This week the cast for the new season of Basketball Wives was released. This reality TV guilty pleasure is on its fourth season, which means they’ve got to be doing something right. But as I flipped through the new cast roster, I realized that NONE of them are even actually the wives of these NBA athletes. They’re all either ex-wives, baby mamas or ex fiances. Really, VH1? C’mon, get some actual wives to be on the show Basketball Wives. I guess at the end of the day, this all makes for better TV, which is fine by me because reality television is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But seriously, there are women out there who are legally married to men with far superior professions.

In the spirit of this new season of Basketball Wives, I can’t help but think about these other wives who would be just as interesting — if not more so! — than those featured in the VH1 hit. Sometimes the most common of jobs can be the most fascinating. I now present you with eight shows that I think need to be filmed immediately and broadcast to millions of reality TV junkies such as myself. What do you think?

initiating the gallery...

Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity! Or read her blog here!

[Lead image via Luis Louro/Shutterstock]

In an unexpected move, VH1 is scrapping the majority of its lineup and starting from scratch. The network recently revealed the most comprehensive slate of original programming in its history, and missing are the very franchises that helped transform the one-time purveyor of music videos into a (much-watched) three-ring circus of “celebreality” and sometimes crass dating shows.

“I think it was really just part of our evolution. We’re a pop culture network by definition, so we do always have to be molding and moving,” Jeff Olde, executive vice president of original programming and production at VH1, tells PopEater exclusively. “We’ve had such a great run, and really had a blast with all those shows, but it just felt like, ‘OK, what’s the next thing gonna be?’”
VH1 will unveil a total of 44 original series before the end of the year. Each series is expected to fall into one of three categories: music, celebrity and “real life stories.” “We’re expanding the ways we tell a story so that we have more ways to reflect on what’s happening in the music and pop culture that our viewers love,” Olde says of the network’s new direction.

Finish reading this PopEater exclusive right here!

Help me, Steve!

I’m addicted to reality dating shows.  I’ve watched them all and thoroughly enjoy watching fake, trashy, scripted romances bloom.  I mean, if rapping about endangered animals doesn’t prove your love, I don’t know what does.

So when Tough Love premiered last year, I was expecting the same scripted crap.  I thought it would be humorous, something I could watch for hours on a hungover Saturday, but not anything that average girls could relate to.  But even though the girls were all above-average in looks, I was thoroughly impressed with VH1’s latest bold new show. Tough Love was finally a show that NORMAL and REAL girls could relate to! Shocking, I know. Each week, my roommates and I tuned in to watch Sexy Steve and listen to his advice for these single ladies.  To say I was addicted to this show was an understatement; I literally dreamed of having Steve (come to my house naked and) tell me why I was still single.  So when they announced a second season I excitedly hopped online and downloaded the application in record speed.

The first question was simple: “Why do you think you are still single?” Easy enough, right? Wrong. I didn’t fit any of the molds: I’m not too old (at least I hope), I’m not a gold digger, I’m not addicted to my career. Even my friends couldn’t help me come up with an answer. The only solid answer I could come up with was, “The boys I crush on don’t like me, and vice versa.” 

I was crushed. And not only because I knew I would never actually meet Steve. It was just really hard to look inward and not be able to identify a facet of my personality or myself in general that was preventing me from finding love. How can I know what to work on if I have no idea what I’m doing wrong? And if I can’t work on anything, how will my current single status ever change?

I’ve heard the saying that true love comes when you are not expecting it, but after spending three and a half single years in college not expecting anything but a few drunk boys inviting me back to their smelly rooms, I can’t help but wonder what I’m doing wrong.  I feel like I’ve put in my time and experienced every guy out there: the creeper, the  I’m-just-not-that-into-you, the can-you-smell-my-desperation, and so on.  And now, with more and more of my single friends pairing off I’m left here alone, staring at an application for a VH1 reality show wondering why I’m still single and ready to mingle.

What am I doing wrong?

P.S. Steve, if you’re out there, please sign me up for your boot camp.  I’ll pay.

Can you believe it’s 2010? Where did the year go? Where did the decade go? Hell, where did my sequin jacket go? And why did I think that chasing a Jager Bomb with a bottle of Andre was a good idea? Oh lord.

Right now it’s probably hard to think about anything but a greasy breakfast sandwich, a gallon of water and how you’re going to get that rando out of your bed, but it’s the first day of the new year and you know what that means: it’s massive hangover resolution time.

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their resolutions for the new year. Most of the girls are on their own with sticking to their list, but every month we’re going to check in with a few of them on their quest for self improvement. Will they stick to their resolutions and become the best they can be? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. I’ve already ruined my personal resolution of treating my body well (I’ve got a stack of pancakes and a giant latte sitting next to me at the moment), so I just hope they fare better than me.

Arielle – Quinnipiac University: Stop going on Facebook and the internet, and read some books instead!

Nina – Michigan State University: I am going to stop watching brain-suckers like Keeping Up With the Kardashians and watch more health and knowledge related shows. Maybe.

Brithny – Duke:  To fit into my skinny jeans without having to do the after-laundry lunges. You know the ones I’m talking about.

Meg – University of Delaware: cut down my severe caffiene addiction

Anna R – Northeastern University: To finish paying off my credit card debt and save at least $1000 next semester… Somehow I’m hoping I will achieve this while doing an unpaid internship in NYC.

Kim – Stanford: To get a job in NYC and move there after graduation!

Jessica – Hofstra: Stop procrastinating, and start saving money by finding boys to buy my drinks at the bar!

Lauren – University of Michigan: To figure out the difference between need (healthy food) and want (Marc Jacobs handbags and vodka). Oh, and to stop convincing myself that my jeans from senior year of high school still fit. If I can’t breathe, they do not fit. It’s that simple.

Charlsie – Hollins University: To stop reading Perez Hilton. He spreads negativity around and I’m sick of participating in it.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: To go for what I want. There’s no better time than today to get things done!

Sarabeth – University of Texas: To legitimately work out this year, no more of this “walking to class counts” crap.

Noa – CU Boulder: To learn how to make Thai food. I swear I spend half of my money on Pad See Ew.

Zahra – Northwestern University: To choose one or two resolutions and stick to them! I always end up with, like, ten. I’m still not sure what the actual resolutions will be but, hey, it’s a start!

Caitlin – University of Alabama: To stop letting people take me for granted! I deserve some thanks for all of the things I do dammit.

Emmy- Loyola University Chicago: To focus on academics and own all my classes next semester.

Erica – Kent State University: To be a better friend. And to find shoes like this.

Ricki – University of Michigan: I will stop buying so much overpriced coffee and learn to make it myself. I will also not count coffee on my parents credit card as “me not paying” because I am actually just fooling myself.

What do you want to do better this year?

I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments!

Norah – Drake University: I’m obsessed with cake shows. I can’t deal with the drama of other reality shows, but I like to watch people make pretty cakes that look impossible to eat.

Brithny – Duke: So You Think You Can Dance, because of the amazing… dancing. Obvi.

Kim – Stanford: Life would be a little less complete without SAY YES TO THE DRESS on TLC. Who doesn’t love weddddings?!

Lauren H – The New School: Top Chef! I’m a big food nerd, so I watch a lot of the food-based contest shows, but Top Chef is by far the best. The only downside is I’m always hungry after!

Caitlin – University of Alabama: I love E!’s reality shows like Girls Next Door, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.  UGH but those Lamas…that’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back!

Charlsie – Hollins University: Keeping Up With The Kardashians is my favorite reality show because when Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney get into fights they refer to each other as “stupid bitch ass whores.” If it wasn’t for this show, my sister and I would have boring arguments. The Kardashians keep us fresh with insults and put-downs!

Laura – St. John’s: Rock of Love.  I never tire of the varying extremes of trampy-ness these girls will go through to prove their love to Bret Michaels. (Really? Bret Michaels is the best you can do?)

Ricki – University of Michigan: The Bachelor/Bachelorette – It’s impossible to not believe in true love when every date they have is jet skiing in Hawaii or being alone on a deserted island.

Thu – USC: The City, if it is even considered “reality.” You kind of live a fabulous life vicariously through the people.

Leah – Ryerson University: What Not to Wear and Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style because everyone should feel fabulous about the way they look.

Anna R. – Northeastern University: My favorite reality show is The City. I didn’t watch the first season, but now I’m obsessed with it. It’s SO much better than The Hills (which is really lame and pointless now), and the girls’ jobs are actually interesting to watch. Plus, I love seeing what they are all wearing!

Kiki – University of Missouri: I spent at least nine hours of my life this summer watching 16 and Pregnant marathons on MTV. It’s like True Life mixed with Maury mixed with the best damn abstinence education ever.

Samantha – UC Santa Barbara: VH1’s Tough Love! The women are such train wrecks that it’s hard not to watch! Best of all, no one gets kicked off, so your favorite tranny look-alike is there every week for your viewing pleasure. Watch as these women work through their “daddy issues” and try to find love. Priceless quotes to throw around with the roomies guaranteed.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I may or may not have seen every episode of Say Yes to the Dress. I mean, come on, really expensive and really pretty dresses mixed with a few horrible women with bad taste? It’s Amazing!

Hillary – Columbia: I watch a ton of awful television, but my favorite reality show will always be Man Vs. Beast, a two-hour special aired by Fox in 2003. In it, people competed against animals in a variety of competitions—a sprinter raced a giraffe, a Sumo wrestler had a tug-of-war with an orangutan, and, maybe best of all, competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi had a hot dog eating contest with a bear. Seriously. Just watch a few clips. They’re amazing.

Erica – Kent State University: The Rachel Zoe Project.  LIT-ERALLY, I love watching Rachel (aka The-Walking-Panic-Attack) & Taylor (aka The-Five-Year-Old-Who-Somehow-Made-It-Into-The-Fashion-Biz) go BANANAS.  Seriously, Rachel has influenced my closet and my vocab.  LOVE her.

Kelly- Simmons College: I love the Real Housewives. My roommate and I watch the end-of-season marathons and get completely hooked for 12 hours about people we don’t like and don’t actually care about. What other show can do that?

Zahra- Northwestern University: Lately I’ve been obsessed with Tool Academy. It’s hilarious when the guys break things or get into fights to show off their manliness, but also brings me to tears when I see girls finding out about their guys’ infidelities.

Alex – Lakehead University: My favourite (yes, Canadian spelling!) reality show is Paranormal State on A&E. College students who moonlight as ghost hunters?! I’m in! Plus this show features some very unique stories, like the demon that follows them through several episodes. I’m hooked!

Jasmin – University of Missouri: HGTV’s House Hunters. Strange, I know, but it’s addictive. When I leave Mizzou for the real world, I’ll be ready to remodel my dream home.

Beautify. Nothing like cruising into a new semester of classes feeling like hot sh*t. Book your appointments early for those caterpillar eyebrows, exposed roots, and crusty feet.

Prepare for potential hanky-panky. (Yep, I did just call it hanky-panky.) Visit to the gyno? Check. Birth control stockpile? Check. Brazilian wax? Check. Stop trying to salvage period-stained panties — as my motto goes, new school year, new lacy underthings.

Buy new dorm / apartment / house décor! Draw some inspiration from Apartment Therapy and go to town. May we suggest wall decals, some choice picture frames and scented candles?

Pick up a new planner. Steal one from freshman orientation if you have to, and then neatly pencil in important dates (your boyfriend’s grandmother’s birthday, any club meeting with free food, the three-year anniversary to the day you got your v-card swiped, etc.) There’s nothing quite like touching a spankin’ new notebook — devoid of uncompleted to-do lists — for the very first time.

Evaluate your finances. If you’re anything like me, you’ve all but avoided checking your banking account for a summers’ worth of glorious sales, extravagant dining and uninhibited bar-hopping — but it is, my friends, something that must be done. Pay off your outstanding bills and determine your budget for the upcoming year so you know exactly how many hours you have to slave away at Applebee’s this fall.

Speaking of jobs… update your resume. ‘Cause let’s face it, you’re not going to even want to think about cleverly crafting bullet points about your summer of servitude well into Welcome Week. Or Rush Week. Or Recovery from Rush Week. Or any of the subsequent weeks after that, really. Get it out of the way now so the moment you encounter the perfect side-job to finance your weekend boozing, you’ll be ready-for-hire.

Do a massive overhaul of your wardrobe. Barring the sentimentally priceless — though really, it’s time to part with the chocolate-stained denim capris that remind you of your high school summer camp fling — donate or eBay the stuff you don’t wear. It goes without saying, but gauchos are not coming back in this lifetime. Head to American Apparel (or Targét — that’s how I roll) to stock up on your favorite basics. Reorganize your jewelry, and splurge on one pair of fabulous, fabulous heels.

Catch up on old seasons of your favorite trashy television. This is obviously the most crucial on the list. Between TiVo and internet video, there are no excuses to be made anymore — because God forbid you watch the Gossip Girl premiere without having seen the one where Serena dies. What? Yeah, see?

I used to love Lo. In fact, I considered my 25th birthday to be one of my favorites because it was the day I got to interview her. Too bad I suck at picking people to love, because that girl is a serious biatch.

I get it, Lo; Audrina is sorta bland and boring and you hate her cuz her legs are ridiculous. But stop being such a bitch. She may not be the brightest crayon in the box (although she most definitely is the tannest), but she is a nice girl and wants nothing but good things for those around her. Plus, she is your best friend’s other best friend and, quite frankly, she looked a lot better than you at She-Pratt’s birthday party. What was UP with your hair? And the red lips? You looked like a crazy cat lady.

And then there is Spencer. Oh Spencer – how many times can I possibly write how much I loathe you? Your life consists of one thing: being a bitch. You don’t work, you don’t have friends – all you do is plot evil plans with Heidi (consisting of either awful music videos, photo shoots or ways to make LC’s life a living hell) and eat Mexican food.

When you showed up to Stephanie’s birthday party just to make Lauren squirm, I wanted to take you by that plastic-looking nose and kick the crap out of you. Then the next day when you showed up at Stephanie’s apartment and compared your relationship with LC to that of Iran and Israel, I wanted to shove your face into a pile of poo. For real? You think your hatred for LC – which stems from the fact that she didn’t like you treating her BFF (at the time) like crap – can be compared to the MIDDLE EAST CONFLICT?

<Breathe, Lauren>

Surprisingly, though, those weren’t what made me hate you most.

It was the baby talk at the table with Heidi that really put me over the edge and won you the honor of Biggest Douchebag of the Episode. (Congrats!) Baby talk in relationships is gross. Baby talk coming out of your mouth should be punishable by death. You are the villain, the hated one; seeing you do supposedly cutesy things makes me want to hurl.

But just because Spencer took the cake last night doesn’t mean there weren’t plenty of other offenders in the episode.

Other things that made me hate everyone on The Hills last night:

1. Whitney’s ridiculous jobs – No, I would never want to work for Kelly “I am Satan” Cutrone, but it just seems unfair that Whitney keeps movin’ up the ladder when all she does all day is hang jeans on a rack.

2. Lauren’s Hair – It is so perfect. I want it.

3. Stephanie Pratt’s hair – No more bangs, but the giant frizz is out of control. Can someone let her know that it is not 1988 and that her hair is not immune to humidity?

4. Kelly Cutrone – Is she channeling Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada? Why is she so evil? Does she bathe? Can she somehow get me fired from my job for saying mean things? I’m scared…

Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.

This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously.

The Gold team ended up winning the tearjerker, which sent the Green team into a hizzy. I guess they lose a lot? I felt bad for them, especially that dude who has like no nose hairs left because he plucked them all out attempting to tear up.

So, after the competition everyone decides to get completely sh*tfaced and dance around topless throwing food at one another. Meanwhile, some dude is trying to save Destiney (cuz the whole team hates her), but gets mad cuz his brilliant plan doesn’t work.

The Gold captain (Paymaster?) now has some sort of power to take three people out and figure out which one she wants to save. (Note: choosing someone to leave is also called being “bounced.” Like a check? Get it? How cute!) And in attempts to stay in the game, some blonde chick with big boobs tries to make out with her. Toasty (what does that name even mean?) and the three people chosen by the Green team (Destiney, Real and Brandi C.) head out to the beach and go snorkeling.

And there are sharks. But I don’t care about that. I need to know: WHO IS GONNA STAY??? (Notice the sarcasm.)

There is some talking and then Real gets some one-on-one time with Toasty. The conversation did nothing except make me wonder if there is something wrong with that girl. Like, mentally. Is she slow?

Ok, so (finally!) after a load of wasted time watching people fight and stupid commercials, we find out that it’s time for Destiney to bounce. Goodbyyyyyye, Destiney!

And with that, I hate myself. I want that hour of my life back. I want my dignity back. I want everyone at the gym to know that I was only watching that show for work. NOT for pleasure.

Never again. Never.

The challenge consisted of constructing a catapult to launch raw chickens from (flashback to hottie, circa Flava Flav Season 1) and the first team to catch and place five raw chickens on the plates, wins the challenge and seals their fate away from elimination for the night.

As always, alliances began to form between teams before the mission even started. At the route of all problems was – surprise, surprise – trashy, plastic Megan, who formed too many alliances, causing Destiny, Mr. Boston and Brandi C. to be chosen as the three bottom players.

Originally, Megan, Brandi C. and Mr. Boston formed an alliance with 12 Pack, the winning team’s captain, to try and get White Boy’s name into the box, as he’s seen as the biggest threat. However, plans were brought to a halt when Megan and White Boy formed an alliance together to save each other, which they did, but not before Megan threw her prior “partners in crime” under the elimination bus.

It’s safe to say that Mr. Boston cracked; his ranting and hysterical screams were on par with a ten year old girl’s temper tantrum. He felt it was wrong that the alliance was broken and, while his argument was valid, his behavior (stomping around, the waterworks, etc.) pretty much gave 12 Pack enough validation he needed to send the semi-unstable New England boy packin’ — but not before Mr. Boston and Brandi C. called Megan out on her traitor like ways. Still, she was not in the bottom three, so she sat there, holding her little Chihuahua dog, oh so Paris Hilton like.

While she may have been safe last night, next week’s challenge looks like it’s centering on The Entertainer’s main squeeze to go home. Teammates gang up on Destiny, causing a rift in both teams mentalities, but who knows how the end will turn out.

People are gunning for White Boy too, but he’s been smart enough to keep himself from landing in the bottom bunch. I’m rootin’ for him to win…so let’s hope he stays there.

Tune in next week, folks!

[photo courtesy of vh1.com]

And it was AMAZING – especially without having to sit through MTV’s 3.5 minute commercial breaks.

Let me just begin with the biggest and most awesome part of the whole show: Whitney’s modeling experience. I bet you think I am going to talk about her plummet down the stairs, but you are wrong. Mostly because I tend to fall all the time, so I really feel for the girl. No, the part that really made me weak in the knees/warm all over was the part where Ms. Intern-NYC looked all pissy when she wasn’t the hottest girl on the stage (which, mind you, is not hard considering how weird looking she is). It is not like I hate the girl, I just think she should be working as a school librarian/planting flowers instead of working for Teen Vogue.

But, lets be honest here; none of that crap really even came close to the amazingness that was the fight between Heidi and Spencer. Let us review the facts:

1. Spencer wants Heidi to move in. Why? Who knows? He claims he wants to take the relationship to the next level. I think he just wants a vagina around at all times in case he gets the urge to stick it in.

2. Heidi doesn’t want to move in. Her points: strippers, playmates, and Lauren.

3. Spencer doesn’t care what Heidi wants. He wants her in his house. Now. Also, Spencer has an awful 5 o’clock shadow that makes me vomit a little in my mouth.

4. Heidi says no.

5. Spencer kicks Heidi out of his (dad’s) BMW.

6. The end.

We all know where this is going – mainly because we saw the scenes from next week where Heidi is in a U-Haul. I have my money on this scenario: Heidi will miss Spencer’s lovin’/witty banter (um…severe sarcasm here) and will decide to ditch her best friend and move in with him. As she moves her 49 boxes of shoes into his house, she will find him in bed with 3 ugly playmates. And, being the true pushover that she is, Heidi will jump in and join the fun.

And Lauren will sit at home waiting for the people at Teen Vogue to say she is pretty enough to model.

It is gonna be super.