Here are just a few things I’m looking forward to.

Two words: Tom Cruise.
He’s been making airwaves with his cameos as the potty-mouth, take-no-prisoners executive producer Les Grossman (who first showed up from the superbly funny movie Tropic Thunder). I only hope he’ll come up on stage with his big hands, jump on a couch, gyrate across the stage (in his undies?) and then continue to bitch everyone in the audience out. Classic Tom and classic Les.

The adorable, self-deprecating host, Aziz Ansari.
The MTV Movie Awards usually has pretty good taste with their choices of hosts who are normally pretty funny and likeable. But seriously, who doesn’t love funny men and even more so, funny Indian men. Yah, Aziz isn’t your typical Hollywood hunk, but he’s super endearing. I want him. Yum.

The prolific return of Sandra Bullock.
If ya’ll haven’t picked up my love and respect for Ms. Sandy, I don’t know where you’ve been (or what you’ve got stored up in that place where your heart is supposed to be). She’s going to make her first debut appearance ever since her cheating, lying scum of a husband, Jesse James, cheated on her with multiple women. It’s saying a lot about Sandy by her showing up to the MTV Movie Awards. She’ll be accepting MTV’S Generation Award, which is similar to the Academy’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Ten bucks she gets a standing ovation.

The Twilight Hunks. Yes I really, truly hate Twilight. But I’m not opposed to the men. Robert Pattinson is way too whiny and pale for my taste but Taylor? I would turn shewolf for him. He’s legal now right?

The Other Hunks.
Bradley Cooper, Jason Segel, the boys from The Hurt Locker…. So. many. delicacies.

The Golden Girl.
Betty White. She better show up, or I’ll be upset.

The Best Kiss Award.
Remember when The Notebook won and Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams totally made out for like 5 mins on stage. That was hot. I’m hoping for a repeat between Zoe Saldaña and Sam Worthington….only not blue or freakishly tall like they were in “Avatar.”

The fashion, DUH.
Let’s be honest, no one (read: me) would tune in for the pre-show, the actual show and the post-show if it weren’t for the fashion. Everyone knows that the MTV awards always draw the fiercest, trendiest and sometimes wackiest looks, and I can’t wait to see what the stars pull out. Will there be some Lil’ Kim nipple tassels? A Johnny Depp flannel-around-the-waist moment? And what the hell is J-Woww gonna be wearing?

Well, I guess it’s only a few short hours until we find out!

I’ve got my popcorn …er… who am I kidding? I”ll  be snacking on some cookie dough with a spoon. Don’t judge! It’s good and it’s the only thing worthy of tonight’s big show. And it’s ready to go. Bring on the award show!

Now that I’ve laid that down, in honor of Memorial Day I’d like to give special attention to those movies that actually made me stop the tongue dance and watch the action (on the screen…not under the blanket).  Here’s my (very uninformed) list of the 10 greatest war movies:

The Patriot: Lots of blood and guts, but the costumes make this movie a hit for me.  Plus, Heath Ledger is pretty awesome as an innocent boy who just wants to fight for the country he thought we should have.  Thanks, fictional homie.

Schindler’s List: This is  a must see on any movie list and should probably be your first reference for war movies.  Aside from the incredible performances and intricate plot, I’m lovin’ the black and white effect in this one.  And Liam Neeson?  Very yummy in his day.

The Big Red One: I saw this one while going through a Star Wars phase (…which may or may not still be going on), since it stars a young Mark Hamill [Luke Skywalker]  as a member of a famous heroic band of men.  It’s gritty, bloody, and emotionally satisfying.

Gone With the Wind: I’m gonna include this one because it shows the other side of the war – the home front.  It’s a masterpiece, from the incredible acting to the sweeping score.  I very much enjoy the costumes in this one as well (there might be a trend here…).

Tropic Thunder: So maybe this movie isn’t actually about a war, so much as a movie about a bunch of guys trying to make a movie about a war.  At any rate, there were guns and blood, so it counts.  Plus, it was funny and if you can make a war movie funny then you’ve got some talent, my friend.

Letters From Iwo Jima: I. Love. This. Movie.  It just yields so much win.  This may be because it shows a side of World War II that I’ve never seen before (the Japanese side) represented in a relatively non-biased way or it may be because of all the hot Asian dudes in uniform.  Either one.

Good Morning, Vietnam: I like my funny and I definitely like some rebellion, so Robin Williams really delivers for me in this movie.  As an added bonus, there are some pretty sweet war sequences to get your heart rate a-going.

Braveheart: So this doesn’t actually involve Americans, per se, but I think we can all relate to the basic themes of suppression and rebellion (Revolutionary War, much?).  And the kilts aren’t bad, either.

Pearl Harbor: I’ll say right now that this is one movie where I preferred the fight scenes to the so-called story line of the rest of the movie.  Being as the movie was poorly scripted and very corny, I’m gonna say bring on the guns!

The Pianist: Get the tissues out right now.  Adrian Brody takes us through all levels of WWII, from being a top musician down to starving in the crumbling remains of the Jewish ghetto.  Hope you didn’t like your heart in one piece, because it is so broken after you watch this movie.

What are your favorites?

As it seems, I am currently suffering from a WICKED case of PMS. I have never really fallen victim to this monthly debacle, but in the last 24 hours I have felt overwhelmingly compelled to freak out on nearly everyone I have come into contact with, and, well, have.

For that, I’d like to make amends.

My dear, sweet boyfriend:

Sorry for freaking out on you after you felt compelled to repeat – verbatim – nearly the entire dialog from “Tropic Thunder.” I know you enjoyed the movie, and in a sick way enjoyed how irritated it made me for you to continue doing it, but that was no excuse to smack you on the arm with the blunt force of a car crash then scream at you like a fire-breathing dragon. It was mortifying to see you look so terrified of me.

Waitress at the Goose:

I understand how it can be working in food service; I have been there too, sister. With that in mind, I am sorry for being a total bitch after finding out we were merely 4 minutes late to order food last night. Sure, my eye rolling and walking out of the restaurant without a comment to you was rude, but, in my defense, I had just spent 2 hours watching “Tropic Thunder” and was famished. If I didn’t eat something soon, I was going to lose it and my poor boyfriend was going to be my target practice. I’m sorry for being so rude. In hindsight hanging around, having a few pitchers and enjoying the quick buzz may have been exactly what I needed.

My friends:

Sorry to totally bail out on drinks last night. After having found out “the kitchen closes at 11” I was pissed and starving, grabbed some T-Bell, and called it a night. Really, I was doing the city a favor; the odds of me freaking out on someone were pretty good (or a guarantee). That being said, at 1:45 a.m. when you all called to find out my whereabouts, I am sorry for reacting like the villain of a Disney movie. In the voice of The Dark Knight.

Fellow drivers:

I’ve really had no patience for any of you. Sorry for not letting people in for the sole reason of assuming you are a tool. Sorry for not stopping at stop signs, for using my horn way too much and flipping off that 16-year-old girl who was driving exactly the speed limit (good for you for being responsible).

City of Portland, lovely boyfriend, dear friends and family who I have been a giant bitch to, my bad. I’m sorry. In 24 hours I’ll be back to my sweet, loving self. In the meantime I’ll stay holed up in my apartment alone and spare the world my ferociousness.

George W. likes what he sees at the Olympics

Cuteness Alert: High-fiving dog and adorable baby

A “Trophy Ring” for “Douchebags”

Just let me drink my damn caffeine in peace

Hey, Daniel Radcliff…spare some change?

I want to see Tropic Thunder…but these people don’t

No, really, thank God they invented this. My life was really unlivable without it

Adorable remake of the Dark Knight trailer

Imagine if they were all on the rag together?

Thinking of doing the Detox Diet? Think again

The United States of Cheap Beer