters as we waited patiently for our favorite shows to start. As soon as we heard the first notes of the telltale opening song, something magical happened.

Listening to these theme songs again, I’m reminded of the age I was at when I watched all of these shows. Rugrats? Eight. The OC? Fifteen (I watched them all on DVD way after the show was over.) Here are a few theme songs that will forever remind us of our favorite shows from the past…

What are your favorite TV show theme songs? Tell us in the comments! 

Ashley is a freshman at George Washington University and she’s majoring in “Overanalyzing Situations” and International Affairs. Follow her on twitter @ashleybrooks25

[Lead image via Andi Berger/Shutterstock]

It’s official. It’s summertime.

Okay, so I know that technically it’s not officially summertime, that’s not until sometime in June, but for us college girls classes are over, finals are done, and summer is in session. And there’s lots of reasons to be happy about that (like the three bs: beaches, bikinis, and boys), but there are also a few downsides to the start of summer. Like the end of good TV, and the return of really, really bad reality TV. (Speaking of, when does Bachelor Pad start anyway?)

But at least they go out on a high note, you know? Those season finale cliffhangers are a killer, but they also make the show memorable and make sure we keep thinking about their show even when it’s not on. And it works. In fact, I’m still thinking about a few of my favorites.

10. Sex and the City Season Four. After one last perfect New York City night Carrie and Mr. Big part ways, with Mr. Big planning to move to Napa California, and Miranda gives birth to her baby. It’s the end of an era for these ladies, and it was for me too. Where would Sex and the City be without Mr. Big?

9. The OC Season Two. Just when we think Ryan and Marissa are finally going to get it together it all gets shot to hell. Literally. By Marissa herself. She didn’t mean to, though. She was just trying to save Ryan. But will that save Marissa Cooper from doing the time for her crime? Only time would tell.

8. Felicity Season One.  Felicity. Remember when we all thought college was going to be like that? Finishing out our freshman year by trying to decide between two great guys: Noel or Ben? The questioned haunted us the entire summer. Oh, to be that cab driver. The guy with all the answers.

7.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Five. Buffy died. Buffy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer died. Before this moment viewers didn’t even think it was possible for someone to die when their name was in the title of the show. Lucky for us it didn’t stick, though.

6. Gossip Girl Season One. Dan and Serena split, and as if that weren’t depressing enough, disaster strikes twice. Minutes after Chuck and Blair finally get their acts together Chuck gets distracted by a leggy blonde and it all goes to hell? Cut to Blair flying off with a cute flight attendant and Chuck returning to his whoring ways. Ugh.

5. Vampire Diaries Season One. Damon almost dies in a fire, but is saved at the last minute thanks to Stephan, Bonnie, and Elena. An emotional wreck, Damon goes to Elena and pours his heart out. The two share a sweet moment and a hot kiss. It’s only then that we find out it wasn’t Elena at all. But Katherine. Damn doppelgangers.

4. Gilmore Girls Season Four. Lorelei and Luke finally get their four years in the making kiss and we’re left to figure out what that means over the summer. But the even bigger cliffhanger? Rory losing her virginity to her married ex-boyfriend and first love, Dean. I know, I was rooting for Jess too.

3.  Friends Season Four. Rachel flies out to London to stop Ross’s wedding, only to realize at the last minute that she couldn’t do that to him. Resigned to loving him from afar Rachel stays for the wedding. Only to hear Ross say her name instead of Emily’s name. Uhoh.

2. Boy Meets World Season Five. What? Did you think that the moment Topanga gave up Yale and proposed to Cory at their high school graduation wouldn’t make the cut? Actually, it was one of the first scenes that came to my mind. Mr. Feeny announced them as the class of 1998 (God, we’re old) but Corny and Topanga remain seated. They were shocked into silence. And so were we.

1. Grey’s Anatomy Season Two. Meredith and Derek reunite for some slutty mistress action in the on call room. Denny dies. And Alex proves his undying devotion to Izzie. The real cliffhanger, though? Meredith standing between McDreamy and McVet unable to make a choice.

What are your favorite season finale cliffhangers? Which finales are you most looking forward to this year? Which one drove you craziest so far?

So we all know that lately pop culture has been a little bit obsessed with vampires. True Blood. Twilight. The Vampire Diaries. It’s everywhere we look and a part of everything we do. But we’re not just obsessed with vampires. We’re obsessed with vampire boyfriends. Edward Cullen in particular. An as someone who spends way too much time in the fictional world I have to step back, and ask…really? I mean come on!

Edward Cullen is not the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s obsessive, overbearing, and would find great satisfaction in tearing open his girlfriend’s veins and drinking her blood. This is the guy that makes you swoon? Well not me. He’s not my idea of the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s not even close. Who is, you ask? Well I’ve compiled a list to answer just that question (and put off any of the more important tasks I have yet to accomplish today). Below are my top ten fictional boyfriends, all of whom are real flesh and blood, albeit fictional, men that don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

10. Mike Chang. You know, Tina’s boyfriend from Glee. Not only is he a football player but he has swoon worthy dance moves and even swoon worthier abs.

9. Flynn Rider. The last Disney prince. The one from Tangled. Yes I’ve seen Tangled. What’ is it to you? A little sarcastic, a little funny, and very much the reluctant hero. He’s definitely not as boring as the Disney princes before him and so for that reason alone he makes the list.

8. Nathaniel Archibald. Okay, so I don’t have any legitimate reasons for this one seeing as how he’s a manwhore both literally and figuratively, he’s cheated on almost all of his girlfriends, and he’s hooked up with every female regular besides Lily van der Woodsen (as far as we know), but… he’s so pretty!

7. Seth Cohen. Yes, the geeky guy from the O.C. made it onto the list, mostly because I’ve always had the biggest crush on Adam Brody, but also because that upside down, in the rain, Spiderman kiss that he and Summer share is one of my favorite TV kisses of all time.

6. Cappie. Casey’s on again off again boyfriend from Greek is a favorite of mine. Yes, he’s childish and has a bit of a Peter Pan complex but he’s also a genuinely nice guy. And when Casey asked him where he wanted to be in ten years he said “I want to be with you.” Sigh.  If only.

5. Chandler Bing. The class clown. The commitment-phobe. The one everyone thought was gay. Okay, so that’s all true. But he’s also the guy who overcame all of that and fell in love with his best friend. Plus, he looks really cute with glasses, don’t you think?

4. Aiden Shaw. I was a Carrie and Mr. Big fan. I always have been and I always will be. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate just how awesome of a boyfriend Aiden really was. He forgave Carrie for cheating on him, redid her apartment, and his voice had this sort of twang to it that just makes me want to watch him speak. Shirtless.

3. Dan Humphrey. Serena van der Woodsen’s loyal Brooklyn boyfriend. Dan gets a bit of a bad rep with the Upper East Siders but personally I think he’s a great guy. Cute. Smart. Funny. And he has that whole tortured artist thing down perfectly. What’s a girl gotta do be his muse?

2. Alex Karev. This poor guy has yet to have a relationship that doesn’t end in his girlfriend going crazy, dying, or moving across the country, and I think that’s terrible because Alex deserves better. He’s a good guy, deep, deep, deep down, who will always be therefore his girl when she needs him. Give him a lasting love interest, Shonda Rhimes.

1. Pacey Witter. Yes, the sidekick from Dawson’s Creek is taking the top spot and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. Maybe it’s the swooning pre-teen in me but when I think of my favorite fictional boyfriend, I think of Pacey Witter. With Joey, Andie, or even that other chick he dates in the later episodes when he can’t have Joey, Pacey Witter was a great boyfriend. In my eyes this boy can do no wrong. And plus, you know, he’s adorable.

In case you couldn’t tell based on this list I have a type. It’s called tall, dark, and a little bit dorky and/or dangerous. So if you know anyone that fits the bill, send him my way, okay?

Who are your dream fictional boyfs?

Luckily, here are a few suggestions to help you chill out over winter break:

Find the Sexy Zones. Because sex is an aaaamaaaaaziiiiingggggg stress reliever. And by sexy zones, we don’t mean the local bar or the location of next week’s holiday party…although, those aren’t bad places to start!

Get Sparked. Perfect for the Big hearted who are short on time, start micro-volunteering in minutes! No, this isn’t a joke, it is actual volunteer experience that fits quite nicely into those grad school applications.

Be (Herb) Happy. Word is that marijuana use is growing higher and Miley Cyrus is getting high on a new drug called salvia! (Note: remember, we’re simply suggesting these activities, whether you choose to read or participate is up to you!)

Be a Beach Bum. Hop into some sweats, grab a pint of peppermint ice cream and dust off those seasons on DVD of The O.C…by the way, where ARE they now? Well, they aren’t sitting at our ideal Golden Globes table this year, that’s for sure.

Go on Dates. Did that guy from high school finally grow up and suddenly become attractive? Who cares, we all know you did. There are certain people that every girl should date before graduating, so if you’re a senior, you don’t have any time to waste.

Happy Vacation from College Candy! And if you actually do find yourself freaking out or sad of pissed off over what should be a relaxing and well-deserved vacation, don’t worry. There’s a Glee song for that.

Glamour had listed their top six movie kisses of all time. And I have to say, I was a little disappointed.

The kisses they chose were certainly swoon worthy, but I didn’t think all of them deserved a top spot. And there were other kisses that were most definitely missing. Lots of kisses missing. Kisses that needed to be mentioned. So I selflessly spent hours and hours poring over YouTube video after YouTube video to compose this list for you, my top ten movie kisses of all time.

10. Jack and Rose, Titanic. Leo has come a long way since his days of freezing to death alongside a glacier, but I don’t think our generation will ever let him forget his days as a teen heart drop. This kiss, though not particularly impressive, sums up our teeny bopper days perfectly. It’s nostalgic and sweet and we’ll never let go.

9. Blane and Andie, Pretty in Pink. This list wouldn’t be complete without at least one Brat Pack shout out. And for me at least, it couldn’t be anything other than this movie. That final scene in the parking lot when Jack and Andie reunite at the senior prom after a huge fight just epitomizes everything I love and hate about teen angst and chick flicks. It’s cheesy and incredibly cliché but I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish something like that had happened at my high school prom.

8. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, Pride and Prejudice. Maybe it’s just the literature geek in me, but I find the kiss between Darcy and Elizabeth at the end of the 2007 adaption of Pride and Prejudice to be so romantic. It’s not particularly passionate or steamy, but it’s intimate all the same. It’s a kiss viewers have been waiting for throughout the entire movie. The buildup-from the angry rain arguments, to the subtle hand holding, to the forehead touching makes it totally worthy it.

7. Edward and Vivian, Pretty Woman. This one is here more for the dialogue that accompanies the kiss than the kiss itself, but I still felt like it needed to be mentioned. Richard Gere’s character has just climbed up a fire escape to get to Julia Roberts even though he’s desperately afraid of heights. He reaches Vivian and asks, “So what happens after her climbs up and rescues her?”  She says, “She rescues him right back.”  Then they kiss.

6. Edward and Bella, New Moon. I debated putting this one on here, really I did. Because there’s just so much “OMGz” drama that comes along with anything Twilight related. It reminds me of screaming teenage girls and Robert Pattinson’s hair, and Kristen Stewart’s inability to smile (and lots of articles I read in my feminism class last semester). But I put all of that aside, and I’m asking you to do the same. Because that kiss they shared at the end of New Moon, that was hot.

5. Lady and Tramp, Lady and the Tramp. I can never hear the lyrics to “That’s Amore” without thinking of these two. Just the sweetness and innocence of these two little dogs sharing meatballs and slurping on the same piece of spaghetti is too adorable for words. Cutest kiss ever.

4. Peter and Mary Jane, Spiderman. If it’s iconic enough for Seth and Summer to reenact on The OC, then its iconic enough to make this list. Upside down and in the rain, that kiss had every girl wanting to meet Toby McGuire in a dark alley.

3. Rhett and Scarlett, Gone With the Wind. Plastered on every movie poster ever made for this movie, this one is a classic. Against a bright red and orange sunset, Scarlett kisses Rhett just before he goes off to war. These two may not have a happy ending, but this kiss almost makes that worth it.

2. Fred and Holly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I apologize to those of you who are not fans of Audrey, but this kiss just had to be here. It had to. Its Audrey and George, looking fabulous in their trench coats, as rain comes down around them and they scream about not belonging to anyone at all. Then, all of a sudden they’re professing their undying love for one another. And kissing. This is the stuff of romance, folks.

1. Noah and Allie, The Notebook. I tried to be objective when ranking these kisses. But before I even sat down to write this, I knew Noah and Allie were going to be my number one. When I think of movie kisses, this is what I think of.  In my opinion nothing can quite compare. I mean first off, it’s raining, and second of all they’re fighting, and third, these two have been pining away for each other for years.  All that pent up emotion, and anger and passion finally explode. In the best way possible. They just can’t be beat. Period. The end. Cue the hot sex.

I don’t know about you ladies, but Sixpence None the Richer’s Kiss Me is on repeat in my head right now. And I’m just going to go with it…and maybe head over to YouTube and check out some of those movie clips again.

Sigh.

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]

It’s the start of a new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back a fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like the first day of classes or trying to figure out if that boy is crushin’ too. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

The boy you love just broke your heart, so your girlfriends decide that drinking is in order. Because nothing numbs the pain quite like a few shots of SoCo. Together with your roommates, you pick out a super hot outfit (consisting of some combination of low cut top/push up bra), take a few pre-gaming shots and head out the door to either “show him what he’s missing,” or “forget about that jerk.”

The night is perfect: you dance, you drink (a lot), and you even find a cute boy to flirt with in the corner.

Then, obvi, the relentless craving for breadsticks and marinara takes over and you and the girls head home for the Late Night Special from your favorite pizza place.

You make your way to your room to change before the food arrives and are suddenly reminded of just how depressed you are. Why doesn’t he love me? you ask yourself. What is wrong with me? Maybe if I just send him an email and tell him how I feel he will change his mind and want to be with me.

You sit down at your desk.

You turn on John Hiatt’s, “Have a Little Faith in Me,” or the “love songs” channel on Pandora.

You open your email, hoping deep down inside that he has already sent you one, that he realizes he made a big mistake, that he too is sitting at home crying to the soothing sounds of The Fray. That he still loves you.

He hasn’t.
Your heart sinks.

As the mascara stained tears streak your face and form a puddle on your desk, you start writing your own:

hi. i got drinks and i lovre you. i dont know why you hate meeeee. i lobve yoiu. i want to eat breadsticlks but im too sad czu i love you.

At this point the pizza has arrived and your roommates storm into your room, pizza box in hand, to find you weeping silently over your laptop as you type away. Snot is dripping from your nose and you wipe it with your bare arm just before it hits your upper lip. You don’t care. You just keep typing and crying and really connecting with the sad lyrics blaring out of your laptop speakers.

If you are lucky, your roommates get to you before you hit the send button. If you are not quite as lucky (or a really fast typer), it is only a matter of time until the email is opened and any shred of post break-up dignity is lost. But until then, there is pizza. And breadsticks. And unyielding drunken hope that he’s thinking the same things you just wrote, he was just too distraught to put them in an email yet.

A hope which inevitably dies the minute you wake up in the morning and realize what you’ve done.

Yeah, you’re not alone; we’ve all been there before. Many times.
Just be grateful at least you didn’t wake up with a full slice of pizza smashed between your keys and your screen.

There are some things you learn in life (and in textbooks) that you never forget.

We went to the moon in 1969.
Plants live by converting sunlight into energy through the process of photosynthesis.
Cows have four stomachs.

All of those things are important to know if you want to pass that middle school test, but when it comes to the real stuff – the life lessons – textbooks don’t hold a candle to TV. Yes, I’m serious.

TV – even the crappiest of the crappy reality shows – has taught me some invaluable lessons about life and the world. Things you can’t get from a 2 hour Intro to Biology lecture or a 4-credit History of English course. Below are a few of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from my nights spent on the couch, chips and salsa in hand.

One Tree Hill taught me: Never get married at 16, never shoot your brother, and never hire a hot nanny.

The Office taught me: Sometimes our superiors are inferior and we just have to deal with it.

One Big Happy Family taught me: It’s possible to be fat and happy, as long as you don’t mind breaking a chair on national television.

Teen Mom taught me: Use condoms. DUH.

The OC taught me: To give Jewish boys a chance.

Lost taught me: When you encounter a hatch, creepy cabin, or force field, do not go inside.

Friday Night Lights taught me: Explosions In The Sky always sets the mood… for football games, and for, uh, other things as well.

The Bachelor taught me: Pretty girls are crazy.

Desperate Housewives taught me: No one is off limits; not even your plumber, ex-husband, or neighbor.

How I Met Your Mother taught me: Awesome X Awesome = Awesome Squared.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson taught me: Things always sound dirtier when you say them in a British accent. “Would you like a banana?” (See??)

Late Show with David Letterman taught me: Never sleep with someone you work with… unless you’re a late night talk show host.

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien taught me: NBC sucks.

Real World taught me: Being a stereotype will actually get you far in life. If being on a reality show is considered “far.”

Friends taught me: “We were on a break” is not a valid excuse for anything.

Thank you, cable television, for guiding me through life. I don’t know where I’d be without you. And after watching Lost, I don’t even want to think about it.

Celebrity gossip has taken over the world. We are inundated with the goings-on of Hollywood A-listers (and Z-listers) everywhere we turn, so it’s no surprise that many of us find ourselves deeply connected to those we only know from afar. We get involved in their personal business like it is our own and really feel like they are a part of our lives.

Hell, I know I’m not the only one who freaked upon finding out Miley and Joe had broken up. I was really pulling for those two!

We all know that celebs are people too and that they are bound to screw up at some point (that’s the stuff we love most, isn’t it?), but there are just some screw-ups are unforgivable. Situations and decisions that leave us asking, “How could they do this to me?! How could they turn on me!?” (Yeah, it’s a little sick, but I say blame it on the cultural climate.)

Here are a few celebs that have gone from loved to loathed, without any hope of return.

Mischa Barton

The OC was probably the biggest hit since Melrose Place, and it skyrocketed Mischa Barton to stardom. We loved her. We felt for her. And when she graced the covers of tabloids (pre druggie days, of course!) we drooled over her fresh face and knack for throwing together an effortlessly chic outfit. I had such high hopes for her when The OC unfortunately came to a close; I was certain I would see Marissa reincarnated as the star of the next hit sitcom within the next couple of months. But what came instead was a series of trainwrecks that took Mischa from the top of Hollywood to the top of my most hated list. It’s simply impossible to find an ounce of love for this girl anymore, between the DUI’s and drug induced dark under eye circles. I’ve lost any hope of her making a comeback. And any love for my innocent, lovely Marissa Cooper.

Chris Brown

“Run it” and “Kiss Kiss” used to be at the top of my getting-ready playlist – perfect to get the girls amped up for a night out as we applied our makeup and pre-gamed. And his smooth dance moves and baby face didn’t hurt either. But his music just isn’t the same anymore, what with the hint of domestic abuse that now runs through it. I know that pretty much everyone on the planet has documented his downfall, so this is a bit repetitive, but he simply cannot be left off the list of celebs who have fallen out of our good graces. When it comes down to it, I’m not totally devastated. I’m upset for Rihanna’s sake, but to be honest, I always had a hard time telling him and Ne-Yo apart anyway, so I’ll just trade “Wall to Wall” for “Closer” and we’ll call it even.

Tyra Banks

She’s gorgeous (although some would beg to differ now; swimsuit shot in the tabloids anyone?), not to mention she holds the title of being the first African American woman to be on the covers of GQ, Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret. When she broke into acting she won my heart. I’ll never forget her flawless performance as Will Smith’s girlfriend on The Fresh Prince, and remember that movie where she played a Barbie come to life? Okay so she wasn’t an Oscar winner, but still, the woman was dominating. While America’s Next Top Model had it’s share of arrogant comments and almighty speeches, her downfall ultimately came when she tried to channel Oprah became a talk show host. I suppose it was a good thought, but the execution failed miserably. The production came off as a mix between Maury (Who’s my babay dadday?!) and Dr. Phil (because obviously Tyra is God and a licensed psychologist, putting her in a position to council all walks of life). Basically the show should be renamed “I Love Myself Way Too Much.” FAIL, Tyra!

Mel Gibson

An amazing actor, no denying that. He brought us “Braveheart,” “The Patriot,” and “Passion of the Christ.” And who wouldn’t include “What Women Want” in a movie night with the girls? His acting and directing career was so successful that it masked his unstable personal life for a good decade. But seriously, this guy is bat-sh*t crazy, and there’s no denying it. He’s cheating on his wife and getting girls pregnant, beating up photogs, driving drunk and walking around with one too many buttons undone. And if that doesn’t do it for you, he’s stumbling all over Hollywood giving rant after rant, many of which are directed at women (sugartits?!) and more than one which have been offensive to certain racial and religious groups (he’s not a fan of the Jews). Not even Lethal Weapon can save Mel from his spiraling downfall. I will miss his rugged-blue-eyed-dream-boy days, but now he just reminds me of those creepy over-the-hill men who give you sex eyes across the bar. Not cool, Mel. 

Jon Gosselin

I just swallowed back tears. I am ashamed to admit that I am one of the obsessively devoted Jon and Kate Plus 8 fans. I’ve seen every episode, I can distinguish all the children, and I’ve kept a frantic eye out for the family every time I visit the Outer Banks on vacation. So when I heard of this breakup, I was devastated. I’d always loved how good Jon was with the kids and really felt for him when he was constantly berated by Kate. And then they split and everything I’d ever known went right out the window. Mr. Good Dad was gone and replaced by an Ed-hardy-wearing, ear-pierced, motorcycle-riding, 20-year-old-macking douchebag.  Jon keeps blaming Kate for the paparazzi and the shameless self-promotion at their children’s expense, yet he is now attempting to leave their show in order to be on “The Divorced Dad’s Club”? Wow, Jon, that is low, even for your Ed-Hardy-clad ass. You officially are on the ballot for the Worst Dad/Husband/Human Being of The Year Award.

Do these celebs also have you shaking your head and tsk-tsk-ing (finger wag optional)? What other beloved celebrities have now made it impossible for you to show them some love?

There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of talent/rehab/Bermuda triangle.  There are a couple that have massive amounts of issues, yet refuse to disappear.  In fact, they seem to pop up everywhere, strutting around uninvited on every red carpet.  People like Bai Ling and Paris Hilton are prime examples.

More recently, we have Mischa Barton.  I gotta admit, I really do enjoy watching a mediocre TV actress fall from grace (and she fell hard!).  Oh, speaking of mediocre actresses, I think I heard the other day that Tara Reid has teamed up with the douchebag powerhouse that is Christian Audigier to design some piece of crap that I’ll certainly see all around campus.  Yay.

In light of that wonderful piece of news, I think it’s time to pair up a couple of the most washed up faces in Hollywood:  Mischa Barton and Tara Reid.

Acting
Mischa Barton was never a steller actress, let’s not lie.  She peaked in The Sixth Sense as the creepy ghost girl who barfed a lot.  The OC was a shambles, especially when she became a drug addict or whatever and then died randomly in the third season.  Has anyone seen Mischa in anything since then?  Not unless you caught one of her straight-to-DVD releases.  Yeesh.

Tara Reid is not a great actress by any means.  I did enjoy her run in American Pie (1 and 2) and the episodes of Scrubs that she appeared in were hilarious.  However, whenever I watch her in anything else, all that comes to mind is the word “sticky.”  She just looks sticky and sweaty and drunk at all times…probably because she’s always at least one of those things (I’m voting for drunk).  See: Taradise.

Point: Mischa Barton. In the realm of acting, Mischa Barton is a fail.  At least Tara Reid’s slew of vapid, slutty characters are entertaining.

Fashion
Mischa Barton wears some pretty awesome stuff.  I’ve actually opened up the style section of a magazine and seen her there (the good part of the style section, not the losers section).  She takes chances and it pays off.  Not always, though…we’ve had some pretty awful situations involving vintage items, mini dresses and feathers.  Her foray into headbands has also gotten pretty interesting…

Tara Reid has no style.  Her “style,” as it were, consists of crop tops, glittery things, and denim mini skirts.  I certainly won’t be forgetting the exposed boob incident for a while.  She also seems to be anti-bra, even after her boob job.

Point: Tara Reid. It’s no contest, really.

(Un)classiness
Mischa Barton has been pretty unclassy lately, what with her boozin’ and partyin’.  At least she checked into rehab (finally!) after one too many shots of her looking like a certifiably crazy person with a really puffy face.  Oh, and let’s not forget her 2007 arrest for drunk driving (without a license).  Classy, girl.

Tara Reid just oozes class skankiness.  That girl is an a bikini 90% of the time, swigging something from a bottle (but not eating…never eating).  She’s done her time in rehab, but her reputation as a boozehound isn’t leaving her anytime soon.  See again: Taradise.

Point: Tara Reid. Not classy.  Anti-classy.

Love Life
Mischa Barton dates musicians.  Seriously – if you’re in an indie rock band and are based somewhere in the UK, you probably have a pretty good chance of getting with Mischa Barton (lucky you).  That is, when she gets out of rehab.

Tara Reid has dated every football player ever (only a slight exaggeration) and a generous sprinkling of other men have decorated her arm over the years.  I guess guys really do go for those party-girl types.  I’m gonna go get my drink on and test this theory out…

Point: Tara Reid. Maybe if she worked more and spent less time romping around random beaches she’d be less of a whore.  Maybe.

Gossip Presence
Mischa Barton has been huge in the gossip columns lately: is she suicidal? Will she still have a role on the new CW show after her stint in rehab?  Where is she getting all of these headbands?  Very important stuff.

Tara Reid really isn’t doing much of anything and it shows:  she isn’t in any gossip column.  When she does appear, it’s mostly following comments that are surprised to find she still exists (but not at all surprised that she’s sloppy and drunk and…sticky).

Point: Mischa Barton. She is definitely being talked about, what with this whole rehab/new TV show thing going on.  Tara…only wishes she had something newsworthy about her.

Celebretard Prize Goes To: Tara Reid. Just bow out peacefully and go seclude yourself on some beach so you don’t accidentally brush up against anyone and rub off your fake tan/greasiness.

Heba Salama (a female Jaba the hut), Brady Vilcan and Vicky Vilcan (die bitch!) are three of the meanest, most evil fatties I have ever seen in my life. I would be pissy too if that was my name was Vicky Vilcan – sound like a bad WWE wrestling name. Season after season, week after week, I have watched this show and there has always been a commeradery among participants. Of course it is a game and there will always be some animosity, but I never imagined it would turn into this. Literally, other people on the show were driven to tears by the Terrible Three. But then it came to me, they are not bitter and angry because they are fat – they are fat because they are bitter and angry.

To make matters worse, Ed Salama coming back into the game makes them now the Fat Foursome. As if the shows ratings weren’t suffering enough from the evil alliance, they have just lost one more.

The Biggest Loser – you have lost me. I am done. Please accept my resignation. Some producer thought it would be a great idea to posture the mean fatties against the desparate-to-lose-weight fatties, and it has back fired. Not sure whether NBC thought the Jerry Springer demographic was one that they needed to tap into, but I am a part of about 30 girls at UPENN who are revolting. The show is no longer a motivation, but another trashy, bitter, reality TV show.

Brady was eliminated, which was nice – but too little too late. So sad.