Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza) and to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile.

No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever or which apps rock my world.

This week I’m focusing on the “click click flash” that consumes your weekend. You go out, someone inevitably breaks out the camera (every 4 minutes) and you start posing like you’re ready for the cover of Nylon. Great idea, but these pictures are going to end up on Facebook for the world to see the next day when you’re sober. Oof. And with today’s technology, you might be even caught in real time.

Who’s guilty?
Actually, who isn’t?

10. Self indulgent “Take one of just meeeee!”

You always think this one is a great idea. I’ll tell you something your friends (especially the one taking this photo) never will: it’s not a good idea. I promise you, it never is.

9. Drinking game picture

Congrats bro, you won a binge drinking game. Super rad!

8. Drunken girl-on-girl makeout

Your boyfriend? Not gonna be thrilled. Ok, so maybe he will, but did you forget that your great Aunt Frances is your FB friend?

7. Mirror Myspace look

Looking good with a giant flash obscuring you. Classic.

6. Obscene gesture… or action.

That’ll help you land your dream job.
Oh, and not looking at the camera does not make this photo look more natural or classy.

5. Passed out with Sharpie in your face

If you have one of these, your friends are jerks. If you have more than one of these, you seriously need help.

4. Drunken Photobooth?

Just, why? Was there really nothing better to do while you were buzzin’?

3. Nonfunctional drunkenness

Another big, fat “why?” How is this attractive? And who was the jerk who took this picture? And freaking sent it to all your friends? But, seriously, why did you decide to lay right there?

2. Pregaming

Since when is drinking in a tiny dorm room scrapbook material?

1. Pouty face, Peace sign

Overplayed.
ENOUGH SAID.

I'm not listening! I can't hear you!

I’m a huge fan of lists. Not to-do lists or grocery lists or my “list” (you know which one I’m talking about), but lists of things with bold faced sections that I can read through quickly and have a little chuckle. Or lists where I can vent my pent up frustration that I have been holding onto for years in hopes that the people at the root of that frustration will see the list, change their ways and make my life a whole lot more pleasant.

And that is what’s happening here. There are some people out there – lots of them – who say some pretty annoying stuff, so this week I’m gonna lay out the 10 most annoying phrases of all time. If you say any of these things, please stop. If you constantly say them all, please never come near me. Especially if I’m holding anything sharp.

10. “Just Sayin’”
End every sentence with this, really. Like I didn’t know you were saying something.

9. “On the real”
No. No. Not on the real. It’s been real, “on the real”. For real

8. “What the hey”
So cheesy, Chester Cheeto can’t even deal.

7. “Catch ya on the flip flop”
What does this even mean? Other than the obvious: don’t be my friend.

6. “Rock and Roll”
It’s time to go. Not time to Rock and Roll. Unless you want to smash up a hotel room and do lines off of supermodels, but I’m pretty sure you’re just telling me it’s time to leave the mall.

5. “No offense but…”
What I’m about to say is going to be strongly offensive.

4. “Double Yew Tee Eff, Oh Emm Gee or Bee Tee Dubs”
Really? Spelling out AIM acronyms in real life?

3. “I totally changed. It’s like I did a complete 360.”
So you spun in a circle? Good for you.

2. “Anyhoooooooo”
Self-explanatory.

1. “Literally/Essentially/Extensively”
First of all, why is it that anyone who uses these phrases uses them at the wrong time? Example: The days flew by, literally. Really? Did the days LITERALLY FLY BY? The days sprouted wings and fluttered away from you? Secondly, you are not intelligent just because you begin every sentence with “Essentially.” Don’t want.

What are some of your least favorite phrases/words?

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