I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments! Read More »

We hate to be bearers of bad news, but it’s August — meaning the glory days of sippin’ summer cocktails and rapidly developing skin cancer at any locale offering a mid- to large-sized body of water are, unfortunately, coming to an end. We know it’s hard to snap out of the beach-bum mindset, which is why we’ve got you covered with a checklist of things to do before full-time academia is back in swing.

Beautify. Nothing like cruising into a new semester of classes feeling like hot sh*t. Book your appointments early for those caterpillar eyebrows, exposed roots, and crusty feet.

Prepare for potential hanky-panky. (Yep, I did just call it hanky-panky.) Visit to the gyno? Check. Birth control stockpile? Check. Brazilian wax? Check. Stop trying to salvage period-stained panties — as my motto goes, new school year, new lacy underthings.

Buy new dorm / apartment / house décor! Draw some inspiration from Apartment Therapy and go to town. May we suggest wall decals, some choice picture frames and scented candles?

Pick up a new planner. Steal one from freshman orientation if you have to, and then neatly pencil in important dates (your boyfriend’s grandmother’s birthday, any club meeting with free food, the three-year anniversary to the day you got your v-card swiped, etc.) There’s nothing quite like touching a spankin’ new notebook — devoid of uncompleted to-do lists — for the very first time. Read More »

After watching last night’s episode of The Hills I couldn’t sleep. I was restless. I was angry. I just didn’t know who to hate more: Lo or Spencer. I also didn’t know if I should be embarrassed that I sorta wanna watch My Super Sweet Sixteen presents: Exiled. But that is for a whole different blog.

I used to love Lo. In fact, I considered my 25th birthday to be one of my favorites because it was the day I got to interview her. Too bad I suck at picking people to love, because that girl is a serious biatch.

I get it, Lo; Audrina is sorta bland and boring and you hate her cuz her legs are ridiculous. But stop being such a bitch. She may not be the brightest crayon in the box (although she most definitely is the tannest), but she is a nice girl and wants nothing but good things for those around her. Plus, she is your best friend’s other best friend and, quite frankly, she looked a lot better than you at She-Pratt’s birthday party. What was UP with your hair? And the red lips? You looked like a crazy cat lady.

And then there is Spencer. Oh Spencer – how many times can I possibly write how much I loathe you? Your life consists of one thing: being a bitch. You don’t work, you don’t have friends – all you do is plot evil plans with Heidi (consisting of either awful music videos, photo shoots or ways to make LC’s life a living hell) and eat Mexican food. Read More »

Because our usual I Love Money recapper is enjoying a summer vacay (lucky biatch), I was commissioned to watch and recap the most recent episode of the show. Now, I would just like to say that I watch a LOT of bad TV. A lot. My DVR currently holds too many episodes of What Not To Wear, some reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Engaged and Underage and, of course, True Life, I’m a Staten Island Girl.

Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.

This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously. Read More »

Probably the most drama-filled evening, last nights I Love Money sure did not disappoint.

The challenge consisted of constructing a catapult to launch raw chickens from (flashback to hottie, circa Flava Flav Season 1) and the first team to catch and place five raw chickens on the plates, wins the challenge and seals their fate away from elimination for the night.

As always, alliances began to form between teams before the mission even started. At the route of all problems was – surprise, surprise – trashy, plastic Megan, who formed too many alliances, causing Destiny, Mr. Boston and Brandi C. to be chosen as the three bottom players.

Originally, Megan, Brandi C. and Mr. Boston formed an alliance with 12 Pack, the winning team’s captain, to try and get White Boy’s name into the box, as he’s seen as the biggest threat. However, plans were brought to a halt when Megan and White Boy formed an alliance together to save each other, which they did, but not before Megan threw her prior “partners in crime” under the elimination bus. Read More »

OMG. I know I am a little slow on the uptake, but due to a giganto exam I had to spend Monday night in the library instead of on my couch with Lauren, Heidi and Whitney. Thankfully, my good friend TiVO was there in my time of need and I finally got to watch the drama unfold on this week’s episode of The Hills.

And it was AMAZING – especially without having to sit through MTV’s 3.5 minute commercial breaks.

Let me just begin with the biggest and most awesome part of the whole show: Whitney’s modeling experience. I bet you think I am going to talk about her plummet down the stairs, but you are wrong. Mostly because I tend to fall all the time, so I really feel for the girl. No, the part that really made me weak in the knees/warm all over was the part where Ms. Intern-NYC looked all pissy when she wasn’t the hottest girl on the stage (which, mind you, is not hard considering how weird looking she is). It is not like I hate the girl, I just think she should be working as a school librarian/planting flowers instead of working for Teen Vogue. Read More »