Maybe it’s because I’m done with finals and I have nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s because all of my favorite TV shows are going on hiatus. Maybe it’s because I zoomed through my blogs too quickly this week, but I have to say, I’ve come to a sad realization.

Celebrity scandal is dead.

Think about it. There has been absolutely nothing of interest going on in the world of celebs these past few weeks. Why is Hollywood so quiet? Even Charlie Sheen has been MIA.  Has it finally happened? Has Hollywood finally imploded? Has the well gone dry? Have they run out of stupid things to do? For my sanity, I hope not. Celebs, I beg of you, please continue to entertain me with stories of your crazy.

Please?

Sigh.

Maye a little inspiration will help. Let’s remember some of the greatest celebrity scandals of our time.

If you’re on Facebook and haven’t “un-friended” your ex in a fit of rage, then you still have the luxury of knowing when he’s moved on and whom he’s moved on with. We all dread the moment we see an ex (or in my experience my actual boyfriend at the time…yup, true story), tagged in a questionable photo with a new girl, fearing that the dreaded ‘in a relationship’ heart will be the next step.

Of course we secretly hope that this new chica isn’t a Natalie Portman look-alike, but we also hope she isn’t some kind of Ke$ha-inspired hot mess. Because then you have to question everything. Now, your immediate reaction may be to cry because somehow your ex thought this Amy-Winehouse doppleganger had more to offer than you.

But when you actually start to think about it, laughter is probably a better choice. I mean, seriously dude, what were you thinking!? Would you ask the concierge to downgrade your penthouse suite to a closet-size room? Would you ask the flight attendant to bump your first-class seat to coach? Then, Tiger, Tony Parker, Jesse James, and all the skeezy downgraders of the world, why would you prefer a train-wreck over a girl who’s got it together?

After a lot of frustration and hours attempting to “man-alyze” the situation, I have come up with these reasons to explain why guys downgrade.

“The Fast-Food Fallacy”- When a guy is really hungry, he’s probably more likely to order a McDonald’s Big Mac instead of driving to a classy sit down restaurant. Well, the same goes for when he’s horny. If you two go to different schools (or in some severe situations, even if your dorms are far away), then chances are that this d-bag downgraded because you aren’t convenient. When he says “you deserve more than I can give you,”  he really means  that he deserves more than Facebook pokes and long-distance sexting. Although little miss-Big Mac is greasy, sloppy, and downright cheap, she probably lives in his dorm which makes her easy and obtainable. Don’t sweat it too much though, we all know Dollar Menu items only lead to clogged arteries and obesity.

“Tiger’s Trigonometric Theory”- We learned in grade school that 5+5= 10. What some guys fail to realize is that two “fives” do not add up to a ten. Neither do five “twos” or ten “ones.”( You heard it Tiger, no amount of IHOP waitresses or strippers will ever equal a supermodel).  By dumping you and sleeping with multiple women this guy probably thinks he’s somehow upgrading. In reality, he is just increasing his chances of getting Chlamydia.

“The Insecure Idiosyncrasy”- Standing next to a hot mess at a bar or party makes you feel good about yourself, right? Well, some guys feel the same way. Exhibit A: Jesse James probably chose a tattooed whore over an Oscar winning actress because he couldn’t stand that Sandra is not only better-looking, but also a lot more successful than him. If a guy is so insecure that he needs a skank to stroke his “ego” (literally and figuratively) than he wasn’t worth it anyway.

“Just Plain Stupidity”- There are certain guys who simply don’t know a good thing even when it climbs up on top of them. (Tony Parker, what the hell were you thinking when you cheated on Eva Longoria?) Everyone knows that if you’re lucky enough to be driving a Mercedes Benz, you don’t take a Toyota Camry out for a spin around the block. And texting, seriously? Didn’t you learn anything from Tiger?

2010 was a year of infinite life lessons, courtesy of celebrities everywhere and impeccable tabloid coverage. Whether you realized it or not, high-profile snafus paved the way for your own indiscretions- showing you what works…and what’ll land you on the cover of Us Weekly next to a salacious headline.

Feel like you missed the message in some of the more important low points of the year? Well pay attention, because here’s a cheat sheet on cheating…and lying…and boozing…and…

[A big thank you to Carlee, a CollegeCandy fan, for sharing her favorite post with us! Let's hope we can all learn something from this....]

I am sure a little part of all of us wanted to be famous at one point in our lives.  A little piece of my heart wants to sing on ‘American Idol,’ design a dress for an Olympian figure skater (kudos, Vera Wang), or get insulted by Kanye West on live television.  Whichever way you put it, being famous does not seem that bad…but the getting there is tough.  Unless you are Justin Bieber whose ‘getting there’ involved a YouTube video and a cute haircut. Needless to say, I am impressed.

But besides YouTube, there are other ways you can become famous in lightning bolt fashion. If you long to walk red carpets, get chased by paparazzi and rub elbows with Hollywood’s A-listers, take a little advice from these fameballs on how to get real famous, real fast.

Get Fat (Kirsti Alley, Kevin Federline)
It’s been a long time since the woman who found fame on Cheers and later stole my heart in Look Who’s Talking (one of my favorite adolescent movies out there) was the topic of pop culture conversation. That is until she got fat. Then skinny. Then graced the tabloid covers once again grasping a donut and looking into the camera lens with 10 double chins. And now Kirstie’s showing up on Oprah, starting her own weight loss line (??) and starring in, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, a reality show about her quest to lose weight. Again.

Sex Tape (Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, etc.)
If I have learned anything about Hollywood it is that a sex tape is worth more than a little extra passion with your boy toy. It’s the easiest, fastest and most fun way to rise to the top of the fame scale. Just look at Kim Kardashian. One day she’s getting down and dirty with Ray J and now she’s on the cover of nearly every magazine, has a TV show, a perfume, a clothing line, millions of dollars in endorsement deals and even gets paid to Tweet.

Sleep with the biggest d-bag in America (Heidi Montag, 15 Tiger Woods Mistresses, Jessica Simpson)
…Or marrying the biggest D-bag in America works too (in Kate Gosselin and Heidi Montag’s case). Regardless, sleeping with super big douche bags has clearly secured many a spot in US Weekly week after week after week. In addition to TV deals (Rachel Uchitel scored a reporting gig on “Extra!”), book deals (do we even have to mention that “book” Speidi wrote?), and an advice column (Ashley Dupre).

Have 100 kids (Kate Gosselin, OctoMom)
If you want to be famous, pop out a small litter. These women did, and now we can’t turn on the TV or read a magazine without seeing their post-baby bodies. Kate Gosselin had her own reality show on TLC, wrote multiple books, and even Danced with the Stars, which, obviously, means she is one. And Octomom? Nadya Suleman has been on the cover of People, appeared on NBC with Ann Curry and Dr. Phil, and even had her own two-hour special on Fox. Thankfully she turned down the offers to star in porn.

Be a good singer…who happens to be really ugly (Susan Boyle)
There are millions of good singers out there, so if you really want to make it you gotta set yourself apart. The easiest way? Look like Mrs. Doubtfire. It worked for Susan Boyle, who went from homely old British lady to having the best selling album in the world in 2009.

Two words: fist pump (Cast of Jersey Shore)
Want to go to the Grammys and get paid to party? All you gotta do is play up some stereotypes, spend your days tanning/doing your hair and you’ll be a millionaire in no time.

Say something REALLY stupid (Caitlin Upton)
“Uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should…” Yeah, we laughed (and cried a little bit) then, but Caitlin Upton is laughing all the way to the bank now. Since that infamous day, Caitlin has appeared at MTV’s VMAs, been on TLC’s King of the Crown, and competed with her boyfriend on The Amazing Race. [Editor's Note: She even got an interview with our hero, Chelsea Handler. Sigh.]

Be an incredible actress plucked from obscurity (Gabby Sidibe)
Obviously not as easy as the others, but there is still a little integrity left in finding fame and if anyone proves that it’s Gabby Sidibe. This incredibly talented woman made her debut on 2009′s Precious and was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress. My hat is off to you, Gabby.

[This story was originally posted by Brittany - University of Saint Thomas]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

2010 was a year of infinite life lessons, courtesy of celebrities everywhere and impeccable tabloid coverage. Whether you realized it or not, high-profile snafus paved the way for your own indiscretions- showing you what works…and what’ll land you on the cover of Us Weekly next to a salacious headline.

Feel like you missed the message in some of the more important low points of the year?  Well pay attention, because here’s a cheat sheet on cheating…and lying…and boozing…and…

[Click on any image to start the gallery!]

I like sex.

Okay, I love sex. I prefer to have it multiple times a day. And maybe I enjoy blowjobs more than the average girl (giving 6 a day on a weekend is normal, right?). I’ve had sex in some pretty ridiculous places. Roofs. Cars. Stairwells. I think dressing up and dirty talk are super fun and healthy activities. I kind of get mad if I don’t get it every night. And when I masturbate I can’t stop at just one orgasm (and, trust me, can go upwards of twenty). I unabashedly love porn. I have vibrators and I’m not afraid to use them. The only claim to sexual “shame” I’ve got is that I’ve never had an orgasm from penetration only – but I guess that’s a common thing.

But does that mean I have an addiction?

I don’t, won’t and never have had multiple partners at once. I’m able to get my work done without being distracted by sex. Of course there are times when I allow myself to wander onto porn when I should be studying, but I would never, ever do that at my job or skip important obligations to do so. I am not hooking up with random guys or guys that I’m not fully committed to. I’m not having dangerous, violent, unsafe or illegal sex. I just really, really, really REALLY like it.

But how much is too much?

I’ve always been very sexually charged in relationships (and again, very safe and exclusive) and even more so on my own. I can still remember my first orgasm like it was yesterday and how I repeated that feeling over and over every day when I was “showering” from age twelve on. I think it got even crazier with my first serious boyfriend in college. I’d had boyfriends but never got intimate with them and then I started mixing alcohol with romance. Once I was able to lubricate (ha ha?) my mind, I started to experiment more. And more. And finally, once I was 100% confident with myself in the bedroom, got even more experimental sans booze. I became uninhibited and wanted to try new things all the time. And my guy at the time was totally comfortable with it, to the point that it made our necessary break-up almost impossible, majorly due to the fantastic sex.

Now, I’ve moved onto a different (again, serious, exclusive) relationship…. with a man who is totally shocked by my behavior in bed. Like, to the point where he’s brought up addiction more than once.

To say it terrified me is akin to saying I sorta like gettin’ it on.  Read: major understatement.
It made me question my sexual side, my desires, my fantasies.

Am I addicted or just super overly sexual?
Is there a difference?

With all these celebs checking into sex rehab and even Doctor Drew creating a show to cure it, it has me wondering and even a little scared if I really do have an addiction. It must be bad if a rehab exists for it, right? And I’m sure I’ve got the symptoms, like when my boyfriend doesn’t want to sleep with me after an exhausting, grueling day and I get mad. Not just irritated, full-blown silent-treatment, crazy girl angry.

The media (and Tiger Woods) tells us that guys are the sex-obsessed ones. Am I an exception to the rule? Am I a “slut” because I indulge in self-pleasure and sexual intimacy with men I’m in love with? Should I change who I am or is there even a problem?

Ahh, finally some buzz from the Hollywood hills! The past few weeks have been a bit dull, but now we’re back in action. Elin and Tiger are officially dunzo, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman, and Heidi Montag has sex tapes! So much drama to indulge in. I just hope it doesn’t make me fat.

So here’s the scoop.

Ice Cream Sundae

1. Our favorite felon, Lindsay Lohan, is out of rehab after only 22 days! I don’t know how she managed to skip out on her full three-month sentences in jail and rehab, but girlfriend did it. She’s already raking in some major cashflow post-lockup with companies sending her clothes and offering her deals, like a radio hosting gig in New York with Mama Lohan. Although Lindsay is out of trouble for now, she still has a court date set for her hijacking adventure on January 31, so don’t get too used to that freedom yet, girl!

2. Elin Nordegren is officially rid of Tiger Woods, as a husband that is. They finalized the divorce this week and Elin walked away with a big chunk of cash. Elin made her first and last interview with People Magazine and opened up about the scandal she’s been living through. Tiger released a statement after her interview ran and spoke about how sad the situation is. We agree, it’s sad. For Elin and the kids! Best of luck and props for being so strong!

3. Heidi Montag has a sex tape, and Spencer Pratt is trying to sell it! While everyone’s still debating if their divorce is real, the sex tape certainly is. It’s of Heidi and Hef’s former girlfriend, Karissa Shannon (yeah one of the twins). Karissa is a good friend of Heidi’s and claims Spencer stole her camera, and she says there are other things on there she doesn’t want getting out! Yikes. Also, Heidi is getting her implants removed and she’s terrified that her nose is going to fall off! So sad. I think? Heidi, are you frowning or smiling?

4. Paris Hilton almost got robbed while she was in bed! The man, Nathan Lee Parada, broke in to Paris’ house and had two knives in his hands. Scary! He’s being held on charges of felony burglary and has a $50,000 bail. Sources say that Paris’ boyfriend, Cy Waits, pulled a gun on Nathan and held him until the police arrived.

5. Ryan Seacrest is trying to line up a radio show for Larry King. Larry’s show on CNN will be turned over to Piers Morgan. Ryan knows how much money he could make off of a Larry King show doesn’t want Larry out of the game just yet, so he’s using his resources to get Larry a new gig. Long live the King!

Freezer Burned Neopolitan

1. Our favorite pussy Nicole Scherzinger will be appearing on How I Met Your Mother as Jessica Glitter, the rival of former pop star Robin Sparkles. If you don’t watch the show, you’re dumb missing out.

2. Betty White won an Emmy for her hosting gig on SNL and her new show Hot In Cleveland is the number one sitcom this year! Congrats!

3. Lady Gaga is getting a wax figure at Madame Tussauds! Hopefully it will look just as fab as Lady Gaga herself.

4. The Kardashian-Jenner clan are receiving the Key to Beverly Hills at the Taste of Beverly Hills food and wine Festival on September 2nd! Turns out, it’s not so hard to nab that thing after all.

5. Enjoy hottie Joseph Gordon-Levitt on a bike for a scene in his new movie, Premium Rush. Yummy!

Somebody didn’t get to eat their Cracker Jacks for breakfast this year and has a raging and swollen case of the ‘crabby pants.’ That somebody is Mel Gibson.  But crabby pants might be an understatement.  The man is absolutely reserving the Presidential Suite at the Loopy Inn.  If you haven’t listened to any of the four tapes leaking on to the internet lately, take the dive and listen to one. It’s enough to make your skin crawl, not to mention demand a refund for that time you saw Maverick.

I sat in my kitchen in fear (he sounded like a self-possessed man demon) and listened to the man scream into the speaker at his wife: “I deserve to be b***n BEFORE THE JACUZZI!” Yeah, that’s a direct quote. From former heartthrob, Mel Gibson. The only thing this guy deserves before the jacuzzi is a swift strike to the throat and a branded ‘Scum Bag’ mark to his forehead.

I’m so disturbed.

However, since Mel Gibson decided to hit the crazy fan and let the pieces of his racist and terrible existence sprinkle down upon them he is giving some of the raunchiest men in Hollywood a run for their money.  Seriously, Gibson has ranked himself with douchiest men out there and settle into the ranks as a piece of the nastiest scum in Hollyweird’s big toe.  Our question to you is, who is the worst of the bunch now that Gibson has scampered into the ranks and embedded himself into a (hopefully graduating) class of tools?

Tiger Woods: Ok, I understand his “sex addiction” super horny feelings took him to the trashiest woman’s bed side, our entire nation caught him and he should be shunned behind his golf visor forever. The man with the hottest wife of all time actually sacrificed his relationship to bump uglies with a slew of tattooed tramps! But his dirty/gross/sexual text messages to his naughty nymphos were nothing compared to the abusive/racist/despicable things Mel has been caught muttering.

Charlie Sheen: Ugh, while Sheen has proved that the third time’s a charm by assaulting (not one) but three women, Gibson’s charming three are racism, verbal assault, and psycho tendencies.  Oh, and four recordings proving his a-hole movement. It’s in the numbers: Mel is definitely skipping down A-hole Avenue hand and hand with the Sheen-erator.

Chris Brown: He’s a sleaze. He’s gross. He did something so awful that should never be forgiven. (You listening, RiRi?)  But as time (not so gracefully) passes for Chris Breezy,  Mel Gibson is stealing his thunder while abusing his girlfriend both physically and emotionally . Plus, there is a baby in the mix. You know CB is sitting at home thinking, “I wonder if my boy Mel will help me fork garbage in ditches.”

Al Gore: Mr. Global Warming may have unraveled an inconvenient truth while trying to seduce his massage therapist (whoops), but the jury is still out on whether this tale is true.  Mel Gibson’s solid recorded evidence makes tales about Gore’s possible ‘DNA’ markings on his massage therapist’s pants look mediocre.

Jesse James: The guy’s Nazi “costume” was in bad taste, but images fade and Gibson’s angry and racist rants will forever haunt his existence.

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