Apparently there are worse things about prison than toothbrush shanks and dropping the soap. More specifically: the Kardashians. The high-profile, high-drama family has caused “emotional distress” for one inmate after being forced to watch both Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. The real kicker is this: he’s suing.

All silliness aside, it’s an understandable accusation. Anyone who’s watched a Kardashian marathon knows what it can do to the soul.

Kill it.

And that got me thinking – first about why this family has not one but two shows in the first place, and then about the idea of using really bad TV as a form of punishment. Because with all that dribble we’ve got going on these days, there is no better way to make a wrong-doer suffer.

19 Kids and Counting: It’s like the Brady Bunch on steroids without the fun parts (hard to imagine). 19, 20, 97 Kids and Counting… it’s enough to make anybody celibate for 25 to life.

Shaq VS: Having to watch the self proclaimed Shaqtastic, Shaqtacular Jolly Culturally Irrelevant Giant attempt to beat sports pros – and lose – would be torture. It’s just flat out ridiculous. He couldn’t even beat Justin Bieber (I wish I was joking).

Deal or No Deal: You think you’re not interested. Then all of a sudden you are sweating under the arms and screaming at the contestant “no deal! No deal!” while Howie Mandal smirks off in the corner. All to have it end with a briefcase full of 1 cent. It’s enough to make anyone go crazy. Read More »

Wasilla, Alaska won’t be seeing any casting call flyers hanging around Main St. any time soon.  The faux-engagement of town darlings (or terrors), Bristol and Levi, failed to get them a reality show, so the two have called it off…for now.  While they may not be worthy stars in their own right (contrary to what Levi might think), I think if Bristi (Levstol? Brevi?  What was their nickname, anyway?) were open to appearing on an already existing show, they might have a shot at stardom.

Picture this: Read More »

I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments! Read More »