In a recent New York Times article titled “Students of Virginity,” about college students who choose to abstain from sex, one founder of the Harvard abstinence club said, “We wanted to make abstinence look fun; interesting.” OK, I understand how abstaining from sex can be safer than actually having sex. But abstinence is fun? I wasn’t aware.

Choosing to abstain from sex until marriage is a personal choice you make, and I’m not quite sure I understand the need for abstainers to work on convincing others that their way is best. On Valentine’s Day 2007, members of the True Love Revolution sent out valentines to freshman girls saying, “Why wait? Because you’re worth it.”

So, you’re telling us we need to save ourselves for marriage because we’re worth a lot…and by not waiting, we’re lessening our worth? Whoa. Will men not want to be with us because we’re, gasp, tarnished? This year, they sent the valentines to both freshman women and men. So, now it seems we’re all lessening our worth by having sex.

Janie Fredell, president of the True Love Revolution at Harvard asks, “Why bond yourself so intensely when you’re not sure you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this person?” which is, to some, a valid point. But to others, sex does not necessarily mean intense boding. And in this day and age, let’s be honest, marriage does not always mean forever. Is there ever a time when you can be sure you’re going to spend the rest of your life with a person? Should we be so cautious in life that we pass up every chance to love as fully as we can because, this might not last forever? Or should we live in the moment, enjoy our sexuality smartly, and learn to deal with our broken hearts and bruised egos?

Then again, Fredell seems to have a way of dealing with her sexual urges that the rest of us could maybe learn from. According to the article, “Whenever sexual urges struck…she was able to manage them by going on a long run and assumed that everyone should be able to do the same. ‘The biological drive can be overcome,’ she said. ‘It’s not like it reaches a peak, and you have to go out and have sex.’” Wow. I wasn’t aware you could repress your sexual urges and didn’t absolutely need to have sex. Maybe I should try that whole running thing when the urge strikes me.

According to Fredell, “It takes a strong woman to be abstinent, and that’s the sort of woman I want to be.” I tend to be more on the side of Harvard student and Sex and the Ivy blogger, Lena Chen who says, “For me, being a strong woman means not being ashamed that I like to have sex…to say that I have to care about every person I have sex with is an unreasonable expectation. It feels good! It feels good!”

Really, I think being a strong woman means making your own choices. Being a strong woman means having sex when you choose to and not when some guy is pressuring you to. And being a strong woman is choosing not to have sex because you don’t want to, not because some organization is pressuring you.

I would never look down on someone’s decision not to have sex and hope nobody would look down on my decision to have sex. And really, if you have ways of showing me not having sex is fun, by all means, bring them on.

Just as soon as I get back from my run.

Begun around a year ago at Harvard by students Justin Murray and Sarah Kinsella, the “True Love Revolution” club is all about abstinence.

That’s right. A club devoted to sexless—until marriage—relationships.

As of today, Murray and Kinsella are still dating, still keeping their club alive (with activities like sending out 800 pink cards to female Freshmen last Valentine’s Day which read “Celebrate love, celebrate life, celebrate you: Why wait? Because you’re worth it”), and still doing almost nothing except “kissing and cuddling”.

How they’re holding on is anyone’s guess.

Murray and Kinsella’s club is not the first abstinence club to pop up on college campuses, and certainly won’t be the last.

Princeton and MIT both have them, with Yale following close behind. While Harvard’s branch tries to stay away from politics and religion, it’s no surprise that most members—Murray and Kinsella included—identify with traditional Christian beliefs.

While I don’t begrudge Justin and Sarah a happy life, I’m still thoroughly confused by their complicated relationship, and their club’s name. Are they claiming true love is only possible if a couple waits until marriage to have sex? And what about the fact that they’re about to be engaged after only a year and half, right out of college? Isn’t that a little hasty? Does the engagement have anything to do with the fact that once married, they can finally get down and dirty? And if so…isn’t that an odd reason to pledge yourself to someone until death?

I’m not trying to discredit their stance, just question it, because in my experience, all the 20-Somethings I know who have pledged to wait have fast forwarded to the marriage stage. They’re all married now. Which is fine…if you feel like giving up your individuality at the tender age of 23.

So let the “True Love Revolution” club, and all clubs like it, do their thing on campuses across the country. I’m fine with innocent couples like Murray and Kinsella being around, I’ll just never agree with them that sex is a bigger deal than marriage.

Sure, having sex with someone who’s not exactly marriage material isn’t great, but it’s a lot better than becoming their wife.

Okay. Fine. College has a lot to do with having sex. Everyone’s horny and when there’s alcohol involved, people get hornier. It’s only natural. Yes, I think too much of anything (even sex with random guys) isn’t healthy. But I don’t think sex is a bad thing or something not to be had.

Which brings me to Harvard. The campus that has both created a student-run “porn” magazine and now “True Love Revolution.” Yeah, the name is a little dramatic, I know. Anyway, this is a group on campus founded by a couple (Sarah Kistella and Justin Murray) who think too much mindless sex goes on all over campus. I’ll interpret that as meaning people don’t think before they have it. Hmmm … okay.

And they believe students are sexing it up so much because the unversity encourages it. How? Well apparently having the incoming freshman attend seminars on date rape with some free condoms on the side are aphrodisiacs. Give me a break. This is done to educate people about sex. That’s more imporant than simply telling them not to do it at all.

Abstinence is none sense. Hey, if you want to be celibate. Cool. But at least be knowledgable about the subject. Harvard University is promoting sexual safety, not the act itself.