Every day we’re bombarded with a million different messages about what we are supposed to look like. And tell you what, our not-so-scientific-yet-totally-accurate visual research proves that 99% of girls out there don’t fit the mold. So instead of telling you how to wear your hair, or how much weight to lose, or which one of Heidi Montag’s many surgeries to get, we’re going to celebrate these so-called beauty flaws with beautiful women every single week.

Last week we celebrated the bushy brow. Today, let’s talk about the schnoz.

It seems like every time you go online another celebrity got a nose job due to “a deviated septum.” It’s ridiculous that they expect us to believe that and even more ridiculous that they got it done in the first place. Big noses don’t mean you can’t be a big beauty and today we’re all about the women who embrace what their mama (and papa) gave ‘em.

For most women, a trip to a spa is an oasis of relaxation. Massages. Manicures, pedicures. Facials. Hours in the steam room. Maybe a seaweed wrap…

But many health and beauty resorts are going beyond basic pampering packages and offering optimum weight loss treatments, hyper-anti-aging techniques and lessons in bioenergetic psychology.

The hottest detox destination du jour? The Palace Hotel, nestled in the foothills of the Italian Dolomites.

Voted the most life-changing spa in the world by Tatler magazine, the world’s wealthiest and most glamorous women (Monaco’s Princess Caroline, Elle Macpherson, Uma Thurman) are lining up for the hotel’s intense “wellness” regiment.

Sample day? Apple puree for breakfast, electric shock therapy at lunch and laxatives for dinner.

The spa endorses a health system called biontology, “the study of the essence of life and its evolution” designed by Frechman Henri Chenot. Using a combination of Chinese medicine, naturopathy and advanced Western technology Chenot promises to “work on the equilibrium between mind, unconscious and physical body, attenuating the problems and signs of ageing, tiredness and organic intoxication.”

In between colonic irrigations, phyto-mud wraps, hydro jet therapy and (Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite) cupping, guests submit themselves to daily naked weigh-ins, extreme food restrictions, hours of exercise and entire physical analysis (body mass index, heart and lung capacity, bio-energy circulation testing).

“I feel so sick and hungry,” Anna Pasternak writes of her week-long stay. “I am so dizzy I think I’m going to faint… The doctor comes and I sit crying, obsessed by how hungry and lonely I’m feeling.”

Although her mood eventually starts to improve, drinking rounds of “gag-inducing apple cider vinegar mixed with water to eliminate fluid retention” makes Pasternak wonder if it’s all really worth it.

Lucky for us, we might soon to get to experience the unmitigated hell in person. In addition to developing his own food line and expanding his popular skin care range, Henri Chenot is opening spas in Greece and Moscow.

Now if only I could pony up $8000 for a week-long visit.

I mean, I’d hit that.

There have been 5 Batman films since 1989, with a 6th one coming out this weekend. Not all of them have been critically acclaimed, but certainly all of them have tried to manufacture true hotness in a batsuit. Because we enjoy hotness even more than we enjoy things blowing up and campy dialogue, we here at CC have listed the Batman movies in order of their attractiveness factor. That’s right. Hot. Bod. Action.

5) Batman and Robin (1997)

Why it’s HOT: George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Uma Thurman, requisite skin-tight body suits

Why it’s NOT: Ahnold Schwarzengovener, Chris O’Donnell, the whole idea of “batboy” (please. Never seen anything gayer), the whole idea of “batgirl” (double please. She sucked), and this plot summary from IMDB.com: “Batman & Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City” (sounds like a chick flick where people have idiot names).

4) Batman (1989)

Why it’s Hot: Jack Nicholson being crazy, Michael Keaton’s expressive eyebrows, pre-Ihatemyhusband Kim Basinger

Why it’s Not: Everything about Michael Keaton besides his eyebrows, boring plot, and how come it’s never sunny in Gotham?

3) Batman Returns (1992)

Why it’s Hot: Michelle Pfeiffer (and her catsuit), Michael Keaton’s eyebrows (now with more expression!) Christopher Walken, a plot that is interesting, Danny DeVito’s penguin laugh

Why it’s Not: Danny DeVito’s small penguin body, everything else about Michael Keaton (on what planet is this man attractive?), stupid obvious title

2) Batman Forever (1995)

Why it’s Hot: pre-fatness Val Kilmer in spandex, Nicole Kidman, hilariously ADDified Jim Carrey, Drew Barrymore, Tommy Lee Jones (when isn’t he fabulous?), lots of stuff exploding into fiery plumes

Why it’s Not: Chris O’Donnell (just.go.away), the wicked long plot, Jim Carrey in a green bodysuit, a title that makes no sense

1) Batman Begins (2005)

Why it’s Hot: Christian Bale in spandex, Christian Bale doing various shirtless things including push-ups, Michael Caine, Liam Neelson, a really good plot, Christian Bale smiling, Christian Bale’s accent…

Why it’s Not: Katie Holmes (all downhill since Dawson’s Creek, sweetheart), the fact that Christian Bale is not shirtless more often

[Any hot or not parts to your favorite Batman film? Also, how psyched are you for The Dark Knight (and possible shirtless Bale action)?!]