Aw, so cute! Thank god she belongs to someone else!

I have this problem and it seems as though other girls I know simply don’t have it.

The problem: I don’t want a baby.

Earlier this morning, I watched a two-year-old (with an English accent!) walking around and laughing, and he was hilariously cute. I smiled. I said things like, “Aww…he’s so smart!” And I truly meant the things I said. I truly thought he was adorable. But seeing a kid and thinking that kid is adorable doesn’t make me want one.

I love being an aunt. My niece and nephew are absolutely amazing and I, like many proud aunts and uncles, think they’re flawless godsends. There’s nothing they can do to make me love them any less than I already do.

But I just don’t want any babies of my own. Read More »

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know.]

This past weekend, my bf invited me to have Easter dinner with his family. After already weaseling my way out of both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, I knew I was going to have to come up with a GOOD excuse this time. Unfortunately, he caught me off guard and I think I stammered something along the lines of “Er… can’t…. brother… stay home… babysit… sorry!” into the phone. His response? “Great! Bring him with you.” Crap. So in honor of my 2 hours of awkwardness (kidding!!! uh..sorta), here is how to manage: Read More »

Ah, Thanksgiving traditions.

Some of them are sweet; sitting around a table surrounded by people you love, giving thanks for all the things you’ve been given. Some of them are funny; deep frying an entire turkey or playing board games with a bunch of drunk family members. And some of them, well, some of them we’d really like to never go through again; dodging the inevitable “why are you still single / what are you studying / what are you going to do with a liberal arts degree?” question or watching your uncle’s face turn red as he realizes your politics in no way represent his.

My family has a lot of traditions (many of which include alcohol and loud Italian yelling matches), but one of my favorite things to do every year as a kid was sit down in front of the TV with my aunt and uncle and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. Read More »

So my dad has a really tight knit group of friends. Guys, gals, married, single, old, young, he’s got ‘em all. It’s actually kind of sweet, and it gives me hope for the longevity of my friendships. Anyway, they’ve all known each other and been BFFs since college, so naturally they’ve all been a part of my life. Cookouts, football games, Dungeons and Dragons tournaments… Oh yeah. They’re all huge, colossal nerds; just like my dad. But you know what? I was too, and it’s totally cool. I’m not ashamed of my nerdy past.

But whatever, those days are gone (I swear) and I digress. My point is that after you hit a certain age and you haven’t grown out of it, you’ll always be a huge nerd. (And I don’t mean me.) So why this is now my problem? Well in the past two years since I became legal, my dad’s sadly overweight, still-single at 50 computer nerd friends have reared their ugly heads and have started to use what seems like the same lame pick-up attempts their younger counterparts try on me all the time.

Suddenly I’m getting IMs from men I once thought of as weird but kind uncles (one of them actually IS step-mother’s brother), and it’s not, “hey kiddo, how’s school? Keep up the great work!” No, instead, this is the kind of message I can expect: Read More »