I owned a pair of Crocs once. They were pink and super comfortable. I used them as shower shoes my freshman year of college, but I would never be caught dead wearing them in public. Soon they became gross and mildew-ish, so I threw them out. This was probably due less to the fact that they were old and dirty but to the fact that I was teased constantly by my friends on my floor for owning such an ugly pair of shoes.

I don’t know if it’s the style, the loud colors or just the general public opinion that Crocs are ugly that makes them so easy to poke fun at, but we all do. Here’s the thing though: the Crocs company sells shoes and other products that are even uglier than their trademark shoe! Hard to process, I know, but take a look.

Gorgeous but deadly?  University of Washington student Amanda Knox might soon stand trial for murder – all because her roommate refused to join her in a drug-fueled orgy.

Holy hottness!  Andy Roddick is giving naked tennis lessons for $15k!

Miley Cyrus is so lazy wealthy she can pay people to spoon feed her.

Bill Maher wraps himself in atheist arms and the Catholics aren’t happy about it.

David Beckham is so hot he can steam up the frozen food aisle.

Did Christie Brinkley’s disgusting ex-hubby film himself having sex with a 19-year-old?!

Call your cable guy! Juno genius Diablo Cody has written a dramedy for Showtime.

John McCain is computer illiterate, so if you wanna get in touch with him don’t send an email.

Ouch! Madonna thinks Guy Ritchie is emotionally retarded.

Denis Leary is following his own advice by staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid.

Is it just us or are these shoes seriously ugly?

Jack Nicholson might want to consider hitting the gym.

All I remember is taking a look at the sheer brightness of the neon orange rubber and thinking, “Will I actually wear these things after one day?”

No. Probably not.

Yes, they’re comfy, they’re quirky and they’ve got that whole hippie vibe goin’ on, but…they’re ugly.

And being that, if I was gonna do it, I was gonna do it right – with an utterly ridiculous shade of electric green or cotton candy pink – they would match none of my clothes. I’d end up looking very, very silly, along with all the other silly Croc-footed people that jumped on the rubber-soled bandwagon this past year.

But the fad has taken it one step further on the scale of ridiculousness, with Cloggens.

Cloggens (like “clogs” – get it?) are basically just like Crocs, but with other materials and designs in them. Crocs that look like they’re made out of a pair of denim pants.

And their genius slogan?

“Shoes For Humans”

I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I hate them already and I’m sure they’ll be all over the place within the next month. The next big shoe fad. Ugh. Denim mixed with rubber? HIDEOUS. $50 for a pair? NO WAY. And “Shoes For Humans”? What the hell else would be wearing shoes?

Hmmmm…..