Every week I count backwards from ten. I know, I’m kind of a big deal. Usually these countdowns have a theme like which phrases really grind my gears (“grind my gears” should be mentioned) or how I’m still effing sober, despite the fact that I could really go for a dirty martini right now.

I know it’s early, stop judging.

This week, in light of the ever-riveting Emmys, I’ve decided to countdown the ten primetime ladies that I wish I could be in real life. Most of them are from currently aired shows, but of course I had to let some of my canceled favorites slip by.

10. Cuddy – House
Who wouldn’t love to work with the ever lovable Dr. House? Cuddy is a complete non-pushover HBIC (look it up) who always looks fierce. And her hair is never out of place! Unlike that awful Cameron. Barf.

9. Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development
Why did this show get canceled? Why? I hope one day to be Lucille when I’m a “Gangy,” dirty martini in hand and Chanel skirt suits never out of place. Hopefully I’ll be slightly less mentally damaging to my family, though. Slightly.

8. Heidi Klum – Project Runway
The only non-fictional character on the list. This one’s a no brainer. Except I’m not sure how I’d go home to Seal every night.

7. Pam – The Office
I’m not a huge Pam fan. In fact, I was totally Team Karen while she was on the show. But, she has Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and that’s all I need. Read More »

So many award shows, so little time.

First the MTV VMAs and now the Primetime Emmys!

While the actual show is sorta boring, the Emmy red carpet is one of the best of the year. We love to see what Jenna Fischer looks like when she’s not donning dowdy Pam Beasly clothes. And who doesn’t want to see Patrick Dempsey in a tux? Mmmm mmmm good.

Since we’ve got nothing else to do on a Sunday night (besides that 175 pages of reading for history), we thought we’d watch the Red Carpet show with you. Starting at 6pm EST we’ll be live-blogging it all with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic on the E! Emmy preshow.

So order some Thai delivery, grab your laptop and watch with us! We’re sure there won’t be any Kanye moments, but we can guarantee someone will be wearing something equally as scandalous.

Get that studying done now and we’ll meet you back here at 6!

When real-world guys just don’t do it for us (like when they string us along and make us think they want something only to send us an IM saying they’re not looking for something serious….Sorry, I’m bitter), we love to escape to our favorite TV shows and live vicariously through the ladies with great boyfriends, even with all the baggage and dramz. There’s just something about leading men that makes us go crazy with adoration/jealousy/excitement/OMG-THEY-FINALLY-GOT-TOGETHER!

Oh, and the guys on TV are usually so. damn. cute.

But with all the amazing TV shows out there and their equally amazing hunks, how do you pick one to swoon over? I know, it’s a tough choice, but this guide might help you decide which boy is right for you:

Warning: Possible spoilers ahead if you’re not caught up with these shows! Read More »

What will come of our favorite TV couple!?

After three entire months of reruns, and crappy MTV-I-need-a-girlfriend-and-a-life reality shows, I am more than ready for the new fall lineup, which starts this week!

In addition to our old favorites whose finales left us on the edge of our couches with mouths open and ice cream dripping on our PJs, there are a slew of new shows that are totally worth tuning into this fall.

We know it’s hard to get back into your nightly TV schedules, so we complied a guide for the must-see fall TV! Read More »

While flipping through the channels last night during primetime, I discovered the real reason why our favorite shows go off the air during the summer: to make way for the sh*tshow that is summer television, which leaves us begging for The Office and House come September.

It’s the perfect advertising strategy: cut off the supply of good shows, and the viewers will demand that the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy be moved up several weeks. But it’s absolute torture for the rest of us.

That is not to say all summer TV is bad. True Blood and Mad Men are perhaps two of the greatest shows on television, period, despite the fact that they premiere during the summer. But take a look the other night’s TV listings, and you’ll want to cringe along with me: America’s Got Talent, Big Brother, More To Love? Nothing even halfway decent to watch! Read More »

Nominations for the 61st Emmy Awards were announced today and I’m excited.  Not only do I have a degree of expertise in this particular area (I watch a LOT of TV), but I find that the Emmy Awards are even more bitchy than the Oscars…and that pleases me.  Also, this particular awards show validates all my time spent on my couch (and youtube, hulu, etc.) being a lazy jerk and watching TV.  I can say I was “researching.”  Yeah.  Researching.

My “researching,” as it were, has lead me to spot a couple snubs and surprises in this year’s crop of nominations.  The first (and most important) surprise is the acting and series categories were expanded to hold more contenders.  This is awesome because shows (that I adore) that aren’t normally included now have the chance at major awards.  This is not awesome because now I will have a major identity crisis during the actual awards show.  For example, Family Guy has gotten a nomination for best comedy series.  That puts the show up against others like The Office, 30 Rock, Flight of the Conchords and more.  Well…crap.  I love all of those.  WTF am I supposed to do now??

The reality series category held more shockers.  As in, no Jon & Kate Plus 8?? No Real Housewives?  Does the world hold no meaning any more?! Those shows are some of the best on TV – how do those Emmy people not realize that? Sure, Jon and Kate Plus Drama…and Ed Hardy is getting a little annoying, but don’t you want to see who went with who to the awards show?

And what Kate would do to dress up that hair? Read More »

Lately, it feels as if I’m in a Samuel Beckett play. With four weeks to go until I graduate from high school and hardly anything worthwhile to do, I find myself stuck in a waiting game. My school days are drawn-out and boring as anything; the highlights of my days are the art house films we’re watching in French and the various incarnations of dodgeball my gym teacher keeps thinking up. I keep looking at the calendar each day, and although my parents tell me the weeks will fly by quickly, graduation could not be farther away in my mind. And not to mention freshman move-in day, which seems like light years away.

I have, however, found a few things to keep me occupied until graduation. It’s not much, but at least it’s preventing me from losing my mind from anxious waiting: Read More »

Whenever I’m feeling lonely I do one of two things:

1. I put on sweats, grab a blanket and settle in front of my couch for the day/night/month.
2. I eat a box of Oreos smothered in peanut butter.

Ok, I’ll be honest – I do both. And usually polish off the jar of pb with a spoon.

I used to think that those nights made me feel better because of the intense sugar rush all that quality programming (read: Food Network challenges) distracted me from my personal issues, but a new study is saying that watching TV actually cures loneliness.

According to a series of studies performed at the University at Buffalo and Miami University of Ohio, people feel personally connected to the characters they watch on TV, so much so that it is like they are actually a part of whatever is going on week after week. These “relationships” fulfill them (much like my Oreo/pb combo fulfills me) and their need for personal contact.

So, basically, my long stints in front of the TV take away my loneliness not because they are distracting me from it, but because I feel as if I am right there with Bobby Flay cooking up a 6 course meal with a crazy secret ingredient in 60 minutes. And we are totally BFF.

I can sorta see the truth in this – lord knows I talk about LC and Audrina like we are all living together and crushing on the Brodester – but it all seems so sad. Do people really think that they are part of Blair Waldorf’s latest scheme? Do they really stop questioning the fact that they have 9 cats and a crazy knitting hobby because they feel so close to Pam and Jim on The Office? Read More »

April Fool’s Day is just days away, which means there is little time to plan some much needed pranks. We’ve all got important things like midterms, meetings, internships, and beer pong tournaments to catch up on, but that’s no excuse. Everyone needs to let loose and plan at least a few good pranks, because it’s one of the few days of the year where we can act like a complete a-hole and get away with it.

Believe me, you will regret it if you don’t at least attempt something. Can’t come up with anything clever? Try these bad boys on for size…

iPhone Application Hit your friends where it hurts: their iPhones. Anyone who has one will agree that their phone embodies all that is awesome in this world. Lucky for you, Apple has easy to access applications that will put the fear of god into iPhone lovers everywhere. If the “cracked” application or “iFart mobile” don’t suit your fancy, try making your own.

Naked Hunks Mug This is a magical mug. You see, when you put hot liquid in the “Naked Hunks Mug” his itty-bitty banana hammock disappears. Really, its a treat for everyone involved. Read More »

   OR  

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Ex-boyfriend calls out of the blue (at 3 am).

Although it would be mighty enjoyable to deny your calls during daylight hours, I just couldn’t muster up the proper amount of excitement about ignoring you as I was attempting to sleep. At 3 am. As most (okay some) college students are doing on Wednesday nights. It was, in fact, incredibly irritating to listen to my phone vibrating violently until it buzzzzed right off my nightstand, unplugged itself from my charger and died early the next morning, preventing me from whiling away my classes with interesting texts and Facebook stalking.

It seems that you still find ways to annoy the sh*t out of me, even technologically! Your call was especially appreciated by my new (and way better) boyfriend, who happened to be sleeping next to me and was quite frankly a little pissed off for the entire next day due to sleep deprivation and extreme annoyance with you. The only consolation I got from your obnoxious ass was the touching voicemail you left me (I believe you were crying) slurring on and on about how great I am. Well, I think it’s a little too late for that, mister, and so does everyone else who listened to it (aka 48 of my sorority sisters with a tendency to gossip)–although they did get a great laugh out of listening to your blubbering for 3 minutes. Read More »