When walking around campus, you see her. She’s rocking the casual look like it’s nobody’s business. And she’s doing it well. Her bootcut jeans are accompanied by a perfectly worn-in t-shirt layered under a zip up hoodie. She’s wearing black Converse or a pair of well-worn sneakers, the laces tight enough to keep them on, but loose enough to allow her to slip in and out of them easily. Her haircut is low maintenance, but totally chic.  She’s rocking plastic rimmed glasses, no contacts; a watch, no jewelry.

You don’t know her, but you want to.

This is one co-ed who has got it together. She is the kind of girl who is naturally pretty, has a killer body and is completely oblivious to it. She is friendly, kind, and her easygoing, low maintenance attitude makes it easy to get along with her. Even her professors are drawn to her, always chatting with her before class and helping her after.

She has a large circle of friends, filled with a variety of different types of people. Girls love her, guys love her, nerds love her, athletes love her. And though you don’t know her, you kind of want to love her too.

She is funny without being raunchy, boyish but not butch. She prefers drinking beers in a pub to shakin’ her thang at the club.  She’s comfortable at a Death Cab for Cutie concert, but has no problem listening to The Beach Boys or the Avenue Q soundtrack.

She rocks her GPA, has a hot (yet totally down to earth and awesome) boyfriend, and seems to excel at just about everything she puts her mind to…without getting frazzled.

In short, this girl just exudes cool. And as she walks by, you aren’t sure which you want more: to know her or to be her.

[Photo courtesy of Wild Rose on Flickr]

We know that Halloween is a great excuse for girls to dress likes whores without being judged by their peers, but isn’t this going a bit too far? I mean, come on; the other dogs are gonna sniff her ass even if she wasn’t wearing a super short skirt.

Unless, of course, there is some freakish fetish behind all this. Somehow we think we will be seeing this again… on Dateline.

It’s not that I don’t want to see what my wonderful leader is up to, it’s more like I don’t think I need to see it through Facebook. I would love to visit her at her nursing home and hear all about her there.

And even though everyone is allowed to have a Facebook nowadays doesn’t mean they should have them. I’m allowed to buy Depends, but it doesn’t mean that I am going to start wearing them. I work very hard at participating in age appropriate things and I wish everyone else would follow my lead.

No matter who the over-aged friender is, I’ve learned they all share three traits in common.

1. Over-usage of applications

Immediately after accepting their friend request (and putting them on the most limited profile possible) they start throwing vampires, sending goblins, and flinging hug requests. I’m forced to spend more time blocking applications than stalking people’s wall-to-walls. And it seems that for every application I block, five more spring up in its place. Yesterday I blocked the hug-me application request and today I woke up with 14 new requests from the hugger application, huggiest application, huggable application, and hug thrower application. I don’t even know what hug-throwing could possibly mean but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal in at least 34 states.

2. Unnecessary Friend Details

Literally seconds after I’m friended by the undesirables they send the most specific friend details. “I babysat you in 1989 and I changed your diaper 3 times!” Or, “I was the 2nd grade chorus teacher that made you lipsync during the annual Holiday concert.” I used to think they were sending these uber-detailed friend requests to be funny; now I just assume that they send them to remind themselves on a daily basis who I am. I guess the details are the Ginko Biloba pills of Facebook. Either way I never accept them. I like to hope it makes their day a little more eventful since they have to remember who I am every single time they log on.

3. Baby Albums

If you are old enough to be putting albums of your children on Facebook, you don’t belong on Facebook. End of story. Shouldn’t these parents be doing something with their kids instead of posting their daily baths on Facebook (yep, I’ve seen a baby-bath time album…and now I feel like I should be on To Catch a Predator). Not only do they have baby albums, but they sometimes make their actual profile picture a photo of their kid. Every time that happens I freak out because there is always that split second when I’m like, when did I friend a baby?

I miss the days when Facebook was only for the young, fun and college educated. What happened to that? Get off Facebook, oldies!b