Holiday Parties to Put You in the Yuletide Spirit

ugly-sweater.jpgWe may have outgrown classroom “Secret Santa” parties and Snow Balls chaperoned by parents who enforce the “no-grinding” policies set forth by the high school gym teacher. But college offers a whole new world of holiday parties.

If you had fun on Halloween, just wait and see what the Festivous season has in store. Here are some ideas so you can throw your own rager for Christmahannukwanzakuh… or whatever you celebrate.

Tacky Christmas Party

Now’s the time to dig out the sweater you got last year from Aunt Millie – the one with real pom poms sewn on to represent snowflakes, with bedazzled reindeer flying across the front. If you don’t have your own tacky Christmas sweater, rummage through your mom’s closet or hit up the Salvation Army. These parties have been gaining quite the reputation over the last few years, with party goers trying to out-ugly each other. Decorate with lawn ornaments from the Clearance rack at K-Mart, and serve Malt Liqour to your guests. Who doesn’t love a white trash Christmas?

Hannukah Song Party

Who says you have to put your Halloween costume in the closet on November 1? Give your best celebrity costume another go by throwing a party where everyone goes as their favorite character from Adam Sandler’s “Hannukah Song.” Once everyone gets nicely buzzed, the phrase “OJ Simpson- not a Jew!” will echo through the halls, and “Put us together- what a fine lookin’ Jew” will be the pickup line of the night. Read More »

Beyonce = Sasha Fierce

beyonce-knowles.jpgApparently, Beyonce has an alterego. Kind of like how Garth Brooks did that whole Chris Gaines thing.

In her latest album, “I Am…Sasha Fierce,” Miss B introduces us to Miss Sasha Fierce, her more sensual, outgoing alterego. The record is split into two discs. On Sasha’s disc, you hear upbeat dance tunes, like “Single Ladies”; while on Beyonce’s disc songs like “If I Were a Boy” make up most of the playlist.

But if you ask me, this Sasha character looks like a boy…dressed as a girl.

What is the purpose of this alterego BS anyway? It didn’t work for Garth…because no one bought it.

WTF Beyonce? I mean, we love your music! Why confuse us by throwing your identity crisis in the mix?

Regardless the album rocks…hopefully for the next one she’ll drop her tranny-friend Sasha and just be herself.

The Nights I Looked Like a Tranny; My 5 Biggest Makeup Regrets

makeuptoomuch.jpg

Makeup is fun. With makeup I can make myself look like anything I want. I can glam myself up, or play out a more natural look. I can turn myself into a sex kitten, or an innocent girl next door.

But it has taken years and years of trial and error to know what looks good on my face and what makes me look like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. Looking back I’ve had some pretty disastrous makeup moments that I have comprised into my top 5 makeup regrets.

1. Sweat + black eyeliner = scary raccoon eyes. Now I love me some black eyeliner, especially when I’m putting on a cute little dress and going out to a club, but there are certain places where it’s probably not a good idea to pile on the black and, unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way.

One night my friends and I dressed ourselves up to go out dancing and I had put on a ton of dark eyeshadow and eyeliner. The dance floor was completely packed and after about half an hour we were all sweaty and gross. My friend and I went to the bathroom to cool down and when I looked in the mirror, I found that the makeup I had so meticulously applied was now all over my face! Seriously, it looked as if I had rubbed a huge piece of charcoal all around my eye and down my cheeks. My black eyeshadow had literally melted from me sweating and was now sitting in clumps on my eyelids. Needless to say I had to scrub it all off before anyone (besides all those people I saw pre-bathroom trip) saw my disaster of a face. Read More »

Candy Dish: Cindy Just Won’t QUIT

cindy-crawford-topless.jpg

Cindy Crawford’s still got it. Let’s harvest her genes!

Tranny or Granny? That is the question

Tori Spelling continues to kill all that was ever right in this word

Shut your face Manic Pixie Girl!!

Need help surviving your 20’s?

Say sorry for protecting your health, you naughty, naughty Olympians!

Mmmm, Absinthe

In your face, men everywhere!

Ricotta Cherry Cheesecake. DELISH

In case you were wondering, we’re not a bunch of drunks

For all you elf fetishers out there