You got everything you wanted for Christmas. You nailed the New Year’s Eve kiss. Hell, you even celebrated MLK Jr. day with a bang! But in the not so distant future looms the dark abyss on the next page of your calendar—it starts with a V and ends with an –alentine’s day. While your attached friends concoct wish lists from Tiffany’s or stress about dinner reservations on Feb. 14th, you wonder if maybe, just maybe, you’ll be playing footsie with someone special too. So here is a simple guide to finding a guy before—gulp—Valentine’s Day.

Keep your head straight.

Prioritize your goals. Meeting a new guy, as awesome as it theoretically seems, should definitely not be numero uno on your list. No matter how much time and effort you dedicate to searching for your Prince Charming, it won’t pay off if that’s all your interested in. A) You will absolutely come off like that crazy girl from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—and guys just aren’t into that. B) It’s Murphy’s Law that whatever you want will find you exactly when you’re not looking for it. And, most importantly, C) Maintaining your circle of friends, hobbies, talents and already great life in general is what makes you an interesting person in the first place; if you want to meet an interesting guy, don’t you think he’ll have the same expectations of you?

Get Sexy (-er).

Whether you’re already a bona fide bombshell or you’re ready for a complete face/wardrobe/etc., overhaul, getting dressed up to the point where you look HAWT and you know it is an instant guy magnet. Why is this? Well it’s more than your 4- inch stilettos and “ass jeans”—it’s the confidence you radiate knowing that you’re the bomb.com. So whatever you need to do to get yourself in the “You will worship the ground I walk on” frame of mind–be it a blowout, manicure, shopping spree or your favorite perfume—make it a habit before you go anywhere you think you may meet Mr. February 14th…and it could be somewhere you weren’t suspecting. Read More »

I love the fantasy version of dating where everything’s shrouded in a pink mist and it rains sunshine and daisies on you and your perfect mate. Music plays when you kiss, you’re wined and dined, showered with gift boxes from Tiffany’s… and everything’s fantastic because, duh, you’re in love. Or what Dane Cook refers to in many a sketch as “lerve.”

Clearly in Fantasyland there is no concept of money, which is the primary reason I would LOVE to move there and live happily ever after with Christian Bale.

Let’s face it, ladies, the dating game has gotten out of control with expenditures. If you’re doing distance, travel just to see the other person will cost you a small fortune. Between that, the upcoming holiday season, birthdays, anniversaries, Hallmark holidays and oh, remember the generic DATES you’re going on? Yeah those. They’re all costing you.

I admit, there’s nothing more fun than splurging a little on a date-night outfit, heading to a fancy schmancy dinner, going away for a weekend, or getting tickets to a concert or sporting event your new fling would die to see; it makes you happy to make other people happy, I get it. But frankly, unless you’re one of the those lucky bitches who have Mommy and Daddy as your personal piggy bank, odds are you’re young and broke. And more than likely – unless you’re dating up – so is the other person. (Note: Dating up would be the ideal way to do it if money is your concern… I don’t attract these guys, but if you have advice on how to do so, please comment away below. PLEASE.) Read More »

For Christmas one year, my first boyfriend shocked the hell out of me by buying me this beautiful emerald and diamond necklace set in white gold (because he knew how much I hated gold jewelry). I was stunned. And pissed because I had only gotten him a new nice set of knives and a copy of The Ladies Man on DVD. I honestly didn’t think we were close enough for jewelry, or that he even liked me enough to buy me something so obviously gorgeous and expensive.

Turns out, I was right. We broke up two months later amidst screaming fights and accusations and I couldn’t wear that damn necklace anymore, not because I didn’t like it, but because he had given it to me.

I wish ExBoyfriendJewelry.com had been around then, so something good could have come from the whole relationship debacle. On the website, not only can you sell the jewelry that the bastard (or that wonderful guy you f*cked over) gave you instead of giving it back, or throwing it away, or letting it sit in your creepy Jeff shrine, or whatever, but you can also buy jewelry from similarly situated women and give it, in a sense, new life. Read More »