Senioritis: Things You Can’t Do in the Real World

360pants.JPGWhile I’m not known for having tons of morals, standards, or values, I do know the difference between purchasing something and stealing it. However, for some reason, taking things without exchanging money at college is not considered stealing. It’s considered hilarious, thrifty, and even heroic in some cases.

Throughout the past four years I’ve improved my stealing skills and I can now easily slip an entire overhead projector into my pants while distracting my professor with nonsensical questions about alternative office hours. And the best part about taking things at college is that it’s not the use that’s important; but rather the obscurity. A traffic cone? Awesome! Frat Composite? Sick! A wheelchair? Stellar!

But now as I sit in my living room looking at the stolen fishbowl full of billiard balls, the cabinet filled with dining hall forks, and the freshman we took to do the housework, I’m starting to realize that it’s soon time for me to stop grabbing everything I can put my hands on. I didn’t realize it had become a problem until I was home over winter break in the mall and I found myself straining to pocket everything that wasn’t nailed down to the floor. I would walk down the supermarket aisle with my mom and whisper “pocket the apples, frozen peas in the purse.” She not only did not abide, but she questioned how she raised me so wrong. ( I have a long list if she’s truly interested one day, but that’s another blog.) Read More »


Kid Uses Traffic Cone as Wizard Hat…Hilarity Ensues!

traffic cone kid

• Note: Using a traffic cone as a wizard hat isn’t cute…even when you’re 3. (Daily Mail)

• The average person in the UK drinks 189 bottles of wine, 37 bottles of whiskey or 1,137 pints of beer per year…which is roughly half of what the average American going to a state school consumes. (Daily Mail)

• Top Story! Theives steal potatoes!! In the UK (of course). (thisislincolnshire.co.uk)

• Hey guys, smoking is bad for you! Now you know. Oh! And it doesn’t help you lose weight either, so just quit already! (news.com.au)

• Barack vs Hilary vs Colbert? You decide…on Facebook! (COED Magazine)