Yesterday was a busy day for me. I worked, I went to the dentist (and discovered I have 2 cavities….awesome), I worked out, and then I came home to settle in and watch a little Bachelor Pad (though, my friends all thought I was working more; I don’t need to hear their judgments about how I spend my evenings).

Besides feeling a whole lot dumber after 2 hours of those shenanigans (not sure if it’s Tenley’s shrieks or Wes’s confusion between math and science that did it…), I felt horribly uncomfortable for the entire episode. Like watching Michael Scott try to make a sale uncomfortable. Or watching an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Or watching my brother try to scam on chicks.

There were so many awkward moments, I broke out in a sweat. It was so bad that while I normally fast forward through commercials, I welcomed the breaks from sloppy kisses and boob flashing with open arms.

Allow me to take you on a trip down Cringe-worthy Lane: Read More »

I think last night might have been the best episode of Tough Love yet. In fact, I’m ready to say it might be some of the best TV I’ve seen since Bromance (but then again, I clearly have no standards). Watching that episode sent me on a roller coaster of emotion and since the shades on my window were open and the people across the street can see into my place, they would have seen this:

Me laughing.
Me staring at the screen in shock.
Me laughing really loud (this is probably when Taylor was talking; that bitch is funny).
Me eating snacks.
Me plucking my eyebrows during the commercials.
Me picking my jaw up off the floor.
Me screaming at the TV.

Steve’s idea to bring the girls’ past and present together into one seriously awkward dinner party was deliciously brilliant. Of course, I wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of that, but it was pretty awesome to watch. Especially a few select ladies: Read More »

A few years ago, Match Point was on HBO. Having nothing better to do, I began watching it, and noticed a pretty hot guy I’d never seen before.

That hot guy turned out to be Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and although I ended up falling asleep before the movie ended (something about self-absorbed people and Woody Allen dialogue works better than Lunesta for me), I couldn’t forget that Irish accent and those awesome lips.

Flash forward to one odd magazine cover and a few movies later, and you’ve got someone who’s not only no longer attracted to JRM, but has developed a strange fear of seeing his face anywhere.

I don’t know what happened. I’m not sure if he lost weight, got plastic surgery, or if my taste in men has just changed drastically, but seeing the recent pictures of JRM makes me want to stay away from his new movie August Rush (even though the adorable Keri Rusell co-stars) purely because his face makes me so damn uncomfortable. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 76

Mood: Amused

Daniel B sat down at the table across from me, setting a giant coffee cup in front of him and dropping some heavy books on the table.

“So, what page are those problems on that you wanted to take a look at?”

Just like Daniel, wasting no time getting down to business. Idle chatter made him uncomfortable. He could talk for hours about numbers and equations, but ask him about the weather or his favorite food and he’d tense up; his hands turning into fists and his adam’s apple sliding up and down in a constant rhythm.

I wondered if he had friends who he could relax with. I wondered if he had any friends at all.

“The ones on 154 and 159. I’ve been trying to do them on my own, but I don’t know if I’m getting the right answer.” Pushing my tea of the way, I set my own book on the small café table. I liked coming to the cafe at night. Even though it was inside the student center, it was mostly quiet after nine, and ever since that uncomfortable incident with Sasha and his “buddies”, I hadn’t seen a single person I recognized at any of the tables.

“These?” Daniel B. ran his finger down the page, pushing his glasses up with his other hand. “These are easy. You shouldn’t be having a problem.”

Another thing about Daniel B., he rarely filtered his thoughts from his mouth. Whatever he thought, he said. Even if it could be construed as insulting. Read More »

I have tried to walk in high heels my whole life.

Even playing dress up with my mom’s clothes, I would put them on and wobble carefully around the living room, fully aware that there was an allure about them, but also fully aware that the sensation of balancing on a thin little piece of wood wasn’t fun in the least.

These days, I have basically the same assumption about stilettos. They look awesome, but they feel like sh*t.

Camilla Morton, author of How to Walk in High Heels: The Girl’s Guide to Everything agrees with me when it comes to the ouch factor of such shoes, but wants us women to deal with the pain and wear them anyway.

“With the heel comes glamour, mystique, height and allure.” Morton writes, “Lofty, impractical shoes put you on your own personal pedestal, ready to meet the world. Heels are a gym workout in themselves. They slim, elongate, put off the need for liposuction, add grace and poise, and quadruple your self-esteem.”

The idea of wearing “lofty, impractical shoes” on a daily basis sounds ridiculous to me. Especially here in New York City, where my motto has always been “if you can’t run in them, don’t buy them.” I wonder if this woman walks at all; does she have to go up and down subway stairs, hike her two-week old laundry onto her shoulder and stumble into a laundry mat, or walk up four flights to get to her apartment?

“Heels are one of the most potent weapons a woman has,” Morton continues, “so why not stand on that portable pedestal and admire the view?”

Your uncomfortable shoes may be your “most potent weapon”, lady, but I’d thank you very much to keep me out of that generalization. I like to rely on more than just my footwear in this life. Read More »