Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.

This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously.

The Gold team ended up winning the tearjerker, which sent the Green team into a hizzy. I guess they lose a lot? I felt bad for them, especially that dude who has like no nose hairs left because he plucked them all out attempting to tear up.

So, after the competition everyone decides to get completely sh*tfaced and dance around topless throwing food at one another. Meanwhile, some dude is trying to save Destiney (cuz the whole team hates her), but gets mad cuz his brilliant plan doesn’t work.

The Gold captain (Paymaster?) now has some sort of power to take three people out and figure out which one she wants to save. (Note: choosing someone to leave is also called being “bounced.” Like a check? Get it? How cute!) And in attempts to stay in the game, some blonde chick with big boobs tries to make out with her. Toasty (what does that name even mean?) and the three people chosen by the Green team (Destiney, Real and Brandi C.) head out to the beach and go snorkeling.

And there are sharks. But I don’t care about that. I need to know: WHO IS GONNA STAY??? (Notice the sarcasm.)

There is some talking and then Real gets some one-on-one time with Toasty. The conversation did nothing except make me wonder if there is something wrong with that girl. Like, mentally. Is she slow?

Ok, so (finally!) after a load of wasted time watching people fight and stupid commercials, we find out that it’s time for Destiney to bounce. Goodbyyyyyye, Destiney!

And with that, I hate myself. I want that hour of my life back. I want my dignity back. I want everyone at the gym to know that I was only watching that show for work. NOT for pleasure.

Never again. Never.

First off, the challenge consisted of going up on a bed-like crane structure, above water and battling it out one-on-one with pogo-peg sticks, used to pummel each other in the head and body. Rodeo and Destiny were team captains, making it a huge bitch fest when it came to picking five people for each team to battle each other.

Rodeo’s gold team lost to Destiny’s Green Team, but not after Mr. Boston beat the crap out of Nibblz, claiming that he was so excited to have this “sexual experience” of wrestling a girl in a bed, 50 feet in the air.

My favorite part of the episode however, was when the teams had to pick out the three weakest people and Destiny – being the team captain of the winning team – got to decide who to eliminate, but not before taking out the three weakest players: Nibblz, Toasty and Pumkin, out to a Mexican fiesta lunch.

Toasty and Pumkin – television’s two classiest ladies (the porn star and award winning spitter) formed an alliance before the luncheon to convince Destiny that, because they’re weaker competitors than Nibblz, to keep them in the game and kick Nibblz to the curb. Plus, as Toasty said regarding Nibblz getting her kicked off Flavor of Love for her porn activities, “payback’s a bitch.”

The four girls talked, (drank, obvi), ate and danced, while plotting their scheme to stay in the house. Toasty faked an ankle injury and Pumpkin cried to Destiny about an eating disorder. Nibblz didn’t feed into the game and, just as the others predicted, was sent packin’. Regardless of the way it happened, considering Nibblz was the one to lose the game for them after all her trash talking about kicking Mr. Boston’s ass, she was the right person to send home.

Looking forward to watch next week which starts off with The Entertainer telling dumb-bo Megan to take a hike, bikini and all. Not to mention, the little love triangle between Destiny, – America’s favorite groupie – Heat and The Entertainer.

(picture courtesy of vh1.com)