Dear Mr. Thong Inventor,

I would like to preface this letter by saying that your work has made a large yet incredibly skimpy contribution to my adolescent years. And while I do believe in the nobleness of your cause, I am rather puzzled by the method to the madness of such an invention. As I hold up the tiny piece of fabric that is my underwear, several questions come to mind, such as:

Which came first: The thong, or “The Thong Song”?
The first time I heard The Thong Song, I was 11-years-old. Try explaining to a sixth grader, still under-clad with flower-print Hanes granny panties, the concept of a thong. Watching a leprechaun of a man do cartwheels on the beach doesn’t really do that good of a job of explaining the exact science behind the thong. In fact, I’m pretty sure I thought he was singing about summertime footwear up until 2001, when I realized I needed to wear this contraption to be socially acceptable.

Where the devil did you get this genius idea?
Was it a public service project? Did you see one too many VPLs (Visible Panty Lines, for you not-in-the-knows) and proclaim “I’ve had it! I’m inventing buttless underwear!” To you, Mr. Thong Inventor, going commando just wasn’t an option. Now that point I can understand, as I probably have not washed my jeans since the opening night of “Sex and the City.” And who really likes walking around with that, “I’m wearing the pant equivalent of dirty underwear” feeling all day? Yeah, neither do I. So really, Mr. T.I, you were the answer to my laundry-lazy, VPL-phobic prayers.

How the hell did you get it to catch on?
No seriously. It takes pure skill to get a woman to try on a permanent wedgie, let alone make it a long lasting trend in the sexy lingerie industry. Think about it: it’s a tiny scrap of cotton, satin, silk, or pearls (hey, I dunno what kinda stuff you’re into…) that is designed to chill between your butt cheeks all day. But women still go crazy for them! They even tease other women that don’t wear their underwear up their ass.

I remember my friend Emilie was the first of our 8th grade “group” to wear a thong. She finally caved in after much ridicule from her older sister regarding a tragically obvious VPL in a tacky polyester skirt (honestly, can you blame the older sis?). The day of her thong debut, she literally screamed in agony every time she bent down to open her locker. Even after witnessing her shriek six times before the end of third period, I still thought “Man, I gotta get me one of those!”

Even now, as a “mature” college girl, I will not be caught dead touching a pair of grannies, let alone wearing them during a hook up. You didn’t just sell them to the women of the world, you fooled guys into thinking they were the sexiest form of underwear. Yeah, I get the whole “more is better” thing when it comes to women’s asses, but that still doesn’t really explain to me why butt floss is an attractive option. You must have had to have some pretty solid endorsements to sell this baby to the masses. In this case, I think this product would even be a toughie for the OxyClean man (and that’s saying something – that guy could get me to buy anything). Was Sisqo dancing around a few lubed up beach babes really all it took?

Please find time in your busy pants-dropping schedule to get back to me as soon as possible. Seriously, we need to talk. I have a great idea for an invisible lingerie line that could really use a boost…

Yours truly,
Miss Thong Investor

[This story was originally posted by Elizabeth - UC Berkeley]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

Since you ladies loved our history of the bra so much, our friends from OnlineDating.org went ahead and made a visual representation of the history of the thong. You know, so,  you could have a complete two-piece set. Or at least finally know who to blame for inventing this torture system.

Pay attention – you might be tested on this one day.

At the beginning of the previous semester, I dedicated a post to the top 5 bras every college girl should own. These bras, I noted, were essentials that could totally make or break your look.

In order to create the perfect foundation for your outfit, the panties you choose are equally important! If your lingerie drawer is in need of an upgrade, if you’re unsure of what to wear under that new dress, or if you simply consider yourself a lingerie junkie like I do, read on! These five styles should be staples in every college girl’s wardrobe.

1. Boy Shorts/Booty Shorts

Why they’re a must-own:

Boy shorts are surprisingly great under skirts and dresses, or anything with a more flowy construction. A great pair of boy shorts won’t show any traditional panty lines, so you can wear them underneath fairly tight pieces, too. Another reason they’re great? Coverage. If you’re wearing a skirt on a windy day, wouldn’t you rather be wearing booty shorts than anything smaller?!

When buying boy shorts, make sure you pick pairs that are snug enough to hug your body, but not tight enough to cause the dreaded muffin top. Don’t go too loose either, though! There is nothing worse than a saggy, baggy pair of boy shorts!

Top Picks:

Product Information: Sheer Lace Boyshort, Forever 21. Lace Striped Boyshort Panties, Charlotte Russe. Aerie Ultimate Tanga, American Eagle. Ruffle Mesh Boyshort Panties, Charlotte Russe.

What other undies do you need in your arsenal? Read the rest CollegeFashion.net!

There are many difficult decisions we women must make at different times throughout our lives: tampon or pad, Brazilian or bikini, Pantene or Herbel Essense, Gossip Girl or The Hills? Difficult, difficult decisions.

It wasn’t until recently, however, that I faced one of the toughest short term decisions of my life. Or night. This choice would affect it all: my looks, my weight, and my potential for pulling some major booty.

Here was my dilemma: Do I wear Spanx, the best body shaping underwear that eliminates panty lines and takes about 10 pounds away from my curvaceous bod, or do I wear the sexy, skanky, black lace thong?

I know I’m not the only girl out there who has pondered this perplexity. And I am definitely not the last. So, what should you do? Let’s break it down:

Spanx make that tight dress fit perfectly and suck you in at all the right places. Problem is, body shaping underwear looks like this, or worse, like this. They’re like granny-panties-meet-military-armor with the dangerous potential to scare away any guy who finds his way down south.

Thongs, on the other hand, are straight out of every man’s fantasy. They are a guaranteed turn-on and a real flag raiser (if you know what I’m sayin’…). But they also leave everything hangin’ out…and jiggling.

Spanx make you look good, which, in turn, make you feel good and beautiful and confident enough to walk up to that fellow you’ve been eying and spit your best game.

Thongs are thin strips of material that ride uncomfortably high, making them nearly impossible to ignore as you go about your business all night. Jiggling.

Spanx require a full-body workout to get on and off. And when you finally do roll (yes, roll) those suckers down your legs (which is impossible to do while still maintaining some semblance of sex appeal), you’re left with deep red lines across your stomach. Hotness.

Thongs only require a slight tug (with teeth) to remove. They also happen to be easy to stuff back into your purse for the long Stride of Pride home. Jiggling.

You can see the dilemma. There’s really no true winner. It looks like the only option might be the old “I’ll meet you outside in a minute”/run into the bar bathroom and break a sweat taking off those Spanx and go commando before he has a chance to look up your skirt maneuver.

Sigh. It’s not easy being a girl.

As I put on my thong the other morning, I thought to myself, “Gosh, you know what would make this thing perfect? If it could somehow keep my ears warm. And if I had some nipple tassels, high tops and scrunch socks to go with it.”

And look what I found.

The Internet really does make dreams come true.

You already know how I feel about Tarte cosmetics and if you don’t I’ll tell you: I’m obsessed. Their products are high quality and eco-friendly; what more can you ask for?

Well, Tarte has teamed up with Commando underwear to get you covered (from top to [your] bottom) for the upcoming holiday season. They’re giving away up to $750 worth of goodness and all you have to do is enter. And with products like theirs, that is definitely something to be thankful for this season.

Tarte’s Lights, Camera, Lashes mascara is hands down the best mascara I’ve ever tried. Ever. And I’ve tried all of them. Every time a magazine boasted about their favorite mascara, I’d buy it. But they were all the same. I just figured mascara was mascara and started buying whatever was cheapest at Target. But Tarte taught me that there is a difference and not all mascaras are created equal. I honestly don’t know how they do it, but my eyes have never looked better or brighter. Seriously. It’s a miracle product.

Oh, and as long as we’re talking about the best products ever, let me just tell you about The Eraser, a legendary concealer. Not only does this stuff cover up the major black circles under my eyes (tested and approved on a particularly hungover morning), but it has a brush built in so you don’t have to run your greasy fingers across your freshly washed face. Gah! I just love it.

And you know what else I love? Going commando. (True story – I really don’t like panty lines…or doing laundry.) But after Britney and Paris started flashing their lady bits all over town I decided to give undies a try. And they failed me. I thought I was doomed to a life of not-so-stealthily picking wedgies… and then, like a gift from the heavens, I recieved a sample of Commando underwear. This stuff is ridiculous. It has zero seams, meaning it gives you the look of going commando without the fear of accidentally exposing yourself. Plus it comes in all different styles (bikini, thong, girl shorts) and designs (solids, animal print). It still adds to the laundry basket, but when you see how good your bootie looks in those girl shorts you won’t even care.

I seriously loaded up on this stuff (20 pairs to be exact) and am officially a member of the underwear-wearing community. Though you wouldn’t know by looking at me in a pair of leggings. These things are genius!

And you can get a whole slew of them and a ton of Tarte beauty products just by entering. So go! Enter! Win! Everyone gets 20% off their next Tarte or Commando purchase just for entering so, really – with a flawless face and no risk of showing everyone your goodies – we’re all winners.

America has more name brands than Law and Order reruns and while you may want to go unload your entire check at GAP or Abercrombie, you don’t want to buy something that you thought was cute and unique and later have buyer’s remorse when you see something identical for less.

I’m not encouraging you to start buying knock off Jimmy Choos from Payless and wanna-be BCBG dresses at Walmart (although, just throwing it out there, you may find some very GOOD knock offs). All I’m saying is you should know that EVERY store is competing with another store and when you shop competitively, you save money. Money that you can use to stimulate the economy…or your wardrobe.

So I thought I’d help you sift through the proverbial mall and figure out which stores are best for your budget. Each week I’ll be comparing apples to apples (or undies to undies) to give you the real deal and arm you with the knowledge you need to make the wisest wardrobe choices. Ready. Set. SHOP.

Aerie vs. Victoria Secret Pink
Whoa, didn’t see that one coming did you? In fact, some of you are sitting on your bed thinking, “Are you serious, there is no competition!”or “Those two aren’t even the same.” Well, ladies, think again.

PINK
You know Victoria’s Secret Pink.

History
You’ve been to Pink before so I’m not going to bore you with a description of the store, but here is a little info on that brightly lit store blinding you on your way to Starbucks.

* Since its creation, Pink has been hailed the #1 Loungewear brand in the World (well at least, according to LimitedBrands, the parent company of Victoria’s Secret and Pink).
* In 2008, VS launched their “Exclusive Collegiate Co-branded Collection” and they currently own the rights to more than 33 colleges and universities in the country.
* They are best known for their loose fitting, extra soft sweatpants boasting giant peace signs.
* Some of their most popular items are their PINK tote bags and new, trendy college hoodies.

Pricing
Thong: $9.50 (or 5 for $25)
Bra: (about) $30
T-shirt: $15
Sweatpants: $30 (or 2 for $50)
“Frilly” panties: $9.50 (or 5 for $25)
“Plain” panties: $7.50 (or 5 for $25)
Shoes: $35
Other adorable stuff: $20 (except for that adorable mascot puppy; he’s usually free!)

Now for the competition:

Aerie
It’s new, it’s cute and, YES, it’s competing with VS Pink.

History
* In 2006, American Eagle Outfitters Inc., the parent company of American Eagle Outfitters, launched their “intimates sub-brand,” Aerie.
* They take a more pastel approach to the “dorm-wear” fad
* Their simplistic, yet dainty color schemes of light blues and pinks makes them appeal to less brazen crowd.
* On October 13, 2009, Aerie’s Customer Loyalty Pass (aka their A-List Pass that some of you currently own) surpassed over 1 million in a little over a year, which is pretty big deal for a newer store.
* The ambiance of the store is enough to pull even the most timid shopper in.

Pricing
Thong: $7.50 (or 5 for $25), $10.50 (or 4 for $25) and $12.50 (or 3 for $25). The most expensive individual thong you can buy is $14.50.
Bra: $24
T-shirt: $20 (or BOGO)
Sweatpants: $34.50
“Frilly” panties: $10.50 (or 4 for $25)
“Plain” panties: $7.50 (or 5 for $25)
Shoes: No shoes, they cut those about 6 months ago, but they sell booties and slipper socks that’ll run you about $29.50 each
Other adorable stuff: $ 20

You be the Judge
So, what did YOU guys think? According to survey of 30 girls or so, this is what you guys said:

- 81.8% of you guys said you prefer Pink to Aerie
- Every month, 50% of you girls spend between $25-$75 in Aerie or Pink
- 82.6% of you guys shop at Victoria ‘sSecret more than you do American Eagle.

When asked what you hated or loved about Aerie OR Pink, this is what you said:

“I love Pink because it offers me a variety of retail and it’s fun, flirty, and fresh.”
“Aerie just doesnt appeal to me. Something about it seems rugged and not sexy enough.”
“Sweatpants should never cost $70. Too expensive”
“Aerie is boring”
“I don’t like the way PINK bras fit, they’re too low cut for me and I feel like I’m falling out of them all day.”

At the end of the day, neither store is traditional nor is either store “cheap,” but in both, you can expect to find something that will make you smile and something super comfy to wear to class. Or maybe something you can take off for your male friend later…

What do you have to say? Which do you prefer?

As much as I would love to silently judge your drunken mistakes, I can’t help but  laugh it off, talk about you to my friends and hope that I just caught you after you had a horrible week (which is slightly understandable, right?) However, in most cases, I caught you in your element, flashing the party your new bedazzled thong while sloppily trying to climb up on the beer pong table to dance.  Ohh, here we go…

There are a few ways that you can tell you’re “that mess” the entire party is talking about (but you can’t hear because you’re busy screaming the lyrics of “If You Seek Amy”).

- Dancing with your arms above your head…to every song…on a table.
- Tossing your cookies on people or just barely before reaching the bathroom.
- Falling down (or even up) the stairs in front of everyone.
- Crying over…literally anything and everything
- “Oh my goddd i lovvee you!”
- Not being afraid to make out with that random guy (or girl) for a few pictures.
- Passing out in random places and finding “please insert here” with an arrow pointing down on your stomach when you wake up.
- Slowly disrobing at a rate of… every five minutes or less.
- Finding yourself hugging the toilet bowl at the end of the night tighter than when you hugged your teddy bear a decade earlier

Well, home girl, don’t sweat your already smeared makeup off, because I’m not criticizing!  This letter is for you drunkies who have taught me many valuable lessons from you’re absolutely annihilated nights.  After much observing of your dazed decisions, I don’t want to say “WTF is wrong with you!?” What I really want to say is Thanks.

Thanks for making me look so much better, mature, put together, and all around sexy while standing next to your drunk ass.

Thanks for being brave enough to steal that 40 oz. from the fridge, and then dumb enough to hand it over to me, FO’ FREE!

Thanks for running down the street screaming with just a tank top and jeans on (in 30 degree weather), allowing the cops to easily spot and tackle you before they get to me.

Thanks for leaving your jacket at the party. I love my new fleece!

Thanks for passing out in the bathroom so I could start flirting with the guy you were falling all over all night.

Thanks for drunkenly opening a tab and offering free drinks to everyone standing around you.

Thanks for giving me and my friends something to laugh at that night, and days later.

But most importantly, Thanks for teaching me how NOT to act at a party.

You see, I am not your typical girl who is always on the man-hunt. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I don’t want to meet someone, or enjoy flirting at the bar and the like – it’s just that there are things I L.O.V.E about being a single lady. Things that I’m not so keen on giving up. Things I want to enjoy for as long as possible now before I get married to some dude who thinks a fun weeknight involves South Park and Dutch Oven-ing me.

So here is this weeks Love List: Why all my single ladies love being single.

1) My legs keep me a lot warmer in the winter than my taken friends. I live in Chicago and it is COLD. Actually cold doesn’t even describe it – it’s like an arctic tundra (do those words even go together?). And being single makes that not-s0-bad. How? I love that I don’t have to shave my legs in the winter if I don’t want to. Is it a little embarrassing in yoga when my teacher happens to see that my ankle hair could be braided and beaded like I just spent a week in Jamaica? Sure, but at least my legs keep me warmer than those soft Jergened up legs of yours.

2) I can wear grandma undies whenever I want to. Call me what you will but I am not a fan of thongs and Hanky Pankys are just uncomfortable (yes I said it). I am a happier camper in regular undies and thanks to my single status, there is no one to impress with a lacey piece of floss up my butt.

3) After a long day I can come home, sit on my couch, watch my girly TV shows and my chick flicks without someone saying I have no taste in TV. I can shop online and spend ‘that long’ debating over which color I should get those wedges in. I can play around with makeup, throw different products on my face and spend all day watching The Millionaire Matchmaker while reading fashion magazines and not feel guilty about making someone else do it with me. And I don’t have to pretend that I care about No Country for Old Men. Or knowing every line in Anchorman and quoting it like a religious person quotes the bible.  Because I don’t. I really, really don’t.

4) No Bikini Waxes! (Unless I plan on wearing a bathing suit). This really needs no explanation. Which leads me to my next point…

5) I save a whole lot of moolah which can be used for other things than the painfulness that is overpriced Brazilian waxes. $60 can buy me a lot of things (like said shoes mentioned in #3) so for that I LOVE being single. Sure I may be a little hairier, but I’m also a little bit richer.

What do you LOVE about being single?

Yeah, those were the days. You would sit in class and have no choice but to stare at the ass-crack of the girl in front of you. If you were lucky, she was wearing bikini style underwear. Otherwise, it was nothing but crack.

Well, people got sick of it – especially designers. In order to combat the crack, style makers decided to take jeans higher. Much higher. Enter the high waisted jean; it is very retro, very chic and very in right now.

While I love the lack of gratuitous crack in my life, I am not sure how I feel about the high waisted pant. Yes, Fergie looks great in a pair of high-waisted skinnies, but can all women really pull of this look?

What are your thoughts?

High Waisted Pants: Love em or Hate em?