I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments! Read More »

Did you know that August was originally named Sextilis? In ancient times there seemed to be pretty high expectations for this month. But throughout history August has gained a bad reputation for being the most unfortunate month of the year. It’s the only month without a major national holiday, the month when WWI started, the month when atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the month when Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe died.

At least Scotland has the Edinburgh Festival; here in the States, August is the month where summer days go to die, and when poor little children have to put down their toys and go back to school.

BUT, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be all bad; we’re just going to make the best of it. And it’s really not hard. There’s lots goin’ on in August.  Like cheese? It’s National Goat Cheese Month. Wanna be like Tiger Woods? National Golf Month. Starting your own business? Home Business Month and National Inventors Month. August doesn’t have to be all bad.

Aug 1- MTV Debuted
On this day in 1981, music videos found their home on the instantly-popular, new music channel: MTV. As you know, they’ve expanded now to not only include music (or, should I say, not include music at all), but reality shows as well. Get your 15 seconds (or an entire season) of fame by being on the Real World, which is casting right now! Or if the 24/7 camera-in-the-face non-stop-drama lifestyle doesn’t appeal to you, then apply for Made or True Life, both of which have considerably less screaming and flashing.

Aug 2 – National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
Ok, these may not be in sandwich form, but custom-made, mix-your-own ice cream?! I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.

Aug 12- Middle Children’s Day (who knew it existed? And does this mean us middle kids can finally get the love and attention we deserve?!) Read More »

So you met a boy. A perfect boy. A boy who loves True Life marathons and Frosted Mini Wheats as much as you do. A boy who kissed you on the cheek after walking you home and took your number (instead of drunk-friending you on Facebook). You totally heart him.

After coming in the house and telling your roommates all about how sweet and funny and “OMG he was wearing the hottest jeans,” you lay in bed thinking about him. And make a mental note to get a bikini wax ASAP, because you will most definitely be seeing him (in the buff) sometime soon.

You spend the next day clutching your phone, willing it to ring. You take it to the library, the gym and even into the bathroom. You jump every time the phone rings and mentally prepare yourself to turn on the charm, only to realize it’s a friend or, of course, your mom. Finally, you receive a text message:

Hungover in the library. Not fun Read More »

I don’t know what it is about MTV, but I am addicted. Those crafty little sons of b*tches in Times Square know their target audience. They have me – and everyone else in the 12-30 age bracket – convinced that what we should really want to watch on TV are really attractive, dumb people saying really dumb (and totally unscripted) things. There’s really nothing quite like a mind-numbing “Next” marathon when you feel like death on Sunday afternoon and they know this.

However, I’m able to cut MTV some slack because they aren’t always the network that shows hot people doing dumb things 24/7. Every once in awhile they cook up an awesome little nugget of TV goodness with some real substance. For example, they devote a decent amount of airtime to True Life. I’m pretty sure the only way you’d not know about True Life is if you had been living under a rock (or without basic cable) for the last ten years, but just in case you don’t know, every ep of True Life tells the entirely true story of 2 or 3 young people who are dealing with a particular issue. Sometimes its personal (“I’m Afraid of Intimacy”), other time it’s situational (“I Have A Summer Share ”), but either way it’s always AWESOME.

The only problem with True Life? There are just so.many.amazing.episodes – and equally as many that never air more than once. Actually this story ended up taking me a lot longer to write than originally planned because I spent more time watching the episodes online than writing about them. (Which reminds me – thank you MTV for putting these all online!) However, I was eventually able to peel my eyeballs away from the episodes and back to my open Word document to write up this list of my faves: Read More »

Is there an album coming? We hope so.

MMM! A diet you can live with…

Sarah Palin in Eff-Me boots! Never thought I’d see the day…

Candy kisses for Valentine’s Day!

These peeps went all out for Superbowl!

Awesome give-away for us single girls…

Glam up your make-up!

Emma Watson looking like a vamp!! Verrry sexy!

Clutches these days hold EVERYTHING!

Lily Allen! What were you thinking?!

True Life: I’m a Porn Addict? What?!

Because our usual I Love Money recapper is enjoying a summer vacay (lucky biatch), I was commissioned to watch and recap the most recent episode of the show. Now, I would just like to say that I watch a LOT of bad TV. A lot. My DVR currently holds too many episodes of What Not To Wear, some reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Engaged and Underage and, of course, True Life, I’m a Staten Island Girl.

Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.

This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously. Read More »

I have something shocking to tell you:

I just went a full 24 hours without Internet or TV.

I know it is hard to believe – impossible, even – but it is easy to go twenty-four hours without checking your email, refreshing your Facebook home page to see if there are any new updates from your friends and watching old re-runs of True-Life, I’m Moving to New York.

Unfortunately, I have become one of those girls who, in her downtime, sits with her laptop, refreshing Facebook every twenty seconds (just in case someone changes their status!) while watching reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 on the Soap Network. Did my ex-boyfriend break up with that tramp he’s been dating? Did my best friend add a new band to her favorite music? And did that person that I met once (and therefore HAD to add as a friend) add a new application?

Sad? Absolutely. Addicting? You bet.

In an effort to get my life back, I decided to throw caution to the wind and step away from technology. Read More »

Again, I saw the end well before I saw the beginning.

It’s a brand new day in the house and Hotlanta gets a call telling her that she’s going to be evicted. Dude, pay your rent – don’t use the cash to go on a reality show.

The challenge for this episode is ridiculous – like more so than usual. Flav wants to get married one day and he’s going to see if any of these girls are marriage material. Three teams of – I don’t know what they are doing. One’s a bride, another is a maid of honor and another writes an objection for another team. Why?

Hotlanta drinks to prep, as would I. Who donated the gowns for this mess?

Flav looks as bizarre as one would expect him to look for his own wedding. Tree objects to Black’s marriage to Flav in the most insane dramatical manner. Total man.

Hotlanta gets married while drunk. Sinceer objects and then there’s a commercial break.

And I missed stuff because I switched to MTV and found a “True Life” about a kid who wants to be a tap dancer – when I switched back, I missed the objection and Thing 2 is marrying Flav. Proto-type objects saying that Thing 2 didn’t know that his real name is William Drayton. Seriously? Read More »

As any child of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s knows, these days, MTV is a virtual wasteland. A repetitious, celebrity obsessed, materialistic channel that now seems to hire VJ’s based on their height and weight rather than their music expertise. My Super Sweet Sixteen makes any girl who had less than 1500 people and 17 white ponies at her birthday feel like she was cheated, and if you happen to be out of high school, there’s almost nothing—with the exception of True Life—that deals with your issues.

And I don’t have to even get into the music video problem. Or the fact that the channel’s completely lost its bite. The argument is old. Everyone knows MTV has sold out to big business and bling.

The show that highlights everything wrong with what was once our beloved edgy escape? The Hills.

This show is trash. Pure garbage. White 20-somethings bitching and whining that their deep pockets aren’t deep enough and their amazing jobs aren’t amazing enough. Bleach blond, breast-implanted bimbos who aren’t doing a thing to make this world a better place. Interning at Teen Vogue and working the door at some Hollywood club? This is supposed to drama? This is supposed to interesting? This is supposed to be camera worthy? Read More »