This week’s WTF is brought to you on behalf of Jours Après Lunes, a French lingerie design house that has just launched a couple new lines- one for tweens (!!) and one for girls in the 3-36 month age range (!!!).

While the toddler line is pretty tame, the tween collection leaves little to the imagination. From sexed up hair and long string pearls to creepily playful poses and too much makeup (one little girl even has a fake tattoo on her back), this isn’t your standard Hanes underwear.

What eight year-old needs a fancy bra? What toddler needs to have undies “just like mom’s”? Something is seriously wrong here. Let’s get these girls some underoos, stat!

Welp, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video mysteriously disappeared from YouTube this past weekend after she claimed rights to the video’s release. Not that anyone’s upset or anything. I mean–the vid almost reached 168 MILLION views before it was taken down. I’m proud to say I contributed a whole two views to that count. Let’s be honest, the video is somewhat painful to watch. But the song is painstakingly…catchy? Embarrassing admission: I find myself fighting the urge to post a Rebecca Black line to my twitter account every…single…Friday. (Please, don’t judge me. You’ve done it too!) So now that Becca Black (yes, I’ve taken it upon myself to give her a nickname, as if we’re friends) has surpassed YouTube superstardom: who will take her place? We’re counting down our list of the top 6 next Becca Black tween phenomena. Tell us who your fave is in the comments below! And when you’re done, be sure to check out Becca Black’s newest song “My Moment” here.

P.S.-Am I the only one that thinks that old Pato rapper guy that keeps showing up in all these little girls’ videos is especially creepy? Since when is it normal for all 14 year-olds to have 40 year old rapper friends? Oh that’s right, IT ISN’T. He gets 5 stars on my ultimate creep scale.

6. Kaya: Get You Out Of My Mind- textin me textin me with those smiley faces has to be my favorite line of this song. Who can’t relate to smiley face texts? And the Britney Spears-esque dance moves at the end? Classic material for a YouTube sensation! Take caution while engaging in tween tunes though: the incessant use of autotune is known to trigger uncontrollable anger.

5. Britt Rutter: Without Your Love Take me on a shopping spree, she says. Face-Space, iChat and teddy bears are all classic tween video material. One question though: why the hell did they make him drool like that while he was doing his his hw?! That’s terrible. And there goes the old guy, aka “Pato”. Oh and they broke up at the end of the vid via Facebook. I love the realism here. And guess what: there’s no autotune, holla!

4. Avery: Love Me or Let Me Go: *eagerly writes down tween lyrics that are sadly appropriate for my adult relationship* Although, I can’t decide which is more relevant: That girl, she’s so barbie, she’s so fiction and Catch me if you can before I find another man, I got other plans.  At the end of the video, Avery slams the door in his face after saying “aww” when her screw up of a boyfriend shows up at her house with flowers. The sarcasm in this video is epic! And her Hilary Duff-ish voice & style makes this one of my faves.

3. CJ Fam: Ordinary Pop Star See the thing is, I’m not entirely sure if all of this little girl’s adult teeth have grown in yet. And that scares me. But look at her now, already an ordinary pop star at the tender age of (insert any age below 15). Where will she be in 5 years? Ah, that’s right, she’ll be an older ordinary pop star.

2. Alana Lee  Hamilton ft Pato “Butterflies”: Autotune overload, but the vid is actually age-appropriate. Avril Lavigne’s the only one allowed to wear unbuttoned plaid shirts with school girl pleated skirts and black neckties.

1. Abby Victor: Crush On you: Saturday saturday night: party-in’ party-in’ then you walk in. Okay I seriously thought this was a R. Black spoof when the song first began. They almost sound identical and their lyrics are as pre-teenly unrealistic. But um, why do my tweens wear awkwardly large flowers on their heads? And why does this old guy have 3 lines in all these pre-teens songs?! Oh, she has the flower in different colors. Oh there’s the old guy lurking in the background during the pillow fight. Nope, That’s not creepy at all.

But our 12-year-old sister might not understand that materialistic banter and wildly frequent sex is the making of entertainment. Our 12-year-old sister might think those are really things to aspire to. And we wouldn’t want that.

So why, may I ask, has HarperCollins asked Candace Bushnell to pen a new seires of Young Adult novels? Are The Carrie Diaries, reportedly about Carrie’s high school years, just an attempt to get a new, younger audience into SATC? Are tweens really ready for couture and an obsession with relationships that boarders on psychotic? I mean, maybe Bushnell will break the mold and write about something other than New York City, designer labels, and women chasing after men…but forgive us if we have our doubts on that one.

What do you think? If The Carrie Diaires come out, would you want the little girls you love to read it?

But, rash-inducing as it is, you can’t deny that HSM has completely taken over the world to the point where crazy dictators are probably kicking themselves that they didn’t think of it first. Below, your first taste of HSM 3: We All Look Like We’re Made Of Wax (Note: I may have made that title up).

[Also...I would like to offer a $500,000 reward for the head of the man or woman who wrote the lyrics during the basketball game in this trailer. They must be destroyed]

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