Got a question? Get an answer! Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which runs every other Tuesday!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I go to school out of state about an 8 hour drive from home. What should I do about a long term relationship? Should I have one at my home state or my school state? And how do I keep up with either one when I’m in the other state?

Long Distance Lover

Dear Long Distance Lover,

Really, really good question.

I guess the only answer I can honestly give you (and it’s annoying, I know) is that you should take love where you find it.

It is this girl’s opinion that love is not something you can force. If you meet a guy at school who you like but there’s someone you love at home–well, how can you give up love for like? The same is true in reverse: If there’s a guy you like at home but a guy you love at school, you should go for the love. Read More »

Tiene una pregunta para Tuffita? Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which runs every other Tuesday! She’s bi-weekly (wink, wink.)

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My brother Jeremy & I were bedwetters into our late teens. Jeremy until he was 17 & i until i was 18. Jeremy is 2 years younger than me. Our problem is that we wet (soak) the bed when we drink a little too much alcohol, beer in particular. I have wet in my pants on 2 or 3 occasions on the way home from the pub in addition to wetting the bed on those nights. Have you had any e-mails on this problem, or is there anyone out there that has the same problem that may have a solution to this problem? We do have our own apartment at school so we can have rubber sheets on the bed without anyone finding out about us wetting.

Dear Bedwetter,

Oh, honey. Oh. Honey.

Well, first of all, according to the Mayo Clinic, wetting the bed as an adult ain’t great. It’s called “secondary enuresis” and it could mean a whole slew of other possible problems. For inst, it could be diabetes, or bladder cancer, or a neurological problem, or any other number of big baddies.

In other words, get thee (and the Jerster) to a doctor!!! Immediately!!! Read More »

Wanna ask the Tuffster a question, any question? Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her bi-weekly column, every other Tuesday!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a college sophomore and, until recently, I was planning to save myself for marriage. But I just recently I started dating the guy of my dreams and I think I’m ready to have sex with him. My question is what are some books where can I read about how to have sex? Not like kinky weird sex, just doing it for the first time. Help!

Thanks!!!!!!!

Lindsay

Dear Lindsay,

Girl, before I get around to actually dis-pen-sing this advice to you, first I wanna say two things:

(1) Make sure you really want to lose it to this guy before you do it. Tuffy ain’t no abstinence advisor–I believe that having sex is a VERY healthy and important part of having an adult relationship–but if this was an important thing to you, make sure you’re not just caving into pressure. That said, if you do decide to go through with it, good for you! Sex is fanf*ckingtastic! BUT

(2) Be safe! Always use a condom. You got that, honey? Every. Single. Time. And you might want to look into the pill, too (in ADDITION to the condom), but that’s between you and your ob/gyn.

Now onto the actual advice: Read More »

Got a questionie for Tuffy? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and ask her ANYTHING!!! Flippin’ column runs every other Tuesday, so get your questions in now, ladies!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a confession: I’m guilty of being a serial cheater.

The zenith of my misbehaving ways was probably when I was the girlfriend of around four guys at once from four differents countries, and I saw them all pretty much every week. And that was when I was very young (14).

I’m a bit older know, so I should know better, right? The thing is, I don’t really feel like cheating’s wrong, though I know whomever I’m seeing probably does. It just doesn’t bring me shame at all, mainly because I just argue that physical stuff is one thing and love is another.

Maybe it’s connected to the fact that I have a very hard time summoning actual emotion for the person(s) I am with, but I’m good at getting involved with guys (and girls) quickly. I give people that wild, bohemian, crazy lovin’ everybody needs to experience once before they die, and that’s me. That’s the free spirited affection and adventure I provide them with. I see it a little bit as an exciting game – something that’s just fun for me because I honestly believe that I am undesirable, so it’s always a pleasant surprise to have someone worship me. But then, when I let them get me, it’s not fun anymore and I have no emotion for them. I never did. I just make myself believe it, maybe to not let them down. Whatever; I still drive em for a while, then let them go.

Do I need help? How will I learn that cheating is wrong? Should I learn that cheating is wrong?

Love and car-sized cupcakes from Indienmark Read More »

Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at tuffy@collegecandy.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a question that I’ve been trying to solve for months but it just baffles me. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years; he’s really a great guy, but sometimes I just don’t understand him! Like a year and a half ago, we were talking about things we’d like to try in the bedroom. I’m usually the one who is more adventurous so I was trying to encourage HIM to come up with an idea and asked: “Is there anything you’ve really wanted to try but haven’t mentioned because you’re too afraid?” Big mistake.

So, apparently, like every other guy these days it seems, he wants a threesome. However, UNLIKE every other guy… he wants it to be MFM. I was shocked! I mean, what guy actually WANTS that?!? I asked him why on Earth he would want that and he seems to have this idea (I’m sure it came from a porn somewhere, LOL) that it would be amazing for me and he wants to see me pleased. But I don’t want to do it and I’ve told him. I think it’s gross and creepy. But he still seems to think that this would make our otherwise pretty routine sex life (that’s a complaint for another day though) more exciting.

The only problem I see with that story, if he’s so concerned with seeing me pleased, why doesn’t it show in our sex lives? He LOVES being at the receiving end of foreplay, but is rarely on the giving end. He doesn’t like to try new positions and when he finds something that I like, he’ll just do it over and over again until it’s really not that great anymore. I really think that he is self conscious (he still hates being naked around me if we’re not having sex) and afraid that if he tries something new I won’t like it. It’s just frustrating… the only way to get better is PRACTICE! Read More »

Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at tuffy@collegecandy.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is so random, but my friend was going on and on about this sex position she and her boyfriend tried called “the lotus.” But I looked it up and it looks like it’s a Yoga thing? What’s she talking about? I don’t want to ask and look stupid…

Thanks, Tuf!

Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Oh, Meliss. Can I call you that? Meliss?

Anyway, honey, very good question. There is a yoga position called the lotus, but there’s a totally separate lotus sex position too. The Lotus (sex) position is actually a variation of a less romantic sounding position called “pounding on the spot” (classy, eh?) and it’s an excellent way to enhance your (SAFE!!) sex life. Read More »

Wanna ask your friend Tuffs a question? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com for answers to anything and everything. …punch and pie.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I recently started dating a boy who is awesome. Compared to my total control freak ex boyfriend who never wanted me to go out and have fun, this new guy is awesome. He’s totally cute and fun to be around, and he’s always up for a good time. Whenever we’re out or just hanging out, his attention is totally on me, he introduces me to everyone, and I’m having a blast.

The thing is, his friends are total pigs. They cheat on their girlfriends almost every nght (I see them walk in and out with random girls…sometimes more than one a night…eww). I know guys are easily influenced by their friends, so I’m wondering if he has the same “whatever” attitude about being with more than one girl. When we’re together it doesn’t seem like that, but lord only knows boys change when they’re around their guy friends. Ugh, I just don’t want to be dragged along thinking I’m the only one with my boy. What do you think?

Love,

Cait Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv a question? Shoot her an email at tuffy@collegecandy.com and get an answer. Tuffy Luv is posted every other Tuesday. So emmmmaiiiiillllll!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m dating this guy who is really great in (almost) every way. He’s cute, my friends all like him, and he’s a lot of fun to hang out with.

The only thing is, we’ve been going out for almost six months now and he’s never gone down on me. I’ve gone down on him at least ten times. I asked him what the deal is and he said he “doesn’t like the smell,” not of me, but of all girls.

What do you think?

Deprived Of Oral

Dear Deprived,

I think the boy better suck it up and be a man, that’s what I think. Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv?! Email her questions! Millions and millions of questions! Shoot your email to tuffy@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I tend to be quick to trust and I need to work on that!

Recently it has come to my attention that one of, to my knowledge, BEST friends was actually talking behind my back to a couple other close friends. I only found this out recently after our friendship had disintegrated due to her never responding to my phone calls and emails after I had moved. I felt so crappy after she stopped responding to me. People around me were shocked because we were tied at the hip and everyone thought we were best friends (yay at least i’m not going crazy!)

Apparently though she found me annoying and couldn’t wait until I moved away so that she could stop hanging out with me.

WOW how high school can you get?! If you didn’t want to hang out with me why didn’t you just say so BEFORE I moved instead of making me look like a JACKASS thinking we were best friends!

Whew. Ok. Sorry. I’m back from my rant. So, anyway, long story short something similar happened to me before with another friend as well (she manipulated me for her own twisted amusement and then dumped me when she was done) and I have a bad feeling it is also happening currently with some close friends I met when I moved (I have a feeling that they are only keeping me around to use me for something but I don’t know what that “something” is yet).

Do you have any tips for me on how to stop being so trusting of other people? Read More »

Got something to ask Tuffy Luv? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and hold onto your hat. Because it’s windy out here.

PS Tuffy’s column will now appear every other Tuesday! So write in lots!!!

Dearest Tuffy Luv,

I have been dating a gentleman, “Bob”, for well over a year now. I left my boyfriend of five years to be with Bob. In the past few months, Bob has lied on several occasions about where he is, who he’s with, etc. He deletes phone calls and text messages because he’s scared I might “get upset over nothing”. I’m leaving for college in a week and will be two hours away. This past week, I found out he kissed one of his former student athletes (he was a swim coach). He begged me to take him back and I caved. This is the second time he’s cheated on me but I can’t seem to hold him accountable. How do I just make myself cut the ties when he makes me happy outside the lies?

Sincerely,

A woman scorned

Dear Woman Scorned,

I think you just blew my mind.

Seriously. Do you honestly believe him that he’s just scared you’ll, what was the term he used, “get upset over nothing?” My guess is, you don’t. Because otherwise you wouldn’t have written in. Read More »