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You know that odd period of time Friday night when you’re done with class, too tired to workout but not quite ready to go out and nothing, I mean NOTHING is on TV? Unless you want to watch the same episode of Say Yes to the Dress for, like, the 12th time all the while thinking (just like you did the first time you saw this very episode), “Why am I watching this crap? There goes an hour and a little bit of dignity that I will never get back.”

Well, guess what? That’s all about to change. There’s a new reality show in town, peeps, and this time it’s actually good. I’m not talking so-bad-it’s-oh-so-good like Jersey Shore and all it’s fist pumping glory (as thankful as I am that I’ve learned how to beat the beat); I’m talking eye-opening, thought provoking, I-can’t-believe-this-is-the-country-we-live-in good, and it’s starting this Friday.

Executive produced by none other than the always perfectly coiffed Ryan Seacrest (seriously does the man EVER sleep?), Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution is a show we all need to watch. Taking place in Huntington, West Virginia – ranked as the fattest city in our nation – Famous chef, Jamie Oliver settles in and spends months trying to change the way America’s children are fed in school.

OK, so it doesn’t sound all that exciting, but stay with me.

After seeing the sneak preview on Sunday, I was enraged at the CRAP we are feeding kids (think pizza and chocolate milk at 7am), the red tape around trying to change the system and how FAT they are. I’m talking about fat as in the fat kid you refer to when you make the joke “like a fat kid loves cake,” except this time it’s like 12 cakes, a giant scoop of ice-cream and a corndog. (Yes, apparently, people eat those!) And they’re being taught to eat like this.

By their schools.
Yup.

Don’t think a show about elementary school lunches affects you? Think again. Have you looked inside your college dorm’s caf lately? I’m pretty sure the only “healthy” thing in that place is the fro-yo machine. And, btdubs, I’m pretty sure the health quotient goes out the window when it’s 1/4 yogurt and 3/4 Oreos and sprinkles (i.e. the freshman year diet of a certain someone who happens to be writing this article). The truth is, while Jamie Oliver is uncovering the unhealthy foods in our middle schools, the problem is everywhere, and we all have to be on board if we want to see changes.

If anything, it’s worth watching to see Jamie’s passion for the project – it’s incredibly inspiring. And by that I mean it’s worth watching because who knew a man telling people they are large and in charge could be so damn sexy? That man can cook me up some steamed veggies any time.

Either way, ‘Food Revolution’ is one show to be in The Know about. Quality.

Bonus points: If you’re trying to curb your late night eating habit this show couldn’t air at a better time! Friday right before you hit the bars – it’s like having your mom standing over you watching you eat pizza and french fries at 2am chanting, “First stop- your thighs!”

The official two hour series premiere event is this Friday at 8/7c on ABC, with episode two airing at 9/8c.

How could a day of TV lead to pregnancy, you ask?
It can’t. I mean, I guess it could if someone else was under that blanket with me…and we were watching porn, but I was alone.

And I was watching TLC’s, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.

This show is not new, but it was my first time watching. And unfortunately for me, there were quite a few episodes on back to back. And I was too lazy/scared stiff to change the channel.

The premise of the show is simple (and pretty obvious from the title): real women who did not know they were pregnant have babies. Sometimes in toilets.

While the dramatizations are hilarious (seriously, where do they find these actors?), the actual events are not. Nor is the fact that there are enough women in the world dealing with this to turn it into an actual series. And did I mention that one woman pulled down her leggings to find a baby hanging out in there?

OMG it’s terrifying.

But much like the train wreck that was the 2 hour premier of Jersey Shore, I couldn’t look away. Hours passed and there I was, clutching my stomach, watching women have surprise babies. By the end of the day, I was crying, my stomach was hurting, and I was craving potato chips. Naturally, I convinced myself I was with child.

I barely slept that night, visions of shoving a baby into my teeny dorm room flooding my mind. When I finally gave up on sleep at 7am on Sunday morning, I ran to CVS. I grabbed the 3-pack of tests (one wass not enough seeing as many of these women took a test and it came back negative), a bag of chips (because my pregnant hormones wouldn’t rest without some salt) and a bottle of wine.

“Wait… baby can’t have wine,” I thought to myself. I put the bottle down, grabbed some natural fruit juice instead, ignored the judgey look from the cashier and ran home.

The good news is, assuming I did everything right, there are no buns in this oven. Or hands. Or feet.
The bad news is there is a giant bag of chips in there. And I have to come up with another way to explain the 10 pound weight gain these past 3 months. And I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to have sex again.

Thanks, TLC.

I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.

Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.

But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.

Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours?

Kiki – University of Missouri: I definitely change my outfit at least nine times a day, sucking it in and checking myself out in our full length mirror every time. The costume changes are prompted by library runs, laundry duty, gym visits, basically any activity outside my dorm room with the potential for human interaction

Lauren – University of Michigan: No one – besides the drunk people in the dark, crowded bar – needs to see me doin’ my thing with some cutie in the corner. I know it’s not pretty.

Thu – USC: Sitting on the couch with a spoon in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other… that’s now half empty.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I burp like none other

Ricki – University of Michigan: When I’m bored I try on outfits and stare at myself in the mirror even
if it’s a Wednesday afternoon and I have nowhere to go.

Liza M – Minnesota: The ridiculous amount of time I spend online…wasting time….when I should be studying. I’d be boring!

Carrie – Duke: Bringing my magazine (or, uh laptop) into the bathroom with me… (TMI?)

Erica – Kent State: Those times when I’m alone in my car for long distances… and trying to rap to some gangsta music (and failing miserably!).

Kim – University of Delaware: Analyzing texts from guys and asking for advice on how to respond. “Should I use ‘dot dot dot’ or does that sound too promiscuous. Ok, so just a question mark? And why did he say ‘you GUYS’ and not just ‘you’???”

John – UConn: When I’m alone, I swear at my own body. “Oh, gross, what is this? Phlegm? More phlegm? Are you f***ing kidding me? F*** you and f*** phlegm!”

Sara C – Fordham: I sample my sister’s makeup because she has way more than I do, but she’s very finicky about sharing. Sorry, sis.

K – GWU: I would never, ever want my getting ready/dancing sesh’s caught on camera – while I may feel like I am a Pussycat Doll, I am most certainly not.

Mechelle – Florida State: I will spend literally an hour straightening my hair. My boyfriend always makes fun of me. To make matters worse, I live in Florida and have to do it a couple times a day.

Jill – University of Wisconsin: Where do I start? Dancing around my apartment in just a bra & underwear; eating ice cream on my couch straight out of the carton – in just a bra & underwear; singing with my hairbrush – in just a bra & underwear. Any shot of me at ALL in just a bra & underwear.

Caitlin – University of Alabama: I wouldn’t want to be caught watching the-N shows i.e. Degrassi, The Best Years, etc.  Totally lame, and especially while eating out of the ice cream carton while crying because Sam and Rich should be together.  Yeah I wouldn’t want to show that.

Katie – Michigan State University: If someone caught me on camera while I was dancing like an idiot to crappy trance music in my pajamas and checking myself out in the mirror like I’m some sort of sexy (in between spoonfuls of peanut butter, of course) I would pretty much die.

Carly – Grinnell: I smash walnuts with my teeth rather than my food processor before putting them in recipes. Usually I am the only one eating the final product . . . usually.

Maddie – Tufts: My obsession with eating condiments plain (such as pesto, caesar dressing, and ketchup…)

Sarabeth – University of Texas: When I get bored, I waggle my butt while laying on my bed….just because.

Kari – FSU: Definitely not all the goofy voices/faces/songs that I make or sing when I’m alone with my boyfriend.

Kelly – Simmons University: When I get frustrated, I tend to yell at inanimate objects.

Cristina – Michigan State: I would definitely not want cameras catching me constantly watching makeup tutorials on YouTube.  It’s not anything creepy or embarrassing, but I’m subscribed to about 30 people who literally talk about just makeup.  I need a few superficial moments daily.

Tonight was a pretty stellar night. First, I worked out next to a total hottie on the elliptical (but didn’t muster up the courage in my sweaty ‘beater to say anything), then I came home and watched an AMAZING episode of Gossip Girl while eating an ice cream sandwich, and then Spencer and Heidi went to therapy.

When I die, I hope heaven is this good.

A lot of little things happened on tonight’s episode of The Hills. There was the budding romance between Audrina and Brody, or, more likely, MTV trying to make it seem like some big thing that will ultimately end with nothing ever happening. There was Stephanie being a giant moron at People’s Revolution where we learn she can’t answer phones and she doodles when people yell at her (probably because she can’t turn to coke and heroin anymore).

But those were only an appetizer to the delicious drama that was served up next.

Like Jusin Bobby making a return to the scene with a new shorter ‘do and bushier beard. What’s not new: his obsession with ugly hats. Oh and his deep life lessons: “Do you know how quick our life is here on earth?”
I’m not really sure how that made any sense in the context of the “you don’t treat me well” conversation with Audrina, but I guess I never expect that dirtball to make any sense. Audrina, on the other hand, falls right into dirty-finger-nailed grasp and is immediately taken with him again.

I just don’t get it. Besides the fact that this kid is awful and disgusting and dirty, Audrina literally goes from “It would never work” chat with Sleazy T to “I’m crazy in love with you” with JB. Seriously, all she did was turn her head. I know the girl isn’t the brighest bulb, but is it possible that turning her head shook her brain clean like an Etch-a-Sketch? One minute she’s all about being single, then – shake, shake, shake – she just wants Justin back.

Maybe those two just need a little extra nudge. No, not from Brody; from Speidi’s couples therapist!

Not that I understand why a couple of 25-year-olds really need a therapist. I always thought that couple therapy was for old married couples that just don’t have that spark anymore, not for people still making money off of a teen drama on MTV. At this point in our lives, if your relationship isn’t working, you don’t get a therapist, you just break up, get drunk and hook up with other people, then realize how much you miss the other person and go back.

And even if that wouldn’t work for Speidi, it’s not like this woman could. She’s a therapist, not a de-douch-bagger. There is nothing on this planet that will change Spencer – not even a Beverly Hills therapist.

We’ll just have to wait and see how that all turns out.
Who knows? Maybe the entire crew will be sitting on that couch next week after the girls crash the Hawaii surf party. That would just be icing on my (fat-free) Hills cake.

This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. We’ve had some wonderful times, you and I—all those steamy scenes in the elevator at Seattle Grace come to mind. However (and I say this with a heavy heart), it is past time to part ways. I simply cannot devote an entire hour out of my week to you anymore. At one time, I happily planned my Thursday evening around seeing you, but now? I hardly recognize you. You have changed in the last two years, and while I first stayed out of loyalty, that is no longer reason enough.

It’s not me, it’s you. I mean that in the nicest way possible…you’re really not my type anymore. I’m sure there are some who would find Izzie and Denny having passionate ghost-sex thrilling, but it’s just not for me. In the words of McDreamy, there should be more kissing. And between actual, live humans.

There used to be excitement. Addison Shepherd’s arrival at the hospital had me reeling. I nearly fell off the couch when Meredith put her hand in the body cavity with the bomb. Izzie’s romance with her heart patient (while he was still living, anyway) made me long for my very own Denny. When he died I cried in a manner unseen since Titanic. You used to incite a windstorm of emotions. I never knew what I was feeling. Did I want MerDer to work? Was Burke the right man for Cristina? And what about Finn?

Then, the third year of our relationship began. The McNaming went out of control. Meredith drowned and saw dead people (although at least she wasn’t having sex with them). She and McDreamy couldn’t make it work despite the fact that they were actually working before Addison showed up. Somehow a lot of issues showed up in the year she was separated from Yummy McButterpants. And George and Callie getting married? Burke leaving Cristina at the altar? The hits just kept coming. I thought the final straw might have been Izzie and George having sex, but I kept watching, hoping for redemption. And for the image of those two smooching to be replaced by something else. Anything else.

Really, Grey’s? Really? You were once known for being an upstart, an amazing show that came out of nowhere and shocked us with witty dialogue and the drama of a surgical unit. There were train derailments and car accidents. Events that while unlikely, were believable and relatable. And now, we have the interns performing an illegal appendectomy and Cristina being impaled by an icicle. Again. Really??

At the beginning of this year together, I had hope. The chief gave me hope. And then you cruelly crushed that hope. What happened to taking initiative? No more laurel-resting? It was supposed to stop and it most certainly hasn’t. Meredith is just downright whiney now, Izzie is a mess, Karev is no longer the loveable bad boy. Quite frankly, the only redeeming storyline is the meeting of Little Sloane and Little Grey. But it’s not enough.

So with a heavy heart, I write to you and say it is time to separate. I will have my Thursday nights free and you will have your ghost-sex and whiney lead.

With regrets,

Meregan

JC Penney is gettin’ cute!

Is Beyonce trying out for Divas on Ice?

Romance makes us barf (sometimes).

Justin Timberlake: Vote in a Box

7 fashion rules every lady should break.

Funny woman, Amy Sedaris, is getting her own show!

Salma Hayek’s baby will never go hungry.

Election rap battle.

Please God, let this end with Spencer’s head in that bucket.

Miley Cyrus finished her autobiography. Because 15 years takes so long to cover.

Don’t forget to watch the final presidential debate tonight!

Shanna Moakler reacts to Travis Barker’s plane crash.

The awkwardness of the Emmys in 2 minutes.

Want Britney’s hand-me-downs? You can buy em!

Against all odds, 90210 is picked up for a full season.

Whitney Port is getting her own show.

Watch out NYC – here comes LiLo!

It’s twins for porn star, Jenna Jameson.

Twitter for the Christian folk.

There is no way Britney really looks like this.

Heidi’s many Emmy outfits. Which was your fav?

The 10 friends you need to have.

If you happened to catch the new 90210 last week, I’m assuming you’re in agreement with me that the show itself was rather hard to watch. Good thing there were some cute outfits to add something worth looking at.

Obviously, since most of us don’t live in one of the wealthiest zip codes in the country, we can’t afford to wear designer duds on a daily basis, but achieving the look of the new class of West Beverly Hills High doesn’t have to cost you your firstborn. With a trip to your local Target, Express or Forever 21 (my personal faves for inexpensive fashion) or a few mouse clicks, you can pull together a great 90210-inspired ensemble.

As the weather begins to cool, but before it gets too chilly, rockin’ out a cute pair of denim shorts, a corset top and a blazer is an adorable look that Naomi showed off… every day…for the entire episode. I found an entire outfit like this at Forever 21 for a grand total of $70. (Click on the images to shop!)

Like any show about rich high school kids, there were plenty of parties and, thus, party dresses. Good thing cheap dresses are easy to find! This hot satin number (below) is only $23 at Forever 21 and comes in a vast array of colors. There is also this Forever 21 frock for under $30, or a basic dress that could be dressed up really well with some fun accessories from Target.

Fun and flirty tops were the other central piece in the show, and again, finding these for a reasonable price (oftentimes under $25!) is an easy task. I loved this top (on sale for $19.99), as well as this one from Express. The shirt below, from Forever 21 (as usual), pairs well with a pair of skinny jeans for a chic and luxe look.

And for Annie’s casual look (which is supposed to be more “Midwest”), Forever 21 and Target are definitely the way to go. Here are a couple of pieces similar to her tanks and hoodies. The shirt below, from Target, is a cute alternative to a boring, everyday tank.

As is always the case, going to discount stores like Filene’s Basement, Loehmann’s, Nordstrom Rack, etc. is a fantastic way to find great steals. And if you want a few designer pieces thrown in with your cheaper pieces to create a perfectly balanced look, these stores are definitely the way to go.

No matter what, as the oh-so-wise Tim Gunn emphasizes, fashion isn’t about cost or labels; it’s about finding pieces that flatter your body and allowing your personal style to shine through. Yes, even if you’re following the trends of a new TV show.

Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Monica Lewinski must be green with envy. Sure, she got a book deal, but she could have found “true love” in front of millions of strangers, and the producers would probably have thrown in a mansion as well!

If the dating show falls through, I’d like to pitch some backup ideas to Dupre’s new producers:

1. Dupre’s Deal or No Deal- Combination dating-slash-game show: Dupre’s bachelors be able to buy some sex after their “one-on-one” dates. But what about after elimination?

2. Hooker and the Geek- 10 prostitutes and 10 geeks are paired up to learn from each other. The geeks teach the girls financial skills and politics (so they can find themselves their own Spitzer prototype), and, well, you can guess how the ladies reciprocate.

3. What Not to Wear: Escort Edition- I think the name says it all.

4. Real World: The Brothel- This is the true story of seven pimps and prostitutes picked to live in a house…

5. Are You Smarter than a Harlot?- Jeff Foxworthy would host this one for free!

6. The Slutty-real Life- Okay, so my Surreal Life pun needs work. But they can invite back reality skanks Trishelle Cannatella and Adrianne Curry, and let the STD’s begin!

Shows that probably won’t end up in TV Guide: Made: I Want to Have Sex for Money; So You Think You Can Screw; Celebrity F*** Club.

If programming catapults Ashley Dupre to the top of the celebutante ladder, why stop there? Throw in a record deal! If Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montag can cut an album, it might be a charttopping success! They can also add a movie deal, creating a modernized version of Pretty Woman… but in the end, instead of Richard Gere showing up with a limo, a money-hungry producer shows up with a TV contract.

Seriously, though, where are we going to go when this novelty wears off? How dirty is reality television going to get before draw the line? How many talentless nymphomaniacs are going to get rich while we struggle to pay off our student loans? I, personally, am sick of seeing these women re-objectify the gender every week and make a bad name for sexually liberated women who don’t need the cameras rolling 24/7. I prefer my walks of shame to go unrecorded, thank you very much.