Even though my days of filling out college applications are long gone, I can still remember the frustration of trying to set myself apart from my classmates. AP classes. National Honor Society. Varsity Soccer. Spanish Club. The list goes on.

The trouble is, nowadays, colleges across the country receive thousands of applications from students with exceptional grades, tons of extra-curriculars, volunteer work, and a stellar essay (even if it’s BS).

So how does one prove themselves more worthy than their peers?
Tufts University thinks that YouTube is the way to go.

Ever since Legally Blonde came out, I’ve always thought a college application video was a great idea! And apparently, so do a lot of other people. So far this reading season, Tufts has received about 1,000 1-minute long vids showcasing everything from weird talents to remote-control elephants to DJing at a rave (yes, really).

While videos may not be the best way for a high school senior to choose their dream school (may I suggest a campus tour?), they just might be the new best way for colleges to choose their incoming student body! Wouldn’t you want your school to see who you REALLY are, rather than just a list of your (totally exaggerated) accomplishments typed out in size 12 Times New Roman? After all, we’re so much more than that! Our friends and family love us for our quirks, why shouldn’t the Dean of Admissions?

Even though I didn’t have the chance to do this back in ’07, I think it would be cool if other schools followed in Tufts’ footsteps and gave students another way to set themselves apart. After all, college admissions is one of the most important times in a young person’s life – if they’re gonna do it, they should be able to do it right.

What do you guys think?

But All Hallow’s Eve isn’t just about costumes and candy—there’s been a lot of seriously scary stuff happening this week. And yes, technically it was the last week of September and only the first few days of October… but just go with my metaphor. Among the frightening things we’ve written about in the past seven days:

- Spencer and Heidi are buying a house together, probably so that they’ll have a place to raise a litter of devil-spawn with flesh-colored beards and fake boobs.

- Speaking of fake boobs, girls from “Rock of Love Bus” make $1,500 just for showing up at parties.

- The length of the school year might get extended. I’m shuddering just thinking about it.

- In my three-plus years of college, I’ve probably had every single one of these awful professors.

- The scary smart kids at Caltech and MIT, who might accidentally kill us all with a wacky prank gone wrong…

- … unless they all get Type Geek Diabetes first.

- Tufts outlawing having sex while your roommate’s in your room, which isn’t scary in itself but will lead to some seriously horrifying conversations between Tufts students and their parents.

- Guys who do nothing but eat chicken nuggets while watching football, playing poker, and quoting “Old School.”

- Going through the nail-biting experience of wondering if he, like, likes you likes you.

- Everything about this post, which makes me want to vomit in terror.

- And most frightening of all: you only have three more days to win a laptop from CC!

But dorm-room sex is just as challenging for the non-practicing roommate. Allow me to paint you a word mural:

You’re trekking home to your room after an excruciating night in the library. Your bed is calling your name from across campus, and it’s taking all of your energy just to make it back. Just as you are opening the door and can practically feel your blanket’s sweet embrace wrapped around your body, the familiar moans and grunts of your roommate and her ape-like boyfriend ring like fire alarms in your ears. Sexiled again.

You have two choices: Make your presence known and hope they cease and desist or opt for headphones and heavy metal. Or you can face your fate and spend the night tossing and turning on the cardboard-like couch in the lounge.

Well, if you’re a student at Tufts University, the weight of this hefty decision has been taken off your shoulders once and for all. Under a new ResLife policy, students are not allowed to engage in sexual activity while their roommates are in the room.

Personally, I think that Tufts is sticking its nose in business that should be discussed and decided between roommates themselves. Instituting a sex policy that is virtually un-enforceable seems a bit extreme. And unless the horny couple actually wants an audience to cheer them on, I think they would wait for privacy anyway, with or without the existence of a formal policy mandating it.

Common courtesy dictates that no roommate should have to be a witness to lovemaking that is not their own (unless, of course, they’re into that sort of thing), but I feel sorry for the freshman male who gets paired with a hermit roommate that never leaves the solitude of their room.  Soon dorm-room sex will be replaced with bumping uglies in the bushes and humping on top of the dining hall.

So Tufts, what is more disturbing? Public displays of fornication or a slight rocking from the top bunk? Instituting this sex-policy seems like a slippery slope. Next they’ll be outlawing co-ed sleepovers and issuing chastity belts. Stay out of my sex life, ResLife, and I’ll stay out of yours.

Yes, colleges! Full of adults of legal age for purchasing tobacco.

Why? Well, to protect your health, the city claims. And to keep little kids from puffing down the cancer sticks. Anti-smoking advocates think this new ruling is just gravy: “Boston has taken another step that puts it in the forefront in the United States in protecting people against secondhand smoke.”

Personally, I think the ruling seems to be a little whack.

First of all, not selling cigarettes to 21-year-old college students will not prevent minors from getting their hands on them. And if second-hand-smoke is the issue here, how can the city stop the sale of all tobacco products? Sure, dipping isn’t sexy, but it also doesn’t harm me (unless you consider how visually offensive it is).

The officials in charge of this new ruling claim that it is their responsibility to keep the students safe and that, “the sale of tobacco products is also incompatible with the mission of educational institutions which educate the younger population about social, environmental and health risks and harms.”

I think the whole thing is ridiculous. The United States is a free country, people of Boston. If college students (who happen to be adults!) want to buy some Marlboro Lights on their way to a grafitti party, it is not up to you to stop them. Smoking may be harmful, but it is a personal decision, not one the government gets to make.

What do you think? Is Boston on the right track?

Life as Paris Hilton’s new BFF looks a lot like being mine. Except replace Belvedere vodka with Popov.

You can have your very own Anne Hathaway for only $12,000!

Best online shopping of 2008.

Britney pisses off PETA.

Tuft students get ready for their annual Naked Quad Run.

Barack Obama is no Keanu Reeves.

Reconnect with your body.

Our latest time wasting addiction.

D.C. dorms becoming major money maker.

Bring on the sparkles this holiday season.

None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. They didn’t cut their $500 million budget to, say, $250 million. They exed the loans altogether.

MEFA secures loans for 40,000 students who live in Massachusetts, or who attend school there. Unfortunately, this year, the financing authority could not secure the money. Executive director Tom Graff blames “disruptions in capital markets.” So, just like that, 40,000 students are sh*t out of luck.

MEFA is the first to make headlines, but any financing authority could also be treading on thin ice. Which means that students across the country could be forced to drop out of college, or sell their souls to finance a degree that can cost upwards of FORTY GRAND per year at top-notch schools like Carnegie Mellon, Tufts, NYU, and Notre Dame.

When I was in college, I played my cards right, and managed to get through my degree with almost no debt, and decided to pursue a Master’s, rather than join the work force right away. With our declining economy, I am currently paying dearly for that decision. Sure, I have a MA, but with hundreds of thousands of workers being laid off across the country, I don’t have the experience to compete. I’ve been applying for job after job, to no avail. Even the number of job openings in dwindling, because companies are being forced to cut corners left and right.

So, MEFA has set up a hotline for students to call, but I’m not sure how much good that can do. It’s a scary time to be a college student in America. Bernie Pekala, director of student financial strategies at Boston College, spoke out about the current MEFA crisis: “[Students and families] have less obvious choices right now. They’re going to have to look at circumstances and try to come up with alternative financing options if they have utilized this as their main option or only option in the past.”

Many students are going to have to put their education on hold. Many others will complete their plans of study, and come out with a deep debt and fewer job opportunities available. I’d like to know if anyone out there is being effected by crises such as lack of financial aid, student loans, or the job market. Of course, there will be a lot of changes for the country soon (e.g. the upcoming election). Hopefully, things will take a turn for the better…asap.

The perfect poolside addition to a summer afternoon

Coupon Clipping: not just for groceries anymore.

You mean it does more than make me lose my inhibitions, dinner and dignity?

If Gossip Girl gets canceled my life will be over.

Two more reasons to love Bret and Jemaine.

Do you think Lassie wore condoms?

Just grin and bear it, Tony.  …Or Poppa Joe will find a way to hunt you down.

5 Superhero movie scenes NOT coming to a theater near you.

Bootleg moonshine, courtesy of the Tufts class of 2012 (way to prioritize, guys!)

It was boring and hard, which meant that no matter what I tried, I constantly fell asleep next to my computer and woke up completely lost.

If only I could have taken one of these classes compiled by Mental Floss Magazine, I’m sure my GPA would have looked much better. Instead of dozing off to the lulling sound of a professor droning on about ratios, I could have been studying muppets and watching Sesame Street.

All of these, at one time, actually existed.

The Horror Film in Context – Bowdoin – Watch people get their heads smashed in and then talk about why society likes to watch people get their heads smashed in.

Simpsons and Philosophy – Cal-Berkeley – How much does this popular show reflect society? Apparently enough to warrant a semester’s worth of lectures.

Maple Syrup-The Real Thing – Alfred – Haven’t you always wanted to know the entire history of syrup?

The Science of Harry Potter – Frostburg State – Is it possible to make broomsticks fly? Let’s discuss.

Oprah Winfrey-The Tycon – U. of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign – Race, Success, Money…and dealing with crazy movie stars jumping on your couch.

Far Side Entomology – Oregon State – Comic strips and insects. Sure, why not?

History of Electronic Dance Music – UCLA – Ace of Base never sounded so smart.

The Future is Lost: TV Series as Cultural Phenomenon – Tufts – Smart kids + mind-numbingly confusing show that went nowhere = deeper meanings that never existed.

Muppet Magic: Jim Henson’s Art – UC-Santa Cruz – How have muppets change your life, Little Jimmy?

Getting Dressed – Princeton – If you are what you wear, this class is probably full of polos and boat shoes.

Biblical Model for Home and Family –Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary – Gosh, I’ve always wanted to know how to “submit graciously” to my future husband!