Welp, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video mysteriously disappeared from YouTube this past weekend after she claimed rights to the video’s release. Not that anyone’s upset or anything. I mean–the vid almost reached 168 MILLION views before it was taken down. I’m proud to say I contributed a whole two views to that count. Let’s be honest, the video is somewhat painful to watch. But the song is painstakingly…catchy? Embarrassing admission: I find myself fighting the urge to post a Rebecca Black line to my twitter account every…single…Friday. (Please, don’t judge me. You’ve done it too!) So now that Becca Black (yes, I’ve taken it upon myself to give her a nickname, as if we’re friends) has surpassed YouTube superstardom: who will take her place? We’re counting down our list of the top 6 next Becca Black tween phenomena. Tell us who your fave is in the comments below! And when you’re done, be sure to check out Becca Black’s newest song “My Moment” here.

P.S.-Am I the only one that thinks that old Pato rapper guy that keeps showing up in all these little girls’ videos is especially creepy? Since when is it normal for all 14 year-olds to have 40 year old rapper friends? Oh that’s right, IT ISN’T. He gets 5 stars on my ultimate creep scale.

6. Kaya: Get You Out Of My Mind- textin me textin me with those smiley faces has to be my favorite line of this song. Who can’t relate to smiley face texts? And the Britney Spears-esque dance moves at the end? Classic material for a YouTube sensation! Take caution while engaging in tween tunes though: the incessant use of autotune is known to trigger uncontrollable anger.

5. Britt Rutter: Without Your Love Take me on a shopping spree, she says. Face-Space, iChat and teddy bears are all classic tween video material. One question though: why the hell did they make him drool like that while he was doing his his hw?! That’s terrible. And there goes the old guy, aka “Pato”. Oh and they broke up at the end of the vid via Facebook. I love the realism here. And guess what: there’s no autotune, holla!

4. Avery: Love Me or Let Me Go: *eagerly writes down tween lyrics that are sadly appropriate for my adult relationship* Although, I can’t decide which is more relevant: That girl, she’s so barbie, she’s so fiction and Catch me if you can before I find another man, I got other plans.  At the end of the video, Avery slams the door in his face after saying “aww” when her screw up of a boyfriend shows up at her house with flowers. The sarcasm in this video is epic! And her Hilary Duff-ish voice & style makes this one of my faves.

3. CJ Fam: Ordinary Pop Star See the thing is, I’m not entirely sure if all of this little girl’s adult teeth have grown in yet. And that scares me. But look at her now, already an ordinary pop star at the tender age of (insert any age below 15). Where will she be in 5 years? Ah, that’s right, she’ll be an older ordinary pop star.

2. Alana Lee  Hamilton ft Pato “Butterflies”: Autotune overload, but the vid is actually age-appropriate. Avril Lavigne’s the only one allowed to wear unbuttoned plaid shirts with school girl pleated skirts and black neckties.

1. Abby Victor: Crush On you: Saturday saturday night: party-in’ party-in’ then you walk in. Okay I seriously thought this was a R. Black spoof when the song first began. They almost sound identical and their lyrics are as pre-teenly unrealistic. But um, why do my tweens wear awkwardly large flowers on their heads? And why does this old guy have 3 lines in all these pre-teens songs?! Oh, she has the flower in different colors. Oh there’s the old guy lurking in the background during the pillow fight. Nope, That’s not creepy at all.

The Pregnant Man – Thomas Beattie became the sensation of the world in April when he appeared on Oprah to defend his choice to have a child as a transgendered man. Sticking up for your beliefs? Awesome, and definitely commendable. Eventually turning into a fame slut and marketing out your second pregnancy? Not cool. Now pregnant with his second child, Beattie has already cemented a book deal on his experience and been interviewed a second time as a ‘Barbara Walters Exclusive.’ One child is a miracle. A second one immediately afterwards is a marketing scheme.

Batsh** Insane Celebrities Across The Media - Britney, Lindsey, and others: we’re talking to you. 2008 was the year of the mental millionaire, with the world playing a captive audience to the tragic, bizarre, and sometimes just eerie behavior of celebrities. We watched Britney Spears struggle to put her life back together after divorce, Lindsey Lohan battling various addictions, and Scarlett Johansson crossing the borderline into stalker-ish about Barack Obama. Here’s the real scoop: an estimated 57.7 million adults are suffering from a diagnosable mental illness in the United States alone. What makes these celebrities any different from these people who are suffering in private besides their income and the paparazzi that shadow them? Watching people suffer is definitely a trend that shouldn’t cross over into ’09.

“Reality” Dating Shows - Now that Flavor Flav has finally hung up his clock and gone off the air, there are about thirty shows taking his place, and they’re spreading like cockroaches. Tila Tequila, the ‘Ikki Twins,’ and others are taking over Vh1 and MTV mercilessly, swamping our televisions with drunken fights (actually funny to watch), and pointless drama. Who makes their boyfriends/girlfriends eat nasty pig parts and do bizarre things in the name of love? These loveless actors do. Some dating shows range from the creepy (Date My Mom) to the outright postmortem (The Bachelor), but either way, they all need to go.

Political Ignorance/Apathy – In the year of the historical election, political action was awesome and political apathy was absolutely the anti-cool. The worst of the worse were the nonpartisans who were both apathetic and uneducated about the election. Their “why should I bother to vote” statements were both inhibiting to the democratic tradition and simply irritating. Guaranteed to piss off people who were voting, the ‘Not Voting’ demographic drew on fallacies and the platforms that they didn’t really understand to prove why they weren’t going to vote. The election was basically a two horse race, but there were still other entries available as an alternate, so not voting at all was just not cool.

Guys in Girl Jeans – It’s creepy. It’s weird. It’s a guy shopping in the same section as you in PacSun. As you put down the pair of sunglasses you were looking at and openly stare, you realize he’s not just shopping for a shirt to give to his girlfriend. He’s holding three pairs of jeans in his hand, and there’s no girlfriend in sight. As you watch, he takes the jeans and starts walking to the dressing rooms. You are not witnessing a confused shopper. You’re witnessing the Girl Jean Phenomenon, a plague of 2008 pop culture, and a trend that needs to die on December 31st. Guys wearing our jeans is not cool or edgy. It’s just lame and, now, overplayed.

Saturday Night Live – Is it still going? It’s been in the process of becoming painfully unfunny in the years since Will Ferrell left, and now with the exit of Amy Poehler, we just need to euthanize it. A classic sketch show that began in 1975 with genuinely funny people, SNL has run over six hundred episodes of pure comedic bliss continuously for thirty-three years. As with all great series, though, the time has come to put SNL out of its misery before it becomes the kind of joke it used to make.

Churning Out Tween Pop Stars By The Dozen – If child enslavement was defined as being manufactured on a kids’ show and being shoved on the masses, Disney and Nickelodeon would be doing massive amounts of time in jail. The list of sugary sweet music artists includes, but definitely is not limited to The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, Demi What’s-Her-Name, That Miranda Kid, and a host of others, few if any of whom have actual talent. But you wouldn’t know, because should you approach any method of media that is playing a song by them, you’ll be deafened instantly and hopelessly by the cacophony of shrieking that erupts. The Original Disney Channel Star, Hilary Duff, unfortunately started it all when she split from Disney in 2004 to pursue a solo career (which caused a big fuss, if I remember right). She was an original, at least for the Disney Channel. These cookie cutter kids? About as generic as it gets.

Agree or disagree? Think something else should have made the list? Voice your opinions below, and tell us what you think about the worst pop culture in 2008!