OMG I LEARNED SO MUCH IN COSMO THIS MONTH.

Actually, the things I’ve learned in Cosmo are mostly a small collection of scientific studies a group of middle schoolers could have conducted and learned from. For instance, Cosmo reports that (according to a rip-roaring scientific study) love may actually be able to ease pain. Get THIS: In a “study” people holding hot objects reported feeling better when they were shown pictures of someone they cared about. Oh, really?

“Here honey, hold this scolding coffee pot with your bare hands. Ouch, that hurts? Just look at me! You will feel better!”

Oh, Cosmo. And then according to “recent research” eating fewer carbs reduces belly fat. Did you just fall off your chair? Get back on and keep reading.

In Cosmo’s ‘Fascinating Facts About Love’ article, we learned that men say I love you 42 days before woman do (no idea where they came up with that estimate) and that he’s “more sensitive about relationship issues than you are.” Doesn’t Cosmo get it? Obviously this study came from men’s relationship with fantasy football.

Ok…and since I can’t resist any longer, I have to whip out my favorite article of the month. But be careful, you might get a thong slung at your face! Yes, Cosmo went through the trouble of coming up with ’25 Kinky Things to Do With Your Undies.’ Well, at least they didn’t use the word panties.

Cosmo Says: Use your underwear as a scrunchie.

Brittany Says: And use your bra as a stylish new beanie. NO, Cosmo. This isn’t funny and this isn’t even 80s. Nobody wants to see anyone flaunting what they wear on their punta takin’ up space in their curls.

Cosmo Says: Make a dirty bracelet. Grab a lacy thong, and wrap it around your wrist a few times.

Brittany Says: First of all, I understand what would go into turning butt floss into something I’d wear as jewelry so save the thong meets wrist tutorial. Second of all, this doesn’t deserve a second of all. It’s too dumb.

Cosmo Says: Call it a gunslinger. Slide off your underwear, twirl it around your pointer finger, and shoot it like a rubber band right at him.

Brittany Says: I personally don’t have a pair of undies that have that much elastic force. If I tried this, the thong would just bounce softly back onto my wrist….oh wait, now I understand where the last tip was coming from!

Cosmo Says: Have him place his ankles in the holes of your underwear, almost like you’re tying his feet together. He’ll feel dominated — aka massively turned on.

Brittany Says: Here’s what I/every man heard: Have him place his cute little ankles into the holes of your pink panties with teddies on them. Almost like you’re making him wear your lingerie. He’ll feel feminine — aka man, I feel like a woman.

No idea where Shania Twain came into this.

It’s the end of the year and as you start packing up your stuff to head home for the summer, you might notice the effect the dryer has had on your undies. Yes, after a year of industrial dryers your delicates are probably looking a little frayed and a lot tattered.

What better way to refresh your spring wardrobe than with some pretty new underthings?

Underwear is an easy way to incorporate new trends into your wardrobe with minimal expense. You can add stripes and florals, and lots of colors and patterns without breaking the bank. While you might not be showing off your undies to the world, knowing you have pretty things underneath will make you feel prettier, sexier, and overall just better. (And chances are, you are showing them off to somebody, so don’t you want to put your best….ahem….’foot’ forward?)

If I’ve got you convinced that you need to refresh your collection of underwear, I’ve got 15 items to get you thinking, each more beautiful than the one before!

[Click on any item to shop!]

At the beginning of the previous semester, I dedicated a post to the top 5 bras every college girl should own. These bras, I noted, were essentials that could totally make or break your look.

In order to create the perfect foundation for your outfit, the panties you choose are equally important! If your lingerie drawer is in need of an upgrade, if you’re unsure of what to wear under that new dress, or if you simply consider yourself a lingerie junkie like I do, read on! These five styles should be staples in every college girl’s wardrobe.

1. Boy Shorts/Booty Shorts

Why they’re a must-own:

Boy shorts are surprisingly great under skirts and dresses, or anything with a more flowy construction. A great pair of boy shorts won’t show any traditional panty lines, so you can wear them underneath fairly tight pieces, too. Another reason they’re great? Coverage. If you’re wearing a skirt on a windy day, wouldn’t you rather be wearing booty shorts than anything smaller?!

When buying boy shorts, make sure you pick pairs that are snug enough to hug your body, but not tight enough to cause the dreaded muffin top. Don’t go too loose either, though! There is nothing worse than a saggy, baggy pair of boy shorts!

Top Picks:

Product Information: Sheer Lace Boyshort, Forever 21. Lace Striped Boyshort Panties, Charlotte Russe. Aerie Ultimate Tanga, American Eagle. Ruffle Mesh Boyshort Panties, Charlotte Russe.

What other undies do you need in your arsenal? Read the rest CollegeFashion.net!

There are many difficult decisions we women must make at different times throughout our lives: tampon or pad, Brazilian or bikini, Pantene or Herbel Essense, Gossip Girl or The Hills? Difficult, difficult decisions.

It wasn’t until recently, however, that I faced one of the toughest short term decisions of my life. Or night. This choice would affect it all: my looks, my weight, and my potential for pulling some major booty.

Here was my dilemma: Do I wear Spanx, the best body shaping underwear that eliminates panty lines and takes about 10 pounds away from my curvaceous bod, or do I wear the sexy, skanky, black lace thong?

I know I’m not the only girl out there who has pondered this perplexity. And I am definitely not the last. So, what should you do? Let’s break it down:

Spanx make that tight dress fit perfectly and suck you in at all the right places. Problem is, body shaping underwear looks like this, or worse, like this. They’re like granny-panties-meet-military-armor with the dangerous potential to scare away any guy who finds his way down south.

Thongs, on the other hand, are straight out of every man’s fantasy. They are a guaranteed turn-on and a real flag raiser (if you know what I’m sayin’…). But they also leave everything hangin’ out…and jiggling.

Spanx make you look good, which, in turn, make you feel good and beautiful and confident enough to walk up to that fellow you’ve been eying and spit your best game.

Thongs are thin strips of material that ride uncomfortably high, making them nearly impossible to ignore as you go about your business all night. Jiggling.

Spanx require a full-body workout to get on and off. And when you finally do roll (yes, roll) those suckers down your legs (which is impossible to do while still maintaining some semblance of sex appeal), you’re left with deep red lines across your stomach. Hotness.

Thongs only require a slight tug (with teeth) to remove. They also happen to be easy to stuff back into your purse for the long Stride of Pride home. Jiggling.

You can see the dilemma. There’s really no true winner. It looks like the only option might be the old “I’ll meet you outside in a minute”/run into the bar bathroom and break a sweat taking off those Spanx and go commando before he has a chance to look up your skirt maneuver.

Sigh. It’s not easy being a girl.

While shopping at the mall with friends last weekend, my breakfast of Kashi Go Lean Crunch! came back to haunt me. And by “me,” I mean “everyone within a 10 foot radius.” Yeah, it’s true – I had a horrible case of the farts. So bad that I couldn’t even stand myself. I tried to hold it in – really, really hard – but they just kept coming and it was impossible for me to walk around a giant mall with my ass cheeks clenched together.

So I did what any normal woman would do: I walked away from my friends and left some smelly bombs in store corners and mall walkways. Poor shoppers didn’t know what was coming.

The entire ordeal was mortifying (especially when the guy bringing my shoes walked through an exceptionally offensive gas cloud and got a very sour look on his face) and could have been completely avoided had someone informed me about these special panties. Now, I am not one for granny panties (especially of the Hefty variety), but a pair of panties that could mask my gas?

Where do I sign up?

I’m not sure how they work, but as long as they don’t create a virtual dutch oven in my pants thus releasing the foul odor of a day’s worth of farts and knocking me out the moment I take them off, I don’t really care.  The mere thought of enjoying a fiberous breakfast and then flatulating all day without anyone knowing (I’m a master of the SBD) is enough to lure me in.

Even if you are trolling through a college town filled with kids who fully support and expect it, walking home with last night’s hair, makeup and footwear is never your proudest moment (though mastering the Wheelbarrow drunk the night before came pretty close).

Unfortunately, for many college coeds, the Walk of Shame is inevitable, especially when you combine Dollar Pitcher night at the local bar and a whole lot of good looking boys. But just because you are walking home from some dude’s house early in the morning doesn’t mean you have to look that way.

I am a strong believer in preparing for everything, and the Walk of Shame is no exception. Pack a few things before you go and no one will have any idea where you were last night.

First things first, avoid that “going out bag” and opt for something bigger. You probably already have one, but in case you want an excuse to buy something new, I love this new Tycoon Dome Satchel from Juicy. Cute enough for a night on the town, but big enough to pack all of the essentials.

Makeup Remover: The biggest giveaway on a Walk-of-Shamer besides traipsing through campus at 8am is the black eyeliner smudged under her bloodshot eyes. Get rid of that shiz. Toss a travel size bottle of makeup remover (or those handy little pads) into your bag before you go.

Pressed Powder: The morning after a heavy night of drinking leaves your face feeling and looking…less than fresh. And let’s be honest: you don’t want anyone (including that boy) seeing those stress related zits that popped up all over your chin.

Mascara: Bring it along to finish off the “I’m up early to go to the library!” look. This combined with the powder and removal of last night’s makeup will leave you lookin’ so fresh and so clean, clean.

Headband: Even if you didn’t get much sleep last night (you dawg), your hair is gonna be lookin’ a little ruffled in the AM. If you have a pony tail holder with you, use that. If your hair is short, though, throwing on a headband will pull it off your face and give off more of a “I am far too busy/lazy to wash it” look than the obvious “I totally just had morning sex and he didn’t drive me home” style.

Breath Strips: Easier to transport than a toothbrush (and don’t require you to get out of bed to freshen that morning breath!) these little guys are a must-have. You never know who you are going to run into on the street and cigarette/stale beer breath is a huge Walk of Shame red flag.

A Fresh Pair of Undies: You may have just spent the evening doin’ the dirty, dirty, but that doesn’t mean you have to be dirty. Bring along a fresh pair. Also good if things get a little wild and your underwear ends up on the top of a dresser, in the woods or…where the hell did those things go!?

If the weather is warm, tossing in a pair of flip flops and a casual t-shirt is a good idea. Seeing a girl walk arond in a tube top and heels is obviously a clear giveaway of what she was doin’ the night before. (If it is cold out, a simple jacket can cover up the evidence.) You can also take advantage of the more casual looks that are big right now and just opt for a deep-V t-shirt (the American Apparel ones are the bomb diggity) and a pair of skinny jeans for your going-out ensemble.

[Walk of Shame photo courtesy of Owen Yeo on Flickr.]

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2008/09/09/prepare-for-the-walk-of-shame/feed/ 11 Lauren - University of Michigan wos.jpg juicy-bag.jpg makeup-remover.jpg powder.jpg mascara.jpg headband.jpg listerine_pshot.jpg undies.jpg havianas2.jpg tshirt.jpg http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/25/dude-what-a-week-2/ http://collegecandy.com/2008/07/25/dude-what-a-week-2/#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:21:30 +0000 CC Staff http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/10703 T.G.I.F.

Remember when that meant a night of Full House and Family Matters? Now it just means a night of heavy drinking followed by a day of serious sleeping. And I still love it just as much.

This week was a long one. We lost Estelle Getty. Our boyfriend, Christian Bale, was arrested for yelling at his mother. And we found out that all the not-so-hard work we are putting into college isn’t worth crap anymore. Awesome.

But even …

T.G.I.F.

Remember when that meant a night of Full House and Family Matters? Now it just means a night of heavy drinking followed by a day of serious sleeping. And I still love it just as much.

This week was a long one. We lost Estelle Getty. Our boyfriend, Christian Bale, was arrested for yelling at his mother. And we found out that all the not-so-hard work we are putting into college isn’t worth crap anymore. Awesome.

But even though another week has passed, crazy girls are still around, we are still too picky when it comes to picking boys, and freaky guys are still all about peeing on us in bed. WTF?

Maybe we should stick to being single? It is far too hard to find a tall guy anyway. And getting into a relationship only means adding another ex to the list…who you will never be able to avoid thanks to our generation’s problem with oversharing.

Ugh. I need a shot.

At least boys are starting to appreciate more comfortable undies. I’ll keep that thought close to my heart as I enjoy yet another awesome summer weekend.

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According to a “real” Gchat between Lohan and a celebslam.com owner, the photos were stolen from her computer by a hacker who left a file on her desktop letting her know of his dirty deed. The pre-rehab pics are naked photos of Lindsay taken by ex-boy Calum Best.

In the Gchat, she warns CelebSlam editor Nick that her lawyers have already been notified of the missing pics. Nick notes at the bottom of the chat that Lohan’s Gmail address is real and is not the email address released to the public earlier in the year.

I’m not sure why Lindsay is so heated about the pics; doesn’t she remember America seeing her Poonan when the paps snapped her photo sans undies? It’s really nothing we haven’t seen before.

But to the hacker who stole the pics, I say thanks. Not that I want to see Lindsay’s lady bits again, but celebrity news has gotten a little boring since LiLo got sober. It’s good she’s still sticking to her new post-alky life-plan (reportedly only drinking water and Red Bull at Pure Nightclub in Vegas) but a little Lindsay drama is sometimes just what a girl needs.

So welcome back, Lindsay. Welcome Back.