Ah, the theme party. The chance for college students to mix things up for the night….or yet another opportunity to dress up in something slutty. Theme parties are an essential part of college life and you can’t graduate without attending at least one (hundred). But after four (or more, if you’re lucky) years on a college campus, there are certain theme parties that just get old. Really old. Wrinkly, saggy skin old. They’re cliche, they’re annoying, they’re the ones you go to freshman year and, if you’re smart, you never go to again.

So pack up the slutty pencil skirts and white wife beaters, people, because here are 9 theme parties you won’t be indulging in any time soon. (Editor’s Note: That is until you graduate and crave a crazy college party to take you back to the glory days. Sigh.)

Office Hoes and Exec Bros
Also commonly known as CEO and Corporate Hoes.  This theme, most often the idea of horny frat boys nationwide, plays on common sexual fantasies and is their way of forcing girls to look like sluts. Freshman year, it’s fun and a great excuse to wear a black bra under a white button down. But by senior year, we’re way too close to the real world and you couldn’t pay us to put on business attire since we’ll soon be wearing it everyday for the rest of our careers. That being said, I’m assuming that women are expected to wear pants along with their blouses in the real world…

White Trash
It’s fun to step out of our college bubbles for a night and embrace the lives and styles of the people of Walmart. You know, wife beaters, teen pregnancy, tramp stamps, and cut-off jean shorts. Then you hit the bars and people begin confusing you for creepy local townies and the fun wears off. Quickly.

Lingerie Party
Yet again, another excuse to wear slutty clothes (because there can never be too many). But for those of us ever wanting to get employed, these are the worst and most incriminating Facebook photos to have posted in cyberworld. Oh, and nip slips. There’s a 100% chance of those happening when you’re wearing lacy, silky, slutty undergarments.

Graffiti/Highlighter Party
Wear a white shirt, light the room in black lights and write on each other with highlighters. It’s an easy way for guys to write their numbers on girls’ backs or tell them they’re hot without actually having to say it. Yeah, this should be called the “guys are pussies party.” Seriously, after freshman year, guys should really have more game than that.

ABC (Anything But Clothes) Party
A chance to show your creative side. Household items such as newspapers, trash bags, towels, and even playing cards can be transformed into a fun outfit. You can even channel Lady Gaga and show up wearing meat. But do you realize how time consuming it is to make something that’s actually wearable/stays up? Sorry, I’d rather spend that time drinking.

Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes
Easy way to reach into your closet and pull out those Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, or J Crew polos. But c’mon, is this even a theme party? Sounds like a normal day of classes to me.

Stoplight Party.
Wear Green if you’re single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if you’re in a relationship. In the land of mixed signals (aka college), this is the easiest way to meet single people and know who they are right away, right? Uh, except that in college nearly everyone is single, so you still have to compete with the tons of other people in green. Who look way better in the color than you do. Stupid girls with stupid perfect skin tone…..

Jersey Shore.
Have you ever had to wash orange self-tanner off? Or brush your hair after it’s been teased up 3 feet? So. Not. Worth it.

Toga
Last but not least, the Toga Party. Nothing quite sums up college parties like the quintessential toga party. If there is one themed party to do in college, it’s this one. Or so people think. The truth is, this party is overdone. And togas are not easy to construct. And no one wants to sleep on a bare mattress after their lone set of sheets gets ruined by a drunk kid with a bowl of jungle juice. Go to a toga party once, fine. Go again, well, shame on you.

I’m not gonna lie, once upon a time I had a great time at soirees. But that time has long since passed and now the only theme parties I like to attend are of the “let’s get a keg and drink it” variety. Easy and to the point.

What do you think?

I, too, have pondered this question many times. It seems that the majority of professors have forgotten what it’s like to actually be a student. They honestly do assume that their class is the most important class available at your university and you have oodles of hours to read 20 chapters of Herman Melville in 3 days.

Raul Ramos, a professor at the University of Houston, acknowledged his total disconnect from campus life during his first 8 years at the university. He then — along with his wife, kids, and 2 dogs — moved into an on-campus dorm in an effort to become more acclimated with the students and their college life.

Although Ramos’ example is a bit extreme and many colleges cannot afford such accommodations, wouldn’t it be cool if professors actually tried to get to know students beyond the classroom?

We’ve compiled a list of 5 ways profs can leave the lecture hall and get inside the heads of their students.

Live in a double dorm room
A step beyond Raul Ramos’ experiment. What better way to get to know your students than to live with them? Hopefully, living with a sexaholic-alcoholic roommate will allow them to sympathize with the students that find it impossible to get anything – from studying to sleeping – done in their room.

Take your students out for beers
Getting drunk with your underage students may be crossing some sort of ethical line. But, if they’re all of age, no harm done. I’m sure many professors remember the days when they were students, the drinking age was 18, and heading to the local pub with their college teachers was no biggie. Why not bring back those days and chat about more than just papers and homework with your students. And maybe play some Quarters.

Pull an all-nighter in the library
My political theory professors constantly discuss thought experiments. Why not try a real-life one? Head to the library, pillow in hand, and try to knock out a 15-page paper in several late-night hours. Better get it done, though, because you have another 15-pager due the next day. These sleepless hours will hopefully garner a bit of empathy in professors for their students.

Host a theme party
Well, this could be a bit awkward. Especially if it’s an “Anything But Clothes” party. But, at the same time, who doesn’t want to see their goofy Econ teacher in dressed as a cocktail?  There’s no better way to get to know your students than by creating a light-hearted atmosphere with plenty of jungle juice to spare.

Go to class hungover
Welcome to the life of a college student. No matter how intriguing your 8:45 lecture is, if a student is hungover, they will not care. Granted, most students try to avoid going to class hungover. But, it happens and is one of the greatest reasons students fall asleep when listening to a monotonous teacher read directly from a PowerPoint presentation. After going to class hungover, you may be inspired to spice up your classes a bit in order to keep students interested. Or at least understand how terribly awful it feels and be a little more accepting of the fact that they even showed up.

If there’s one thing a sorority woman knows (besides the names of all her founding sisters/the words to every rush song/the rules to scoring the best room in the house) it’s a theme party. I don’t know if it’s in the official rules of Greek Life but sororities/fraternities and theme parties go together like cheating spouses and Hollywood. Only there’s way less drama. And magazine covers. And Barbara Walters interviews.

That being said, this week we asked our panel of sorority women to weigh in on the infamous theme party and share the best and worst they’ve ever been to.

Looking to throw a great party of your own? You might want to avoid a graffiti bash.

Kit: Alpha Chi Omega, Ohio State University
My favorite theme party so far has been Food Mascots. Everyone thought it was a strange idea at first, but I saw some of the greatest costume ideas that night. Some of the best costumes were the Chic-fil-a Cow, and the Orbit Gum Girl. My least favorite theme has been Guys in Ties, Girls in Pearls. Everyone always looks great, but we don’t get the chance to brainstorm any fun, creative costumes.

Lisa: UCLA
God, I love theme parties! I will use any excuse to dress up. I think the best one I ever went to was “Under $10.” Everyone had to go to the local thrift store and pick up an entire outfit that cost, you guessed it, under $10. It was hilarious. People were wearing the most atrocious stuff and it definitely made for great pictures (and endless hours looking through them on Facebook the next day). If I had to choose a worst, I’d probably have to go with Pimps and Hos. Yeah, real original. Snooooore. Come on, people! GET CREATIVE.

Gabby: Phi Theta Chi, Winona State University
My favorite theme party is Office Hoes & CEO’s, mostly because it gives me an excuse to dress up.  Also, girls at these parties aren’t as slutty as they usually are (except for the people who think Britney’s Hit Me Baby Catholic school girl outfit constitutes as office attire…), and that’s really refreshing.  Classy + Hot.  The worst would have to be graffiti parties.  If you’ve seen one profanity and/or body part chicken-scratched in highlighter, you’ve seen ‘em all, and I’m not a fan of having to go out and buy a brand new white shirt that I’m going to throw away the next day. Pass!

Kellyn: University of Michigan
My favorite themes are always the progressives, especially if they are themed “Around the World” or “Holidays” with matching refreshments and decorations. My least favorite are beach theme.  No one wants to dress in a shorts and flip flops when it’s, like, 30 degrees out.

Rachel: Chi Omega, Indiana University
The best themed party I’ve ever been to was definitely Rumble in the Jungle.  The decorations were so easy to make, and everyone went all out with animal prints and animal costumes and such.  The worst themed
party (I guess you can call it a theme..) I’ve ever gone to is when frats try to recreate bars in their basements.  It always ends up being really awkward, empty, and even kind of creepy.

Megan Watson, Purdue: Chi Omega
The worst party by far is a highlighter party. I don’t know a single person whose most flattering outfit consists of a head to toe white jump suit covered with bright profanity. Correct me if I’m wrong… But the BEST themed party? One word: Jerseys! Purdue Greeks, where you at!?

What do you think? What’s the best/worst theme party you’ve been to?

[Got a question for these women? Send it on over to submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

There is one thing in life you don’t understand until you get into college (besides a cheap vodka hangover).  And that one thing is theme parties.  And the one thing you don’t understand about them is how amazing they are.  Seriously, they should be a religion, or a hobby, or a competitive sport…OK, I know I’m getting a little carried away here but…

Theme parties are the cheese to my macaroni.

They are fashionably expressive, sexy trashy, and if there is anywhere (besides the local dive bar) where anyone gets absolutely crazy – it’s a theme party.  Franzia bags look juicer and beer served up in a red cup looks all the more tantalizing.   In my four years in college I can safely say that I’ve mastered the theme party.  And I think everyone should be given an equal opportunity to enjoy the ropes of a solid opportunity-to-get-creative slutty.

I’m here to fill your brain with theme party kit knowledge.  Go ahead and dedicate a separate bin for your theme party goods.  With the holidays coming (and with them a whole crop of creative theme parties), I promise it will be worth it.  You will need these things to get you through these trying times. Trust me.

Excessive Hair Spray / Bobby Pins
Big hair is birthed by bobby pins and hairspray.  So don’t let them go unnoticed.  Also, weasel a little bottle of hair spray in your purse for the evening.  You can spray some on your tights to keep them from ripping…and everybody loves a GP (group pee) sesh with your girlfriends to fix your hair before you scan the party.

Leg Warmers
With leg warmers, you really could put together any legit ’80s outfit.  If you really want to get wild and crazy, throw on a sweat band and any neon piece of clothing. Whoa, you’re already looking like Madonna circa 1980.

Tights / Fish Nets
This one is a must must.  How are you supposed to dress as anything sultry without them?

Sports Jersey
My personal favorite go-to theme party item is the sports jersey.  I can’t count how many times the Halloween weekend leaked into Saturday night (after three consistent days of partying) and I had almost run out of brilliant ideas.  Throw on that random jersey you got from a garage sale/thrift store, smear some black face paint under your eyes and voila, you are the female Tom Brady. Hey, hot stuff.

Sheets
Two words: toga party. Haha, and you thought I was going to say Casper Ghost party…! Oh and if you really want to get creative, grab some bendy branches from the quad, and make yourself some Roman Headwear.

Tease Comb
Big hair is always an extravagant must when it comes to theme party etiquette. So get that little tease comb out of hiding and start brushing backward.

Bright Colored Items of Clothing
Has anyone ever heard of a Rubix Cube Theme Party?  If you haven’t, it’s a party where everyone wears colors that match the colors of a Rubix Cube and the goal is to trade items of clothing with party attendees until you’re dressed in one solid color.  People who organize theme parties love this one the most (and I’m not wondering why). Hmm, if that’s not enough reason to have you set aside some red, green, blue, yellow and orange — I don’t know what is.

A Dude Shirt
You never can go wrong with one of these.  They are extremely comfortable, versatile and drop-dead-sexy with a pair of fishnets (see above) and patent leather black heels.  Why is the morning-after look the best for all theme party ideas? You have an excuse for the next morning’s walk of shame attire. Well, kind of.

Mardi Gras Beads
Because you have to.

Military style.

Honestly, I never would have liked this style if it wasn’t in every. single. fashion magazine this season. But, alas, it is (perhaps this is the fashion world’s way of tipping their hats to the troops?), so I’ve been on the hunt for a military piece that I feel I can pull off without looking as if I’m waging guerrilla warfare (although I might be if I catch someone wearing it at the same time as me). After all, if I’ve learned one thing about fashion, it’s that I need to wear the trend, NOT let the trend wear me.

And what will I be wearing this season? This awesome piece from American Eagle. I call it a piece because it’s neither sweater nor jacket; it’s more like their lovechild, or as AE calls it, the “Cropped Military Cardigan.”

I love this offspring of jacket and sweater because it’s different than the other military styles that you will never touch again come the last day of fall. It’s inexpensive (at $39.50!) and it’s not deep enough army green to look like pea soup. It’s no military shirtdress, or some trend from last fall dyed green in a desperate attempt to make it cool again.

It’s also so versatile – it can be either shirt or jacket. Wear it over your skimpy shirt (that your friends wouldn’t dare tell you makes you look like a stripper) on the way to a party when it’s so cold even “I won’t feel it after a few!” doesn’t hold true, or as a shirt on a chilly fall morning when you roll out of bed for class and need something quick and cute to pair with the jeans you found at the foot of your bed.

But the absolute BEST THING about this bad boy (and the military style in general)? You know there’s always going to be an Army theme party every semester, and while the ’80s will never come back and the orange self-tanner you used for your Jersey Shore party still hasn’t come off, this jacket will allow you to dress for the occasion without having to spend precious alchs money on something that makes you feel the need to throw another Army party just to justify the purchase.

Make sure not to leave this one behind, though, ladies. It’s so cute and warm and perfect, I can guarantee someone else will nab it and wear it (with the jeans they found at the foot of their bed) in your Monday lecture, praying the chick who left it at the party doesn’t recognize it.

Another reason to love Target

Do you send nude photos to your boyfriend?

For real!?

And Linds is back!

Finance your degree the smart way

How to pull off a Jersey Shore theme party

So you’re going to be a freshman. Thanks to your advisor/mom/campus tour/Bed Bath and Beyond advertisements, you think you’re ready. You learned how to do laundry, you’ve purchased the Twin XL sheets, you measured your future dorm room (and cried when you realized you could touch all 4 walls from the middle of the room) and all those A.P. classes have prepared you for the workload that comes in college.

Congrats. You now know about 10% of what you need to know to survive freshman year.

The truth is, there is a lot that happens your first year of college that no advisor (and especially not your parental units) is going to know about. And that’s why we’re here – to get you from Welcome Week through final exams in one glorious piece. And to try and stop you from making the same mistakes we did. Again and again.

You wanna survive your first year of college? Avoid any and all of these freshman year faux pas:

1. 8am class.
Despite thinking that 8am really is not that early, there is no way you are actually getting up for this class once you begin to discover that there is potential to party every night of college.  Do yourself a favor and don’t even try. 99% of the time, this class will be offered at another time or another semester. If you have to re-work your entire schedule and eliminate time for lunch between classes, do it. I promise, it’s worth it.

2. Hooking up with an older frat boy…and thinking that he will automatically fall in love with you.
In reality, college boys have been waiting three years to finally be big men on campus and use this status to hit on freshman girls.  Have fun, just try not to get too attached.

3. Puking in Public.
You’re in college.  Great job! This means you have pretty much unlimited access to alcohol.  This does not mean that your tolerance has gone up since high school. While the people around you may be able to slam 10 beers in 10 minutes, it might not be the case for you. Don’t be stupid. And if you are, excuse yourself before you become “girl who puked in her hands.”

4. Skipping Class.
I get it: skipping lecture where there are 300 people and no one takes attendance is tempting. But don’t do it. Lecture notes are incredibly important to your academic success and oftentimes the professor will discuss things that are not in your assigned reading but are in your final exam. Getting to class isn’t hard, so suck it up, bring some snacks and get to it.

5. Showing up to a frat party with male friends.
The rule of frats is simple:  chicks are in, and guys are always going to have to wait.  Do yourself a favor and make your group at least a 2:1 ratio in favor of the female gender.

6. All Sweats, All The Time
Ah, sweatpants. Love ‘em. But despite the comfort they provide (especially after you #3 and you’ve got a #1), they don’t love you back. Between the drunk eating, nasty dorm food, and major beer calories, you will gain weight. And without the guide that only a non-elastic waistband can provide, you’ll never know it. Put on some jeans once in awhile.

7.  Overdressing in theme.
Theme parties are great, but remember that as a freshman, you will likely be party hopping (especially if you mess up on #4 and can’t get in to the party you dressed for).  Don’t go all out for a “CEO and Corporate Hoes” party unless you plan to stay there all night.  Otherwise you may end up wearing a bra and a pencil skirt at an ’80s party, and that’s just not cool.

8. Spending all of your time video chatting.
While your home friends are great, so are the people at college!  Branch out, and learn to put away your Skype for some real person time so that you actually make new friends.  While a little bit of homesickness is normal, a relationship with your computer is not.

9. Winging an Exam.
If you did fine in high school not studying, good job.  That’s not how it works here.  Even those of us who do study can’t always make the grades, so don’t hurt yourself before you even take the exam. This is what you’re here for, after all.

10. Drunk Dialing Your Parents
It’s funny at the moment, but no one’s laughing the next morning when your mom calls at 9am and gives you “the talk.”

[Everyone's got a morning-after story and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we'll post it - anonymously, of course - right here!]

It was the Thursday night before homecoming, and a frat was throwing a “Heaven and Hell” themed party for my sorority.  We were to dress like devils and the boys like angels, so I threw on a teeny-tiny LBD, a pair of devil horns from the dollar store and borrowed red patent leather pumps from my friend. Naturally, a bunch of my sorority sisters came over to pound (too many) shots before stumbling heading out to the frat house.

When we got there, we headed downstairs (“hell”) where everything was decorated with flames and black tarps on the walls. Interesting.  We headed to the bar where we were given Solo cups of a red mixed drink, contents unknown.  After a couple refills, I was completely, utterly DRUNK, so I headed upstairs (to “heaven”), got on the dance floor and promptly found a cute boy to grind with. 

After awhile things started getting hot and heavy, so we headed to a bedroom.  Before I knew it I was naked except for my devil horns and red pumps, having sex with a guy dressed like an angel.  I made a mental note to cross “role play sex” off my bucket list when I got home.

After walking back into the party area, I had discovered that most of my friends had left during my bedroom romp (or I was just too wasted to find them).  I decided I was way too tired/drunk to try to find a safe ride, so I opted to walk home alone (about a 20 minute walk, by the way).

I was a mere 100 yards from the frat house, stumbling in my devil heels (both because they were red patent and because they were chomping on my baby toes) when I saw flashing lights in my periph. A cop pulls over to me, rolls down his window and asks me where I’m headed.  Things are blurry at this point, but I believe I whined something along the lines of “I’m too drunk and I just wanna go hoooooome!” Then I proceeded to lean against the door of his car.

Either I was too pathetic to arrest or he liked how my ass was hanging out of my LBD, but he felt bad for me and drove me home, telling me how unsafe it was for me to walk alone at 3 a.m.

Since I was blessed with a 10 a.m. class on Fridays, I woke up when my alarm went off at 9:15. Still fully dressed from the night before, horns and all. It wasn’t until then that I realized that post-sex I had put my dress on inside-out AND backwards, and even worse, I LEFT MY UNDERWEAR THERE.  As I stumbled to class that day (still drunk, mind you) I couldn’t help but think of my poor black lacy thong from Victoria’s Secret being tacked up on a frat house bulletin board.

Hell indeed.

Yup. That's my bedroom.

I was just sitting in my bedroom last week Facebook stalking people “who I totally don’t care about” from high school when my bedroom floor started to fill with water.

Despite not majoring in investigative detective work, I was able to quickly figure out that the water was coming from our washing machine. My roommate switched it off, I slipped on my rainboots, and we got to work mopping up the mess. I thought we had cleaned the whole thing up and it was safe to go back to searching for updates on the high school prom queen (she’s in a committed relationship, he must be cheating on her!).

I was very wrong. The water kept leaking and before long it was coming under my bedroom wall. Nothing was safe in my room and despite my best efforts to build towel barricades, the water kept flowing. I immediately regretted giving away the snorkel I had stolen from a “scuba divers and sluts” party back from junior year. In under ten minutes my bedroom had transformed from an oversized closet with a bed to a set from the filming of Titanic Two: Jack’s Resurrection.

Things were getting more dangerous (for my shoe collection piled on my closet floor) by the second and our super was taking his sweet time coming upstairs. Finally he arrived, saw the utter chaos and said “I would have come sooner if I had known it was that bad.” As if my screaming into the phone “THIS IS THE END” and setting off SOS flares outside my windows didn’t send that message.

Unlike myself, my super is NOT a detective. His best solution was removing the non-stop-leaking washer from out apartment. It would wait downstairs in the basement until they could order a missing piece. In the meantime we would have to live with a soggy floor and without a washing machine. This wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t already on my laundry-day underwear. All I had left after that was a one-piece swimsuit. Which, it turned out, was a blessing in disguise since it was the only appropriate outfit I could wear around my apartment-turned-swimming pool.

If only I was still in college; this would have made for a killer “life guards and slutty bikini girls” party.

Okay, so what are you going to wear, and just as importantly, what are you going to put on your face?

Getting your 70’s makeup to match up with your Flower Power dress can be tricky. So here’s a quick reference guide for how to do your decade makeup from “20’s Great Gatsby gal” to “80’s (Like a) Virgin.”

The Roaring 20’s: Skip your bronzer and opt for some light colored face powder; skin during this time was pale. Exaggerate your lip lines by outlining a cupid’s bow shape above the top lip and fill in with a deep red hue. Keep your eyes dark as well with thick coats of mascara and black liner. Keep shadow dark, either black or grey. This classic look will really help your eyes and lips pop. Accessorize with a feathered headband and dangly earrings.

50’s Desperate Housewife: Whether you are playing a housewife or Marilyn Monroe, the 50’s was also a classic makeup time. Like with the 20’s, keep lips a deep red and outline with a liner to help keep the color inside. Keep skin pale but accentuate your cheek bones with a rosy blush sweeping upwards to create a natural blush line. Contrary to the 20’s, keep your eyes light except for extra coats of thick mascara over curled lashes. Pull your hair back into a bun or create loose curls. Accessorize with a penciled-in Marilyn mole or pearl earrings.

60’s Flower Child: To create a mod, Twiggy-like look, focus on black and white. Paint your lips a pale pink and then apply false lashes and go over your bottom lashes with thick mascara. Try to find lashes that are spaced apart or get individual lashes so you can create clumps. Coat your lids with a white shadow and accessorize with both of the colors. If you want a flower-child hippie kind of look, choose a brighter shadow shade such as green. Braid you hair when it is wet, hairspray and unravel before you go out to create a messy crimped look.

70’s Disco Dancer: Think bright and sparkly! Choose a bright pink or fuchsia for your lips and shade your cheeks with a pink hue. Try to find a silver or gold glitter liner, or a fun color, like purple. Don’t be scared of chunky glitter to put over your lids. Accessorize with disco ball earrings and a flippy-‘do.

80’s Material Girl: To channel Madonna circa Desperately Seeking Susan paint your lips a bright pink. Darken your eyes but keep the rest of your face clear. Accessorize with a ribbon headband and large bow, or cross earrings. If you’re going for an 80’s jazzercise look instead, keep the bright pink lips but choose a bright blue liner or shadow. Create a wing by blending your blue hue outward and try blending several colors together like blue, pink and purple. Think chunky jewelry and bright scrunchies.