For some reason, all the men I encounter lately consider awkward to be the new hot thing in the art of pick-up lines. I’m not sure who these work on, or if they really do, ever, but something must be inspiring people to come up with gems like the following. Maybe it’s that crappy Pick Up Artist?

1.“You intimidate me because you’re [insert your ethnicity here].” Hi, try responding to that—when you’re clearly not interested—without sounding like a complete racist. I deserve a drink from the bartender just for being made to feel that uncomfortable, thanks.

2. “You look like you should be on that show So You Think You Can Dance.” Caveat here is, if you are not dancing in any way, shape, or form. I’m wearing shorts and 4-inch heels, these aren’t exactly my dancing shoes, but thanks? Read More »

If a guy wearing a big furry hat, black nail polish, and eyeliner thicker than yours walked up to you in a bar and threw insults your way, would you suddenly become weak-kneed and fall into his arms?

Me either.

But apparently, a lot of women do. Which is why there’s a new show on VH1 called The Pick-Up Artist, starring one of the worst dressed men I’ve ever seen in my life, Mystery.

Yes. That’s the name he wants the world to call him.

Evidently, Mystery (God, it’s so hard to type that) is one of the best Pick-Up Artists in the world (How was this decided? Was there a Pick-Up Artist Olympics?), and he wants to share his tips and tricks with a bunch of viginy losers of national television. Mystery guarantees he will change these men’s lives, while making them irresistible to the ladies. Read More »