Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I cheated on my boyfriend but now I want him back. I realized that the other guy that I was cheating with wasn’t that great so I really want to get back with my guy. He said okay we can get back together but the problem is that while we weren’t together (he broke up with me when he found out I cheated) he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and everything and that he wouldn’t see anyone else because he wanted to get back together.

Well the thing is, Tuffy, I just found out that he was talking to another girl while we weren’t together. He said he wouldn’t do that so now I feel like I can’t trust him. He told me about it because he said he feels bad about it but he says nothing happened, they just went out to dinner. But I’m so mad at him. He keeps apologizing but I feel like I need something bigger. Should I just get back with him like my heart wants or should I make him show he’s sorry first?

Please post this Tuffy; this is the third time I’m emailing you.

Gina

Dear Gina,

The reason I didn’t respond to your question the first two times was to spare you from what I was going to say. But, hey, if you insist:

This is totally effed. Sorry Gina, but you’re completely in the wrong here. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. You cheat on him, but he’s the one who’s supposed to beg your forgiveness?! That’s just messed upp.

So what do I think you should do? Read More »

As I said last week, when I’m with my friends I tend to feel like the mom of the group; the one without the fun stories, the exciting crushes and the long drunken nights with friends. Well, I’ve recently discovered that there are some perks to being the momma of the group and the only girl in my group in a long term relationship.

I’ve become the one that everyone else comes to for advice or when they have an awkward relationship/sex questions.

Case in point: Last week I was at the gym with my friend who is one of the sweetest, most innocent girls you could meet. We were jogging around the track just doin’ our thing when she asked me if she could ask a bit of an embarrassing question. “Of course,” I huffed, not knowing what to expect. Especially knowing what came next.

“What’s giving a blow job like?”

I couldn’t believe one of my best friends, especially her, was asking me such a blunt question! On the track! But I realized that it took a lot for her to ask me that and that she must really value my opinion (considering I’ve never even heard her use that term before!), so I gave her the best description I could and answered all of her related questions. Quietly, of course, there were other people running around us.

Having a serious relationship has turned me into the go-to girl for my friends with relationship questions. They have told me that they know I’ve been through a lot and they value my advice. And I have to admit, giving out relationship advice is kind of fun! I like being the all-knowing sage and helping people who may not be where I am with Matt. It’s my unique way of contributing to the group when they’re all sharing stories and that I can no longer relate to. It makes me feel wanted and connected to a group that I sometimes worry I’m growing apart from. Read More »

"I swear, I wasn't cheating on you."

Need some advice? Ask nicely and I’ll hook you up. Email me at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com and I’ll get back to you on the fly.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Please respond! I’m in a rough spot.

Also, this is a very long story.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We love each other very much and he is my best friend, but we have had a lot of trust issues. It all started close to a year into our relationship. I went over to his apartment one evening to hang out and he was watching football so I sat down at his computer to entertain myself with the internet. I wasn’t snooping but something in an open AIM window caught my eye. The last line of the conversation read “Wait don’t you have a girlfriend?” So being curious I read the rest of the convo. To sum the whole thing up, this chick (who he had been trying to set his good friend up with) was flirting with him and he said ” If I were to go there, or you were to come here, we would hook up. Don’t pretend like it wouldn’t happen.” And she pretty much agreed.

So after reading this I confronted him. He said that in the process of trying to hook his friend up with her, the girl developed feelings for my boyfriend and he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I told him  that he needed to be honest with her and tell her that he has a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen between them. I made him show me the AIM conversation in which he said this to her.

Understandably, after this incident I became intensely paranoid. So, I stole his Myspace password. Not only his Myspace password but Facebook, Yahoo, and Gmail. I know that that’s really horrible but I didn’t know what else to do because I really didn’t want to break up with him but I didn’t feel I could trust him. Everything had been fine until twice in the past month or two the girl that originally set this whole thing into motion has sent naked pictures to his Gmail. Read More »

Blonde is my natural hair color. I rarely drink this much. I’m enjoying being single.

We all lie, in some form or another. We lie to our parents (it’s not a hangover; it’s a stomach bug), our teachers (I’m late because the bus was delayed, not because I forgot to set my alarm), our employers (it’s my mom’s birthday, not some girl in my hall’s 21^st) and our sexual partners (you’re the best I’ve ever had!).

Lying to someone you’re sleeping with is dangerous territory, though. By lying to them, you could be endangering their physical (or mental) health. Which lies are OK to tell, and what things do we have to fess up too?

Lie: I’ve never worn this lingerie for anyone else.

Verdict: OK. We all have a favorite pair of lingerie, and we’ve probably worn it with more than one partner. After all, good lingerie is expensive, and we shouldn’t have to throw it out just because a relationship ends. But your partner probably doesn’t want to know what you wore last time you canoodled with someone else, so it’s okay to keep that information to yourself, or fib a little if it comes up.

Lie: I never slept with [insert friend here].

Verdict: BAD. The truth will come out eventually, and it will not be pretty. How would you feel if you found out one of your partner’s close friends was actually someone they used to sleep with? It’s best to have this information up front. Read More »

After a recent production with a free love hippie who was supposedly sleeping sexily only in my bed, I have some questions.

This boy, god bless is heart, is an intimacy ninja. While he swears to every god under the sun, as well as the sun, that he has only been pairing his goodies with my goodies, he also has a couple of female friends with whom he cuddles. As in wraps his arms and legs around in a loving way.

And it is nothing more than a feel-good display of affection.

Upon announcing this to my girlfriends, the reactions varied, but all in the same direction:

“He CUDDLES with other girls? WHAAAAAAT?”

Upon announcing the news break to my male friends, the reactions were pretty humiliating:

“You’re an idiot, he is totally f*cking these girls.”

I’d reckon you might be feeling one of these two things right now, too. But let’s break it down. Read More »

Suspicion and jealousy ruin a lot of relationships. And, thanks to the internet, we can ruin relationships as quickly as we can make them. It’s an ugly cycle, but it brings out the truth in some situations, whether or not we want to see it.So, would you ever read a boy’s email?

It’s a crazy b*tch move, sure. You might even argue that if you can’t trust a person enough to not read their email, then you shouldn’t be with them. But is that always true? Read More »

I know what I think cheating is. You know what you think cheating is. But what do guys consider cheating? Is it sex? Is it a kiss? Is it a kiss, but only with tongue? Is it snuggling?

Hopefully, you will never have to know, but understanding what your guy is thinking can definitely eliminate some un-needed drama. It is well-known that most men think of cheating only in the physical sense. What about the other stuff? Sure, they may not be gettin’ naked, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t being unfaithful in some other way.

I asked my favorite guy to clue me (and you) in on a guy’s view of cheating. I just hope more guys think like him. Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv?! Email her questions! Millions and millions of questions! Shoot your email to tuffy@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I tend to be quick to trust and I need to work on that!

Recently it has come to my attention that one of, to my knowledge, BEST friends was actually talking behind my back to a couple other close friends. I only found this out recently after our friendship had disintegrated due to her never responding to my phone calls and emails after I had moved. I felt so crappy after she stopped responding to me. People around me were shocked because we were tied at the hip and everyone thought we were best friends (yay at least i’m not going crazy!)

Apparently though she found me annoying and couldn’t wait until I moved away so that she could stop hanging out with me.

WOW how high school can you get?! If you didn’t want to hang out with me why didn’t you just say so BEFORE I moved instead of making me look like a JACKASS thinking we were best friends!

Whew. Ok. Sorry. I’m back from my rant. So, anyway, long story short something similar happened to me before with another friend as well (she manipulated me for her own twisted amusement and then dumped me when she was done) and I have a bad feeling it is also happening currently with some close friends I met when I moved (I have a feeling that they are only keeping me around to use me for something but I don’t know what that “something” is yet).

Do you have any tips for me on how to stop being so trusting of other people? Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Hey tuffy! I send this to Ryan, but i’m not sure on what’s his status whether he still gives advice or not, so just to be sure since this is driving me nuts i’ll send it to you!

Here’s my prob!

There’s this guy i initially met during training at work who instantly I knew was attracted to me by the little things he did (constantly looking, his friends trying to bring up his name in a conversation/leaving us when we’re together..blah blah blah). After a month or so, the feelings became mutual and our occasional waves when we saw each other turned into him walking me to my car after work, us exchanging numbers (which resulted into convos that lasted in the the early AM), sitting together at breaks, and texting non-stop as well as him telling me personal things about himself.

It’s to the point where everyone think’s we’re together. I kept wondering why he hadn’t asked me out yet, and then finally had to ask the question if he had a girlfriend. With my luck, the answer was ‘Yes’. I found it incredibly odd because he would never mention her, even after he gave me my answer it was almost like she was invisible. Instantly I said to myself I would only keep our conversations at a friendly level, thinking it would get easier since I switched shifts and would not see him as often. I even went as far to tell him that I would not be calling him because I found it disrespectful to call another woman’s boyfriend. Read More »

So there’s this evolutionary theorist in London who’s pretty sure that in about 100,000 years, the human race will be divided into Hot or Not.

Seriously.

According to Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics, by the year 3000, “the human race [will] peak”, and people will start to become much choosier about their partners, “causing humanity to divide into sub-species”.

“The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative” Curry insists, while the “underclass” will have “evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.”

Curry goes on to explain how women will look in the distant future, and while I’m sure his description is based in science, I can’t help but wonder if he’s not letting just a little bit of male fantasy slip into this description.

“Women…will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features”.

So basically, we’ll look like a combination of a hot robot and an Anime character. Read More »