That said, the idea of engaging in one myself seems daunting. I occasionally like to tease my boyfriend with talk about having a threesome with his favorite model, but imagining myself in a threesome is…difficult at best. However, my inner Girl Scout always wants me to be prepared, so naturally I’ve done some research on how to make a threesome not suck.

Talk it through thoroughly with your partner.
Cover all the bases – the participant, the logistics, the potential emotions…everything. Determine if the third is going to be a guy or a girl. A stranger or a friend? Make sure you have a totally private place that you can make as comfortable as possible. Talk about your worries, your insecurities, the possibility for jealousy, the ramifications of your relationship. Incorporating someone else into your own little intimate world is not something to be taken cavalierly. Make your boundaries abundantly clear – is penetration okay? Vaginal or anal? What body parts are off limits? What about oral? Toys? Role play? It’s important to set detailed ground rules before it happens, so you’re not completely taken aback in the moment.

Make sure you’re totally okay with it.
If the only reason you’re into the idea of a threesome is because your partner has mentioned it, don’t do it. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for everyone involved. Your partner’s happiness can’t override your own.  Moreover, a threesome challenges a lot of our ideas of our sexuality, which can be terrifying and unnerving. But being in a threesome doesn’t necessarily mean anything significant. Sexuality is a spectrum. Being aroused by someone of a sex/gender you’re not usually attracted to doesn’t mean you have to totally re-evaluate your sexual identity. It’s okay to have to work through some hangups before you decide whether or not you’re interested.

Find a good fit.
I’m no threesome expert, but I don’t think the “third” should be someone you are friends with. While it may seem like a great idea — you know the person, trust them, can communicate with them, etc. — I think it would ultimately end up being messy and sloppy and not worth it. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it’s highly unlikely that the dynamics of the friendship wouldn’t be irreparably damaged. Luckily, we have the Internet. Craigslist, Adult Friend Finder, Sexually Social and FetLife are all sites you and your partner can find candidates. Don’t approach this expecting to email someone today and be naked with them tomorrow. Take a few days to correspond, maybe go out to coffee or something to see if the chemistry is there. The best thing about finding someone online is you can be completely straightforward since everyone knows what the endgame is.

Be safe.
Everyone should know everyone else’s STD status. Don’t be afraid to ask for proof. This is your health and it’s super important. Make sure you don’t double dip with condoms. Never use the same condom with two different partners. Make sure you assign a hand to each person so you’re not, um, “cross-contaminating.”

Have realistic expectations.
While, ideally, it would be awesome if all three of you connected seamlessly, and the sex was spectacular, and everyone felt 100 percent amazing about it, there is also the very real possibility that one or more parties is going to feel uncomfortable before, during and/or after. Someone may feel left out and jealous. Someone may have just been totally bored. Someone may have started developing feelings. Sex can stir up a vast spectrum of emotions due to the hormones and chemicals our bodies produce, and it is okay to reflect on your experience and not like it, or to reflect on your experience and want to repeat it. Like everything else, a threesome is just a live and learn experience. It doesn’t have to be a defining experience if you don’t want it to be.

It happens every day.  You log onto Facebook and are confronted with a stream of photos and status updates.  Megan’s going to the mall.  Ben’s fishing with his dad.  Oh, and what’s this?  Chris put his dog in boxers and made it drink beer out of a Frisbee last night.  Here’s hoping he isn’t friends with anyone who works for the ASPCA.

Simply put, people post dumb pictures.  We tend to forget that Facebook is a public place and that often times employers, teachers, and police have access to more things than we think.

If your back-to-campus plan involves drinking, sleeping, hooking up, or any host of questionable activities, here are the pictures you’re better off keeping to yourself:

The Coyote Ugly

The pic of you dancing on the bar the night before you called in sick to your 8 a.m. needs to remain offline. Chances are a TA, professor, or peeved classmate will see it and rat you out.  And really, that’s the least of your problems.  Have you ever seen an actual picture of someone dancing on the bar?  Usually it’s taken from ground level, six inches away from your legs.  This means crotch shots, the underside of your chin(s) and nose, out of proportion ankles that have now become cankles…need I go on?

The Stop, Drop, and Roll

That filthy gutter looks super comfy, no wonder you fell asleep in it while wearing your roommate’s favorite jacket.  She’ll know that “water spot” is really a grease stain from some homeless man’s pizza as soon as she catches a glimpse of you channeling Loca Lohan.  Keeping it off Facebook means keeping roommate relations peaceful.

The “How long can you hold your breath?”

Unless you’re looking for a job as a pearl diver in some third world country, there’s really no reason to show off how long you can go without coming up for air.  The intense PDA pictures need find their way onto your wall of shame, not your Facebook wall.

The Phelps

I’m amazed at how many people think they can get away with posting bong pictures online.  It was posted from your account.  That is your face coming out of a cloud of smoke, no?  And that most definitely is your stupid grin and bloodshot eyes.  So why so surprised when the Office of Student Affairs tries to bust you for having drugs in the dorm?

The Leann Rimes

Does your boyfriend know you were making out with some other dude last night?  Post it on Facebook and he’ll find out soon enough.

The Sam Ronson

Does your boyfriend know you were making out with some other chick last night?  See above.  (Note: May result in relentless threesome propositions.)

Anything involving babies and recreating scenes from The Hangover.

You are not the female Bradley Cooper.  That kid’s name isn’t really Carlos, regardless of how you tag the photo.  Put the baby down and slowly walk away before you’re graduating from the State Pen instead of state college.

Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

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