This morning, a post over at Em and Lo caught our eye. They featured a comment from one of their readers on a post about oral sex. To be more exact, it was a post called “How Do I Tell My BF He Sucks at Oral?” Here’s what the comment said:

I’m an Old Guy, 70 to be exact. I have over 50 years of experience going down on women, and I can say without hesitation that each woman is different. Patience young men (and young women, too!), patience and a willing heart combined with a woman who feels SAFE telling you what she wants and can do so clearly…that is the key to bring many women to peak passionate release. For me there is nothing quite like pleasing a woman; first learning about her, and then pleasing her.

I want younger men and women to know that when I say practice and learning and all that, that I am not talking about years or even months. You can earn – as I did – the appellation of “an educated tongue” within a few hours or a few days. I was 23 when I was told for the first time – post cunnilingus, of course – that I had an “Educated Tongue.” And she wasn’t talking about linguistic facility in Mandarin. But she WAS talking about communication, that is communication between us via my tongue, lips, chin (yes boys, chin) and…this may be the most difficult to imagine without guffawing: my nose. (Settle down, Children, settle down…)

Now using virtually all of your facial features to pleasure a lady may seem not only far-fetched but just plain weird, but I’m trying to stir your imaginations; women are happy if you just learn to use your tongue intelligently and passionately (really truly enjoy what you are doing, Boys!). But if you’re willing to put in the time, then you may one day be able to surprise your woman with a double-tucking chin push followed by a nose-over combination double-twisting tongue-flip. That’s what took me fifty years to perfect! And I am only being slightly silly there, Lads. Some of those things I can actually still do!

My first reaction was that this is kind of great. If only all guys were really willing to take the time to figure out how best to satisfy the lady they’re with! But then I got a little creeped out. This guy is almost old enough to be my grandpa! And thinking of cute little old men performing oral sex is just…a little weird for me. But you know what? I’m sure that if I were a 70 year old lady, I would love to find a guy like that. So I think I can forgive him for the over-share, and I’ll try my best to push the creepy thoughts away.

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

[Lead image via Pinkcandy/Shutterstock]

It seems to me that cell phone etiquette is a thing of the past for this generation. From libraries to public transportation, everyone is always on his or her phone and they’re always being very rude about it. As a misanthrope I find everything about society to be extremely irritating but overheard phone conversations really grinds my gears. Who’s with me? All of you? Ok!

Lets evaluate the top ten most annoying conversations to overhear and make fun of those guilty of them.

initiating the gallery...

I’m new to writing this column, but I have to admit that I  already adore it. I’ve always loved being able to be open and honest about sex – sharing a bit of opinion and a bit of fact about what makes us tick sexually. But this week I’ve hit a snag. You see, pretty much everyone I know reads this column – my dad (hi dad!), his journalist friends, my family, my friends, and because I post links on my Facebook, there’s the potential for past teachers, my boyfriend’s family and family friends to read it too.

Of course, any kind of exposure is great, and I’m grateful that so many people are interested in reading my work, but then I realize – what am I comfortable with sharing? The short answer is really everything; I’m more than comfortable with my sexual proclivities.  But I keep remembering something my sex-columnist-hero, Dan Savage, has said many-a-time: there are some things that parents, teachers, and family friends have a right not to know.

Then I realized that this isn’t just a problem that plagues sex columnists. Any sexually active person faces the same dilemma – what’s okay and not okay to share? Since my first sexual experiences in high school, I’ve always had the problem of well…over sharing a tad. I guess I just chalked it up to girl talk — don’t best friends always swap stories of their sexual escapades? After all, it’s kinda nice to show off! What’s the fun if it has to be a secret? But I realized pretty quickly that some people just don’t want to know. And that’s okay. Forcing someone to listen to a play-by-play of what happened in bed last night is just as inappropriate as doin’ it with the door open when your roommate is home (I haven’t, Mal.. I swear!).

That being said, when you’re in a committed relationship, it comes down to a mutual respect when it comes to swapping stories. After you’ve been with someone long enough, embarrassing things are bound to happen. When you let someone get that close to you (and I mean, you can’t get any closer than being inside of someone/having someone inside of you), there’s not much you can hide. Being in a relationship gives you a feel of what’s okay and what’s not okay to share. For instance, I don’t mind (in fact, I kind of love it) when my boyfriend tells his friends about the crazy things I “make” him do (yeah right…) or how great something was that we tried. But to the same token, if he were to tell people about really personal things — like the things I say or the sounds I make, I would be not so impressed. But we’ve figured that out and agree that the same “telling” rules go for both of us — and problem solved.

It helps if you look at having a sex life as a kind of privilege. If you treat your partners like pieces of meat or characters on The Real World, chances are they won’t be coming back for more. As much as I like to talk (er, show off… either way), I’d take excellent, stable, private sex over crappy sex I can tell the world about any day.

When it comes to my “work” here, I think in order to do the best job writing Sexy Time as I possibly can, I need to open up and accept any discomfort that comes from the people I know who read it. If you don’t want to know, you don’t have to read. But since I only know my own experiences, it would be a lie to write about anything else. I haven’t gotten any complaints yet – so I’m just going to take it as it comes.

When it really comes down to it, what gets divulged is just about personal preference and your relationship with the person you’re talking about. I’ll admit it – I’ve told some things that really should’ve been kept private. People have done the same to me, and it’s not a good feeling. So the next time you’re sitting in the living room in your sweats with messy hair, talking to your ladies after your sexy buddy leaves the building, you’ve gotta think how you would feel if the situation was reversed.

How do you guys feel? How much is too much to share? Does it change when you’re in a relationship? Tell me what you think!

This week’s Wall of Shame contains some of the most horrifying status updates that have appeared on our readers’ (and my own) Facebook walls… this week. Because – come on, people – we don’t need to know how many times you poop a day, or exactly how many credits you had to complete at community college to get your degree.

You know you’ve got people like these in your newsfeed. Send the worst statuses you see to FBWallOfShame@CollegeCandy.com. Then send the perpetrator a link to this article. Consider it a community service.

Heartbroken Harry wonders why the ones who are SO convincingly nice and awesome ALSO turn out to be a**holes. WOW.

Girl Whose Updates Consist Solely of What Her Dog Does Getting Dooney out of bed to play in the snow is next to impossible. She just looks at me and then lays back down. She is such a teenie-bopper. I literally put her leash on and tried to pull her out of bed with no luck, the bed would have had to go on a walk also!

TMI Tina why have i already sh*t 4 times today?
Concerned Commenter why are you posting this on facebook?

Too-Old-For-Facebook Tammy Not happy to discover the beginning of wrinkles on my face the day of my 10-year high school reunion. There better be some horrible lighting at that restaurant!!

Girl Who Graduated (Community) College But Still Can’t Spell Assistant 5 Semesters @ MVCC + 3 college courses from High School. A total of 67 credit hours. An accumulative GPA of 3.0 = My Associates Degree in Administrative Assitant.

Angry Alyssa and who are you to tell me how to conduct myself? why don’t you practice safe sex and go F**K yourself.

Annoying Countdown Girl 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! 2 days! …

Jealous Jessie you may be prettier, have bigger tattoos, and get drunk all the time, but i have this on you. all those things are going to get you no where, and i actually have a future. so stick that in your juice box and SUCK IT

Bragging Betty today was a 100% great day! spent some time with [friend] and [friend], got an amazing performance review from my internship, got 100/100 points on my final portfolio, got a great set up from College Success Connection, and a cutie made me smile today!!! now going to work on a paper but i am going to Ace it so I am ok with that!!!!!

Bad Choices Becca I’m gonna get a DUI on the drive home right now. F**kkkk

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good.

Is all this over-sharing about our drug, drink, and sexual exploits really helping women cultivate a strong, intelligent persona? Do we feel more empowered now that Britney, Lindsay, and Paris have made trashy the new black? Are our lives more complete now that we know what David Beckham had for breakfast?

These aren’t rhetorical questions. As a twenty-something myself, I really want to know:

In this age of over-sharing, are you confident about yourself and your image? Are you proud of how we as women have represented ourselves in the media?

Vote in our poll, and write in our comments — this is your chance to tell the world exactly how you feel.

Speaking of TMI, I already knew the J. Bros wore promise rings. Whether Disney put a (metaphoric) gun to their head, or they really all want to wait until marriage to get it on, I never thought much about the religious implications behind those rings. Yes, certain devout Christian peeps tend to hang onto their V-cards longer than a lot of us, but I never assumed the Jonas Bros were trying to impart any kind of religious message on the impressionable youth of this sugar-pop obsessed country.

I assumed wrong.

At least according to Fox News.

The little video below — from everyone’s favorite Republican news station — illustrates a rather lackluster and idiotic debate between some lady I’ve never head of and some chick who was an MTV VJ when I was still in training pants. Their argument, whether the Jonas brothers are good for America or are going to give us figurative cavities — is stupid and subjective. The real interesting part are the titles underneath the boring people.

The first title, “Christian Controversy: Jonas Bros Openly Pro-Jesus”, and the second one a little later “Christian Teen Stars: Getting Bashed Unfairly?” are either grossly overblown or actually kind of newsworthy. Are the Jonas Brothers really openly Pro-Jesus? Are they truly promoting the Christian lifestyle? Are the kids of this Nation — many of whom aren’t Christian (I know, surprise, surprise!) being covertly fed conservative Christian ideals? Is Disney as a company promoting conservative Christianity??!

Or is Fox News just attempting to make it seem that way?

PS: the best part of this video is the fact that the music the Jonas Brothers pump out is called “punk rock“. Oh Fox News. Totally in touch with today’s youth.

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