We’ve all done it, slipped a little white lie in when talking to a friend. Your hair looks fine. Of course he’ll call you back. You are absolutely right.

It’s not like you meant to be dishonest, but the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even had the chance to think about them. You’re not lying; you’re sparing her feelings. Does she really need to know that you think she completely overreacted or that no, you don’t think the reason he didn’t call was because he got run over by a truck? You’re just trying to be a good friend. But are you really? Not according to Lori Gottlieb, who believes that being one another’s “yes women” is turning our BFFs into our worst enemies.

I pride myself on always telling the truth, in friendships, in relationships, and at work. Always. Honesty is not only important; it’s necessary. It builds trust, gains respect, and keeps things simple. There is not a single situation that could possibly be made less complicated by lying. At least, that’s what I strive for, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I too have caved to the pressure of being a “yes women” on more than one occasion.

According to Gottlieb a “yes women” is a friend who tells you exactly what you want to hear. She reiterates your opinion right back to you, squashing your fears and reaffirming your beliefs. She makes you feel better about yourself, while also making herself feel better. If you’re right, then so is she. There’s safety in numbers. Misery loves company. We’re just helping each out, right?

Wrong. We think that by lying to our friends we’re helping them, when we’re actually doing just the opposite. Honesty is the best policy. It’s a tried and true cliché for a reason. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth? Isn’t it better that you have a BFF who cares enough to withstand your rage when she disagrees about your new boyfriend? Sometimes, the truth hurts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable. Read More »

Graduation is over. Your itchy and unflattering cap and gown are hung nicely in the back of your closet. You and your best friends huddle around your digital camera on the living room couch for the last time and look at pictures from graduation. You laugh and you cry (unless you are a guy, in which case you punch each other) as you reflect on all your great times together.

It is hard to imagine living without these awesome people.

But, you just might have to.

Everyone is now going in different directions and will soon be spread across the country starting their post college lives. Everyone will have new jobs, new friends and new people to take absurd selfies with (though this time during happy hour instead of at your house party). Sure, there is AIM, Facebook and free nights and weekends on your cell phone, but who is to say that these people won’t dump you the minute they hit the real world? Read More »