Haven’t you always wanted some donkey semen

Brighten up winter with neon

Our fave TRL moments over the years

Reward your long distance BF

Stars on steroids

Valentine’s Day gifts for all senses

12 famous girls from Jersey

Riri has 15 tats??!!

Ferris Bueller returns!

MTV has been by my side ever since Justin Timberlake was breaking it down with N*sync on Total Request Live. Yes, it seems crazy now, but MTV used to actually have shows dedicated to music (TRL being a personal favorite). And just recently, like a very public break-up on Facebook, MTV has made it official and removed “Music Television” from their new logo, and replaced it with… Snooki?

Yup, Snooks is now the face (and ginormous Guidette boobs) of MTV. And the world is in a tizzy.

Ever since MTV unveiled the new logo, sans any sign of music, the media has been abuzz. People are shocked and dismayed by the change, dumbfounded by the fact that there is no more music at Music Television. But why?

When was the last time you actually saw any music on MTV? Or any band (that wasn’t being put together by Diddy on a reality show)? Can’t remember? Yeah, that’s because it was forever ago when Carson Daly wasn’t manorexic and there were still 5 Backstreet Boys. Lately, the only (small slice) of a music video any of us has seen is during the credits after an episode of Teen Mom.

MTV may have only recently dropped “music” from their logo, but they escorted those tunes out the door slowly and strategically.  Carson Daly left TRL; they started playing only half of “Oops I did it Again” on the countdown; and The Real World, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Jersey Shore phenomenon(s) began. Much like that BF who stopped sending cute texts, stopped sleeping over and stopped leaving stuff at your place before he finally dumped you, it was hard not to see this change coming.

And it’s a change for the good!

I don’t know about you, but I would rather watch a dramatic 16 and Pregnant episode than an over-played Jay-Z music video any day. And if the musical urge strikes me, I can seek it elsewhere, like YouTube or on MTV2 at your parents’ house.

The only thing about this situation (not The Sitution) that surprises me at all is that they didn’t just rename the network. MTV clearly doesn’t make sense anymore, so why didn’t they opt for something that represented the programming?

Maybe GPTV (Guilty Pleasure Television)? Or MPLBONTV (Make People Look Bad On National Television)? Or SRSTV (Scripted Reality Show Television)? Or even PDTV (Puff Daddy Television)?

At least those would be more appropriate. But I guess sticking a pic of The Situation’s abs in the logo works, too.

If there is one thing I love, it’s nostalgia. There is nothing better than sitting around with your friends looking at photos of those awful bangs, horrible stirrup leggings and puff painted sweatshirts and reminiching about the days of yore.  So for this week’s LOVE List I thought I would delve back into those scrapbooks and bring you my top 5 childhood LOVES. It’s hard to narrow down to five so let us know what you loved back then too!

1. Platform Jump Shoes. This must-have trend (from Vagabonds to Rebels to Sketchers) were the  gym shoe in my middle school. Obviously worn with your Paris Blues or your ribbed light purple Hard Tails. I thought I was too cool for school in my black and white “gym shoes” (which is ironic since they  were unacceptable for gym class).

2. Beanie Babies. I have a TRUNK of these bad boys sitting in basement because TY had me convinced that my discontinued Garcia Bear would be worth thousands by now. Too bad they are selling on ebay for $5.00. Not only does my lunch costs more than that, it’s less than their original $6.00 price tag. But at the time, Beanie babies were like a hot pair of Manolos on major sale: sold out in stores everywhere,  causing fights by pushy mothers nationwide. For a good two years, there was not a holiday or birthday that went by that someone did not give me a Beanie Baby.

3. JTT. Seriously, there was nothing more exciting than spending my lunch hour trading tear out posters from Teen Beat and Bop magazine. JTT, or for those of you who lived under a rock back in the 90s, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, was just a whole other level. He (and maybe Andrew Keegan) was the ONE and only… until Leonardo Dicaprio went down with the ship, that is.

4. Chupa Chups. I associate Chupa Chups with the Spice Girls and Hanson. Which also brings me back to traumatic memories of a boy haircut and bright purple and teal alternating braces. True story. But those choloate vanilla swirls became the obsession of middle school.

5. The sound of the dial up modem. Don’t get me wrong: I love my fast internet. But there was something about coming home from school, turning on TRL to see the Backstreet Boys and Britney, while that noise (you know EXACTLY what im talking about) dialed up your AOL so you could go into random chatrooms and get in online fights with your friends. (Oh the drama).

Prince

Perfect gloss for the winter…every girl needs it!

Lookin’ for a new drink? Try one of these!

Be fashionable and eco-friendly!

Fishnet wallpaper? What?!

Travis Barker’s first interview since the crasy on the final TRL…so sad =(

Three days left to win a free phone!

I pray to look this good when I’m that old…

Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes tribute…oh how we miss her.

Amy Winehouse makes moves on a 16-year-old…creep.

Can you believe TRL has been on the air for 10 years?! I know! I didn’t know that show was on anymore, either. I think the last time I watched I had just gotten home from (high) school and called in my vote (for Christina Aguilera, duh!) to 1-800-VOTE-MTV. And I don’t think I even had a cell phone yet!

Well, TRL is still on…but not for long. MTV execs have decided to give in to the low ratings and close the doors on Total Request Live this November. The final show will be a major spectacle with tons of popstars, bands and former hosts coming back for the big goodbye. (Maybe they will play a full song for once? One can only hope!)

TRL was over for me when Carson Daly left and all those weird/random/unknown hosts started comin’ in (and then Carson got all rexy on us). But I guess other people sorta liked the randoms, so in honor of the end of the TRL era, I put together a little gallery of some of the bigger TRL hosts.

Which of these fools is your favorite TRL host? (Names in order of pics if you can’t put a name to a face.)

MTV continues to kill the music

Angelina Jolie DOES NOT AGE

Aww…Has Been’s in love!

Keep his lingerie?

Would you wear Avril?  Yeah, me neither.  But Tokyo would!

Mmmm, Kool-Aid

Sarah Palin lovvvveesss her tanning bed

Tina Fey is “sexist!”

The infamous Cat Rap

Megan Fox tells Miley and Vanessa “F*ck Disney“

Carry your “toys” in style...

My Dinner with OJ

MTV’s “Britney Spears wants a Piece of You” contest kicks off on Monday and is calling for die-hard Britney fans to put together a video counterpart to the official video Brit shot this week. But what if you’ve never submitted anything to YouTube? (get with it, people!) It’s no problem.

To enter the contest all you have to do is download the MTV Video Remixer. Then you pick the shots you wants to use, mash them together and –viola!– you’ve got a submission! The video can be up to 3:34 in length and the winner will premiere on TRL on December 20th.

But you better get on it quick! Entries are due by December 14.

Having your video premiere on TRL is cool and all, but the true prize is having your video premiere before the official one. That won’t surface until January.

Britney Spears is lazy and slow? Shocking.

The inner 7th grader in me is SUPER excited today.Why may you ask? Well its the day before Halloween. And whether I’m fourteen or forty-four the day before Halloween is filled with a sense of excitement.

Decorations are up, candy is in position, pumpkins are carved and costumes are ready. Everything is in its place and the young-at-heart-part of me has ants in my pants and is tired of waiting!

But that isn’t the only reason that today feels a bit more like 1999 than 2007. In 1999, you turned on TRL or the Today Show and who did you see?

Britney Spears or the Backstreet Boys singing to screaming pre-pubescent girls pronouncing their love with tears of adoration.

Flash forward to October 30th 2007: Turn on the Today Show and who do you see?

Post-pubescent girls still screaming their hearts out for the BSB.

Pull out your butterfly clips and Kipling back-pack purses girls:

Britney’s latest release Blackout and BSB’s Unbreakable (both aptly titled) are hitting stores today!

Let your inner teeny-bopper out. You know you remember the “Backstreet’s Back” dance (because you did it at every party/bar-mitzvah/alone in your room) Bust out a little. You know you want to. I won’t judge (i’m doing it too!) You know you miss the days of sugary pop that you can so easily belt out in your car or shower.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We had a good thing going with pop and I’m Pumped with a capital P that it’s kinda-sorta back.

If this was 1999, their albums would be flying off the shelves selling millions in its first week. While that may or may not be the case this time around, aren’t you curious to hear what your teen idols are bringing this time around? (you know, besides shaving their heads and becoming tabloid fodder?)

I am! We can all use a little more feel good music.

For more info on the Backstreet Boys album and appearances click here

For more info on Britney click here (or turn to any tabloid)

What do you think about the return of our pop-stars post the pop-music phenomenon? Will you buy their albums? Do you think they’ll top the charts? Let us know after you listen!

And I don’t have to even get into the music video problem. Or the fact that the channel’s completely lost its bite. The argument is old. Everyone knows MTV has sold out to big business and bling.

The show that highlights everything wrong with what was once our beloved edgy escape? The Hills.

This show is trash. Pure garbage. White 20-somethings bitching and whining that their deep pockets aren’t deep enough and their amazing jobs aren’t amazing enough. Bleach blond, breast-implanted bimbos who aren’t doing a thing to make this world a better place. Interning at Teen Vogue and working the door at some Hollywood club? This is supposed to drama? This is supposed to interesting? This is supposed to be camera worthy?

And god forbid the producers let a person of color or of a different race step into the frame. Darkly tanned and brunet does not count as diversity.

Why do people watch it? Mostly because it’s there, but also because it covers fantasy with a realistic sheen, making most of us mistakenly think we can live the same way. Not many people who move to the Hollywood Hills have millions of dollars in their bank accounts, not many people can stride into any club they please, or land topnotch internships without any experience. The characters on The Hills are famous. Camera crews are following their every move. You and I won’t find that kind of attention and excitement in Hollywood.

I’m sure if we all got together and bombarded MTV until they took these vapid girls and their bitchy boys off the air, they would disappear in a heartbeat, but something tells me it won’t happen. Something tells me this new cooperate MTV has got its claws too deep in the younger generations. Preteens and teenagers who think the shit this channel pumps out is what life is about, and they’ll hold onto their boring TRL and annoyingly egotistical Making the Band 4 until they grow up and realize there’s so much more to living than being rich and popular and knowing all the lyrics to the latest machine created pop hit.

What is going on here? I’ve always loved Kelly Clarkson. In all my years of watching of American Idol, I voted exactly one time and it was for Kelly. I even seriously contemplated dying my hair like the cover of her Thankful album, (with the bright red and platinum blonde streaks). Thankfully, I didn’t– but that’s how much I loved her. Not to mention the fact that nothing is more perfect for a run at the gym or singing along with your car windows down than her last album Breakaway.

So what gives? When I was home over Spring Break, I was shocked when my best friend told me she cringed every time she heard a Kelly Clarkson song.

“WHAT do you mean? I loooove her” I replied in astonishment.

To which my best friend pointed out that on 90% of her songs, Kel screams. “Uch whatever” I thought and I pushed her criticism aside. I mean after all this friend of mine doesn’t like Christina Aguilera OR Chris Daughtry’s voices either- what does she know?!

But the other day I realized… she was right.

I happened to catch her video premiere on TRL for “Never Again” and I was so excited. They even had her live via web cam (she is so cute-I just want to hug her!). But as the music started I realized nothing has changed since she’s been gone- its the same screaming-ranting-hair pulling-angry-rocking out-Kelly Clarkson of “Since you Been Gone” and “Behind These Hazel Eyes”. Check out the video for yourself… the album “My December” was slated for a summer release, but rumor has it, head honcho of Sony BMG-Clive Davis is not impressed with Kelly’s new album and wants to scrap part/all of it. Apparently Ms. Clarkson penned the entire album herself. However, the first single is not being received so well (um I can’t imagine why- maybe cause it uh-sucks?) on the charts.

But I am praying for Kel. she announced her plans for a summer arena tour (and last time I saw her in concert I was rockin o-u-t). My fingers are crossed that the rest of the album is a little more promising.