Maybe it’s because I’m done with finals and I have nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s because all of my favorite TV shows are going on hiatus. Maybe it’s because I zoomed through my blogs too quickly this week, but I have to say, I’ve come to a sad realization.

Celebrity scandal is dead.

Think about it. There has been absolutely nothing of interest going on in the world of celebs these past few weeks. Why is Hollywood so quiet? Even Charlie Sheen has been MIA.  Has it finally happened? Has Hollywood finally imploded? Has the well gone dry? Have they run out of stupid things to do? For my sanity, I hope not. Celebs, I beg of you, please continue to entertain me with stories of your crazy.

Please?

Sigh.

Maye a little inspiration will help. Let’s remember some of the greatest celebrity scandals of our time.

If you’re on Facebook and haven’t “un-friended” your ex in a fit of rage, then you still have the luxury of knowing when he’s moved on and whom he’s moved on with. We all dread the moment we see an ex (or in my experience my actual boyfriend at the time…yup, true story), tagged in a questionable photo with a new girl, fearing that the dreaded ‘in a relationship’ heart will be the next step.

Of course we secretly hope that this new chica isn’t a Natalie Portman look-alike, but we also hope she isn’t some kind of Ke$ha-inspired hot mess. Because then you have to question everything. Now, your immediate reaction may be to cry because somehow your ex thought this Amy-Winehouse doppleganger had more to offer than you.

But when you actually start to think about it, laughter is probably a better choice. I mean, seriously dude, what were you thinking!? Would you ask the concierge to downgrade your penthouse suite to a closet-size room? Would you ask the flight attendant to bump your first-class seat to coach? Then, Tiger, Tony Parker, Jesse James, and all the skeezy downgraders of the world, why would you prefer a train-wreck over a girl who’s got it together?

After a lot of frustration and hours attempting to “man-alyze” the situation, I have come up with these reasons to explain why guys downgrade. Read More »

2010 was a year of infinite life lessons, courtesy of celebrities everywhere and impeccable tabloid coverage. Whether you realized it or not, high-profile snafus paved the way for your own indiscretions- showing you what works…and what’ll land you on the cover of Us Weekly next to a salacious headline.

Feel like you missed the message in some of the more important low points of the year? Well pay attention, because here’s a cheat sheet on cheating…and lying…and boozing…and… Read More »

I am sure a little part of all of us wanted to be famous at one point in our lives.  A little piece of my heart wants to sing on ‘American Idol,’ design a dress for an Olympian figure skater (kudos, Vera Wang), or get insulted by Kanye West on live television.  Whichever way you put it, being famous does not seem that bad…but the getting there is tough.  Unless you are Justin Bieber whose ‘getting there’ involved a YouTube video and a cute haircut. Needless to say, I am impressed.

But besides YouTube, there are other ways you can become famous in lightning bolt fashion. If you long to walk red carpets, get chased by paparazzi and rub elbows with Hollywood’s A-listers, take a little advice from these fameballs on how to get real famous, real fast.

Get Fat (Kirsti Alley, Kevin Federline)
It’s been a long time since the woman who found fame on Cheers and later stole my heart in Look Who’s Talking (one of my favorite adolescent movies out there) was the topic of pop culture conversation. That is until she got fat. Then skinny. Then graced the tabloid covers once again grasping a donut and looking into the camera lens with 10 double chins. And now Kirstie’s showing up on Oprah, starting her own weight loss line (??) and starring in, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, a reality show about her quest to lose weight. Again. Read More »

2010 was a year of infinite life lessons, courtesy of celebrities everywhere and impeccable tabloid coverage. Whether you realized it or not, high-profile snafus paved the way for your own indiscretions- showing you what works…and what’ll land you on the cover of Us Weekly next to a salacious headline.

Feel like you missed the message in some of the more important low points of the year?  Well pay attention, because here’s a cheat sheet on cheating…and lying…and boozing…and… Read More »

I like sex.

Okay, I love sex. I prefer to have it multiple times a day. And maybe I enjoy blowjobs more than the average girl (giving 6 a day on a weekend is normal, right?). I’ve had sex in some pretty ridiculous places. Roofs. Cars. Stairwells. I think dressing up and dirty talk are super fun and healthy activities. I kind of get mad if I don’t get it every night. And when I masturbate I can’t stop at just one orgasm (and, trust me, can go upwards of twenty). I unabashedly love porn. I have vibrators and I’m not afraid to use them. The only claim to sexual “shame” I’ve got is that I’ve never had an orgasm from penetration only – but I guess that’s a common thing.

But does that mean I have an addiction? Read More »

Ahh, finally some buzz from the Hollywood hills! The past few weeks have been a bit dull, but now we’re back in action. Elin and Tiger are officially dunzo, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman, and Heidi Montag has sex tapes! So much drama to indulge in. I just hope it doesn’t make me fat.

So here’s the scoop.

Ice Cream Sundae

1. Our favorite felon, Lindsay Lohan, is out of rehab after only 22 days! I don’t know how she managed to skip out on her full three-month sentences in jail and rehab, but girlfriend did it. She’s already raking in some major cashflow post-lockup with companies sending her clothes and offering her deals, like a radio hosting gig in New York with Mama Lohan. Although Lindsay is out of trouble for now, she still has a court date set for her hijacking adventure on January 31, so don’t get too used to that freedom yet, girl!

2. Elin Nordegren is officially rid of Tiger Woods, as a husband that is. They finalized the divorce this week and Elin walked away with a big chunk of cash. Elin made her first and last interview with People Magazine and opened up about the scandal she’s been living through. Tiger released a statement after her interview ran and spoke about how sad the situation is. We agree, it’s sad. For Elin and the kids! Best of luck and props for being so strong!

3. Heidi Montag has a sex tape, and Spencer Pratt is trying to sell it! While everyone’s still debating if their divorce is real, the sex tape certainly is. It’s of Heidi and Hef’s former girlfriend, Karissa Shannon (yeah one of the twins). Karissa is a good friend of Heidi’s and claims Spencer stole her camera, and she says there are other things on there she doesn’t want getting out! Yikes. Also, Heidi is getting her implants removed and she’s terrified that her nose is going to fall off! So sad. I think? Heidi, are you frowning or smiling?

Read More »

Somebody didn’t get to eat their Cracker Jacks for breakfast this year and has a raging and swollen case of the ‘crabby pants.’ That somebody is Mel Gibson.  But crabby pants might be an understatement.  The man is absolutely reserving the Presidential Suite at the Loopy Inn.  If you haven’t listened to any of the four tapes leaking on to the internet lately, take the dive and listen to one. It’s enough to make your skin crawl, not to mention demand a refund for that time you saw Maverick.

I sat in my kitchen in fear (he sounded like a self-possessed man demon) and listened to the man scream into the speaker at his wife: “I deserve to be b***n BEFORE THE JACUZZI!” Yeah, that’s a direct quote. From former heartthrob, Mel Gibson. The only thing this guy deserves before the jacuzzi is a swift strike to the throat and a branded ‘Scum Bag’ mark to his forehead.

I’m so disturbed.

However, since Mel Gibson decided to hit the crazy fan and let the pieces of his racist and terrible existence sprinkle down upon them he is giving some of the raunchiest men in Hollywood a run for their money.  Seriously, Gibson has ranked himself with douchiest men out there and settle into the ranks as a piece of the nastiest scum in Hollyweird’s big toe.  Our question to you is, who is the worst of the bunch now that Gibson has scampered into the ranks and embedded himself into a (hopefully graduating) class of tools? Read More »

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