When I broke up with my last boyfriend I was ecstatic to have my personal time back. It had been a long time since I’d had my own routine and I couldn’t wait to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I had grand plans of daily visits to the gym, cooking my weird healthy meals and eating them on the couch while watching marathons of Say Yes To The Dress.

I gained ten pounds during that relationship and while he didn’t care – he loved seeing me in the buff despite the extra junk in my trunk – I was ready to take back the control of my life, shed the extra weight, and hit the single scene with my svelte new frame.

Only the reality was so, so different.

Not only is the single scene rather sad and over-saturated with douche bags, but being single is actually making me fatter!

There is something to be said about having someone around, and not just for the comfort and companionship that comes with a boyfriend. Passing the time with someone else keeps your mind occupied so you’re talking and cuddling and giggling instead of mentally surveying what’s in your fridge. And, not that I care about eating in front of a boy (trust me – I ate a burger and fries in front of some models once), but having anyone around forces me to check myself before I start grazing through the cupboards and housing anything I can get my hands on. Now that I’m alone I’m to my own devices, and apparently those devices involve dipping everything into peanut butter, whether I’m hungry or not.

And forget the gym. Since I don’t have anyone to look good for, I often give in to that fat little devil sitting on my shoulder and trade in Spinning time for catching-up-on-my-DVR time. I keep telling myself I’ll go tomorrow; I have so much free time, why wouldn’t I go? But then I don’t go. I put on sweats, think of things to melt cheese on and retire to the couch for the rest of the night. Read More »

That shapeless "dress" is what you get for lying to Dan!

I think we can all agree that it’s not nearly as fun watching Vanessa Abrams be a bitch as it is watching Blair Waldorf.  Mostly because Blair doesn’t normally get bogged down by remorse…at least not right away.

In an episode all about playing games, some people just didn’t know when to stop.  Take Vanessa being even more of a home-wrecker than usual.  As I watched her almost mess up the blossoming love between Dan and Olivia, all I could think about was how the dress that the wardrobe people put her in at the end of the episode was obviously punishment for her being selfish.  And my next thought: when did giving a speech at a Parents’ Weekend dinner become so damn important?

But as Vanessa, Blair, (and Olivia, though unbeknownst to her) battled it out for the right to stand atop the flowery podium at Parents’ Weekend, we saw too many claws come out. Perfectly manicured claws, mind you, but sharp claws nonetheless. Yeah, Vanessa can get off the hook quickly for what she almost did to Dan and Olivia – those Humphrey’s are incredibly forgiving people – but I can’t say the same for Blair and Chuck. Make him kiss a guy (which, by the way, was incredibly hot)? Fine. But lie to him and manipulate him to get what you want?

No one manipulates Chuck Bass. Not even Blair.

And the same goes for Serena, which Nate Archibald may find out the hard way. Before I get into this little Rounders-meets-Gossip-Girl storyline, I’d like to take a moment to welcome Nate back to the show. For the past 5 episodes he’s taken a backseat with Bree Buckley and we haven’t seen much of his cuteness. I know he wasn’t pregenant/post pregnant like Lily Bass, so I wonder what was keeping him from the screen? Meh, it doesn’t matter; he’s back….and falling in line with the family once again. Read More »

With the recession guilting me into sacrificing unnecessary luxuries (oh, multiple, daily Starbucks runs, how I miss you!), I’m wondering how others are handling their own sacrifices. Our daily indulgences have now become something to shake a finger at, but many industries are still thriving by playing into our addictions.

As humans, we have inner demons that can only be quieted by indulging in our uncontrollable desires. Take the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. Depending on your beliefs or interpretations, you may agree that we have a natural inclination towards these temptations. For example, I totally lust after my boyfriend’s six pack, I greedily horde my money, I’m a glutton for any sort of frozen yogurt, and I envy Megan Fox’s…everything.

Being the crafty marketing team they are, America’s consumer industries are exploiting our desires to indulge in these Seven Deadly Sins (and are getting filthy rich because of it!). Hey, maybe if we all sinned a bit more, we could nix this recession like Cain did Abel! Ready to be a bad girl? Hit up these industries to silence your inner, money spending demon:

Lust – While the recession has taken away many things, at least it’s bringing sexy back! Erotic industries, such as sex toy company Babeland, have seen a 25% increase in sales. Makes sense: The less hours you’re given at your job, the more quality time you have to spend with your brand new Mini Pink Leopard Vibe! The best part? Babeland is always having sales to keep you “cumming” back for more. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Read More »

What will come of our favorite TV couple!?

After three entire months of reruns, and crappy MTV-I-need-a-girlfriend-and-a-life reality shows, I am more than ready for the new fall lineup, which starts this week!

In addition to our old favorites whose finales left us on the edge of our couches with mouths open and ice cream dripping on our PJs, there are a slew of new shows that are totally worth tuning into this fall.

We know it’s hard to get back into your nightly TV schedules, so we complied a guide for the must-see fall TV! Read More »

OMFG.

Project Runway is finally coming back tomorrow night. They’ve kept us waiting for-freaking-ever and now it’s all coming back in a MAJOR way.

…with a few slight changes.

The show will still have supermodel Heidi Klum, fashion designer Michael Kors, and Elle fashion director Nina Garcia returning as judges, as well as the additional guest judge each episode. But after five seasons in pedestrian-friendly New York, the hit reality competition for aspiring fashion designers has moved to both a new city, car-jammed Los Angeles at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, and a new network, Lifetime. And now that the lawsuits between the Weinstein Company, NBC Universal (owner of Bravo), and Lifetime are thankfully over, we can enjoy our fashion porn in peace once again.

Like most, I was a little peeved when PR left Bravo, but the new star-studded L.A. setting has provided some amazing new opportunities: major guest judges such as Christina Aguilera, Eva Longoria Parker, Rebecca Romijn, and Lindsay Lohan and some fresh inspirations for new challenges. As Michael Kors has hinted, ”L.A. can be the most laid-back and the most glamorous. It’s the land of bikinis and gowns.” As such, this season the designers will take on challenges centered on the beach and the red carpet, and also create garments as a tribute to movies and Hollywood.

I am still not quite over the fact that I have to watch Lifetime (the same network my mom boasts as her fav), but I gotta say: I’m really excited to see what this new season has to offer. Read More »

Nominations for the 61st Emmy Awards were announced today and I’m excited.  Not only do I have a degree of expertise in this particular area (I watch a LOT of TV), but I find that the Emmy Awards are even more bitchy than the Oscars…and that pleases me.  Also, this particular awards show validates all my time spent on my couch (and youtube, hulu, etc.) being a lazy jerk and watching TV.  I can say I was “researching.”  Yeah.  Researching.

My “researching,” as it were, has lead me to spot a couple snubs and surprises in this year’s crop of nominations.  The first (and most important) surprise is the acting and series categories were expanded to hold more contenders.  This is awesome because shows (that I adore) that aren’t normally included now have the chance at major awards.  This is not awesome because now I will have a major identity crisis during the actual awards show.  For example, Family Guy has gotten a nomination for best comedy series.  That puts the show up against others like The Office, 30 Rock, Flight of the Conchords and more.  Well…crap.  I love all of those.  WTF am I supposed to do now??

The reality series category held more shockers.  As in, no Jon & Kate Plus 8?? No Real Housewives?  Does the world hold no meaning any more?! Those shows are some of the best on TV – how do those Emmy people not realize that? Sure, Jon and Kate Plus Drama…and Ed Hardy is getting a little annoying, but don’t you want to see who went with who to the awards show?

And what Kate would do to dress up that hair? Read More »

I know that most people are excited for beach trips, suntans and reading for pleasure this summer, but what’s getting me revved up for the next three months is the totally rad summer TV lineup. After all, sometimes we need to take a break from road trips, slip and slides, and parties and soak in laziness.  Agreed?

And with all the amazingness that summer TV has to offer, kicking back with a Diet Coke and some Smart Pop (and probably some aloe to rub on that “I’m having so much fun I forgot to put on sunscreen” burn) will be just as good as a day at the wave pool. Actually, considering the amount of chilren that pee in that place, this is a whole lot better.

Secret Life of the American Teenager
June 22

The Secret Life is back, baby!! When the season ended, Amy delivered baby John, Ashley moved in with her dad, Grace + Jack = 4-ever, and Adrian ended up alone.  Season Two brings more baby mama drama for Amy, and SOMEONE WILL DIE! (Duh duh duuuuuh.)

Army Wives
In Progress

Think being a soldier in the army is hard? It is. But the Army Wives have their own troubles: falling out of love with their husbands stationed in Iraq, starting a career, kissing a doctor (boss), getting a motorcycle, sending their sons off to war, having an affair… it’s a rough time!! And that was only one army wife.  This circle of women is tough! They fight off stalkers, tend to husbands with PTSD, deal with the death of family members, and battle the vicious tongues of the other prying wives. This show is incredibly moving and drama-rific; perfect for a summer night.

Nurse Jackie
In Progress

Oh yeahhh! Edie Falco is back on the tube. Unfortunately, she is no longer Carmela Soprano.  Instead she plays Jackie O’Hurley, an emergency room nurse in New York City.  Jackie is brilliant, sarcastic and witty, but super flawed and abuses meds to get through the days.  I smell drama.

(PS. For those looking for a Twilight fix, Peter Facinelli plays a doctor on the show! Hotness.) Read More »

My future is totally effed!

College Life. A show not worth watching. This is fact. I could list off a million better things to do with those 30 minutes. Like listing off a million better things to do with those 30 minutes. Or listing all the reasons why I’m so glad I did not have a camera following me around in college.

Since it takes place at my Alma Mater – University of Wisconsin – I always envision the kind of crazy fun I would have brought to the show if it was around while I was in college. I would have ROCKED the over-priced Juicy Couture socks off that show. (Really, Juicy Couture SOCKS?)

But let’s face it:  had I broadcast those best four years on national television, I would have had a lot of explaining to do to my Grandma. And my dentist. And my mailman. And I probably wouldn’t have a job. And then there is always that chance that an annoying nickname would be made up for me by Perez or some other media blogger. Or that MTV would force me to re-create my fights with those long awkward stares and silences that just make everyone uncomfortable.

So instead of watching College Life (or working out, cooking, doing my laundry, or catching up on my reading), I chose to spend my time making a list of the reasons why I am SO happy that I never had the chance to even consider going on it. Read More »

I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.

Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.

But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.

Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours? Read More »

As a female film/TV major, I’ve been noticing lately that although we’ve come a long way for women’s rights, there are still some of us who have to fight sexism on a daily basis just because of what we chose to study in college. Even though almost 60% of college students today are women, there are still many majors that are dominated by the boys.

And my major, film and television, is one of them.

I decided to major in film and TV because I want to work in that industry one day (duh). I have always dreamed of being a screenwriter, producer, or, my ultimate goal, a movie director. When I tell people I that they look at me in shock. “Are there female directors??”

Uh, thanks, dude.
OF COURSE THERE ARE!

When I’m not in the male-dominated classroom, I work (with only 2 other women) for a show on a local TV station. The rest of the staff makes jokes about women constantly, and while it’s all in good fun and I know they’re good guys, I’m getting a bit sick of it. They never listen to me or the other two girls, and we’re kind of ignored when it comes to creative content. The only time they do listen to the women on staff is when it is coming from the size 4, blonde girl I work with. And that only upsets me even more.  Read More »