College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to save some dough? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I’m just about to transfer to a much larger school for the spring semester, after commuting to school for two and a half years (I’m a junior now) and I’m REALLY scared about making friends. I’ve always had some difficulty with making them, since I’m pretty shy and socially awkward. Having friends isn’t impossible, but now that I’m going away to a huge school of 44,000 students, it’s a bit intimidating. Do you have any advice on making new friends mid-year? I’m sorta freaking out.

Busy Bee:
First things first, have no fear – you WILL make friends! I know what it’s like to be the ‘new kid’, but it’s also a different story when you’re the new kid in a school of 44,000. The fact that you’re going to a school with so many people, you won’t have any problems fitting in. I’ve noticed that college is different from high school in that there really are no cliques or pressures to be a part of a certain group. You can be whoever you want and hang out with as many or few people as you want.

Now that you’ve realized this, go ahead and try something new. Take this opportunity to join a new club (some clubs recruit at the beginning of each semester) or find an on-campus job (this will allow you to befriend the cute regulars!). If you’re not up for busy-ing yourself just yet, try talking to the people sitting around you before classes. Even if you don’t end up as BFF’s, it’ll break you out of your shell. Plus, you gotta start buddying up for notes on days that you may sleep through class! Be open to group study sessions, random hangouts, and last-minute party invitations. I know you’re shy, but this could be your break-through semester.

Party Girl:
No matter how outgoing or introverted a person may be, they all have had that nauseating fear that they won’t make friends in a new place. However, they are not in the golden position in which you now find yourself! You’re jumping in the middle of a social jackpot – 44,000 potential new friends. And you can never underestimate the ultimate social lubricant that flows freely through any college campus (except those weird dry ones): alcohol. Alcohol is the ultimate handshake! Through mojitos and games of beer pong, you’ll find yourself bonding with people of all sorts. Not to mention those people in your classes with whom you commiserate over mountains of homework. Trust me, “socially awkward” doesn’t exist in college. You just need a couple more drinks.

GPA Girl:
It’s so funny how we pretend as if making friends is only a problem elementary schoolers could ever have. In reality, it’s something most people have to deal with for their whole lives! Especially the shy. I hear you there, sister. Here are a few tips I’ve put to use over the years to make friends with new people in new places:

1) Join activities and clubs, even if they cost a little bit of money. Go to events that really interest you. These things are all automatic ins for finding like-minded people who have interests that mirror yours. Don’t worry about going to these things mid-year – the people there will probably be thrilled to have some new blood. Above all, do NOT talk yourself out of going to these things.
2) Boost your confidence by reminding yourself that you are a wonderful and interesting person. Yes, I’m serious. Every time you’re tempted to approach somebody new, take a deep breath first. In your head, say, “I’m interesting and I’m cool, and people want me as their friend.” Then say something. Even if it just ends at hi, force yourself to say something. If nothing clicks with that person, so what? Do it again tomorrow.
3) Find a couple of haunts that really appeal to you, and park there often. These places might be the on-campus coffee shop or the study lounge at the library or the malt shop just off campus -it doesn’t matter where – they are all good places to meet other people. Make sure you like them, because you’ll want to spend a lot of time in them so you can feel really comfortable there. Once you feel as if you belong, it’ll be easier to approach other people who end up there, since it will be like approaching them on “your” territory.
4) Be yourself. Sounds stupid, but it’s true. There are a zillion quirky things about you that your current friends and family love, and even though those are exactly the things you’d be tempted to hide from new people, they are really the things you should go out of your way to project. Those traits make you unique and attractive. Show them off!

Someone needs a little more 'bux in her cram sesh.

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me!

Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Just wanna talk to a pretty cool lady (if I do say so myself)?

Hit me up in the comments or shoot me an email at melanie@collegecandy.com

How can I cram for a test effectively?
Okay, first of all, cramming and effective should not go in the same sentence. But if you lost track of time (or couldn’t pass up a week-long Beer Pong tourny the week of exams…) and you must cram, pick a place that’s quiet and distraction free. Preferably the library or a Starbucks. Load up on caffeine, make an outline of the most relevant points that are going to be on the test, make flashcards, whatever; just writing down the information will help you learn it. If you’re in a time crunch, skip the excess and read (and read again and again ) summaries and Sparknotes.

Cramming is different for everyone. Personally, I crack open a red bull and hide in a deserted classroom and make absurd nmenumic devices. If Redbull’s not your thing, snag the most expensive drink at Starbucks. It’s a 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel. $13.76 (with tax). Gross, right?

I need a roommate next year! Who should I pick?

Okay, well I don’t know everyone you associate with, but my advice is to pick someone who gets on your nerves the least. I’ve roomed with a friend from high school, a girl BFF, randoms AND boys. Personally, I adore living with guy friends (though they can be somewhat sloppy and don’t have cute dresses to share) and I had success living with my college bestie as well. Even a few random roommates became close friends of mine. I would suggest picking someone you know very well and that shares similar living styles. Similar sleep, work, party and class schedules are great too. You definitely don’t want to share a bedroom with an early bird if you hit the hay at 4 AM. Look for chicas (or chicos) who are laid back, respectful and aren’t overwhelming. If all else fails, do the random roomie thing. Sometimes it can suck, but most likely it’ll work out!

If I go home with a guy, do I have to sleep with him?
NO. If you don’t want to, don’t. Don’t feel guilty or obligated to do more than you want. Just because you invited him to be a guest in your home (or vice versa) doesn’t mean you’re obliged to do anything that you don’t want to.

When am I going to start feeling more at home here?
I’d say typically towards the end of your first semester, but it’s different for everyone. I never felt at home at my first school, so I transferred. If you’re super miserable? Look into transfer options. In my heart I knew that my first college wasn’t the right fit for me, so halfway through freshie year I applied to transfer and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m not suggesting to transfer the instant you feel out of place, but if you’re so uncomfortable at school, don’t be afraid of the option! Make the most out of college.

When I was still in school (ugh, I get depressed just thinking about the glory days), my dad would always tell people that no one was having more fun than me. I loved the football Saturdays, the sorority date parties, the movie nights with my friends and even the late night study sessions in the library.

I had the best four years of my life on that lovely campus, but there are a few things I’d change if I had the chance. Like growing out my bangs a whole lot sooner or steering clear of those belly shirts I wore to frat parties freshman year (it was a lethal combo, let me tell you).

No matter how much we all love college, I know that everyone has that one thing they’d like to do-over. Being that we’re all heading back to campus in a few weeks (Oh wait, not me. Sigh.), I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their do-over wish lists so no one else has to make the same mistakes we did. Because college will be the best four years of your life and you don’t want to look back with any regret.

Mechelle – Florida State: I wouldn’t have had that boyfriend freshman year. Seriously, how many times in your life are you surrounded by gorgeous boys your age?

Melissa – GW: I would go back and relive Welcome Week of freshman year.

Kim – Stanford: If I could do one thing thing over from college it would be that guy in my english class. Yes, I would do him over, and over again.

Alex – Lakehead University: I honestly don’t think that I would change one thing! I’m pretty satisfied!

Thu – USC: Apply to study abroad this upcoming semester instead of waiting until spring… And of course, go out even more than I did.

Leah – Ryerson University: I would have taken a gap year to travel instead of going into a program that wasn’t right for me.

Kayla- California State University, Sacramento: I wish I would have discovered the concept of early morning classes. Commuting through mid-morning traffic for two hours a day wore down my soul.

Desiree – Columbia University: I would’ve scraped together the money to get a fake I.D. It broke my heart to tell the hot 28 year old I was crushing on I had to skip his birthday party because I was still 20.

Lauren – University of Michigan: I would have gone abroad; I’ll never have the opportunity to do something like that again. Oh, and I definitely wouldn’t chug straight from a bottle of Captain’s. Bad. Idea.

Carly – Grinnell: I would NOT have gotten so attached to my first college boyfriend. Mistake! I should have been out making more friends instead.

Katie – Michigan State University: I wouldn’t have skipped as many classes.  I mean, I had some amazing naps, but I probably should have been in class instead.

Elizabeth, University of Missouri: I’d probably reconsider taking any class that involved me waking up before 10 AM.

Sarabeth – University of Texas, Austin:  I would’ve changed majors a LOT sooner. I hated when people in my classes thought I was a freshman.

Maddie – Tufts: My 19th birthday, which ended with my cellphone in the toilet and a laundry list of additionally embarrassing choices/mistakes.

Charlsie – Hollins University: The people I became friends with turned out to not be the people I thought they were, so I would like to have a do-over of making friends and branching out more.

Lauren H – The New School: I spent so much of my college career worried about what someone else would think that I didn’t go anywhere or do anything for three years. I wish I could undo that.

Ashley – Marietta College: Not given my virginity to an a**hole… or dated an a**hole for that matter. Argh.

Cristina – Michigan State: I’d definitely not go home as much in the beginning and try to meet as many people as I could instead of living in my safety bubble of a life until last minute.

Sara C – Fordham: I would take more dance classes. No, really. I’ve taken two already and it helped me focus and improve my discipline. Not to mention, no homework, great workout, terrific stress relief, and hot guys (yes, some were straight)!

Liza – University of Minnesota: Transfer sooner! Just sayin’. Minnesota is amazing.

What would you want to do all over again?

Of course I am excited that I will no longer have to wake up 2 hours before my class to get onto 2 over-crowded and always-late buses to get to school. I will finally get to move out of my parents house and have what most people call the “real college experience.” I will, at last,  get to prove to my parents that I can survive away from home.

However, I can’t help but be consumed by thoughts about various things relating to this upcoming experience.

First, there’s the whole roommate situation. I’ve never lived out of my house, let alone in a small room with a stranger. Thankfully, my friend who is transferring to the same uni as I has agreed to be my roommate. But I’m still a little nervous. I’m not used to sharing my space with anyone and I’ve heard that it is unwise to be roomies with your friends, as you may end up hating each other in the end. Will I end up calling my mom in tears after a giant fight with her over using up the milk?

Then there’s the thing about making new friends all over again. When you enter a new school as a transfer student, I feel like it’s more difficult than entering as a freshman because people will already know each other. They will have their friends already and I’ll just be that weird new girl that no one knows.

And then there’s the downside of living on campus. At a commuter community college, it doesn’t really matter if you hate your lab partner or classmate because you just have to deal with them for about three hours a week. But when home is the same place as school, there is no getting away. What if I have to live on the same floor as that annoying classmate and see them all. the. time?

Then come the parties and night life. Living with my kinda strict parents means that I don’t get to party as often as I can, and I definitely cannot stumble in after 4am reeking of a brewery and leading some drunken stranger from the bar into my room. Will I be able to handle the freedom that comes with leaving my parents? Or will I end up being labeled the “crazy-always-drunk-transfer-girl?”

There is so much going through my mind right now and I’m really freaking out. Anyone got any tips? Anyone else dealing with the transfer blues?

Packing up the car for a short weekend, I fell absolutely in love with everything from the rolling mountains surrounding the university, the slew of handcrafted rocking chairs on the porches, all the way to the historical landmarked buildings. Every college student has that moment when they know that this is their school – and walking across the front quadrangle, I knew I found a place to start my college journey.

Little did I know, signing the paperwork and sending a $400 deposit for my enrollment to be a student in the 2010 class was my way of making a deal with the devil.

Since being in college, I have been through hell and back, and then some. The façade of a well polished community really seemed too good to be true, but once the parents left and the magical fairy dust of being a brand-spankin’ new college student wore off and our student IDs lost their luster, so did the support and cooperation of the administration, the ideals of “sisterhood” as a unique kinship that unites community (the word ‘sisterhood’ plays a major marketing role for all-women’s colleges across the nation and sororities), the spirit of traditions, and the premise that college is actually about learning subjects in a manner of breadth and depth.

Two and a half years later, I am a junior still at the same university. I stayed for my academics, which happened to be the only aspect of school that didn’t come with strings attached. This series is my cautionary tale for those prospective students out there, those considering transferring from their universities, and those who may not be aware of the full picture happening across their campuses.

Every Thursday I will feature issues that, believe it or not, actually happen on college campuses despite what viewbooks and Dean of Students let on. While most college students have had the time of their life during their 4 years of undergrad, I have been fighting for my own life, as a very concerned student. While pushing my education and social life to the side, I have dealt with a system that I have realized is not just flawed but broken – and it’s time for me to share my story!

The Good:

Free parking! - I was pumped about this, since parking at my last college (NC State) was about 200 bucks. This is also a bad thing because everyone can afford to park, so I have to leave my house 40 minutes before class (and I live 15 minutes away) to beat traffic and find a spot next to my building

The Fests - Back to School Fest, Fall Fest, Latin Fest, Halloween Fest….there’s always some type of “fest” going on….and they all involve a DJ, a moon bounce and loads of free food!

Online classes with NO extra fees - Most colleges label online classes as Distance Education and slap a few extra fees on the courses so that you’ll actually come to campus and not sit in your dorm/apartment/parent’s house watching your lecture via laptop wearing your your favorite tee and a pair of sweats (heaven!). Well, because so many people go to good ol’ community college (mine has 4 campuses total and is 40,000 strong), they actually prefer if you take a class or two online. But be warned: most online classes don’t have deadlines and it can be tempting to slack off. I’ve been taking Ethics since August and haven’t taken any tests just because I don’t feel like it!

Cute guys - I saw more cute guys on the first day of class than I did my whole first year at State. And not only are some of these guys hot, most of then can actually carry on an intelligent conversation… and still look hot doing it.

The Price - Year of tuition at State = $16,800. Semester at CC (14 credits) = $1,480, and that’s without financial aid.

Awesome Teachers/Lax Classes - Community College has some of the most laid back professors I’ve ever seen. In my Sociology class, my professor talks about how circumcision affects a guy’s sex life (he even quoted Sex and the City!), and my Public Speaking class is filled with debates about government corruption and interracial dating. I’ve actually started to enjoy going to class.

The Bad/Ugly

The People - Between the immature post-high schoolers who try to look cool by skipping class and sitting in the hallway/lounge, to the overabundance of soccer moms who always try to assert themselves as top dog in class, going to school here can be a bit of a drag.

No Sporting Events/Homecoming – I jealously watched State’s homecoming game on TV this year, and even more jealously saw my friend’s pictures from the NERD/Common homecoming concert. Did I mention CC has intramural sports?

Even with the few minor downsides, community college really is a win/win. If you’re thinking about transferring schools or coming home for the summer, I would definitely recommend looking into community college. You could end up in an cool Bio Lab with a hot lab partner like myself (without taking out a billion dollars in student loans!).

Rewind to the end of senior year when a certain girl was debating between College A and College B. College A is the largest school in North Carolina, is very serious about their sports program (which means tons of fans to party with, plus I love college football) and just happens to be an hour from my boyfriend. College B is a smaller but well-known school located right in the middle of a booming city not to far from my home in Virginia that also happens to house an insane Arts/Fashion program.

Of course, naive senior Amber picked College A so she could get a degree in Fashion but still tailgate, party like crazy and spend time with her beau.

One cringe-worthy break up, one failed class, dozens of racial/socioeconomic clashes and too many drunken nights later I decided that it was time to transfer. My decision was a good one, but was made too late; by the time I submitted my application to another school (College C, I guess), it was impossible to receive housing and a decent financial aid package. Then I remembered good ol’ College B with the awesome Fashion program and decided going there was worth spending one semester at a sh*tty community college while having to obey Mom and Pop’s rules.

Some of you may have decided (or been forced) to stay at home too, or maybe I’m just hoping I’m not the only one that gets upset when I see those back to school commercials with all the cute dorm furniture and kids running through campus. Either way, there are pros and cons to movin’ back in with the rents and I know all about them:

Pros

-Saving money. At College A my room and board was about $6,000, not to mention all the sh*t i had to buy for my dorm and all the meals I wasted on my dining plan by not using them. Do you know what I could have done with that $6,000?!!

-Free (and good) meals. Mom’s baked macaroni and cheese? Dad’s fried turkey? ‘Nuff said.

-No roomate(s)/hallmates. No waking up to hearing some random drunk guy singing the fight song in front of your door. Naked.

-Spending time with the family. Sure I wasn’t very homesick at school, but I still missed my movie dates with mom and watching WWE with my dad, not to mention shopping trips with my sister.

Cons

-Lack of privacy. At College A I went out around 11 to party and came back around 5 or 6. Now I’m subjected to numerous questions about my whereabouts even if I’m just running to 7-11 for a slurpie.

-No more (heavy) partying. No more Thirsty Thursdays. No more late night beer runs. The one time I did drink while I’ve been home I was so afraid of coming home drunk that I drank about a quarter of what I usually consume. And left the party by 10.

-No more dorm fun. To make up for all the crappiness of dorm life, my friends and I would come up with all sorts of crazy things to do. Now I sit around and watch old episodes of Family Feud . Fun.

-Boys? What Boys? With the exception of myself, everyone in my neighborhood is either really old or really young, meaning NO eye candy whatsoever.

Deep down I know I really need this time to rethink my goals in life and get my priorities together, but I’m sure the next couple of months are going to be gruesome. Expect a full report at the end of the semester

I know all about the stress of transferring and adjusting to a new school. When I began my undergraduate career, I wasn’t content with attending the state university that 83% of my classmates were enrolling in. Oh, no – I had to get away. So I enrolled in a small private school in London, England.

My freshman year was a blast– I was in a major city, surrounded by hot men with hotter accents, and I didn’t even need a fake ID. But eventually, reality sank in, and I opted to transfer back to the same state school that I’d once adamantly rejected in order to prevent graduating with student loans up the wazoo.

My first semester at the state university was miserable. I’d missed out on all of the freshman year bonding, got stuck with a lame random roommate, and when I did go out, it was because one of my high school friends was kind enough to let me tag along with her group. It was so bad that I took a semester off to figure out if I wanted to go through the transfer process again. I ended up going back to the state school, and – thankfully – things got better. In fact, college kicked some major ass.

So, having been on the Maybe-I-Should-Transfer fence and a member of the Transfer Students Association, I thought I’d share some pro’s and cons with anyone who isn’t quite sure that they are attending the right school.

Pro’s of Transferring:

You’ve already gotten a taste of college, so you might be able to make a better choice for yourself. Maybe you thought a big campus meant 10,000 new friends, but after failing a Stats lab where the TA didn’t even know you’re name, you’re opting for a smaller institution.

You might save money. I think more often than not, transfer students end up at a school that is more in their price range, rather than deciding to switch universities and take out a massive student loan. Maybe you started at a private, out-of-state school, but realize you can get just as good an education as an in-state student for a fraction of the cost.

You might end up closer to your friends and family. I’ve seen homesickness play a part in the big T many a time. I was definitely homesick when I first arrived in London, and there was no way to take a weekend trip home from across the pond. If you thought you were ready to spread your wings, only to realize you miss your hometown, there’s nothing wrong with applying to a closer school, whether it’s a mile from your parents’ house, or a reasonable drive.

You can start fresh. If your first semester was a disaster, You can make up for it. Sure, if you’re on academic probation, you probably won’t be invited into Harvard’s incoming class, but you can transfer to a community college and bring up your GPA while you look for a four-year school that will better suit you and your academic needs. Besides, a lot of transfer essays detail the reasons you did poorly, so your chances of admittance to a new school haven’t necessarily been shot. Once you’ve gotten a change of scenery, you can kick your old bad study habits (or whatever other bad habits you got into your first semester on your own) and focus on restarting your academic career.

Cons of Transferring:

You might lose credits…or more. I think only one of my 10 courses from England replaced the gen eds I needed at the state school. I took a junior/senior-level Shakespeare class a few blocks from the freakin’ Globe Theatre, and had to retake Shakespeare I. I was not happy. I also couldn’t transfer directly into my major, so I had to choose a new plan of study. While this worked out in the end, at the time, I was more than slightly pissed.

You’re the new kid. My high school friends had already made their own new college friends, so I was stuck living with a random roommate. Not only did our personalities clash, but the floor was full of her thirteen best friends, so even if I had wanted to hang out with her, she always had plans. Even after I (finally) made friends, I couldn’t participate in the “remember freshman year when…” stories.

You might get a culture shock. I went from living in a city where I could go clubbing every night or buy my own six pack and stay in to a small college town where packy runs had to be planned days in advance. The first time I borrowed a fake ID to go to the campus bar, I was stunned that this was a popular hangout.

Whether or not transferring is the right decision depends on the person. If you are miserable every day and cry yourself to sleep, it might be worth it to lose a few credits and start over. However, if you just broke up with your first college boyfriend and can’t bear to see him in lecture every Monday,Wednesday, and Friday for the rest of the semester, you can probably find it in yourself to stick it out. Though transferring schools is fairly common these days, in some ways it’s a bigger decision than choosing a “first” university.

Last week, I warned you that the grad school application process is quite a time consuming effort. Well guess what folks? You’re going to need to put ample time into choosing your prospective grad schools too! Sure, this might seem a bit obvious, but this columnist doesn’t always think things through.

For me, grad school was a roll of the dice, and six possible schools came up for me: Georgetown, Rutgers, Ohio State, North Carolina State, San Francisco State, and the school I eventually chose, hereafter refered to as X University.I chose these schools on a whim. Georgetown was my “reach,” and the closest I could get to Ivy League while maintaining a glimmer of hope for acceptance. Rutgers was relatively close to my hometown (by close I mean a 5 hour drive); Ohio State is a party school notorious for it’s tailgating parties (I swear, that’s why I applied- don’t judge); North Carolina State was an hour from my only other friend attending grad school; and San Francisco just seemed like a cool city to live in, as did the location of X University.

Rule number one in choosing grad school? Don’t be superficial when planning your future!

Take your time to research graduate programs across the country. If you want to focus on a particular location, check out as many schools in that region as you can. Take notes. Google the faculty. Check out some of the courses being offered, and find out what the plan of study entails. Many grad schools have student ambassadors that you can email to get a current students’ point of view on the program. Seriously, folks, exhaust the freaking websites. Scour them like you scour Perez Hilton.

In college, you have a lot of room to change your mind. Changed your major? No biggie. Transfer student? Piece of cake. On the five- or six-year plan? Join the club. Masters programs, on the other hand, are only two years long. Stretching out the plan of study can raise flags when you are applying for jobs or PhD programs, and not only is transferring schools relatively rare, you’re likely to lose the credits you’ve already earned. Having transferred schools and changed majors in undergrad, I can appreciate the trial-and-error aspect of college. In graduate school however, you’re in it for the long haul.

In the end, my final decision was between Georgetown and X University. Georgetown= awesome school. X University= tuition waiver. I reasoned that completing a M.A. in itself would be an accomplishment. Where I got the degree wasn’t that important right? Let’s just say I plan on framing my Georgetown acceptance letter and hanging it above my X University diploma. Oh, what could have been.

I realized I was at the wrong school during my first semester, when the homework for a required course consisted of blogging about our experience as graduate students each week. That’s what Myspace bulletins are for! Though my friends and I drank away our frustrations that fall, it wasn’t until the following semester that I realized I would give anything to transfer to Northeastern University, a school that hadn’t been picked up on my original radar, but that I thought was pretty much the perfect school for me. I was shit out of luck.

Make a list of you want to get out of your education. Trust me, you’re going to be working your butt off in grad school, so it might as well be worth it. Take your time looking at schools, my friends. A few extra hours of your time now is much more efficient than two years of your life at a school that isn’t right for you.