Living with friends is fun and there’s (almost) never a dull moment.  There’s no awkward “Hi, I’m Alex” stage where you don’t know really how to act around your new roommate and none of that awkward/hesitant asking “if it’s okay if your roommate, you know, turns off the lights because it’s four in the morning, maybe.”

When you live with your best friends, it’s totally acceptable to cut loose and dance and sing at the top of your lungs to Ke$ha. Living with friends is fun, carefree, exciting. I wouldn’t change living with my friends for the world. On the other hand, living with a random roommate also allows you to experience new people and hang out with a different crowd.  It can be refreshing, enlightening and you may even gain a new friend out of your random housing assignment. But eventually, with any roommate no matter if she’s a friend or random, disaster strikes because you left your hairbrush out for the third time in a row.

Here are some tips to keep your roommates happy:

Do have roommate nights. Grab a bowl of popcorn, sit on the couch, or your extra long twin bed, and put in a chick-flick. My roommates and I always have Gossip Girl Mondays. Having these nights keeps your bond strong; it’s an easy way to break away from some of the stress of school, especially when it’s midterm week and you don’t say a word to your roommate because you’re cramming for your Chemistry test.

Don’t blast music when your roommate is studying. We’ve all been there—you have an exam in each 3 of your classes and an essay due, it’s 1am and the library is too far of a trek. You are focused, in the study-zone and your roommate decides to have people over for a power hour. Great. Treat your roommate the way you would want to be treated, so respect that she needs some silence and one day she will return the favor.

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Amidst naked trees, pee on the toilet seat, and icy treks from the shower to the dorm room, the happy charm of college is beginning to wear thin.

Right now, I just want to go home and watch Desperate Housewives with my mom and not wear flip-flops in the shower! Ah, such are the woes of homesickness.

While this time is not as bad as the last time homesickness hit (sixth grade 3-day sleep away camp. . .never again), it certainly has taken its toll. Recently, I’ve found myself creeping through my high school albums on Facebook an unhealthy amount, as well as reading up on news from Cincinnati (my hometown) that I otherwise wouldn’t care about (apparently a fire halted production of a local potato chip company…).

I’m sure my lovely suitemates are already starting to get annoyed with my constant “I miss Ohio!” and variations of it — so what do I do to combat it?

It definitely helps to stay in touch with friends from back home. Because Thanksgiving break is so near, I know a lot of friends and I are already planning times to hang out over that week. We have happy coffee breaks, shopping trips and ole-fashioned sleepovers planned. It’s a nice, fuzzy feeling to realize that you have things to look forward to and people to meet up with when you go back.

Also, I’ve found it helps to call my mom sometimes. She helps on two levels: First, she happily agrees to cook my carefully selected menu for the week I’m home—nothing beats Mom’s Chinese dumplings. But perhaps more importantly, she fills me in on the fact that absolutely nothing is happening back at home. None of my friends are in town and the weather is just as cold there as it is here. My car is still sitting idle in our driveway and the kids who still go to high school still have to wake up at 6 in the morning to catch the bus.

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"Dear Freshman Me. Let me start by saying, damn girl, you look good! That being said, avoid the soft serve. For real."

Dear Freshman Self,

Live.  Wildly, recklessly, and with as much passion as you can muster. Make out with your RA during welcome week.  Accept one last drink from the cute guy working the keg.  Stay out after the bars close.  Make friends with the cab driver.  Lie in the middle of the street laughing with your best girls.  Watch The Notebook at 3 a.m when you’re all drunk and have a good cry over failed relationship attempts.  Curse the cute guys for being gay.  Get up on the damn stage and sing some freakin’ karaoke already.

Notice the true moments.  Wake up in the middle of the night for the first snow of the season and watch the city turn white with your roommates.  (During this, you might even want to put on John Mayer’s underrated, though classic, “St. Patrick’s Day” and sway arm in arm while singing along.)  Find “your” desk in the library.  Watch Grey’s Anatomy every week because you never know when a good thing can turn bad (hint: third season).  Sit on top of the washing machines and have life chats with that random girl from upstairs.  She’ll end up being one of your best friends.

Be careful.  Don’t use that fake ID you found.  You don’t look 28 and you’re certainly not a Pacific Islander.  Observe Cinco de Mayo, but be cautious of the tequila…that one doesn’t end well for you.  No private planes, no matter what.  Study.  All the men you’ll ever date will have the same name – run now from the first one in a curious line of many.  Get mad, but don’t stay mad.  Shopping isn’t always the answer.

Let yourself off the hook.  So you sleep through your first exam of college.  So you crush on a gay guy for an entire semester. So you have a blowout with your roommates.  So you eventually do sing on karaoke night and it’s a train wreck.  So you throw up Chipotle and Jose Cuervo on the basket of shoes under your bed.  So you spend all your money.  So you get a D+ in Italian. So you got on that plane.  So you dated him.

Go to class.  Call your mother.  You’ll be fine.

XoXo

Your Senior Self

What would your letter to your freshman self say? Share it below!

I am sort of floundering right now. Not in the sense that I am stressing like crazy and not getting enough sleep and having breakdowns and silently weeping into the shoulder of my freshman counselor. It’s a much more passive type of floundering. It’s a kind of floundering where I am feeling great and happy to be alive when all of a sudden I remember that, just outside of this bubble of happiness I’ve created, is a mysterious void of terrifying things called The Rest of my Life.

I mean, high school was easy. All throughout high school, I had one goal: Get into a good college. I knew I had to turn in my homework, to get A’s on tests, to play sports, take on leadership positions, etc. Everything I did, I did with the idea of, will this help me get into college?

Except then during senior year, I felt like that was complete crap and embraced my inner crunchy granola self and spiraled more into the question of does this really matter?

And that’s the mentality I’ve come into college with. For the first time in my life, I am no longer shooting towards a singular goal. It’s like, I’ve always been told to go up a mountain, but now that I’m on top I realize that I’m on a precipice looking into an ocean that is infinite. I have to jump in, but where do I even swim?

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Halloween in college is a big deal.  Major, really.  You may have thought you hit your trick-or-treating peak in the 3^rd grade when you wrapped yourself in tinfoil and went out as leftovers, but think again.  Unlike Christmas, the 4^th of July, and Thanksgiving, everyone’s on campus for this most hallowed of evenings and the booze will absolutely be flowing (perhaps in cauldrons).

From fog machines to technicolor jello shots, there’s a lot of stimuli to process and as a freshman it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  But novice or otherwise, you’ve got to keep your head, wigged or otherwise, in the game.  Here’s what you can expect as your favorite bars and frat houses become unrecognizable with silly string…

A General Lack of Pants
From dozens of Risky Business-era Tom Cruises to sexy cats/bees/fairies/mice, there will be maximum leggage come October 31^st.  I’m not sure what it is about “everyone dress up crazy” that translates to things being purely pants-optional, but it’s a fact: ass cheeks will show, cellulite will be on parade, hairy man thighs will make a one-night-only appearance.

Dry Ice
Is it edible?  Will it kill you?  Why did those stupid pledges have to go stick it in the jungle juice and ruin a perfectly good concoction?  No, it doesn’t look like witches’ brew.  And the fact that he’s 22 and just drew that connection makes you question his sanity.

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[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt. That is, until midterms season hits, of course.]

So I’m new at this whole midterms thing. The idea that I’ve been more or less lounging around for the past 6 weeks and then – wham! – I’m hit with a test that’s worth 40% of my grade…that’s kind of crazy.

Needless to say, this past week has been an acne-inducing, sleep-lacking, chocolate-eating cram week. But, terrible as it was for my complexion and caloric intake, I have to say that this week has definitely taught me some things about studying.

First, it’s much easier to not stress about midterms if you actually know what’s going on in class. I’ve been going to class, but this was definitely problematic for a lot of my classmates. In a lecture of 400 people about something as non-stimulating as econ, it’s easy to doze off. But unfortunately, while you are dreaming about your next Halloween costume, your professor is actually saying important things. Even though my professor puts his notes online, so many of his notes are things where you have to fill in graphs and equations that you learn about in class. Bottom line, try your best not to fall asleep in class and then have to teach yourself everything the week before the exam. Read More »

Dear Residents,

Now that your boxes are unpacked and you’ve begun sneakily drinking and smoking illegal substances in your rooms, I feel it is time we had a little chat. There are a few things that we need to get clear right now so that we can all happily coexist for the remainder of the year.

I’d discuss all this in a hall meeting but it seems damn near impossible to find a time that works for everyone (even though we all agreed to that one time and then only 9 of you showed…awesome), so I’ll do it here instead. Lord knows you spend most of your day reading online anyway….

So here goes:

1.  I am NOT out to get you in trouble. In fact, I do everything I can to help you not get in trouble, because it makes my life easier. Every single time that I have to write somebody up for quiet hours violations, drinking in the dorms, or whatever stupid rule is being broken, that instantly translates to extra paperwork that I have to do. Plus, let’s face it (for the most part) I like my residents, and I don’t want to make your life any harder either. Not to mention that I don’t agree with these rules any more than you do. Seriously, why in the world should someone be sent to judicial for playing their music a little too loudly at night?! That’s bulls**t in my opinion, but I’m not the one who made the rules – I just got stuck enforcing them as part of my job. Read More »

Freshman year is an incredible experience. For many, it’s the first taste of Keystone freedom, the first foray into frat parties out into the world. You‘ll drink with meet people from all walks of life. You’ll quickly wonder how you ever survived without your newfound friends.

But be warned: for every awesome new friend that you make, you’ll find yourself face to face with an enemy. Not a “sleep with one eye open” enemy; more like a “OMG I want to gouge out my eyes whenever you come near me” type.

Here are my personal picks for people to avoid: Read More »

[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting, and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since dark chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter cups.]

So I’m 3 weeks into my bright college years, and in between realizing that I have Spanish homework to do at 1 in the morning and figuring out how trash piles up so quickly when clearly I took out the garbage like, a day ago, there are plenty of Solo cups and pregaming parties to keep my thoughts occupied.

In the past year, I passed through the rookie stage of drinking. You know, getting over the fact that drinking isn’t such a big deal after all (I know some may beg to differ, which I totally respect, but step off for a sec, darlings) and then advancing into classic teen movie, drink up mode. It was like I was Cady Heron (a la Mean Girls) being de-innocentized, except minus The Plastics. There were chill house parties, high-ish quality alcohol bought by nice older siblings, and then classic senior year, I-don’t-give-a-f**k debauchery. Getting to a stage of happy drunk was part of the whirlwind of senior year and really, part of the fun. But I was good about it – no blacking out and never even vomiting.

So coming to college, I was under the impression that it would be the same, but something about drinking here just doesn’t feel settling to me. The glowy halo of happiness that surrounded drinking just totally disappeared.

I know, totally weird, right? Because, like, obviously drinking is much simpler here. There aren’t quite as many repercussions when you get caught, alcohol is pretty much readily available, and the number of boys who you would willingly drunkenly hook-up with has gone through the freakin’ roof. Read More »

No one likes a hot mess.  Okay, well that’s not exactly true.  We looove LocaLohan and anyone who has been an E! True Hollywood Story, but when it comes to college it’s best to leave the crazy work to the professionals.

This means your roommate doesn’t want to disrobe your unconscious body at 3 a.m., the girls down the hall don’t want to carry you naked into the shower, and you don’t want to clean up your vom from under the bed the following morning.  The first week of school is when you’ll be at your most susceptible to making such novice mistakes.  You’re new, you’ve yet to fall victim to the Freshman Fifteen, and the older guys are taking full notice of these facts.

Stay in your hallmates’ good graces and prevent the puke with these oh-so-simple drinking Dos and Don’ts…

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