So you lick the gooey chocolate off of your forearm (how did that even get there?), open up a Word document and start your list of resolutions.

I will complete all of my reading assignments.
…and I will not wait until the last minute to do my reading assignments.
I will not party on weeknights (when I have a class the next day).
I will not eat after 10 pm.
I will make healthier snack choices.
I will workout 6 5 days a week.
I will not hook up with randos…or anyone that I’m not in a relationship with.
I will not wear sweats out of the house anymore.
I will experience the culture of my college town on the weekends instead of watching TV marathons all day long.

Satisfied with the realistically attainable yet positive goals, you save the document, down a few more cookies and go about your day.

NYE comes and goes in a blurry, late-night-pizza filled haze (“THIS IS MY LAST LATE NIGHT PIZZA EVERRRR”) and when you finally wake up sometime near dusk on January 1st, you set your plan in motion. First you hit the gym, then you put on jeans and a sweater to run errands with your mom, including a Staples run to stock up on all the supplies you’ll need for a successful semester. “This isn’t so hard,” you think as you give yourself a mental high five.

Before you know it, break is over (sob) and it’s time to head back to campus. You begrudgingly stuff your post-Christmas thighs into a pair of skinny jeans for the flight back and stare longingly at your favorite yoga pants folded on the top of your suitcase. “No sweats,” you remind yourself. You zip up the suitcase, grab an apple and some almonds for the trip, hug your parents goodbye and return to your college life.

The first few days of classes go swimmingly. You’re looking cute, you’re staying on top of your assignments and you’re even fitting in time between classes to hit the treadmill. You feel awesome and confident that you’re gonna be a better version of yourself this year.

And then, like a tsunami, Thirsty Thursday rolls around. You’re not technically going against your resolutions since you don’t have class on Friday – at least that’s what you tell yourself as you pound a beer before you even get into the shower. But the rest of the night gets a little blurry and the next thing you know, you’re waking up next to not only a random, but a random with moobs. Who is clutching an empty pizza box. And by the way your stomach is feeling, the contents of said box are in your stomach. Dipped in ranch.

Instead of getting ahead on your reading for the week, you spend the rest of the day in bed with a bag of Sun Chips, getting up only to put on sweats and run to the corner for some Powerade and Advil. That Friday morning Yoga class you signed up for? Yeah, the only poses you’ll be doing this morning are the Downward Dog into the Toilet Bowl and Crouching Tiger, Hidden What The Hell Did I Drink Last Night?

And at 6pm, while you’re still lying in bed with the worst hangover of 2011, your BFF texts.

“Hey bitch. Party tonight??”

You know that you shouldn’t. You know there are better, more productive things you could be doing with your time. But you also know you’re only a week into the new year and you’ve already blown every last resolution on your list – what have you got to lose?

“Hell yeah. Let’s power hour.”

—-

Yup. Been there. Done that. Right now in fact. But hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?

I felt home.

College life offers students experiences they would never have anywhere else, mostly because having people lift your legs while you hold onto a keg and drink beer for as long as you can isn’t really socially acceptable anywhere else. Nor is reviewing your text messages from the night before to figure out what you did after leaving the house. Or making a meal out of tomatoes, cream cheese and Shredded Wheat (the only things left in your kitchen).

But those things are not only accepted in college, they are expected. They are things that define college life. And the things I miss most about being a real person with a “real” job. (I write about college life all day… I’m not sure anyone would consider that as grueling as an Investment Banker.)

So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to break it all down for us and define the life that is college:

“You know you’re in college when______________”

What are your tell-tale signs?

Laura – St. Johns: When going to bed at midnight is considered “early” and waking up anytime before noon on the weekend is unheard of.

Ness – Sheridan: When your diet consists mainly of KD, hot dogs, and, if you’re lucky, maybe a little chicken.

Charlsie – Hollins University: When the word “sketchy” is used in your vocabulary more often than not to describe your Friday/Saturday night antics.

Teresa – UCSD: When your tagged Facebook photos pretty much render you unemployable, but they’re priceless enough that you can’t bring yourself to de-tag.

Brithny- Duke: When a well-balanced meal consists of Cheez-Whiz (dairy), pretzels (carbs), pickles (veggies), pop-tarts (fruit), and spoonfuls of peanut butter (protein). So good in my mouth. Not so good for my thighs.

Kiki – University of Missouri: When you or someone you live with owns an Audrey Hepburn poster. Pearls, a baby tiara, and cross-campus appeal inspire dorm dwellers everywhere to keep it classy. Or at least fake it more effectively.

Marisa – Wesleyan University: When you get a thrill out of baby/dog sightings on campus.

Kim – Stanford: When you can’t remember the last time you made out sober, you have Domino’s on speed dial, and the only time you work out is on beer runs.

Melanie – Northeastern University: When you form a drinking game to “Top Model” as an excuse drink on a Wednesday.

Lexi C – Brown: When you wake up just in time for dinner.

Carly – Grinnell: When the words “free food” are almost equivalent to the words “free money.”

Nina – Michigan State University: When the most important requirement for group meeting locations is that they serve alcohol.

Katie – Michigan State University: When you show up to class looking like hell (because of the night before) and people congratulate/admire you instead of condemn you.

Kari – Florida State: When you completely understand the practicality of stocking up on various costumes during Halloween sales.

Leah – Ryerson University: When you love going home because it means your mom will stock you up on the essentials like shampoo and razor blades.

Maddie – Tufts: When you need to have your friends remind you what happened last night.

Zahra – Northwestern University: When you have to pull some all-nighters, whether they’re the “I have a bio midterm tomorrow and can’t start studying until I watch the lastest episode of Gossip Girl” kind, or the “I have a bio midterm tomorrow but I study best when I’m drunk so I’m going to a party” kind.

Thu – USC:  When days like Tequila Tuesday and Thirsty Thursday exist. Wait for the weekend? Nahh, I don’t think so.

Here’s a secret: the editors of CollegeCandy are not in college anymore. And we cry about it every day. Seriously. We thought running a site for college girls would help us stay young, but waking up every day and reading about your college lives makes us want to do a keg stand…and then cry in the corner.

When we were still in school (only a short time ago, thankyouverymuch), we took it for granted. The freedom, the endless flow of money into our bank accounts, the drink specials, the endless flow of men up and down the hallways of our dorm… We never appreciated what we had. And now we are in the real world. And it sucks.

We felt it was our duty to remind you how good you have it. Life will never be as awesome as college – you can’t stay home from work because you feel like it, you can’t trip and fall on a cute and available guy, and Thirsty Thursdays no longer exist. So take a moment and think about your favorite thing about college life. Our writers did and here is what they have to say:

Brithny – Duke: The only thing better than the word “sale” is the word “free.” And in college, it means free shirts, hats, stress balls, bobble-heads, Tylenol, trainers, spotters, tutors, and for my wilder friends, an endless fishbowl of condoms.

Amanda – Wagner: I love being able to manipulate my schedule to have Fridays off and, if I can manage, to have my earliest class at 1pm.

Mazuba – Westchester Community College: The freedom to make your own schedule and not have to get up at 5am to be at school at 7:45 like in high school. We all need our beauty sleep and time to recover from the tequila shots the night before!

Charlsie – Hollins: All the sketchy things I have done out of boredom with my best friends. These moments have shaped who I am and my college experience entirely, and I know I will look back on them forever.

Sarah – East Carolina University: College Football! Nothing better than spending all day tailgating and watching the game!

Sara C- Fordham: Living in such close proximity to my friends. Even though I have an apartment now, being in school means most of my friends live in a 3-block radius. And of course in the dorms all you have to do is walk down the hall to see your best friends. Every night is like a sleepover!

CJ – UConn: Drinking while you work.  I can write a paper with a glass of vino in my hand, but at work-work…. not so much.

Donnette – Manhattanville College: Being on my own and still getting money from my parents

Thu – USC: Independence. Doing what you felt like doing when you feel like doing it.

Alex – Lakehead University: The freedom!

Anna – Northeastern: The convenience of everything – the gym, grocery store, cafeteria, classroom buildings, and my work study job are all a 5 minute walk away!

Sarabeth – University of Texas: The 3am food runs.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: Game days.  One of the only times where it is socially acceptable to get trashed during the day and pass out by 6 PM.

Liza M – Minnesota: Being able to do whatever I want whenever I want without having to ask (or tell!) anyone.

Johnie – PSU: Knowing I’m in this safe place between high school and the real world…no worries!

Cristina – Michigan State University: Coming back from parties at 4:30am and not getting bitched at.

S.E. Fordham: Being able to go to bars a couple times a week and no one thinks anything of it. After college this is called being an alcoholic.

Carly – Grinnell: The chance to be with friends whenever and wherever. It’s easy to take that for granted until you graduate and suddenly everyone you know is scattered all over the globe.

Liza – Grove City College: Living with all of your best friends!  You never really get to have everyone you like living in the same building after college…

What’s your fave?

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Ex-boyfriend calls out of the blue (at 3 am).

Although it would be mighty enjoyable to deny your calls during daylight hours, I just couldn’t muster up the proper amount of excitement about ignoring you as I was attempting to sleep. At 3 am. As most (okay some) college students are doing on Wednesday nights. It was, in fact, incredibly irritating to listen to my phone vibrating violently until it buzzzzed right off my nightstand, unplugged itself from my charger and died early the next morning, preventing me from whiling away my classes with interesting texts and Facebook stalking.

It seems that you still find ways to annoy the sh*t out of me, even technologically! Your call was especially appreciated by my new (and way better) boyfriend, who happened to be sleeping next to me and was quite frankly a little pissed off for the entire next day due to sleep deprivation and extreme annoyance with you. The only consolation I got from your obnoxious ass was the touching voicemail you left me (I believe you were crying) slurring on and on about how great I am. Well, I think it’s a little too late for that, mister, and so does everyone else who listened to it (aka 48 of my sorority sisters with a tendency to gossip)–although they did get a great laugh out of listening to your blubbering for 3 minutes.

Re-runs of The Office when you specifically cancelled Thirsty Thursday to curl up with Jim and Pam.

Any college student can tell you how vitally important Thursdays are to the bar, social and (for my single ladies) the sexual scene on campus (um, VERY). So it’s a heart wrenching decision when I decide to spare my liver and my wallet on the occasional Thurs, order myself an entire pizza (not that I’ll eat it all at once or anything…) and wave a bittersweet goodbye to my dressed up friends waltzing out the door with our good friend Franzia tucked under one arm. Any regret of staying in usually vanishes upon the beginning of my favorite Comedy Night Done Right component: The Office. And then it’s a repeat. I already know that Jan had her baby before the shower, that Angela gets screwed out of both Dwight and Andy, and that sadly, Michael will not win Holly back. What I do not know is how to deal with the intense anger and grief that accompanies my realization that I have 20 minutes to get ready, get my ass to the bar and start chugging before Beat the Clock is over. You may have won this week NBC, but I’ll be watching next week’s episode on Hulu while I’m hungover Friday afternoon.

Scented Candles.

It seems like I buy a new scented candle anytime I go anywhere. At the mall, it’s Bath and Body Works to splurge on White Barn. At home it’s buying fundraising candles from younger cousins or my mom’s co-workers. At Walmart it’s just me going buckwild on the candle aisle (they’re like $2.99 for a 20 ouncer! I’d be crazy not to take advantage!). Every time  I come home with a new candle, find a strategically awesome place to put it so that it matches the room’s color/vibe/purpose/season/whatev and light that bad boy up, I get a little feeling of wonderfully scented satisfaction. Fast forward to two weeks later. My formerly awesome candle just doesn’t have the same pungency. It’s not as pretty now that all the wildflowers in the wax are long gone. In fact, the wax is kind of crazy and gnarly and isn’t cute at all. And that’s if there’s even any wick left.

Most of the time it just burns down to the bottom and I’m left with a glass jar of wonderfully scented garbage. I don’t even have any surface area left in my room to put things down on. Just jars and jars of various candles that I occasionally sniff and can’t bear to throw out. I think it’s turning into a problem, so I’ve resolved only to buy 4 candles a year (so they’re seasonally appropriate, and I won’t feel bad about shelling out for Yankee Candle in the recession.). Yet everywhere I go, a new candle with some pretty ribbon or delicious scent taunts me and tries to lure me back to the dark (light and fragrant?) side…

When your roommates go on dates with a**holes.

More specifically, when I’m the designated meet and greeter for said a**holes. I have better things to do than get the door for you and make small talk while my roomie finishes making herself hotter (for your benefit!). The least you can do is be polite, don’t turn on MY TV without permission and not take the phrase “make yourself comfortable” to the extreme (removing jacket, perfectly acceptable; removing shoes and socks while you wait for 15 minutes—not so much.) And I would have thought that it goes without saying, but um, don’t be f–ing rude to a friend of the girl you’re most likely gonna try to hook up with later (because I will c&ck block you with all of my best efforts).

Being rude includes, but is not limited to: Answering my small talk with nods, only speaking to ask where the shot glasses are, proceeding to nonchalantly smoke pot in my living room, chase aforementioned shot with my last Diet Snapple, eavesdrop on me telling my boyfriend that I have a headache, or suggest that a good remedy for headaches is an intense workout—and that I should try it sometime. Don’t worry, I’ll catch your date up on your rude behavior via text message while the two of you enjoy your evening out.

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.

No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

There are many moments in a college student’s existence that are shared by other students around the globe, but none more common than the All Nighter.

You know on the first day of class that there will be a 12-page paper due this Friday. You highlighted it, and put it in your planner. But as the weeks went by – and you sorta stopped showing up for class – you kept pushing the paper off. “I’ll start it this weekend,” you tell yourself a week before it’s due.

But the weekend comes, and with it comes an impromptu house party at your place Friday night, a long recap/hangover session on Saturday, a birthday party Saturday night and work on Sunday. No time for a paper.

You assure yourself that you will do it a little each night this week, but it takes you until Wednesday to realize that heading to the library with the girls and a bag of Baked Lays is not the best way to be productive.

So, now it’s Thursday and the 12-page paper is looming. You scarf down some dinner, say TTFN to the roomies (who are pre-drinking for Thirsty Thursday), and embark on a long-ass night of research and paper writing.

You stop at the drug store on the way and pick up a few things: a couple Red Bulls, a bottle of water, a bag of chips and a Snickers bar. The combination of sugar and caffeine should get you through. When you arrive at the library (because there is no way in hell you’d get this paper done at home), you run past the scene in the reading room and scope out a quiet table in the middle of nowhere so you can’t be distracted. You unpack all of your things, spread them out on the table, turn on your laptop (and turn off your AIM), and get all settled in when you realize that the table you are sitting at is not near an outlet.

Eff.

So, you pack everything back up and find another place to sit.

The first 2 hours go by quickly and you get a lot done: you have the thesis, you have a plan, and now you just have to get writing. You drink a Red Bull and pump out 1.5 pages in the next 30 minutes. And then you crash and start drooling on your keyboard. It’s a war between you and your brain, but you know you must win. You get up, walk around a bit, then come back to write some more.

At some point near about 3am, you eat a little more sugar and pump out the rest of the paper. Your hands are shaking, your eyes are teary, and you are pretty sure you just compared Shakespeare to Will I. Am., but at least you are getting this thing done.

At 5am you finally finish the first draft. It is time to review but you can’t keep your eyes open. You begin to have an internal battle: “If I don’t go home and get some sleep I am going to be a zombie and won’t be able to contribute in class anyway, but if I don’t review the paper and make edits it is totally gonna suck. But, sleep is great. But grades are great. But my bed is so warm and comfy, and this chair sucks, but nothing sucks more than failing this stupid class….”

At some point you pass out.

Eventually you are startled awake (head on desk isn’t very comfortable) and have just under an hour to finish the paper, print it and turn it in.  You are running on pure adrenaline at this point – running from computer to printer to desk to class. You get the paper in just in time, then sneak out of the back of the lecture hall to crawl back into your bed for the rest of the day.

Yeah, we’ve all been there. And don’t worry; we didn’t look as cute and put together as the girl in the picture, either.

Lucky for you, I’m going to share a few tricks to keep your makeup on your face so you can dance to Brit without lookin’ like (old) Brit.

First, make sure your face is completely clean, a good exfoliating scrub like this one from Clinique will get rid of dead skin that could ruin your look. Moisturizing your skin thoroughly with an unscented lotion will help makeup stick to your skin. Perfume also absorbs well when skin is damp and moisturized, so apply your scent now. Powder foundation on your face will also stick great when skin is moisturized so swipe that on now and dab some concealer under your eyes.

To keep your lashes big and beautiful throughout the night start with an eyelash curler. Just like with hair, heat helps maintain your lashes, so heat up your curler with a hair dryer on low for a few seconds. Then curl your lashes starting at the base and pressing down three times working your way up to the tips of your lashes. Once your lashes are curled with heat apply a few coats of mascara that won’t clump. Try Bad Gal Mascara from Benefit. This lash brush is huge and doesn’t leave your lashes sticky or hard.

To keep eyeliner where it’s meant to be, try Bare Escentual’s Weather Anything liner sealer. Mix a few brush scoops of loose powder with two drops of this liner sealer and use a thin brush to swipe it on your lower and upper lash line. This sealer really does withstand everything from rain to snow or tears (although hopefully your night won’t come to that).

Keeping eye shadow in place is as easy as simple layering. Apply a little bit of cream shadow to your lids first, this Revlon kit is cheap and includes four colorful creams of your choice. Then when you apply packed or loose powder eye shadow over the cream it will stick to the lids better. Another great tool is eye shadow primer like this one from Urban Decay. Just swipe it on your lids for extra staying power.

To maintain a healthy blush glow all night try using a cream blush stick like this one from Nars. Then go over the blush with translucent powder which will help set the look. This Bare Essentual’s mineral veil is a great product and can be put over your whole face to set your look.

Lastly, to keep lips looking perfect, moisturize first with a great balm like Burt’s Bees. Then dab some powder on your lips, like the mineral veil mentioned above. Lipstick and gloss will adhere great to the powder and help your look stay maintained.

Keep these Sephora blotting papers in your clutch for some added help keeping your face shine-free and your makeup colored in the lines!

So hook up your laptop speakers, bust out your 40’s and get ready to pre-game harder than those other kids party.]

It’s Thursday. Probably the last one of the semester. Your brain is fried, your fridge is empty, and you are probably thisclose to killing someone. So tonight, if you’re done with finals (or even if you’re not), buy yourself a six pack and let’s all celebrate the end of another semester with this eclectic group of tunes about freedom, partying and havin’ a damn good time. Let’s hear it everybody: F*ck finals!

Go ahead, turn your brain off.

So hook up your laptop speakers, bust out your 40’s & get ready to pre-game harder than those other kids party.]

The time has finally come, my friends! Finally, you get to don your fabulous, expensive and inevitably sl*tty costumes, go out and have a damn good time. In the spirit of the season, I obviously had to create a pregame playlist dedicated specifically to the crazy, ridiculous holiday. So, starting with the King of Pop MJ’s, Thriller, I’ve created a playlist with a variety of spooky, creepy and hilarious Halloween songs from over the last, you know, half a century or so to help you get your um, freak, on. Happy (almost) Halloween!

Get the party started right here.

[If you have suggestions for future playlist themes or have a track you really think should be included in a future installment, let us know in the comments!]

After looking at smokin’ hot pics of Faith Hill, I started to get a little nostalgic for middle school and her super-catchy hit, “This Kiss.” So, I decided to craft my first weekly pre-game playlist around my memories of songs that I used to LOVE in middle school. I’ve tried to include a little bit of everything – from the classics like *NSYNC and Hanson to lesser-known one-hit wonders like Samantha Mumba. It’s crazy the different meanings I get from some of these songs now. Seriously…”MMMBop” is some deep sh*t!

If you’re looking for a playlist to share with a mixed crowd, this might not be your best bet. But if you’re chillin’ with a group of girls & ready to travel back to the 90′s with all it’s boy bands, flare jeans and glitter eyeshadow (and after a few drinks, who isn’t?) – then enjoy!

Get the party started here.

[If you have suggestions for future playlist themes or have a track you really think should be included in a future installment, let us know in the comments!]

Rewind to the end of senior year when a certain girl was debating between College A and College B. College A is the largest school in North Carolina, is very serious about their sports program (which means tons of fans to party with, plus I love college football) and just happens to be an hour from my boyfriend. College B is a smaller but well-known school located right in the middle of a booming city not to far from my home in Virginia that also happens to house an insane Arts/Fashion program.

Of course, naive senior Amber picked College A so she could get a degree in Fashion but still tailgate, party like crazy and spend time with her beau.

One cringe-worthy break up, one failed class, dozens of racial/socioeconomic clashes and too many drunken nights later I decided that it was time to transfer. My decision was a good one, but was made too late; by the time I submitted my application to another school (College C, I guess), it was impossible to receive housing and a decent financial aid package. Then I remembered good ol’ College B with the awesome Fashion program and decided going there was worth spending one semester at a sh*tty community college while having to obey Mom and Pop’s rules.

Some of you may have decided (or been forced) to stay at home too, or maybe I’m just hoping I’m not the only one that gets upset when I see those back to school commercials with all the cute dorm furniture and kids running through campus. Either way, there are pros and cons to movin’ back in with the rents and I know all about them:

Pros

-Saving money. At College A my room and board was about $6,000, not to mention all the sh*t i had to buy for my dorm and all the meals I wasted on my dining plan by not using them. Do you know what I could have done with that $6,000?!!

-Free (and good) meals. Mom’s baked macaroni and cheese? Dad’s fried turkey? ‘Nuff said.

-No roomate(s)/hallmates. No waking up to hearing some random drunk guy singing the fight song in front of your door. Naked.

-Spending time with the family. Sure I wasn’t very homesick at school, but I still missed my movie dates with mom and watching WWE with my dad, not to mention shopping trips with my sister.

Cons

-Lack of privacy. At College A I went out around 11 to party and came back around 5 or 6. Now I’m subjected to numerous questions about my whereabouts even if I’m just running to 7-11 for a slurpie.

-No more (heavy) partying. No more Thirsty Thursdays. No more late night beer runs. The one time I did drink while I’ve been home I was so afraid of coming home drunk that I drank about a quarter of what I usually consume. And left the party by 10.

-No more dorm fun. To make up for all the crappiness of dorm life, my friends and I would come up with all sorts of crazy things to do. Now I sit around and watch old episodes of Family Feud . Fun.

-Boys? What Boys? With the exception of myself, everyone in my neighborhood is either really old or really young, meaning NO eye candy whatsoever.

Deep down I know I really need this time to rethink my goals in life and get my priorities together, but I’m sure the next couple of months are going to be gruesome. Expect a full report at the end of the semester