Life lesson #43298: What you think you should do is sometimes completely different than what you want to do – If only I could jump back to last summer to tell myself!

For what seems like forever, I have told everyone from friends, random people at parties, teachers, and family members that upon graduating undergrad, I would head off to graduate school to a M.A. or Ph.D. program in English literature. In fact, during my first year of college while my classmates were mostly concerned with figuring out their major requirements, I obsessed over taking the right classes designed for graduate school track students, finding the right internships, and doing everything the right way towards getting to graduate school – ruling everything out that did not fit in the perfect English grad school box I put myself in.

As you can imagine, it’s a rather rude awakening when everything doesn’t fall into place like you planned for it to.  Looking back, the moment I realized that my plans were not something I really 100% wanted to do anymore was during a conference meeting with my thesis advisor. She asked me why I wanted to attend graduate school. I was silent. I had no answer. I sputtered off some generic – the “I’d like to advance my studies in literature” excuse. But it felt so fake, so fabricated, and hearing myself say it bothered me. I didn’t like the way it rolled off the tip of my tongue. I didn’t like the way it made me feel about where I wanted to go in my future.

There is a huge problem when you don’t really have an answer as to why you are doing something major like applying to graduate programs, and this started the downward spiral of my graduate school plans. Another red flag was my honors thesis project. Like many seniors, I was completing a sixty-page thesis project (I was working in the area of girls’ fiction in children’s literature). I picked the topic myself, but not even a month or two into the project, I hated it. I wanted nothing to do with what I was writing and saying and researching. There I was working on something very similar to what I would be doing in graduate school, completely unhappy. Not good, right? Read More »

You do it every year without fail. There’s a string of weeks where you’re nice and organized with all your notes in the right folders, laundry done as soon as you’re running low on undies and putting everything where it belongs. And then, you forget your planner and decide you don’t feel like really carrying it, or you’re too tired to do that load of laundry…

Okay, it might not happen to you, but it happens to me.

Barely two weeks into the semester, and my room is still pretty navigatable, but far from clean. I can’t see the desk calendar where I put all of my due dates and meetings down anymore. I just don’t have the patience to be neat. I’m sure it’s a problem – I’ve been messy all my life – but I don’t really feel like fixing it. Read More »

I don’t know if it’s because I transferred after my freshman year, or if time really does fly when you’re having fun, but it doesn’t seem like I should be going into my senior year. Everyone else seems surprised by this too; family and friends always give me that “Are you serious?” look when I tell them that I’m going to be graduating in May 2009.

Even some of my buddies at school go, “Oh, yeah…,” when I remind them that I won’t be around to see all of the nifty things that are opening on my campus for Fall 2009. (Seriously, I’m paying for the school to build a new cafeteria and a new theater, but I don’t get to see them? What the hell is that about?)

To say I’m nervous is kind of an obvious. I have a ton of things to do this upcoming school year. I have to take twenty credits this fall and somehow have sixteen more by the time I graduate so I can actually graduate. I need two more creative writing classes to fulfill my Creative Writing minor. I need to find somewhere to take a Spanish 102 class, as I took the first half in a summer course (which you might have read me groaning about), but never quite crossed the finish line. Read More »

By my senior year of college, I could fly through my assignments and earn A’s on half-assed work. I could effectively balance bar-hopping and writing essays, and working part-time jobs and cramming for midterms. I knew that grad school would kick it up a notch, and I was ready for the challenge. However, I had forgotten what it felt like to try and not succeed, and I wasn’t quite as prepared for my self-esteem to take a beating.

I admit to not putting 100% into my academic efforts in college, but that was because I didn’t need to. I was writing papers with a buzz on and taking finals hungover, and still made Dean’s List. I knew that grad school would be different though, and I fully intended on being a legitimate scholar.

If you are considering grad school, you are probably doing very well in school. By senior year, you’re probably breaking the curves and tutoring your friends. You probably stand out in class for having thoughtful ideas and a firm grasp of the subject matter. Newsflash: Everyone in Grad School has gotten used to being a star scholar.

Often, PhD students and MA students will be mixed into classes together. I went from taking Shakespeare classes with business majors who didn’t know the definition of “iambic pentameter” to listening to a PhD debate over which folio edition was most likely the Bard’s original manuscript. WTF? My thoughts exactly. Read More »

April 1st. To some, it’s a day to tape faucets on and put saran wrap on toilet seats. It’s the first official day of the first official month of Spring. It’s a signal that winter is indeed, basically, over.

April also means that some of us are mere months away from either summer break or graduation, a fact that’s at once awesome and totally f*cking nerve wracking. What does the future hold, April? Will I get that job I’ve been praying for? Will I make it through Finals / my Thesis? Will flowers ever bloom again? And what about that hottie I’ve been eyeing for two months? Will they finally freaking notice me?! I mean, how many times do I have to walk by their door in my best pair of seductive summer shorts…?!

…Well, since April is a month and not a person, I suppose I’ll have to wait a little longer for these questions to be answered. But you, dear, fabulous reader, you can have your questions answered now!

If they’re about the site, of course. Got questions? Comments? Ideas? Let us know. A few cool things are going on with us, and all shall be revealed soon. But until then, we really want to hear from you. Where are you from? Favorite ice cream flavor? What really pisses you off, generally, when it comes to the human population?

Please. Elaborate.

You guys have probably noticed that my usual, semi-prompt weekly entry is a little late. Papers on top of thesis proposals on top of research is never fun. Still, despite all that, there’s a pretty important factor that has lead to my lack of writing;

I am f*cking exhausted.

Now, I’ve been able to handle six or seven hour nights before. I was great at it last semester, and the semester before that, and the semester before that…well, you get the point. Thing is, since I’ve started adjusting my diet, I have just been utterly exhausted. There’s also the fact that my patience for dieting is wearing thin, and I’ve admittedly been cheating, like with that handful of jelly beans I had just an hour or so ago. My weight isn’t going down, and I’m getting kind of upset about that. So I’ve been trying to distract myself.

The gym on campus was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was. I didn’t go alone this time; I dragged along one of my buddies and we hung out there for a good hour or something like that. No bike this time; I was on the treadmill for 25 minutes and the elliptical for 25 minutes. The treadmill was a nice warm-up for the elliptical, and while I was on it I realized something amazing. Read More »

When I was pledging my sorority Freshman year – for 10 freaking weeks – all I could think about was the day it would all end; I would be a full-fledged member of the house and I wouldn’t have to get the older girls ice cream at 3am, carry cigarettes around for them just in case they might need one while they were out on campus, or have to sleep on the floor of a very cold sorority house every weekend. I was absolutely miserable, but I always knew that there was a bright light at the end of the tunnel (read: date parties and a private cook!) and it would all be worth it in the end.

It may seem crazy to put yourself through hell to join a group, but there is a purpose to pledge term: group bonding and appreciation as you work towards something. I worked hard with my pledge class to succeed at many (mostly ridiculous) tasks, which eventually ended with a very large and exciting payoff.

Payoff being the operative word. Because why else would someone slave away like a dog for weeks without any sort of payoff – unless, of course, they were into all that S&M shit?

Maybe we should ask the people over at Princeton. One of the residential colleges over there recently started a new “program” (service, really) for seniors working on their theses. Obviously, writing a thesis is super duper hard (which is why I decided not to do one, naturally) so someone thought it would be a great idea to offer those thesis-ites a little help. Read More »