Planned Parenthood just turned down a donation of $500,000. At first glance, that seems like an awfully dumb thing to do. Why would an organization that needs so much support right now turn down a donation that large? Because the proposed donation was from Tucker Max. Yes, the same Tucker Max that has made a career of being a slimy, misogynist womanizer. If you don’t know who he is, I’ll direct you to his Wikipedia page, because I don’t want to dignify his website with the traffic.

Max has made derogatory comments about Planned Parenthood in the past. One of his tweets about the organization reads: “Planned Parenthood would be cooler if it was a giant flight of stairs, w/someone pushing girls down, like a water park slide.” And don’t forget this one: “In South Florida. This place is awful. Shitty design, slutty whores & no culture, like a giant Planned Parenthood waiting room.”

Max thought it would be super clever and funny to donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood, which would have gotten a clinic named after him. It was supposed to be a way to promote his new book. You know, so that all the “slutty whores” he writes about can go and get abortions at a clinic named after him! Ugh.

“Jokes” like this one are the last thing women need right now. With so many people working to label women who get abortions and use contraception as sluts, Planned Parenthood was right to turn down Max’s donation. At first, I wondered if it was something they could have turned around to their advantage. Maybe they could have used his money to educate women about misogyny and date rape. But Planned Parenthood is fighting so much opposition right now, and it would have been a bad move to accept money from someone whose image goes against practically everything they stand for. The whole mission of Planned Parenthood is to promote women’s health and our right to affordable healthcare. The last thing they need is for a “Tucker Max” clinic to bring ridicule to their organization.

Since the rest of the words I have for Tucker Max are not appropriate to publish on this site, I made a gallery instead. Here are 10 awesome things that I’ve always wanted, but would never accept if they came from Tucker Max.

initiating the gallery...

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

Why you need to be obsessed with Michael Fassbender

More reasons to loathe Tucker Max

Which daytime soap is moving to primetime?

Pulling off the rhinestone nails look

Getting over a fear of cuddling

Defending the manic pixie dream girl

First the ladies, now the Disney princes get cover treatment

Taking care of business

We need ALL the things

Is there anything better than spending a day reading on the beach, getting a golden glow, and sipping on a Pina Colada? I mean, I’m just guessing that would be the best. My beach days are usually more about trying to keep my hair from birds-nesting in the wind, spraying on SPF 75, and half-heartedly drinking warm beer that’s on the verge of boiling in the sun. But I do love opening up a good book, getting lost in the story, and ignoring the fact that there’s an elderly man walking back and forth wearing a a speedo thong.

And that’s why I asked all our wonderful CollegeCandy writers to tell us their favorite beach read. Because who knows books better than our writers? (Okay, that sounds cocky, I was just trying to drive home the point that they picked some great books…)

initiating the gallery...

-“Easy A” premiered and, though it wasn’t what we were expecting, we’re kinda obsessed.

-We got to experience the UT shooting through the eyes of a CollegeCandy writer who was present (and thankfully safe and sound).

-The high school vs. college homecoming debate carried on strong.  Over-the-top “Will you go to homecoming with me?” gestures rivaled the low-budge face paint and a beer approach of university life.  But which won out?  That’s for you to decide.

-Our resident sorority girl took a break this week and let the CC Panhel board tell you why you should consider- and perhaps reconsider- going through rush.

-We found a new favorite show on television.  Helllloooo, James Wolk! But boo. It got canceled already.

-The CollegeCandy guide to surviving senior year made its debut.  Savor each one of those dollar beers, get your picture taken with the mascot, and always RSVP yes to Wino Wednesday…but don’t forget to balance work in there, too.

- We remember that group projects still suck.

-The most loved and hated undergarment turned 100.  Happy Birthday to bras everywhere!

-Tucker Max: hard-partying douche bag, general tool, complete ass…and hero? One writer has a major crush

-Mattel finally gets real with “Anchorwoman Barbie,” but we have a few other suggestions that will appeal to the modern women of today.

Tucker Max is my hero.

I understand if you’re so angry your vision is blurred and you can no longer read this article.  However, I think you should take a moment to clear your head and absorb what I’m about to write.

When I first walked into Barnes and Noble on a quest to buy Tucker Max’s first book, ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell‘ I was nervous and slightly excited.  I’d been hearing so much about it, I couldn’t resist reading it.  So I brought it home, tried to cover it up with a magazine from my roommates and dug in.

I sat in my bed for three hours, missed the premiere of ‘Project Runway’ and finished it in one sitting.  The book was pure gold.  He was a complete and utter a-hole and it was so amazingly brilliant I wanted to put the book on a pedestal in my room labeled: Pagan among a-holes. Unable to keep it to myself, I ran into the living room, waved the book over my head and shouted to (at?) my roommates how amazing Tucker Max was.  The girls responded in a variety of ways, but mostly by looking at me like I had just told them I had a collection of gnomes in my basement.

They were scared.

And now, four years later, Tucker Max is coming out with his second a-hole book called, “A**holes Finish First,” because, according to Tucker Max himself, “What do you do when you’ve become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I’ll tell you what I do: I write another effing book.” It’s in stores today, September 28th, in case you want to change your life.  And I’m so excited.

I understand it’s a little weird for a chick to be totally obsessed with Tucker Max. I get it – he’s a dick.  OK, maybe ‘dick’ is an understatement.  He is an extremely offensive, terrible human being. In all of his stories, he totally degrades women, uses them and blatantly says incredibly offensive things about them. But I don’t love him because I want him in the sack or because I believe his rants are necessarily great for our society (even if he did once make a very good point);  I love him because he is a outlet of hilarity I simply cannot resist.

Now, before you stalk my life and attempt to ruin it, hear me out. Essentially, I’m confused as you are about my kudos for Mr. Max.  Sure, go ahead and blame me for being the typical stupid college girl who loves a-holes. But, let’s be honest here, ladies: don’t all women love the bad guy? Maybe it’s his honesty I love most about him.  He is a brutally, fatally honest ass hat. His books are so juicy and wonderful, I want to give him a hug.  Or maybe he’s insecure and I secretly feel bad for him.  Or may his one-liners (and rants about McGriddles) are worth my weight in gold nuggets.

I don’t support his actions and it feels weird to fork my money over to the kind of douchey frat boy my friends and I loathe, but I can’t help it. And I don’t care what anyone says, I will scream it on roof tops: Tucker Max is my hero.

Random hook ups are not only not shunned in college, they’re expected. College is a get-by-free pass for having fun and making out.

I’m not saying everyone hooks up in college, but for the majority of the student body, hooking up is a given.  Meeting new prospective hook-ups you’ll most likely regret in the morning and dish with your roomies is as expected as walking into the library and walking out with a book. It’s free and returnable.

Under most circumstances, girls will say hooking up is fun and carefree.  After a few beers, there is nothing wrong with making out and fooling around with a cute college boy that has a baby-face and likes to dance with you next to the beer pong table.  And hooking up doesn’t have to involve drinking either.  We’re all familiar with the term ‘booty-call.’  Simple attraction and a life sans parental units can ignite hook-ups and the ‘no strings attached’ attitude.  That’s why hooking up is fun!  You never have to worry about meeting families, what his favorite baseball team is, or if you should text him or call him the next day.

But, what if hook-ups are about more than ‘I just want to let loose and have fun?’  Before I say this next statement, you somehow have to bare with me. OK, here goes: I read ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ by Tucker Max and while the guy is a complete douche, I think he might be onto something.  Whew, OK, punch a pillow or something pretending it’s my face.  Now that we got that out of the way, here’s why I think Mr. Max may have made a valid point.  He once stated that he goes for girls who are insecure because they are the easiest to hook up with.  Ignoring the fact that Tucker Max introduced this concept to me, hear me out.

What if hooking up is more than fun and games?  What if we hook up because we’re insecure? Think about it: insecurities make people do silly things and hooking up with a random is definitely silly.  Although we may think we’re “having fun” and “getting some,” are we really just filling a void? Trying to build ourselves up/ Insecurities make us feel unloved and unwanted; is hooking up a crutch to help us feel like we’re loved and wanted, if only momentarily?

The attention gained from a hook-up feels positive and real.  For as long as a hook-up lasts (whether it’s for a night, or an ongoing affair), it makes us feel better. You’re with a guy that is clearly attracted to you enough to be rolling around the sheets with you. You feel sexy, wanted, and excited to be a part of the hook-up culture so prevalent on campus. Do we play these random nights up in our head to be “fun” when really they are a failed attempt in emotional attentiveness? Are we so insecure that we fear a real relationship, thus hooking up to avoid the feelings (and potential rejection) that a real, healthy relationship would provide?

Let that sink in for a moment.
Then ponder this:

Can we have a solid hook-up completely sans insecurity, or is insecurity in a hook-up as expected as the awkward walk-of-shame in the morning? Could Tucker Max be right (yes, I used Tucker Max and the word ‘right’ in the same sentence), or is it possible for perfectly confident girls to be in it for fun?

It’s your call. What do you think?

“I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” is a controversial memoir by Tucker Max. If you read this website as religiously as I do, you know all about our feelings on this guy. If you are a newcomer and or live under a rock somewhere and have never heard of Max, here is his life:

Average guy.
Started a website.
Sleeps with women.
Posts his stories about the horrible things he does to said women.
Published this book and then turned it into a movie.
Guys laugh. Girls laugh.

Now, let me just say this as my disclaimer: I DO NOT AGREE WITH TUCKER MAX. I don’t think that any of the things that he does to women are right and, if they happened to me, I’m sure I would have some psychological damage. However, I have a hard time believing the truth in all of his stories (as 10% of a biography or memoir can be embellished). If you’ve read the book, you know the ridiculous things I’m talking about. And, yes, assuming that his stories are somehow exaggerated does make me feel a bit less guilty while laughing at them.

But, my point…

This book got me thinking (something I’m sure wasn’t on Max’s list of goals when writing it). In these stories Tucker does not force a woman to do any of the things they do; he simply suggests it. Obviously, some of these acts only happen because the women are beyond smashed, but really, I think Tucker inadvertently brings up a great point: why do we let men make fools of us?

The women Tucker writes about are so completely and utterly desperate that they will do WHATEVER he says. Example: After sleeping with an overweight girl, Tucker forces her to jump out of his apartment window. Yes, horrific. Beyond horrific. But THAT WOMAN AGREED. What would have happened if she had simply said, No? Probably nothing. She would have walked out the front door, Tucker’s roommates may have teased him, and I know for sure that story wouldn’t have made it into “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.”

Oh yeah – and this woman may still have a shred of dignity.

Because woman after woman has let Tucker get away with this stuff, he tries it on all of them. I’m sure there are some girls out there who have stood up and said no to this guy. But we don’t know about those women because their stories are never told. If all women that Tucker encountered said no, then he would have no career. He makes money off of women who have some crazy self-esteem issues so when a guy like Max comes around who shows ANY interest in them and he says “Jump!” they respond, “Out of that window?”

While Max’s book was meant to entertain (and entertain it did!), there is something to learn here. Stick up for yourself! Don’t put up with an abusive man (yes, verbal abuse and humiliation are still abuse). If a man tries to pull a Tucker Max, tell him where to shove it instead. You teach people how to teach you; respect yourself, know your self-worth and I promise you, you will end up with a partner who treats you like a princess.

So, I would like to thank Tucker Max for “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” and for teaching us all a lesson about respecting ourselves. Hell, it may even be worth picking up a copy and arming yourself against the kind of scummy guys in this world. But, just know that all men are not jerks and a good one will NEVER be ashamed of you.

Or humiliate you for a few bucks and a movie deal.

But after I have seen writers on CollegeCandy post in a Tucker Max-esque fashion and get bashed for it, I have been turned me off to the idea of writing my own book altogether.  And the comments on CollegeCandy’s recent post on Tucker Max only added fuel to the flame, as readers uncharacteristically turned the other cheek to his antics. The writer’s opinion was that Max and his antics are misogynistic and simply not funny. But the majority of the comments on the post begged to differ.

“I read every single story on the Tucker Max website about 4 years ago…and they were hilarious to me. And I’m a girl with self-respect who would never want to be someone featured in a story like that, but I don’t feel bad for those women. It was their decision to sleep with him and he happened to get some great stories out of it. I understand that a lot of people don’t appreciate smut humor..but obviously a lot of people do (including A LOT of girls considering that at least half his fan base consists of them).”

“He’s funny because he’s ridiculous. Though you can’t believe all he writes because I’m pretty sure some stories are made up/exaggerated, no one actually lives that kind of life.”

“fat girls ARE NOT real people”

It’s funny that people are so quick to praise Max for his shenanigans, but when other writers on CollegeCandy write similar stories from their own life experiences, comments such as “wow, you’re mother must be proud” litter the cornucopia of holier-than-thou responses. I, myself, have written articles anonymously for CollegeCandy because I know the comments I will receive will be derogatory, no matter how well written, ridiculous and humorous the story may be.

So for people to be so supportive of Max and his quest to document his sexual plight and yet bash other writers for exactly the same content on CollegeCandy is one of the hypocrisies of life that I will despise until my dying day.

If Tucker Max can write about the time a girl vomited on his dick while his buddy videotaped it from inside a closet and we can all laugh and pat him on the back, then why don’t we all ease up a bit when it comes to comical and usually sarcastic posts written on CollegeCandy. My mom may not be proud of me, but that’s not for you to judge.

Now, four years later, Max has a bestselling book (based on his website), another collection of stories set to be released soon, and a movie that comes out today. Max has been touring with I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell to college campuses all over the country since August, where, according to him, the film’s reception has been fantastic. He’s even been able to talk a girl into making an x-ray video of her giving him a blowjob during the tour. And judging by how much money The Hangover made this summer—over $270 million—it seems likely that the same idiot frat boys who’ve been attending Max’s premieres could make IHTSBIH a hit as well.

But why, exactly, are people enamored with this guy? Putting aside the way that Max has been called out for lying about his stories on several occasions, and the way that, despite his protests to the contrary, Max is obviously and venomously misogynistic (right, a guy who thinks “fat girls aren’t real people” doesn’t hate women), the fact remains that Tucker Max is. not. funny. Sure, his name is funny—it sounds like something Mattel would call a slightly wimpy action figure—but the stories themselves are nothing special. Unfortunately for Tucker Max, being convinced of your own originality and talent—and frequently referring to yourself in the third person—doesn’t automatically transform you into a comic genius.  The women (and men) who have been protesting Max during his tour have their hearts in the right place, but instead of calling him out for being a sexist prick, they should be objecting to how lame he is.

Most of the reviews of IHTSBIH give me hope for the future: Time Out New York calls it “painfully unfunny,” and the A.V. club thinks it’s “frankly boring.” The climax of the movie apparently involves Tucker “dashing naked through a hotel lobby with a case of explosive diarrhea from a can of beer laced with a laxative by a vengeful woman.” Um… hilarious?

Okay, the New York Times writing about explosive diarrhea is kind of funny.

Maybe, as those reviews indicate, the movie will finally convince people that Max doesn’t actually have much to offer. I’ll understand if this thing makes a ton of money, but if its box office returns are mediocre, I might get a small twinge of satisfaction. Then again, maybe I should just ignore all news relating to Tucker Max and spend my time watching things that are actually funny—like The Office, 30 Rock, and America’s Next Top Model—instead.

Wait, Top Model isn’t supposed to be funny?

Welcome to the world, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery!

Aubrey O’Day’s giving a little Peepshow.

Zac Efron’s face is traumatizing.

A guide for hiring women…from 1943.

Is that Rihanna? Are those pants? What is going on?

Confessions from a Tucker Max one night stand.

It’s the end of an era for Billy Ray.