Ever heard of Fibonacci’s Golden Ratio? Yeah, me either. But I feel like it’s maybe the one thing I would have appreciated learning about in math class. But that’s what the iPhone is for! There is a new app called “Fit or Fugly” that uses the Golden Ratio, which measures how symmetrical your face is, to tell you just how beautiful or hideous you actually are.

I can’t tell if this is something I really want to know, but I kind of think I do.

But not about myself, of course; my mom tells me I’m pretty/I may cry if my cell phone tells me I’m ugly.  But this app could come in handy in so many other instances. For example, my sister always boasts that she is the beauty of the family. Oh yeah, Kimberly? Fibonacci says differently. In your ugly face, lil’ sis!

Or maybe you’ve donned your not-so-trusty beer goggles for the night and you’re just about ready to take home that stunning piece of man-meat you’ve been eyeing up all night. The “Fit or Fugly” app may just save you from making the worst mistake of your college career. Without it, you might have been waking up next to Alf tomorrow morning. The iPhone saves the day again.

So instead of putting your picture up on “Hot or Not” and letting strangers judge your overall attractiveness, let technology and math give you the empirical evidence you need to know that you (or your unsuspecting victim) are beautiful…. or not.

“Hey Christian Audigier… Thanks for ruining America…” is how my new favorite song, F**k Ed Hardy, by Dirt Nasty starts.

Christian Audigier, the man who brought us overpriced trucker hats in 2001, is now ruining the world once again with his latest line, Don Ed Hardy. Obvi you know about this stuff, seeing as everyone from Paris Hilton to Lil Jon to the players of Inter Milan (an Italian soccer team) sport the stuff.

And I have to say: I really effing hate Ed Hardy.

Now, I’m not the usual one to bash on things, but after hearing for two years how ‘cute’ Ed Hardy is and having friends coo over the shirt, shoes, hats and other accessories… I’m absolutely sick of it. Instead of just wrinkling my nose in distaste and immediately walking to the other side of Nordstrom, here are actual reasons why I hate that crap.

You with me? Read More »

2008 was an interesting year for fashion. Gone (thankfully) were the maternity tops of 2007, replaced by blasts from the past inspirations from the 20s through the days of our best pals on Beverly Hills 90210. We saw everything from the mom-jean to the 90s flannel button down. Some of it was fab, and some of it… not so much. So, let’s take a look at this year’s fashion highs and fashion oh-hell-no’s.

Because without the crap we can’t appreciate the couture. Read More »

Pop quiz! Who makes the ugliest shoes on Earth?Ask anyone this question and they’ll give you one of two answers. Uggs. Or Crocs.

Now, I will happily argue to my death that Uggs are not that ugly and I will continue to wear them despite what anyone says. But Crocs? Disgusting rubber, brightly colored Crocs? I wouldn’t even be caught dead in them. After all, when I think of the average Crocs-wearer, I think of grubby little kids wearing orange shirts with bright yellow Crocs (always clashing) with those stupid little charms stuck in the holes. Or their plain un-stylish parents.

Do I fall into one of those categories? I think not. Read More »

Let’s face it: We LOVE to gossip. We gossip about friends and we gossip about foes. Such idle talk allows us to convey information quickly, although not always accurately. This being said, it is no surprise that the website Juicy Campus has been increasing in popularity since it was founded on August 1, 2007.

When my friends first introduced me to Juicy Campus, I wrote it off as another place for people to share their college exploits online. But I quickly realized that this site was different; I actually knew the people that were being discussed! Friends, classmates, hookups—no one was free from the wrath of this critical group. Let’s just put it this way, if the “Burn Book” from Mean Girls was published online for all to see and comment on, I would imagine it would look similar to Juicy Campus.

The site was created by Mark Ivester, a Duke University Alum, with “the simple mission of enabling online anonymous free speech on college campuses.” (Editor’s Note: That’s a nice way to refer to sh*t talking!) There are currently 64 colleges listed on the site, including many prestigious institutions such as Harvard, UPenn, and Brown. The topics on the site range from the innocent (“Best Frat on Campus”) to the scandalous (“Sex with Professors”). Each post gets a rating ranging from 0% Juicy to 100% Juicy, so the juicier the gossip, the better the rating. Read More »

Ah, 90210. I remember sitting on my couch in middle school, my legging-clad legs propped up on the coffee table and my boys size extra small plaid shirt tied to one side around my waist, watching every episode religiously. I mean, these kids were so cool and had such dramatic lives and how awesome was it that they got to go to school by the beach?! I loved everyone, except Donna — who was whiny and had horrible fashion sense — and often dreamed that my high school experience would be full of ex-boyfriends, accidental drug overdoses, trips to Paris, and constant sexual tension.

Sadly, reality isn’t half as fun as fiction. But happily, 90210 is coming BACK to prime time TV later on this year! The promos and whispers have finally begun to surface, and one interesting (but I mean, how are the two related?) tie-in with the 90210 resurgence is OPI nail polish. Apparently, OPI is bringing out a “90210 inspired collection” of polish colors with names inspired by either the new cast or the old one — we’re not sure which.

It’ll be interesting to see how a company ties in nail polish to a series, but I’m sure today’s consumer culture will not disappoint. If, however, they try to make a color that has to do with Donna — stay the eff away. It will look ugly, and quite possibly make people suddenly decide you’re too annoying to live.

[Editor's Note: check out the Mom Jeans on every single cast member in the above pic. PRICELESS]

I don’t know when or why it happened, but some time in the last few years people started popping up all over the place wearing orthopedic shoes. Brightly colored, rubber orthopedic shoes. And then they started sticking little decorations on them.

And then, gasp, I saw them being sold at Nordstrom.

Which is where I learned that the shoes were called Crocs and, despite being the most horrifically ugly footwear since the Moon Boot, they were very popular.

“They are so comfortable,” my 30-year-old brother said after I gagged when I saw him wearing them.

Since when does the entire world give up fashion for comfort? Seriously, my grandma wouldn’t even be caught dead in those things.

Well, the….er….masterminds behind the Croc heard my complaint. Sorta. They have been working feverishly to expand their product into the not-so-ugly market and have now done it with….

Wait for it….

The Croc High Heel.

I really didn’t think it could get any worse than the original, but, alas, I was wrong. I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I would rather walk home from the bar with 2 bloody stumps than even try these things on in stores.

If you know what is good for you (and fashion as a whole) you will not give in to the crazies over at Croc. No matter how high the heel or the comfort level.

I’ve heard it a million too many times: “Wear makeup so that it doesn’t LOOK like you’re wearing makeup!”

Too often, the advice is being given but no one is hanging around to do the instructing. Painting your face (and yes, I will stoop to this level) so that it looks natural is actually quite an artistic gift that one needs to work long and hard at honing.

It requires actually understanding the difference between your real lip color and candy apple red. It requires putting your purple eye shadow in detention until that glamorous-hipster-weekend party rolls along. (Or not so glamorous groupie rock show…either or). But if you can bear to face your day without these neon signs that scream “She might be UGLY under all of this!“, you’ll succeed in not only looking hotter than you actually do when you wake up, but also in fooling a whole lot of people that you’re ridiculously naturally gorgeous.

So here are some tips I’ve got for you. I do not bring them to you in vain. These tips have collected themselves in the beauty corner of my brain only after numerous glitter spills and eyeliner smears.

1. Mascara. You’ll need it. But lets keep it real, shall we? Your eyelashes aren’t blue. G et a color that makes sense for your natural complexion. If you’re one of those born blonde babes, try a light brown.

2. Concealer. Sometimes you simply have some stuff you wanna…ugh….CONCEAL. Dark circles. Pimples. Yeah, they’re the “real you”, but who needs to know? Try dabbing the makeup around the area you’re covering instead of wiping it in. Making sure you cover the area under your eyes can really lift them and make you seem way more awake than you probably are. Read More »

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or some other holiday that not many people know about, you have undoubtedly received a gift that made you cringe, bite your lip to keep your mouth from saying something rude, or eyes water from the sheer ugliness factor.

While awesome presents are fun to receive, crappy presents are fun to talk about. So here, in no particular order, are three of the stupidest things I have received in recent memory.

* Box of Sparkly Body Spray – When I was 12, I freakin’ loved sparkly things. I would have killed for something like this in my teenybopper phase. However, once I turned, oh, say 22, I had pretty much left my gaudy taste behind. Too bad a long lost relative didn’t get the memo. When I opened this present—a set of three different kinds of pink, sparkly, heavily scented body sprays with Barbie heads as bottle stoppers—I was immediately mortified for everyone in the room. Either this relative was so out of touch with reality she thought Barbie was still something I enjoyed, or she had just totally and obviously re-gifted. Read More »

So there’s this evolutionary theorist in London who’s pretty sure that in about 100,000 years, the human race will be divided into Hot or Not.

Seriously.

According to Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics, by the year 3000, “the human race [will] peak”, and people will start to become much choosier about their partners, “causing humanity to divide into sub-species”.

“The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative” Curry insists, while the “underclass” will have “evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.”

Curry goes on to explain how women will look in the distant future, and while I’m sure his description is based in science, I can’t help but wonder if he’s not letting just a little bit of male fantasy slip into this description.

“Women…will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features”.

So basically, we’ll look like a combination of a hot robot and an Anime character. Read More »